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We Are Growing Increasingly Uncomfortable With The iPad – Here’s Why …
<sorry, we had to go there … man-child mentality ON>
Menstrual cycle calendars for the iPhone (AuntFlo, FemDays, iRang, etc.) is one thing … but period trackers on the iPad take on a whole new meaning.
iPeriod For iPad … oh my – that’s a whole lot of feminine hygiene references going on in one iDevice for our comfort.
And as one YouTube user review puts it, “I will never look at a women with an iPad on her lap the same. Thanks Apple!”
</man-child mentality OFF>
Apple Bans Blatant Doodle Jump Ripoff, But Approves Another, Doodle Drop
While Apple celebrates (and profits) from an estimated 700,000 iPads bought on day one, they still can’t seem to get their shit together when it comes to consistent App Store approval policies.
On March 19 we reported that Apple approved the Doodle Jumper iPhone app. Notice the extra two letters “E” and “R”? Guess those two letters were enough of a difference between Doodle Jump and Doodle JumpER for Apple to feel good about approving a blatant ripoff. Oh and of course the Doodler character in Doodle JumpER is blue with two legs … while the original Doodler is lime green and has four legs. Bravo Apple! Excellent attention to detail … way different apps and smart move approving JumpER.
Smart move? Uh … maybe not! Hindsight is 20/20 … within 24 hours of our report, justice prevailed with Apple removing Doodle JumpER from sale. WOOT!
If you’re not familiar with Doodle Jump [iTunes $0.99], you should be. It’s arguably the most successful iPhone game to date, published by the two-brother team, Igor and Marko Pusenjak, of Lima Sky. Doodle Jump has already surpassed $3 million in sales (a first for any Indie development house) and is one of the best App Store bargains ever.
So you would think after the JumpER mistake, Apple would have learned not to approve blatant Doodle Jump ripoffs. After all, Apple is no dummy … case in point, nearly 1 million iPads sold on day one. LOL … no dummy? … yeah right —> Doodle Drop.
Very original, eh? “I don’t jump, I drop!” … yeah, of course you do, dickhead. The folks at Drop even lifted Doodle Jump’s tagline idea, “Insanely Addictive!”, with their grammatically challenged “Ultimate Addictive!” derivative… exclamation point included.
Doodler character … all good … both lime green, have a snout and wear a green striped shirt. But of course, the trump card … Drop only has two legs.
Graphics? Yes! A round of graph paper and booster springs for all – it’s the cool thing to do.
But what bothers us the most is the overnight success of Drop. Released on Friday, April 2nd … in less than 48 hours Drop broke into the Top 100 Overall Paid Apps. Achieving this ranking means Drop’s developer is making some decent money … profiting from Lima Sky’s success. Since Doodle Jump is constantly being updated, it would be a safe assumption that Lima Sky released a new game … one that drops down, instead of jumps up. Heck … the name, Doodler character and game graphics look just about the same … so unsuspecting buyers are likely to get suckered.
As we previously stated, Apple seemingly doesn’t care to protect copyright holders, thus it’s up to the individual owner to complain. However it would behoove Apple to avoid biting the hand that feeds them … especially when that hand delivered over $3 million in sales and $1 million directly into Apple’s mouth.
Steve Wozniak Waiting Overnight In Line For An iPad [includes pictures]
Ever since appearing on Dancing With The Stars, we have a new found respect for Steve Wozniak. Screw the co-founded Apple thing … or the US Festival … or contributing to the personal computer revolution … The Woz danced the Tango in competition with a pulled hamstring and a fracture in his foot – that shit is IMPRESSIVE!
Aside from having the balls to compete in something totally out of his element on national television, what we also really love about Steve Woz is that he’s totally cool, likeable and approachable – which is very refreshing since so many peeps of fame these days are arrogant pricks. Take for instance the present moment … Friday night – April 2, 2010 … Where’s Woz? He’s camped outside the Apple Store inside the Valley Fair Mall in Santa Clara, CA. Woz will be there all night … just like the other hardcore MacHeads … waiting to become a day one proud owner of the iPad when they go on sale Saturday at 9:00AM PST.
We’re sure Woz could’ve used his “in the biz” connections to secure his iPad … but dude doesn’t roll like that. In a recent Newsweek interview, Woz stated that he pre-ordered a few iPads and will be waiting in line overnight to pick them up … just for fun. LOL … that is sick. A technology industry rock star, just chillin’ in line with the general public, waiting to become an early adopter … gotta love it!
