Get Your Shit Together Apple – Hooters App Approved, Banned, Re-Approved, Re-Banned

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We reported in great detail Apple’s recent war on smut apps … over 5,000 “overtly sexual” applications removed, virtually shutting down the entire niche. Now any time you wipe out such a large number of targets, there’s bound to be some collateral damage. Innocent bystanders like the swimwear shopping application Simply Beach … the 12+ rated iPhone game Daisey Mae’s Alien Buffet … and the photo manipulation app Wobble … were all banned for having “overtly sexual” content. Only they did not. Apple realized their mistakes and quickly reinstated these offerings.

Which brings us to today’s “WTF Moment”, courtesy of Apple …

hooters_logo_final Hooters is an American restaurant chain that’s been around for about 30 years. Their specialties are chicken wings and attractive waitresses dressed in white tank tops and orange runner’s shorts. Like any savvy business, Hooters had a number of officially licensed iPhone applications available in the App Store.

On The Go Girls was one of the developers that partnered with Hooters and published the Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash app. The app was released on January 21 and it quickly broke into the Top 100 of its category. So things were going great … until a month later, on February 18, D-Day for smut apps … Apple banned Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash. In addition to their Hooters application, Apple removed all 50 applications from On The Go Girls … completely shutting them down and destroying their sole source of income.

But wait! Apple realized that removing the all-American Hooters app was a mistake … and a week later, on February 25, Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash was re-approved for sale (with no change to its original content). Obviously a wise decision by Apple since the app skyrocketed into its category’s Top 25.

But wait! In typical bonehead fashion … less than two weeks later, Apple changed their mind once again and yesterday re-banned Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash.

Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. Approved … Banned … Approved … Banned. Apple is acting like a neurotic pregnant woman. And why the re-ban? Allegedly Apple received numerous customer complaints about the Hooters app. LMAO … yeah, because Hooters  Girls are so much more offensive than the ladies appearing in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit or Playboy applications (currently available for sale). 

SIiPhoneFINAL  HootersWashiPhone1_notok

After the first ban, Fred Clarke, co-founder of On The Go Girls, stated in a New York Times interview (that Apple’s censorship), “goes farther than sexy content. For developers, how do you know you aren’t going to invest thousands into a business only to find out one day you’ve been cut off?”

Well Mr. Clarke probably should have taken his own advice. Speaking with him yesterday,  he said, “We were reenergized when Apple reinstated our Hooters app and invested $5,000 for related development of the product line … only to be informed the app has been banned a second time. It’s a severe blow to our business, but we look forward to the challenge of succeeding in the App Store once again.”

Damn Fred! Is your glass always half-full? Are you always this happy-go-lucky? It’s ok to say it bro … repeat after us … FFFFUUU APPLE! Dude, not even the Double Jeopardy Clause in the US Constitution could save your ass from Apple. But then again, it should come as no surprise … this is Apple’s world, we just live in it. 

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[please note: while the above details the proceedings of the twice banned screen wash app … two other Hooters-themed applications have a similar saga – Hooters Calendar Girls Slideshow and 2010 Hooters Calendar Video.]

March 11, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle, News | 6 Comments 

“This Is My Gift To All Current And Future iPhone Users” – Fart Dialer

If you follow us on Twitter, then you know that a good number of our tweets announce paid applications that have gone free for a limited time. We figure everyone loves a bargain and nothing beats a good free iPhone app. For example, we just tweeted three excellent iPhone games that are currently free: Fly-Flap [iTunes] was $0.99 … Sniper Strike [iTunes] was $1.99 … Mole – Quest For The Terracore Gem [iTunes] was $1.99. If interested, get these babies now as they’ll return to full price shortly.

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On any given day, there are hundreds of paid apps which drop to the gratis level. And honestly, most of them suck. But that’s why we review every application price drop and only announce (tweet) the apps which are solid candidates for permanent residency on our iPhone. Think of us as your personal concierge … tweeting only the best app bargains.

Yesterday was huge in our daily free app treasure hunt. Rarely do we come across such a gem of high distinction and we were thrilled to share it with our followers. The app is regularly priced at 99 cents … but we got it for free … hurray for Fart Dialer!

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Now when you think about the 3 billion fart applications available in the App Store … most of them are of the one-dimensional soundboard variety. Push a button, hear a fart … yipeee, puke! The beauty of Fart Dialer is … (get this) … when dialing a phone number, each number pressed is a unique fart sound. See … that’s why they call it Fart Dialer … it farts when you dial … WOW! And check this – in true Jerky Boys fashion, the thing actually dials the number … Fart Dialer works … WOW!

