Cheap Bastards Rejoice – Best Bang (not a sex app) Helps You Get Drunk For Less

stimulus-package On the heels of The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (Obama’s economic stimulus package), the kind folks at Studio Karkajoo decided they would take matters into their own hands and publish an app that would make a positive impact on the American economy. A noble gesture indeed, especially considering the fact that Studio Karkajoo are just a bunch of iPhone geeks with no political or economic know-how. Their agenda is pure … appeal to the common man. Their application is brilliant and timely for these tough economic times … Best Bang! (not a sex app)


Simply put, Best Bang [iTunes $0.99 and Free Version] helps you get drunk for less. And the less money you spend getting shit faced, the more money you have available to purchase Apple stock … it’s a win-win situation, courtesy of Studio Karkajoo.

Best Bang is an alcohol ROI calculator … with the “return” defined as wasted, plastered or f*cked up. The app quickly compares the price per alcohol level between any given beers, wines or spirits. All you need to do is enter the price, alcohol percentage, volume per bottle and total package units … and Best Bang will spit out the best bang for your buck.

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Say for example money is tight and you’re looking to get your date hammered (or hammer your date) as cheaply as possible. Do you buy a $10.50 bottle of California wine or a six-pack of Beer Wiser for $7.50? Twelver of Beer Ribbon for $9.80 or a big boy Tennessie (cool it spelling police) Whiskey at $27.50? Well unless you’re that janitor dude from Good Will Hunting, you’ll need Best Bang to accurately recommend Beer Wiser and Beer Ribbon for your night of cheap thrills.

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Outside of stimulating America’s economy, Best Bang is essential for starving college students (i <3 ramen), BP public relations employees, Foxconn workers or anybody on a tight budget.

So to review, our winning formula = use Best Bang [iTunes $0.99 and Free Version] to get drunk for less … buy Apple stock with the savings … wait until 2012 when Apple releases iBoard … cash in Apple stock and become RICH! On behalf of the people of Walmart, cheap bastards and all American citizens … we thank Studio Karkajoo for their exciting stimulus package, Best Bang! (not a sex app)

Root For The Financial Ruin Of America With The PUMA Index

There’s no denying that the iPhone has quickly become the most successful and popular mobile device. With over 75,000 available applications (man that number just keep growing and growing), the iPhone is the reigning King of Smartphones. And despite countless difficulties and issues surrounding the publishing of apps within a system that is clearly broken, developers keep flocking to Apple for their chance at App Store success ($$$). Seems like everyone is becoming a developer these days and leaving their footprint in the App Store for the world to see. Heck, why not … the price of admission is only a hundred  bucks which secures an iPhone Developer License and a shot at making it big and rich.

Fake-Puma In addition to specialized developers and application publishers, the App Store is also attracting big businesses … the Fortune 500s of the world. Ralph Lauren’s app features a store locator, runway show videos, catalogs and more – Oakley published a surf report app – Red Bull and BMW have racing games – while Grolsch offers air hockey played on a beer bottle. As with most corporate entities, their efforts are fairly conservative and guarded. Air hockey, surf reports, runway videos, racing games … nice, but fairly flat and “in the box”. Well “in the box” went “out of the box” yesterday, when Puma entered the App Store with The PUMA Index.


LOL … good for you Puma! Mix in some sexiness to an otherwise dull and stuffy subject matter … the Dow Jones Index. Market goes up … everybody’s happy. Market tanks … everybody’s still happy courtesy of Puma Skin. This app is clearly a win-win for everyone.

Strange, while reviewing The PUMA Index, we were actually rooting for the market to crash. Hey, don’t hate us … just like the stereotype … we are healthy males, always ready for some skin, no matter what the cost. But sadly, the Dow did well and we were forced to watch a cheesy animation of some fully clothed handsome dude sweeping the floor and an equally dressed up hot chick blowing balloons (very random activities indeed). We decided to peek in on The PUMA Index during off (sleep) hours, thinking perhaps we could catch a glimpse of some sexy lingerie … no such luck, just animations of sleeping dude with a pillow over his face (we don’t think he was dead) and the hot chick tossing and turning as if she was having a really bad dream of the market crashing and thus forced to strip.

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Well The PUMA Index certainly promises some fun and excitement … but so far it’s been a boring tease. We’ll continue to root for the financial ruin and devastation of America in hopes of seeing Puma’s animated strip show. Hmmm …wait a minute … could this be a conspiracy to turn all iPhone owners against the success of our Nation’s financial sector? Does The PUMA Index have something to do with colliding political agendas? Or what about our current recession – is Puma making some kind of a corporate statement? Maybe Puma is really Doctor Evil! Whatever. Screw the paranoia, let’s focus on sex. Memo to Victoria Secret … get off your boney size 2 asses and make The VICTORIA Index already!