The Woz showed up to wait in line around 6:00PM PST … greeting his fans, signing autographs, showcasing his $2 bills and playing his favorite video game, Tetris, on a Nintendo Game Boy (what, no Tetris iPhone app?).
Wearing his special necklace which reminds him that he follows all laws of physics, Woz is comfortably seated #4 in line, after Jason and Annette Slack-Moehrle and Parth Dhebar (who runs an iPhone/iPad app review site, Simple-Reviews.com, be sure to check it out).
Woz claims he will be pulling an all-nighter and skip any type of shut-eye (see, told you he was a badass). Since sleep is overrated when waiting in an overnight iPad line … help will be arriving at 4:00AM PST. Mr. Dhebar has arranged for coffee and doughnuts to be delivered to all the folks waiting in line … atta boy Parth, save us a maple bar!
Oh … and thank you Woz for the too cool autograph! We’ll be framing that puppy and hanging it over the mantel at Casa de KRAPPS. We owe you big time, so if you ever want to upgrade your wardrobe, drop us a line and we’ll hook you up with da kine KRAPPS T-Shirt.
Good luck to all you crazy overnighting, early-adopting, iPad-waiting MacHeads … come 10:00AM PST, put the damn iPad down and GET SOME SLEEP!
7-Piece LEGO iPhone Stand – Even Appeals To Mechanically Challenged
Meet Chris Harrison. He’s a husband and a father … dreams in XHTML 1.1 + CSS and is a fan of comics, Apple, graphic design and web development. He loves WordPress, bacon and typography … watches Lost, attends SXSWi … and is addicted to caffeine and his iPhone. Chris is pretty much your typical geek … with one exception that gives him uber-geek status … dude is a LEGO ninja.
Chris was the guy who made the epic Star Wars LEGO iPhone AT-Dock … an insane display of creativity, mechanical ability and ninja LEGO building skills. Some of his other LEGO iPhone works include a Little Green Army Men dock, a self-supporting horizontal dock and numerous other killer iPhone docks and stands.
Although we’re fans of Chris’ work with colorful interlocking plastic bricks … we always felt he was mocking us. It’s like … “Ha, Ha – look at me – I’m a badass LEGO ninja – I have a Star Wars iPhone dock – you can’t have it cuz you suck and can’t build one” … seriously the world of LEGO can get pretty complicated and to replicate any of Chris’ work is virtually impossible for us common non-LEGO geek folk.
UNTIL TODAY …
For whatever reason, Chris has been in touch with his minimalism side and recently introduced an iPhone stand built out of … count ‘em … SEVEN LEGO PIECES! Since we are not mechanically inclined and pretty much suck at building stuff (don’t laugh – we can hit a curve ball – can you?) … we HEART this delicious 7-Piece McNugget.
Since we live by the “Keep It Simple, Stupid” principle, the 7-Piece is right in our wheelhouse and preferred over Chris’ other gaudy work. Sure seven yellow pieces of LEGOs might not exactly be eye candy … but it’s what’s on the inside that counts. And when you consider price, time and effort … what’s not to love about this seven piece LEGO goodness?
To create your own 7-piece LEGO iPhone stand, click here building instructions.
iCade Turns Your iPad Into A Retrogaming Arcade Cabinet – For “Reals”
Ok, so Steve Job’s love child … the iPad … is launching in two days. We’ll admit, we’re getting pretty excited and will be doing the “overnight camping out in line” thing to ensure we are iPad owners from Day 1. However, it wasn’t until today that we got fully pumped for the iPad … reason why … the folks at ThinkGeek have just announced a new iPad accessory and application that will become available April 3 (iPad launch day) …
iCade – The iPad Arcade Cabinet
How freaking brilliant is this? For only $149.99 (cost of the cabinet – app is free), you can turn your iPad into a mini arcade cabinet … or as ThinkGeek puts it …
How cool would it be to slide your iPad into a desktop-sized arcade cabinet and rock it old school with some Pac-Man or Space Invaders?
More arousing details from ThinkGeek …
To use the iCade, gently slide the iPad into the docking cradle. The docking cradle uses a standard 30 pin connector to link the iPad to the professional-grade arcade controls. Once the iPad is in place, launch the iCade App (available free in the App Store April 3rd) and it’s game on!
