Hamster Beats All Humans In Reebok iSprint Race [plus video]

Unlike the “hot chick taking her clothes off” app from their sportswear competitor Puma … Reebok International decided to create an app closer to its business core … Reebok iSprint [iTunes – FREE].

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Basically this is a finger sprint app … but totally pimped out by Reebok with an awesome  feature set not typically found in free iPhone apps :

> Four different tracks to race on
> Realistic starting blocks and starter’s gun game sounds
> Online scoreboards with global rankings (current day, current week, all-time)
> One and two player modes for head-to-head races on two iPhones
> Twitter functionality

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The peer-to-peer multiplayer mode is way cool … plus if you’re competitive freaks like us, the global ranking is both a blessing and a curse. It’s kickass to get your name and score on the leaderboard, but you’ll get totally hooked and play iSprint  non-stop.

But we must warn you though … if you are looking to set a Reebok iSprint world record, sucks for you. There is a rodent who specializes in putting up insane iSprint times. Yup, a RODENT … a freaking HAMSTER! This little shit is like the Usain Bolt in iSprint world. He goes by the name of Harold and has clocked a world’s best of 3.86 seconds (yes, Harold passed the post-race drug test, so his time is totally legit). Don’t believe us … well then check out Harold’s record breaking video below … dude is amazing!

 

November 27, 2009 | Filed Under Games | 4 Comments 

Mr. Dumb Toilet – A Worthy Beavis And Butthead Homage

(written by guest author Connor Coghlan. follow Connor on Twitter @Condawg)

beavis_and_butthead_mtv “I am the Great Cornholio! I need T.P. for my bunghole!” – Beavis
“Shut up fartknocker!” – Butthead
“FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!” – Beavis
“Calm down Beavis. You’re gonna soil your drawers.” – Butthead
“Skulls are cool.” – Butthead

LMAO … who doesn’t love Beavis and Butthead? I grew up on that shit and seeing the
Mr. Dumb: Toilet iPhone game (by ZenuxLab) this heavily inspired by Mike Judge’s amazing characters truly strikes an awesome chord in me. Mr. Dumb: Toilet had me at “hello bunghole” … I fell in love from the moment I laid eyes on it.

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The gameplay in Mr. Dumb: Toilet is simple, yet polished … make sure the urinals keep flowing properly or they will flood the entire bathroom. Disgusting roaches run wild and you have to squish them. If you miss a roach, they go behind a urinal and it becomes temporarily out of service. To make sure the urinals keep running and don’t overflow, you have to press the flush button whenever they stop.

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There’s also some douchebag (I assume he’s some steroid abusing security guy) who keeps throwing trashcans at you … WTH dicknose! You’ve gotta avoid the flying cans or game over. Doing my best Beavis and Butthead slacker impersonation, I didn’t feel like reading instructions and totally skipped over them. This caused me to keep dying repeatedly … so let’s be 100% clear …. TRASH CANS – THEY ARE BAD.

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Anyhow, this game is freaking fun so be very careful not to soil your drawers. I find myself playing it in small spurts and just loving the non-suck homage to Beavis and Butthead.
Mr, Dumb: Toilet [iTunes $0.99] is definitely worth a look, whether you are a Beavis and Butthead fan or not … for sure!

 

November 21, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | 2 Comments 

Fish One, Fish Two, Fish Fun, Fish You!

(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)

Fish-Fun-Logo-FINAL First off, let me state that I am a big fan of 99 Games. Their games WordsWorth, Wordulous and Chess Elite have been favorably reviewed here (two of them by me; like I said, a fan). So, when I heard that they had a new game out called Fish Fun, I headed over to the App Store and snapped it up on the first day (OK, in the interest of disclosure, it was on sale for free that first day to celebrate their one year anniversary in the App Store). The App Store imagery depicts a big fish going after a smaller fish, so I was ready for some fast-swimming, fish-chomping action. The actual game is way more subdued than that, though it does still have some cool elements.

You start off playing either the Dude or Queen fish, using the accelerometer to move around, avoiding the bigger fish and going after the smaller ones. There is an option to tap on the edges of the screen instead of the tilt-to-move, but I found it extremely hard to maneuver in that mode. Since the screen is oriented as a side view, I started playing with the phone oriented like I was looking into an aquarium. I noticed that the game info mentioned that it is better to hold the phone parallel to the floor; this felt awkward at first, but it is definitely easier to score that way.