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We spoke with Fart Dialer developer Mark Gurman regarding his inspiration for creating such a revolutionary app … “Isn’t it obvious? What could be better than a farting phone?”, said Mr. Gurman. “After seeing such ridiculous apps like Fart Piano, Farts With Push Notification, Fart Olympics and Bacon Farts, I realized the fart niche desperately needed a high quality application which would enhance the iPhone’s native functionality,” Mr. Gurman continued, “Fart Dialer is my gift to all current and future iPhone users.”

WOW! Beautiful words … excuse us while we wipe the tears from our eyes.

After hearing our enthusiasm for Fart Dialer, Mr. Gurman agreed to extend his offer. Fart Dialer will remain free for at least the next 24 hours … WOW! So hurry, don’t miss Mr. Gurman’s generous offer … download Fart Dialer for free! After all, it would be uncivilized to turn down a gift.

March 10, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 2 Comments 

Overtly Sexual Apps Return – Apple Fails To Enforce New Policy?

As we reported three weeks ago, Apple went on a massive rampage of sex-oriented app removals. Without any advance warning … Apple banned over 5,000 applications during the course of 72 hours. This sweep of the App Store is Apple’s most  significant effort in their war on smut apps, resulting in hundreds of developers’ livelihoods taken away. Apple delivered a serious and clear message … applications that contain “overtly sexual” content  will not be tolerated.

After making such a strong and well publicized anti-sex app statement, you would assume Apple would err on the side of caution regarding any future sex-oriented applications. But we should all be familiar with the whole “Ass” out of “U” and “Me” thing.

Just three weeks after 5,000 smut apps were banished, Apple approved the myCupcakes and myBuns applications (both paid and free versions of each), by Bangin Apps. And while cupcakes and buns might seem like wholesome subject matters, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the true meaning behind these code names … tits and ass.

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Bangin Apps, is no stranger to the App Store. Prior to Apple’s change of smut policy, they enjoyed two highly successful releases … myBoobs and myBooty. Both apps were ranked in the Entertainment category’s Top 100 and positioned as flagship products.

myBoobsLogosm    myBootyLogosm

In attempt to follow Apple’s new guidelines, Bangin Apps re-skinned myBoobs and myBooty with new names and preview screenshots. However the content of the apps remains the same … tits and ass. And wouldn’t you know it, Apple approved the four “overtly sexual” apps with no delays whatsoever. Like their predecessors, myCupcakes and myBuns are climbing the charts … with myCupcakes already in the Top 100 of its category. 

myCupcakes-Splash  myBuns-Splash

We doubt Apple reversed their policy once again … allowing “overtly sexual” handbra and dental floss covered ass images. We emailed Bangin Apps and are waiting for a reply … how did myCupcakes and myBuns apps bust through Apple’s no smut policy? Since these applications do not store pictures in-app, rather content is delivered via a server … our guess is that at the time of review, Apple never saw any of the scantly clad female images which the app currently contains.

But come on … did Apple really think myCupcakes and myBuns would contain a bunch of pastry and cake images? As discussed, Apple should err on the side of caution … cupcakes and buns … DUH!

March 8, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, News | 12 Comments 

Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz iPhone App – Why Didn’t We Think Of That?

If we were to run a contest, challenging developers to come up with a clever name for their app which uses all the 26 letters of the English alphabet … then this Austrian dude, Jörg Piringer, would be the big winner. No, Jörg’s iPhone app is not “The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog” … he got straight to the point and released  … abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.

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Besides having an obnoxiously loveable name, the best part is that  abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz (FFFFUUUU for making us spell that out) is not even a word game or some type of etymology (look it up – we did) app. Nope … it’s a freaking “sound toy”. You see, Jörg, is what they call, a sound geek … or as he puts it, a “sound poet”. Dude is a member of the Institute for Transacoustic Research and the Vegetable Orchestra (no clue) … so the result of all his musical madness is an extremely dance-tee bizarre, one of a kind, iPhone application.

Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz (you bastard Jörg) is sort of like an interpretive dance performance, but with letters. The app’s description reads, “create and control tiny sound-creatures in the shape of letters that react to gravity or each other and generate rhythms and soundscapes.”  … huh? … yeah, it’s really hard to describe – just watch Jörg’s demo video below.

