Ever hear of Bump? No … we’re not talking about the 1970s dance fad of bumping hips … we’re talking iPhone app. Bump is a very cool data swapping application released in March 2009. To use Bump, simply hold your iPhone and “bump” hands with another Bump user (sort of like a “fist bump” or “knuckles”) to instantly exchange contact information, photos or even become Facebook friends.
Recently the developers of Bump opened up their iPhone API … in non-geek terms that means anyone can now use the mobile data swapping technology in their own apps. For example, the PayPal iPhone app is equipped with Bump technology … you can now pay someone money just by banging iPhones.
Bump really is awesome … but we know what you’re thinking … exchanging phone numbers, photos or even paying someone money = BORING! Well whatever, let us introduce you to a more titillating application powered by Bump … BOINK.
Categorized as a social networking app, BOINK is the latest and greatest in high tech hook-up. With BOINK, users are assured to find their ideal sexmate … just input your sexual preferences, BOINK with potential mates and find out if you’re a match. As the app’s descriptions says …
No more wasting time with partners that don’t like the same things you do or share similar fetishes. Now you can know what you are getting into before you even unzip your pants.
Since sexual preferences play an integral role of finding the ideal booty call, BOINK has 6 categories of bedroom bliss … Kissing, Foreplay, Oral, Sex Style, Positions and Fetishes. Within each category, there are a number of “activities” which the user rates … Oral activities include giving, receiving and anilingus … while Fetishes include candle wax, whips and urination.
LMAO, people boinking iPhones to solicit intercourse … oh my, what has Apple done?!? One word of advice … a strong like for the whole urination fetish thing – probably won’t get you many boinks … better off seeking a pee-pee partner on Craigslist.
When we started our site in 2008, we purchased the upgraded model which includes three Perez Hilton Cards. Redeeming these cards gives us a free pass to publish trashy sleazy celebrity gossip articles … but only three of them throughout the lifetime of KRAPPS. Since we do have some integrity, our trashy sleazy celebrity gossip news will be iPhone related. Today we cash in our first Perez Hilton Card … sorry.
It appears that former Wham! frontman, George Michael, is quite the iPhone power user … especially when it comes to “social” apps. Pictured below as “Back for Wood” (dude, come on … can you pick a cheesier user name?) in the Grindr iPhone application, Mr. Michael put his iPhone to good use while on a sold-out concert tour in Australia. Using the Grindr app, Mr. Michael was setting up dates from his hotel room at the Park Hyatt Sydney hotel. Sounds like an excellent endorsement opportunity for Grindr and perhaps a step in the right direction for Mr. “I Want Your Sex” … away from his public bathroom antics.
[via Pop Crunch]
Look, we get it. Your phone is ringing. And you’re totally awesome because you have the latest from Beyonce as a custom ringtone. You and a million other Beyonce fans (including Kanye West). A custom ringtone isn’t custom if everyone else has it and you still have to remember which contact each song is associated with. Total hassle … why bother?
Enter AutoRingtone PRO [iTunes]. You type … the app talks … in over 20 voices! You can have unique spoken Caller ID for every single one of your contacts and choose from a wide variety of voices including UK, USA, Male, Female, Robot, Space Alien or even synthesized singing voices, like T-Pain AutoTune-style! You’ll be the only one with that ringtone, for shizzle, my nizzle!
Hmmm … custom user-generated ringtones? Uh, this could get crazy cool … everything from professional to hilariously obscene!
>> “Hey baby, your phone is ringing. Your lovely wife is calling”
>> “Imma let you finish but your phone is ringing. Your home girl, Taylor, is calling”
>> “Batman, your phone is ringing. Robin is calling”
>> “Hey Pimp Daddy, your phone is ringing. Your number one sweetie is calling”
See that … the possibilities are endless. And check it … no censorship. Just select one of the 20+ voices … enter your name, the caller’s name and your email address … hit the create button … then retrieve your personalized ringtone by visiting AutoRingtone.com. Your ringtone generates in the following format:
YOUR NAME, your phone is ringing
CALLER NAME is calling
YOUR NAME, please answer the phone
AutoRingtone PRO is even holding a contest for the funniest ringtones. Just send them (info@NoTieSoftware.com) the ringtone file you created and you can win prizes like iPhone cases, earbuds, headsets, chargers, and more.
And some info for you techie geeks … not only are ringtones provided in the iPhone format (.m4r), but also .aiff – so people who use other phones (there are other phones?) can convert them for their device. Very freaking sweet!