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There are four power ups that enhance the game play (you start with two of them and earn the other two along the way). Speed and Scramble are available at the start of the game. With Speed, your fish moves twice as fast for a limited amount of time and with Scramble, all of the other fish move out of the way for a moment. Each is a single use to be repowered at certain point levels.

Three mini games are included for quick fun. Tap, Gulp and Loop can be accessed from the main menu and are also interspersed as bonus rounds in regular play. The most challenging one of these, Loop, is also the one I found the most fun: draw a loop around as many similar sea creatures as possible while avoiding the others.

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Kids will probably find this game highly enjoyable (especially while they search for the ever popular Clown Fish to gobble up). It takes very good hand-eye coordination to achieve the higher scores, which will unlock more fish and more types of power ups. There is an Aqua Mode that makes the display look more like water. A cool feature indeed, but on a 3G device it slows the frame rate way down.

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The developers have also included a Challenge mode to allow you to play against friends on Facebook and others in your contacts list. Online leaderboards let you compare your scores against the Fish Fun elite! At 99 cents [iTunes], the game is attractively priced.

November 7, 2009 | Filed Under Games, Guest Authors | 3 Comments 

Pocket Devil – And You Thought Google Wave Was Confusing

Pocket God Ouchie Our beef with Pocket God is no secret … it’s a bit too PG-13 for us. All this sadistic gameplay leaves us yearning for more. Throw in some South Park, mix in a little Beavis and Butt-Head … why can’t we tear off a pygmy’s arm with a shark? Heck, we got so worked up over this, we even ran an article last April called … A Better Pocket God.

So imagine our reaction when checking out the Top Paid Apps and discovering our “Better Pocket God” came to fruition … and better yet, holding the #2 spot in Top Paid Apps ($ cha ching $). Needless to say, our jaws hit the floor and we thought … “bunch of fargin iceholes at Bolt Creative – they finally got the boils to release a Pocket God sequel” … Pocket Devil.

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Well needless to say, we are stoked for the Pocket God sequel. The pygmies are perfectly transformed into little devils … they bear a striking, yet sinister resemblance.

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The splash screens are spot on … both incorporating their game’s characters and respective logos … even the loading indicator is duplicated.

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Both games take place on an island and have awesome erupting volcanoes spitting out fiery lava that rain down upon the inhabitants.

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And genius of Bolt Creative to leverage their well established and successful brand Pocket God by simply giving the name a polar opposite and evil twist … God becomes Devil – strong! Heck, Pocket Devil could become a case study for perfect marketing execution … extending one’s brand to create immediate value and recognition when establishing a new product line. Bravo!

Whoa – hold on a second! WTF … this ain’t no freaking Pocket God sequel. This is a curiously similar game, made by a totally different publisher, Eyedip LLC. Huh? Very confusing!

Now before all the Pocket Devil fan-boys get their panties in a bundle … let’s be clear, we have NO problem with developers taking the Pocket God concept and running with it. That is awesome! The more the merrier – competition breeds excellence which ultimately benefits us, the consumer. And there are plenty of applications influenced by Pocket God that achieve their own uniqueness. For example, the Malevolent and Knights Onrush apps … both inspired by Pocket God, yet remain different.

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But Pocket Devil is annoying as Paris Hilton. It’s the way Eyedip went about creating their Pocket God inspired app. Too close for comfort bro … like kissing your cousin … totally freaking creepy. For example, those sinister devils which bear a striking resemblance to Pocket God pygmies … kiss kiss cousin Lola Rose … ewww! The evil twist of the title God to Devil … kiss kiss cousin Daisy Boo … ewww!

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All these similarities beg the question – are unsuspecting Pocket God fans purchasing Pocket Devil thinking the game is a Pocket God sequel from Bolt Creative? And if so … is Pocket Devil riding the coattails of Pocket God’s success and thus not succeeding on their own merit?

Now slow down fan-boys … these questions are not whack. Just look at Pocket Devil’s user ratings – 2½ stars, the lowest rating in the Top 10 paid apps. And what, you think everyone is as sharp as surgeon’s scalpel (especially considering the majority of Pocket God’s customers are young kids who can be easily confused)? Read these examples of Pocket God fans who purchased Pocket Devil thinking a sequel was released by Bolt Creative.

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Of course you can argue stupidity on the buyer’s part … but it still begs the question … is Pocket Devil succeeding on their own merit or is their game so close in resemblance to Pocket God, that consumers think it’s an actual sequel from Bolt Creative?

And by the way … all you cousin-kissers … cut that shit out … it’s freaking gross!