Jörg swears up and down that he does not take drugs … but watching his video, really makes us question this claim. We guess abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz (you suck bro!) is pretty cool … but since we are completely sober at the time of this writing (please, no wiseass remarks), we simply cannot get a grip on this visual concept of flying letters and corresponding sounds. Sound geeks … feel free to chime in (see what we did there?) with your opinion.

 

March 5, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 19 Comments 

Amazing Dirty Sex City Names For iPhone – Really, Really Bad (Names)

Our apologies in advance! For whatever reason we are feeling a bit childish today and reverting to a preteen mentality. But hey, don’t blame us … this is what happens when all “overtly sexual” content is removed from the App Store and one must stretch for a bit of iPhone titillation. So bear with us while we streeeeetch with the Amazing Dirty Sex City Names app.

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Aside from the blatant attempt at being a search engine magnet … at first … Amazing Dirty Sex City Names made us question this whole business of Apple protecting their brand from cheesy sex-oriented apps. Yeah, the cheese factor on this one is off the charts! But although probably best suited for a frat party or some boy’s/girl’s night out … Amazing Dirty Sexy Names managed to induce a Beavis and Butthead-like chuckle from us. Big Beaver, Pennsylvania … huh, huh. Dildo, Newfoundland … huh, huh. Blue Ball, Pennsylvania … huh, huh.

Sex-City-Names-1  Big-Beaver-PA

Sex-City-Names-2  dildo-newfoundland

Sex-City-Names-3  Blue-Ball-PA

And the whole sophomoric episode continues – Fort Dick, California … Spread Eagle, Wisconsin … Middelfart, Denmark … Sexmoan, Philippines … Long Dong, China … Pussy Creek, Ohio … and on and on. Ok …we’ll stop … after one more. Did you know it takes 4 hours to get from Intercourse to Climax? Huh, huh … when traveling between those two cities in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania … HA!

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Agreed … Amazing Dirty Sex City Names is over the top in cheese … but beggars can’t be choosey in the App Store these days. 

March 3, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 6 Comments 

Wobble iBoobs Back On Sale For Your Jiggling Pleasures!

Yesterday in our “The Comedy Of Errors – Starring Apple” article, we reported that after realizing their mistakes, Apple reinstated two previously banned apps … Simply Beach and Daisey Mae’s Alien Buffet. These two apps were originally collateral damage in Apple’s war against smut apps.

Well it looks like Apple has corrected a couple of other OOOPS-ies. Yesterday Apple reinstated six previously banned Hooters apps, including the Hooters Calendar Screen Wash app we highlighted by publisher On The Go Girls.

hooters-all  HootersWashiPhone

And just now, we received word, that the once banned Wobble iBoobs and Wobble iBoobs (Premium) apps are now available for sale on the App Store. Well sort of … looks like there was a slight tweak in the app’s title … no iBoobs. Guess it’s less “overtly sexual” this way.

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Stay tuned to KRAPPS as we’ll keep you abreast (see what we did there?) to any further developments in iSexGate 2010.

February 25, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle, News | 5 Comments 

Star Wars Scrolling Text Lands On The iPhone With Star Wordz App

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Attention Star Wars fans! Get ready to rejoice and totally geek out. The beloved crawl of text seen at the beginning of each film did NOT fly off the movie screen … into the darkness of space … and crash down on Earth. Nope … that was just a vicious rumor started by a couple of bored kids one day during winter break (no clue? see “Star Wars vs. Star Trek” video at the end of article).

The real deal is that the iconic scrolling text is now available for the iPhone using the new Star Wordz app [iTunes $0.99] (ha! see what the developers did there?). We’re actually pretty floored it took this long for the Star Wars scrolling text to arrive on the iPhone … but we guess when your traveling from a galaxy far, far away … it takes awhile. 

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Anywho … Star Wordz lets you customize your own Intro, Episode, Title and paragraphs of crawl text … mirroring the structure of the actual opening crawl of each Star Wars episode. Then just touch the Create button and the app launches your custom crawl on the iPhone via Safari for your viewing pleasure. Plus you can bookmark the page to view it one million times.

 

Being uber Star Wars fanboys … we love this app. It satisfies our Galactic Empire needs … plus chicks dig it too. Recently while clubbing, we used Star Wordz to help us pickup babes. It totally worked and now we have a smoking hot girlfriend thanks to Star Wordz.  We’d show you her picture, but she’s “overtly sexual” and has been banned from KRAPPS.

So yeah, get your Star Wars freak on and check out Star Wordz. For 99 cents, it’ll make your iPhone even more awesome and maybe even hook you up with an “overtly sexual” female.

 

February 25, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 19 Comments 

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