Epic – Awesome – Amazing – Incredible – Legendary … these are all adjectives that came to mind when we discovered this next App Store gem … Tie Hot Knots.
Tie Hot Knots is a useful little application … it provides instructions for tying a tie. At only 40 cents per knot, included in this $1.99 app are directions for tying FIVE classic knots (wow – bargain) … Four-In-Hand, Windsor, Prince “not the piercing” Albert, Small and Half Windsor.
Ok, whatever … another “how to tie a tie” application … NOT! It has HOT chicks … you’ll get all hot and bothered just by reading the app’s description …
****MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY****
****HOTTEST TIE APP OUT****
Simple and sexy step-by-step instructions on how to tie a tie.
Tie Hot Knots brings you photos of beautiful women showing you how to tie a tie. All the classic tie knots presented the way you want. No more fat guys with chubby hands when you want to get ready for that big meeting or interview. Let the hands, lips, and hips of ladies guide you to step up your game with a fresh knot.
LMAO … but seriously, we don’t think Tie Hot Knots was meant to be a joke. We mean come on, LOOK AT THOSE HOT CHICKS! So hot, the developer couldn’t show their entire face and had no other option than to show Chop Chop Hot Chicks … smokin’ sexy.
Epic? Awesome? Amazing? Incredible? Legendary? Our bad. Make that … KRAPPtastic – KRAPPorama – KRAPPilicious … any way you describe it, it’s just plain KRAPP.
By now you’ve probably heard about the lost iPhone 4G saga – Apple employee gets drunk and loses the iPhone 4G prototype in a bar … some dude finds the lost iPhone and sells it to Gizmodo … Gizmodo publishes the exclusive story and pictures … Apple gets pissed and Gizmodo returns the iPhone to Apple … police raid Gizmodo editor Jason Chen’s home and seize computers as part of an investigation into the leak of the prototype iPhone … blah, blah, blah.
Well the kind folks at Headlight Software (developers of Knife Dancing [iTunes FREE] – the #1 game in in February 2010) thought they would lend a hand to all drunks and publish an app which would help any lost iPhone return to its rightful owner.
The concept is simple … users create a custom wallpaper for display on their iPhone’s "locked" screen. The wallpaper contains the owner’s contact information … an email or phone number … easily visible if the phone is found, even if a passcode lock is used.
Simple concept … yet brilliant. And with Apple’s track record of losing prototypes, a must buy for all employees (and part of every Apple wallpaper message should read – “$5,000 Reward For Return! No Questions Asked!”).
Now the beauty of this whole story is that Headlight Software has MAJOR BALLS. These guys developed the “recover lost iPhone” app and submitted it to Apple for approval under the name … Lost In A Bar. Below are the actual screenshots and icon (love it) submitted to Apple …
LMAO – classic stuff! Yeah, we’re sure you can guess what happens next …
Reeking of extreme arrogance and self-importance, Apple rejects the Lost In A Bar app claiming it’s “inappropriate”. WEAK … looks like the iPhone prototype was not the only thing they lost in a bar … WTF, where’s your sense of humor Apple?!?
But drunk people rejoice! A non-offensive, positive and appropriate “recover lost iPhone” application is already in the App Store … download Reward For Return [iTunes $0.99] and party on.
Hating on real estate agents is a great American pastime for a lot of people. Ultra-aggressive and over-the-top sales techniques , scratching each other’s eyes out for the latest listing … all while baking cookies and cutting fresh flowers for their next open house. It’s a dog eat dog world in the real estate market, where only the strong survive … so considering these conditions, no wonder real estate agents resemble circus freaks.
Well iPhone owners … brace yourselves … the circus is coming to town! The first wave of real estate agent iPhone apps have arrived, with the majority developed by a company called MobileAppLoader. For about $100, any real estate agent can purchase their customized “template” app and establish a footprint in the App Store. And you get what you pay for. These KRAPPS simply contain a “Call The Agent” button, an “Email the Agent” button, some links to the agent’s web site, a loan calculator and location-based emails notifying the agent you are in a specific neighborhood. Good stuff … if you’re into one-sided conversations.
But hey, you gotta applaud MobileAppLoader and the agents who shell out a hundred bucks for their app … at least their thinking out of the box. Plus it gives us a spotlight our favorites along with the accompanying screen shots …
Apparently Allen Jaworski has himself confused with some high powered Wall Street broker. And just look at him go … a mover and a shaker … Allen rocks! Uh dude – why don’t you have an iPhone … great job appealing to your target market!
Ahh … the lovely Jen And Joe Hernandez app … young newlyweds … they love each other so much … love, love , love. HELLO FREAKS – don’t put your cheese ball engagement photo on a business application! You expect us to trust you with our money when you can’t even keep your hands off each other during a simple business photo shoot? We want to kill our iPhone every time we launch the “Jen Hearts Joe” app and see their horndog picture. Love bites … get a freaking room!
There’s something about the HomeWay guy … not exactly sure what it is … maybe it’s the white jacket or the highlighted hair or the sexy goatee or the sexy smile. But whatever it is … we want to party with the HomeWay dude!!!
Meet Matt Stigliano of San Antonio Real Estate … poor sucker, he lost a bet with his friends and now is now forever engrained in the App Store as a Real Estate Agent Rockstar. Or maybe he really does think he’s a rockstar. Uh, ok – cool – yeah Matt … you are a rockstar and all the chicks dig you.
Finally we have Lori O’Day. We had to delete this app immediately as it caused us to have reoccurring nightmares featuring Lori’s mug offering us baked cookies at an open house … AHHHHHH …. seriously disturbing! WTF lady – invest in a decent portrait!
Have you ever seen the movie Dumb and Dumber? It’s a slapstick comedy film featuring the characters Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne. The movie follows their adventures and keeps the audience thinking – “who’s the bigger dumb ass, Lloyd or Harry”. Yeah, it’s a pretty dumb movie (pun intended), but entertaining none the less.
Well the developers at peekpoke seem to be big Dumb And Dumber fans. In honor of the movie, peekpoke has released two apps which are essentially Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne … the Kampi and Sales Kampi apps. Like the movie, these apps will keep you thinking, “which app is the bigger dumb ass?”
Rather than describe these two apps (words can’t really do these apps justice), take a look at the instructional video below. While the video runs just over one minute in length, you really only have to watch about 6 seconds of the video to understand its point.
So what exactly is the point of Kampi and Sales Kampi? Uhhh – hmmm … hmmm – ok, our bad – not really sure what’s the point of these apps. They sort of remind us of the Nothing app we recently featured. Yeah, maybe that’s it – the point of Kampi and Sales Kampi is absolutely nothing! Got it … we are good to go. So now that we understand the point of all this is nothing, only one question remains … between Kampi and Sales Kampi … which one is Dumb and which one is Dumber?
FREE Sales Kampi App To KRAPPS Viewers!
peekpoke was kind enough to provide codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download Sales Kampi for FREE. Simply be one of the first 10 viewers to leave a comment and we will email you the download code.