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November 6, 2009 | Filed Under Games, News | 35 Comments 

Pro Surfing Wildcard – Realistic iPhone Surf Game, Except For Peeing In Your Wetsuit

(written by guest author Connor Coghlan. follow Connor on Twitter @Condawg)

PSW-Logo-Large Have you ever played a surfing videogame? I never had … so when asked to review Pro Surfing Wildcard (by Traction Games), I had no idea what to expect. I went into the experience expecting something poorly stitched together with lame gameplay mechanics that would only appeal to hardcore surfers. However, what I encountered was much different.

Pro Surfing Wildcard had me totally hooked within ten minutes (that’s about how long it took me to get used to the controls). It features a Free Surf mode and a Compete mode, in which you compete through an entire season of surfing, trying to beat the scores of other surfers … this mode is absolutely addictive! The season takes you on an epic surf trip, hitting various breaks worldwide … USA, Mexico, Norway and Australia. You can submit your scores to the online global leaderboard or simply join the Pro Surfing Wildcard online community for various tips, tricks and general banter.

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You start the game by paddling into a wave and popping up on your surfboard … moving with a nice implementation of accelerometer controls. There is a button to slow down (this helps stall your board so you can get deep inside a tube) and four trick buttons. The control scheme takes a bit of getting used to, but it’s very simple to get the hang of. Don’t give up the first time you fall off your board and eat it … this game is too much fun to wuss out on after one failed attempt (which you will definitely have – hey, even in real life, you don’t start charging waves after your first attempt).

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Each session is timed, with the time pausing every time you wipe out. A landed trick gives you points, while a wipe out reduces your accumulated points (which seems like a pain at first, but provides motivation to get better).

When it comes to acceleration, it’s automatic, with the slow down button that I referenced earlier. Landing takes a bit of getting used to as you must land the maneuver in the correct direction or you’ll biff. And I’ve confirmed with the good admin here at KRAPPS, who is a surfer himself, that acceleration and landing are quite realistic (although the air you get from a wave is a bit exaggerated).

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In addition to the wave you ride in Free Surf, you are able to unlock three additional waves by playing through the Competition mode. This feature provides plenty of reason to keep playing Pro Surfing Wildcard and is actually pretty rewarding.

The graphics are nice for the platform. Nothing spectacular (especially the water), but definitely bearable, and not by any means an eyesore. Speaking of the water … it’s cold! Consulting KRAPPS, they said typically surfers will pee in their wetsuits in attempts to warm up … this would be a nice feature for future updates.

Anti-Krapps-Seal-v2GIF All in all, I’m very impressed with Pro Surfing Wildcard … it is a great iPhone game – much better than what expected. That said, it doesn’t take a surfer to enjoy this game as I’ve never surfed once in my life (except the Internet), and I’m having a blast. I’ve actually had to pause the production of this review a few times to get in a round or two. Pro Surfing Wildcard is available for $1.99 in iTunes, it’s totally worth it and I hereby declare it 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified – definitely!

 

November 4, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | 37 Comments 

Ravensburger Lowers Ban Hammer On Apple For Trademark Infringement – Developers Beware!

So have you noticed the ton of memory match games available for download in the App Store? From the “vanilla” titled Memory app to more “exotic” titles like Beer Memory, Sexy Memory, Christmas Memory and Monsters Memory … Apple sells just about every memory game flavor.

Ban-Hammer Uh, make that past tense … Apple SOLD just about every memory game flavor. Seems there is a big ol’ German company called Ravensburger who owns the registered trademark “Memory”. A year after the App Store went live, the bad ass folks at Ravensburger finally decided they had seen enough and sent Apple notice. Dated 8/13/09, Ravensburger Digital GmbH (a subsidiary of Ravensburger) sent Apple a 4-page letter informing them of the trademark violation, requesting Apple remove the offending applications … and on a final note, inviting Apple to explore a possible partnership with Ravensburger.

Ravensburger – “You will certainly understand that our company cannot and will not tolerate the unauthorized use by third parties of its trademark Memory®, for designating games and toys as being offered, inter-alia, in your company’s highly popular iTunes store. We therefore kindly invite you to take the appropriate measures to remove from your platform those products offered under the designations which interfere with the trademark rights of our parent company and to confirm that his has been effected in due course.”

(complete letter can be downloaded HERE)

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Similar to the app approval process, it seems Apple did not act quick or effective enough for Ravensburger. Two months after initial contact, on 10/15/09, Ravensburger emailed Apple that they found a large number of sellers who are still offering apps using their registered trademark “Memory” and new “illegal” memory apps being approved by Apple. Ravensburger even attached an Excel spreadsheet of sellers who were still in violation.

