Hollywood Hospital – Time Management Meets Tinseltown [iPhone Game Review]

(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)

Oh noes!  The rich and famous have been afflicted with a strange virus, turning them into caricatures from famous horror and action movies.  It’s up to you and your crackerjack team of healthcare professionals to render treatment and turn these Hollywood Horrors back into Hollywood Hotties in Hollywood Hospital for iPhone [iTunes $0.99].  And, if you’re good enough, you’ll bank some cash along the way.

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Released last month by Spacehopper Studios and Zed Worldwide, S.A., this unique time management game incorporates several mini-games into the flow which keeps the action hopping as you juggle multiple patients who expect the best treatment without delay.  In fact, they have no problem storming out if you’re taking too long attending to their needs.

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Each of the dozen or so characters has a hilarious malady which corresponds to a particular Hollywood feature.  In the first rounds, there’s a Gorgon who needs her serpentine hair trimmed before her closeup, Rambone, who needs a few stitches and the Zombie chick who just needs a slap of reality to fix her brain-eating ways.

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At each level, you are given the opportunity to spend some money and upgrade various elements, like adding an extra doctor or putting in cushier waiting room chairs.  Each improvement allows you to treat more patients more quickly and earn even more cash on the next level.  I found each upgrade to be quite the return on investment.

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As you clear through stages, additional wings are added to your hospital facility, giving you the ability to treat more varied conditions.  Keep an eager eye out for the paparazzi, though.  They’d like nothing better than to catch a star in an unflattering light.  Keep them away and you’ll earn some extra points with your patients.

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One unique aspect of the game is the ability to "chain" actions.  So, once you learn the routine that each patient follows, you can quickly set up each of their stops, freeing you to keep tabs on the whole operation and the mini-games vs. micro-managing each little step.

Currently on sale for 99 cents [iTunes], this game has plenty of entertainment value even at its regular price of $1.99.

 

June 19, 2010 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | 4 Comments 

Taito Corp. Launches Seven Space Invaders-Themed Utility Apps, All Free

Gotta love TAITO Corporation! Despite these folks being so old that they fart dust … they have fully embraced the iPhone platform.

Check this … TAITO, the original sellers of Space Invaders back in 1978, have brought their retro magic to the iPhone. No were not talking about  the excellent Space Invaders iPhone games … we’re talking FREE Space Invaders-themed utility apps. Think calculator, flashlight, battery meter, etc. … those boring apps that get released by the thousands and can be described as “same shit, different day”. However today the shit is different … the clever peeps at TAITO have brilliantly extended their Space Invaders brand to FREE line of utility apps …

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Space Invaders Clock [iTunes FREE] – each minute an alien is blown up
Space Invaders Battery Meter [iTunes FREE]
Space Invaders Business Card [iTunes FREE]
Space Invaders Calculator [iTunes FREE]
Space Invaders Flashlight [iTunes FREE]
Space Invaders Memory Status [iTunes FREE]
Space Invaders Timer [iTunes FREE] – perfect for cooking ramen    

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Now these apps aren’t exactly the greatest thing since Shazam or Tap Tap Revenge, however considering the FREE price tag and the uber-cool Space Invaders theme, they are all good (although the clock would be even sicker if TAITO updated it with an alarm).

Of the seven apps, our favorite is the Space Invaders Business Card which allows users to make custom cards. These business cards can then be exchanged with other users via a Bluetooth connection … which is cool, but we’d love to see some Bump technology integrated into the app for a more universal transfer method.

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Once you collect contact information from other Space Invaders Business Card users, phone calls and emails can be launched directly from within the app … and when you tap on a Twitter name, the app displays the contact’s most recent tweets.

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So hopefully these Space Invader utility apps are a start of a new trend. The App Store sure could use some more wicked cross-over apps like Doodle Jump Tip Calculator or Pocket God Sex Positions … we would love to see those cute little pygmies demonstrate oral, face to face and rear entry positions. 