Blank Check For Blank Minds (aka Dumb Asses Rejoice)

Here at KRAPPS, we try to make your life easier. Call it a value-added benefit of being a loyal reader (thank you – we appreciate your support). Searching through the awesomeness of the App Store, we’ve shared many amazing discoveries. Selections like Noodle Timer … a countdown timer app solely dedicated to taking the stress out of making Cup O’ Noodles. Or how about the Taxi Hold’em app … it’s tough work hailing a cab, but this app alleviates the stress of raising your arm and waving it around to get the attention of a cab driver. And finally … never again be frustrated by adding the number one over and over again … “1 plus 1 plus 1 plus 1 equals 4” … piece of cake with the Plus One app. You  see … reading KRAPPS really does make your life easier.

ed_helms_tooth Well folks, we came across another sack of suck … errr … beacon of brilliance. How many times have you been trying to fill out a check, only to get stuck on that line where you have to spell out the dollar amount? Amen brotha! – Been there, done that! The little box where you get to write the numbers down is cake … but dang, spelling the shit out is enough to make us want to pull out our teeth – completely MADDENING! But no worries … we make your life easier (and save your teeth) … check out the Blank Check app.


“Helps write checks” – Nice! … “Type in the amount for the check and it will convert it into words” – Nice! This is exactly the kind of amazing “think different“ technology we expected from Apple when we shelled out 300 bones for the iPhone … value added baby.

And Blank Check so totally works! “15.86” magically translates to “fifteen 86/100”. Even does hundreds, “122.37” accurately converts to “one hundred twenty-two 37/100”. We even decided to get really crazy on Blank Check … you know, try to trip it up and all. So we went there … oh yes we did! … we went to the Land Of Thousands with “3,846.03” … and gosh darn dang it, Blank Check passed with flying colors, spitting out “three thousand eight hundred forty-six 03/100” … AMAZING!



Writing checks can indeed be a daunting task, especially those rubber ones (sorry, stupid joke). We sincerely hope our latest discovery, Blank Check, will have a positive and meaningful impact on your life. Have a great and stress-free weekend, courtesy of KRAPPS.

Cheap Bastards

Camping3 Tally Up is a nifty little calculator the enables the user to divide multiple expenses over a group of people – so that each individual pays the proper amount and no one gets the shaft. The developer claims he wrote this app in response to a real life camping trip he attended … 12 people went on the trip, 7 people drank beer, 11 people ate breakfast and 10 people ate dinner … with Tally Up, simply enter the data and the app will spit out, down to the penny, the correct amount each individual owes. In conclusion, the developer states that a 45 minute problem on his real life camping trip can now be reduced to 3 minutes.


Camping2 Wow! Honestly, we’d think twice about ever going on a camping trip again with the guy who whips out his iPhone and starts punching in numbers into Tally Up. So accuracy is not down to the penny – who cares – what’s a few dollars amongst friends? And these 12 folks sat there for 45 minutes, crunching numbers, trying to figure out who owes what and what’s the fair share? LOL! Cheap bastards. We can imagine the bickering back and forth over the dollar amounts. Didn’t anyone figure their time and effort were better spent making another beer run? Sounds like one heck of a group … be sure to throw us an invite to next year’s trip … we’re am so there!

Citi Mobile App

By demand, KRAPPS will periodically review “legit” apps thru a network of guest authors.

Title: Citi Mobile
Category: Finance
Guest Author:

What is KRAPPS? Well, I don’t know that I can define it, but I know it when I see it. And the U.S. Banking industry is definitely KRAPPS. Think about it: anyone who bought a fart app may embarrass a few of the more stodgy types, and end up poorer by $0.99, but at least they get some sophomoric laughter out of the deal. But the U.S. banking industry has cost taxpayers hundreds of billions of dollars, put thousands of people out of work, and made thousands more homeless, without providing even a chuckle!

724680 Citibank has received over $20 Billion and counting of bailout money. And what do we get for our money? Well, an iPhone app, for one! Called Citi Mobile, the app is (mercifully) free. A pleasant “Citi” logo marks their app, and when you run it for the first time, you have to register your iPhone via text message. You also have to enter your PIN every time you run the application. These basic security measures are, of course, necessary. Unfortunately, there’s nothing in the app to prevent you from entering your PIN on the “Notes” app so you won’t forget it.

I don’t use many financial apps on my iPhone, mainly because all of my money is tied up in groceries. I have used the Paypal app and I’ve used the mobile web site for another bank. After you enter your PIN to log into the Citibank app, you get a list of your open accounts. I have one savings account and two credit card accounts (I opened up the savings account because they had a deal where 1% of everything I buy on the credit cards gets credited to the savings account, even if I pay my bill off every month!). The last 3 digits of each account number is shown, not the full account number, again for security. You also see the balance of each of the accounts, and you can select “Recent Activity” and “Search Activity” for the savings account. The activity functions are very useful features, and I’m not sure why they’re not available for the credit cards. It would be very nice to be able to check up and see exactly how much that sleazy retailer charged to your credit card while you’re on the way out the door. The activity is available from their web site, and the iPhone app has it for the savings account, so why not for the credit cards?

In addition to looking up your accounts, there are buttons for Payments, Transfers, Locations, and Services. While I don’t use my Citi account for bill paying, I see how it would be useful to have it available on the iPhone. I could see using the Bill Pay or Transfer features if you’re out and about and suddenly remember that you forgot to pay a bill or cover your checking account. The Locations function is nice, in that it uses the GPS to find ATMs and branches in your area (you can also enter a Zip Code or address if you don’t want to use the current location). The Services button allows you to change the app settings or easily call their Customer Service.

All in all, it’s a quite useful app and worth it if you have a Citi account, and while I don’t think that I’d choose them as my bank because of the app, some people might. I just wish the app said “I bailed out Citibank for $20 Billion and all I got was this lousy iPhone app.”