Screw eBooks and HD videogames … iCade is the real only reason to buy an iPad. Simply put … it doesn’t get any more awesome than this!
For more details, including product specifications, and to order your very own iCade, visit the iCade page at ThinkGeek.
Hey … just keeping it “REAL”. Don’t shoot the messenger. If you need to FFFFUUUU someone, then FFFFUUUU ThinkGeek.
Apple Recognizes Need To Get Your Freak On – Nudity In The App Store
As we began reporting back in June 2009, Apple has a zero-tolerance policy for porn and nudity on the App Store. Any application found with revealing nipple or crotch-shots, have been nailed with Apple’s ban hammer :
06/25/09 – Hottest Girls … 07/01/09 – BeautyMeter … 07/30/09 – theXchange … 08/21/09 – Check myHottie … 09/15/09 – My X Girlfriend … 01/21/10 – forChan
Currently it’s not just pornography and nudes that are not tolerated … all overtly sexual applications are not permitted on the App Store. Well, except for Playboy, Sports Illustrated, FHM, Maxim and some others … long (idiotic) story, click here to read more details.
However, if you still insist on viewing those nipple and crotch-shots (and refuse to use the Safari app) … we have good news! If you look hard enough, nudity can indeed be found on the App Store … been there for over a year and a half. For your nipple-viewing pleasure,
Art Envi, has been for sale since August 2008.
Of course Art Envi is not the only Apple-approved skin app … the Art app contains nudity as well and a lot more of it. Hell, the developer is so naked-friendly, he even created an option enabling the user to show only nude images … eliminating clutter within the application.
Here’s another one that screams BOOBIES … the Artistic Nudes apps (we love the disclaimer … naked dead people, huh?).
And if simple nipple viewing is not enough … there are four interactive slider puzzles that might provide a thrill … Fabulous Nude Paintings Puzzle – Classic Nude Paintings Puzzle – Bathing Nudes Paintings Puzzle – Modigliani Nudes Puzzle.
So you see … it’s not all puritan in the App Store. Apple does recognize the need to get your freak on. Grant it, these are famous 20th Century paintings … but hey, at least we know Apple has a soft spot for artistic nudes and there’s a method to their madness … leveraging the sex sells methodology to promote fine art to the masses.
AppAdvice Reviews The Buzz Aldrin iPhone App – Gets It All Wrong
Buzz Aldrin is a certified bad ass. Dude was the second man to walk on the moon (dammit Buzz, you should’ve laid down scissors, not rock), is a mechanical engineer, a retired Air Force pilot … not to mention … produced a computer strategy game, recorded a rap song with Snoop Dogg, (and others), had a Disney Pixar character named after him and is closing in on one million Twitter followers.
On Monday, March 22, Buzz added another accomplishment to his list of bad assness … his very own iPhone app … Buzz Aldrin Portal To Science And Space Exploration [iTunes $1.99].
The folks at AppAdvice did a fairly good job of reviewing Buzz’s new app. They highlight the original content and insights by Buzz on space initiatives including blogs, journals and twitter feeds. The various news feeds, podcasts, NASA streaming TV, photo galleries, videos and ton of other really cool space and science stuff. For a mere $1.99, this app packs a huge amount of content and is visually stunning.
But as we mentioned, AppAdvice did a FAIRLY good job. Our beef with the review is that they failed to cover the best part of the Buzz Aldrin app. Its most valuable content … the stuff people really want … arguably Buzz’s biggest bad assery accomplishment to date …
Exclusive behind the scenes coverage of Buzz’s experience on
Dancing With The Stars
Walked on the moon – MEH! Air Force Pilot – MEH! Laid down sick beats with Snoop – MEH! All these accomplishments pale in comparison to killing the cha-cha-cha with his dance partner, Ashly Costa. Think about it, dude is 80 FREAKING YEARS OLD and floats around the dance floor like a delicate butterfly (“it looked like you still had your moon boots on” … screw you Bruno) … the ultimate definition of a bad ass.
$1.99 … money well spent for Buzz’s exclusive look into Dancing With The Stars. That’s what we’re talking about and shockingly what AppAdvice missed.
Oh and don’t forget – Monday nights on ABC … VOTE BUZZ!
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