June 15, 2010 | Filed Under Games, News, Utilities | 2 Comments 

Apps Gone FREE Or On Big Sale – World Cup Soccer Edition

soccerfan-butt With the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa upon us (yeah it’s a mouthful – but that’s the official name), developers are taking advantage of the worldwide insanity to promote their soccer / football related iPhone apps. There are a ton of price drop and some awesome savings to be had. We spent our entire Friday night (we know … how pathetic) checking out  every soccer / football deal and below is our “best of” list. And since we are saving our pennies for the new iPhone 4, all of our selections are either FREE or an affordable 99 cents. Enjoy the World Cup … but keep the urine bag throwing to a minimum.

LED Soccer – was $0.99, now FREE [iTunes] : an old school classic dating back to 1979. This retro-style game has been recreated by touchGrove to perfection … throw on some AC/DC for the full 1979-effect. Deal is good today only!

Magnetic Sports Soccer – was $3.99, now FREE [iTunes]: the original version is older than the aforementioned LED Soccer … actually it’s so old it farts dust … but what the hell, it’s FREE. Not sure how long this sale lasts, so jump on it quick!

Coin Soccer – was $0.99, now FREE [iTunes]: this one is a turn-based game that is really pretty fun to play … it was featured in Apple’s “Hot New Games” classification, hooray! Coin Soccer won’t cost you any coin, but only for this weekend.

USAChant – was $0.99, now FREE [iTunes]: not exactly a soccer app, but good for any global sporting if you’re a die-hard Yankee … it just chants “USA, USA, USA” … would be cooler if it farted in between chants. FREE today only, hurry!

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These next two iPhone games are not free, but at 99 cents, they represent an 85% savings which in our opinion is a helluv a deal. These are two of the best soccer / football games in the App Store from two of the best publishers. If you can only pick one to buy, dig a bit deeper in your couch and find some spare change … both apps rock!

FIFA World Cup – was $4.99, now $0.99 [iTunes]: published by EA and at it’s lowest price ever … EA deals don’t get any better than this … just do it. Sale price valid this weekend only – like we said … just do it.

Real Soccer 2010 – was $4.99, now $0.99 [iTunes]: we played Fake Soccer 2010 and without a doubt, Real Soccer 2010 is way better … published by Gameloft, the $0.99 price is good until June 16, so you have four days of couch digging to come up with the coin.

Bonus round … admittedly 110% not related to any of the above, but just in case you ever wonder how pregnant you are …How Pregnant Am I – was $4.99, now FREE [iTunes].

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June 12, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Games, News | 4 Comments 

Truckers Delight: Episode 1 – Um, Yeah, Wow, Um, Hey [iPhone Game Review]

(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)

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Released just a couple of weeks ago by Mobigame, Truckers Delight: Episode 1 [iTunes $0.99  – on sale, was $2.99], would appear to have an unorthodox genesis. First, there was an electro pop song by Third Side Records artist Lionel Flairs. This was followed by a much-viewed, 8-bit style animated YouTube video by Jérémie Périn which instantly reminded me of the annual Spike & Mike’s Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation. If all of the segments of the video were given the app treatment, there’d be another 3 or 4 episodes coming your way though most of the later imagery wouldn’t pass the AppStore approval process. If you seek out the video, don’t say I didn’t warn you. [editor’s note – click here to view video … Tim warned you!]

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But, back to Episode 1, where the player, as the intrepid Trucker, pursues, as the name suggests, some Delight in the form of Alpha Chick, a buxom blonde in a hot red car. When you catch up to her, you get extra points for bumping her from behind. You need to avoid the other vehicles on the road, though, since they slow you down and you only have so much time to pass through each checkpoint. Particularly bothersome is the biker who inexplicably is able to divert your much larger vehicle off the side of the road. Strike him just right, however, and he meets an untimely end.

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Make sure you keep an eye out for the power up cubes as well. One of them gives you the extra power called Mr. Slurp, a big ol’ long tongue that can be used to enhance your, um, game play. Just make sure you keep your eyes on the road!

While the style faithfully reproduces the look of the video, the gameplay itself is pretty basic. Pedal to the metal, checkpoint to checkpoint, powerups along the way. One interesting twist to the visuals is that at some points along the road you encounter hills that obstruct your view of the traffic up ahead. This adds a bit of challenge as you dodge and weave at the last seconds.