Ravensburger – “In accordance to German law you are obliged to make sure that products offered on your internet platform are not infringing our rights in the trademark “memory” … You have not complied are you are still not complying with your obligations under German law … As a final attempt to avoid a legal conflict, we hereby ultimately ask you to remove from your platform all applications using our trademark “memory” as listed in the file attached hereto no later than October 22, 2009. Should we still find one of the infringing applications after October 22 on your platform, we do not see any other possibility than to immediately take the appropriate steps.”

Well that finally got Apple’s attention. Emails from AppStoreNotices@apple.com went flying. The initial email requested sellers to fix the problem because pursuant to the agreement with Apple, sellers are responsible for any liability to Apple because of a rights infringement claim. A second email, dated 10/29/09, served as a blunt reminder to sellers who did not previously comply:

Apple – “Ravensburger has advised that this matter is still not resolved … Please contact Ravensburger immediately regarding this issue … If the matter is not resolved shortly, Apple will pull your app from the App Store.”

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Developers we spoke to were surprised by their infringement (they had no clue such a common word as “memory” was a registered trademark), but will comply by changing there app’s name. There was concern amongst developers that they would also not be allowed to use the keyword “memory” … however after a brief delay, Apple communicated that this keyword technique will continue to be acceptable.

On final note, seems developers need to be extra careful with this Ravensburger thing. Not only were apps cited with the term “Memory” in their title, but Ravensburger reported apps such as … Jirbo Match – Mem – Monkey Preschool Lunchbox – Twin Tiles … as being in violation as well. Ravensburger made it clear they also do not want sellers using “Memory” in the descriptions of app. Ouch! … fair warning – piss off Ravensburger, bet the ban hammer. Play it safe … just stick to developing fart apps.

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November 3, 2009 | Filed Under Games, News | 32 Comments 

Flying Feces Hits The App Store

Pocket God BLECH The iPhone is truly a rocking portable gaming platform. About half of the eleven screens on our iPhone are filled with games. We love ‘em! However, looking at the top selling games, we are deeply disturbed … Skee-Ball, Fling!, Stick-Fu, Rock Band, Doodle Jump, Frogger, Pocket God, Backbreaker Football … what is this garbage? Seriously folks, what are you thinking? These are the top games? BLECH!

Like we said, it freaking saddens us to see such nonsense grabbing your hard earned dollar. We think the problem is that with over 100,000 apps, it is simply too cumbersome to find good apps … yet alone, good iPhone games. But no worries … it’s all good. Stick with KRAPPS as we take you to the end of the rainbow and deliver iPhone gaming gold. Today’s journey includes a couple of awesome games that can only be described as KRAPPilicious.

As a preamble to reviewing these two games, it’s important to get yourself in the right frame of mind. So clear your thoughts … relax – inhale – exhale – then scream –> SHIT!

Monkey Sheep Poop Fight by In Context, Inc.

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Monkey Sheep Poop Fight is a lovely first-person shitter … errr … shooter game where the user selects their target (a monkey or a sheep) and pummels it with shit. The game is fairly basic with no real strategy involved … just throw shit at a sheep or monkey as fast as you can. The more you cover the monkey or sheep in shit, the higher you score. Pretty amazing shit! We found the best part of the game is the fact that the monkey and sheep move. These are no ordinary stationary targets like in Skee-Ball … boring. Nope, the addition of moving targets make Monkey Sheep Poop Fight freaking brilliant and certainly deserving to be a Top Paid App.

Furious George by McLean Consulting

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Furious-George-Art-FINAL You know that curiously loveable children’s book character … Curious George? Well guess what … he’s a pussy. Screw Curious George and while we’re at it … screw his creepy owner with the yellow hat. What you really need is Furious George … a caged ape who enjoys throwing his own shit at Homo sapiens. In Furious George, the game, this pissed-off primate slings shit at you like a fully automatic Uzi assault rifle. Your job is to avoid the George’s flying feces. If you dodge enough monkey manure, you’ll be awarded with rocks … which you can then use to throw back at this little bastard. Seriously, why the hell would we want to make some Doodle jump, when we can get into a flying fecal fight with a badass baboon?

LOL … see the shit you would’ve missed by not reading KRAPPS? Yeah, we know … what a bunch of BS!

November 2, 2009 | Filed Under Games | 1 Comment 

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