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Normally priced at $2.99, the game is just 99 cents through Sunday, June 6 [iTunes]. The game appears to be very popular in Paraguay, for some reason.

 

June 5, 2010 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | Leave a Comment 

Pocket God Developers Are Obnoxious Do-Gooders

Last night Pocket God [iTunes $0.99] launched their one millionth update called … Crack Is Wack. Ok … it wasn’t Pocket God’s one millionth update, but it certainly seems that way … we stopped counting after thirty.

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Crack Is Wack introduces a new god power that allows players to crack the ground underneath a pygmy. You can then drag the pygmies into the crack and be transported to an underground hellhole full of lava, bats and giant demons. Once inside this lava paradise, a new mini-game initiates called “The Runs”.

There’s some other cool stuff in the Crack Is Wack update as well … including the ability to download all in-app purchases (normally priced at 99 cents each) for FREE …

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OOOPS! Well, at least we know the Pocket God developers are class acts … employing the “honesty is the best policy” no matter what the circumstance. LOL … freaking do-gooders … turn down that obnoxious halo.

(via @Clambake01 … who is busily taking advantage of this bug)

May 26, 2010 | Filed Under Games, News | 8 Comments 

Emo Kill Lets Users Kill Spooky Kids With Sharp Objects

emo-kids They wear skinny jeans, tight t-shirts and black Converse. Their hair is an integral part of the ensemble … straightened, dyed black and long bangs covering one eye.  They are hypersensitive, introverted and angst-ridden … depression, self-injury and suicide are also common attributes.

What are we talking about? Those not-so-typical teens generally known as “emo” … who live by the mantra … AVOID HAPPINESS (happiness is a cardinal sin in the emo culture)!

So what better way to honor those spooky kids with scars on their wrists than with an iPhone game … Emo Kill.

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Emo love to cut with anything!
Help them to die with this nice game!

The Emo Kill app contains two games. In Blades Rain, users try to kill the emo character by cutting him to death with falling razors. Oh, but watch out for the descending girls since presumably they represent love and happiness … only mellon collie and the infinite sadness is awarded in Emo Kill.

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The Emo Shot game puts your sharpshooting skills to good use … blast an emo out of a cannon so that he lands on a razor blade and dies a sweet bloody death.

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Misery, death and a quality mission from Emo Kill – help emo kids die. Thanks Apple!

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May 25, 2010 | Filed Under Games | 11 Comments 

KRAPPS of Defense! – Crap Of Defense Review (Redundant)

(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)

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I’m calling bait and switch on the developer’s of Crap of Defense [iTunes].  See, they lead off their description with "This is worst game ever!" and then they deliver a solid & entertaining tower defense game.  Emphasis on the singular tower – you only get one tank cannon to face off against wave after wave of enemies delivered in a unique, hand-drawn style.

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Featuring two separate campaigns, the original and the recently added Winter Assault as well as two modes of play, Missions and Survival and three different levels of difficulty, this one will keep you entertained for quite a while.  That single cannon also gets an assist from an impressive number of battlefield power-ups and special weaponry types that show up from time to time.  If you’re falling behind, you’d better hope that an airstrike or armaggedon power-up becomes available to turn the tide in your favor.

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In the Missions mode, you are faced with a series of different goals – clearing each one unlocks the next dossier of destruction.  Depending on your skill and performance, you may also obtain achievement medals to proudly display.  Some of the missions are easy, but they quickly progress in difficulty.  Utilizing the special weapons and power-ups to their full potential can be the key to victory.

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In the Survival mode, you are tasked with dropping as many enemy units as possible before a certain number of them get through.  As you level up, the enemy assault ramps up along with you.  Fingers will have to fly furiously to stay in the game.

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Perhaps the hot weather here in AZ is the reason, but the Winter Assault campaign has become my favorite.  Each campaign offers different types of enemies, power-ups and goals.  The game also sports appropriately quirky sound effects and music that sounds like it belongs in a war-time newsreel.

 

May 22, 2010 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | Leave a Comment 

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