AutoRingtone PRO is unlimited. Meaning if you have 10 contacts – you pay one price. 100 contacts? 1,000? … still the same low price. But heads up … the AutoRingtone PRO edition, which has 20+ voices (and counting), will be going up in price after the first update which will allow completely custom messages. Think “freestyle” – it speaks whatever you type, so like … “Dude, warning! Your mother-in-law is calling. DO NOT ANSWER THE FREAKING PHONE!”. So jump on this 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified app at the current low price of $1.99 in the iTunes App Store.
(update 12:15 p.m. PST: porn is a very subjective term. one’s artistic and tasteful nude is another’s filth. while Apple is not 100% clear on their nudity policy, they are adamant about a porn free App Store. we added an additional image at the end of this article from theXchange app which should clearly convey pornography … while the image is censored, the blackout area contains male genitalia … couple that with the image’s “Hot Wanted” statement … it’s clear, Apple is certainly not achieving their goal.)
As a preface to this article, we would like to remind you of Apple spokesman Tom Neumayer’s, profound statement in response to nude photos found in the Hottest Girls app:
“Apple will not distribute applications that contain
inappropriate content, such as pornography”
Fair enough Tom … thank you for making that perfectly clear. So what happens just a few days later … BeautyMeter and its infamous 15-year-old topless girl makes headlines. Hmmm, so much for Tom’s clarity.
Now flash forward to today … July 30 … Tom – there you go again, shittin’ us with your Apple will not distribute blah, blah, blah crap … nah, these are totally appropriate:
Welcome to theXchange … where user generated nudity, pornography, explicit language and anything else you can think of as sexually inappropriate content, is King!
So what is this place that resembles the movie Caligula? Well theXchange was released by Jim Young as a virtual nightclub. People enter the club … chat with others, then attempt to earn and spend virtual coins to buy drinks or photos of other club members (gee, wonder what kind of pictures are exchanged in theXchange … puppy dogs and lollipops of course … but at least their over 15 years of age).
Oh and of course, the “House Rules” … NO NUDE PHOTOS ALLOWED. Thanks for making that crystal clear Jim … man, you are just as money as Tim from Apple.
But here’s the best part … theXchange launched July 1 … same day the BeautyMeter app was yanked from the App Store due to its user generated nude photos. You would think that a similar user generated content-based app born July 1 (BeautyMeter D-Day) would know better and make an extra effort to police its uploads … but no … theXchange didn’t learn squat. But Jim, don’t feel bad … Apple also flunked that course – however to Apple’s credit, they make a helluv a lot more money than you and can afford the “F”.
[thanks to our boy @ungeheier for the tip]
Yesterday, one of the strangest, most bizarre applications arrived in the iPhone App Store … the flyChat app. It has something to do with sending messages to random strangers via buzzing flies within flyChat’s unique social network. Weird stuff … which we haven’t took the time to quite digest (“I know an old lady who swallowed a fly –
I don’t know why she swallowed a fly” – it’s a kiddy story, come on, never heard of it?). If you want to check more of flyChat out, TechCrunch and Mashable have good write ups … and of course you can visit flyChat’s site where you’ll find detailed (way geeky) diagrams about this messenger fly thing.
Now the point of this story is not to discuss flyChat … but to share the equally bizarre, strange and disturbing flyChat promo video. Again, not really sure WTF they are talking about … but the Fly In A Suit character is freaking nuts and the Old Deaf Man plays an equally entertaining supporting actor role. Crazy funny shit from flyChat! …
HELLO – McFLY?!? (it’s a movie, come on, never heard of it?)
update: 1:00 p.m. PST – BeautyMeter developer has posted a message on their site indicating they have cleaned up their database of nude images. They have also increased measures to guard against future user-generated nudity. It also sounds like they identified an individual (via the UUID) and will be taking “further steps” (click image for full view).
Yesterday’s BeautyMeter article resulted in quite the firestorm. Media outlets such as Fox News, Wired, Gizmodo, DownloadSqaud and others, carried the “Nude 15-Year-Old Pictures” story … as well as social media activity from Digg, Twitter and more.
Today at approximately 12:20 a.m. PST (24 hours after we broke the story), Apple removed BeautyMeter from the App Store … however previous downloads are still fully functional – including access to the infamous 15-year-old nude image seen below (image taken at time of writing, at 12:30 a.m. PST).
It seems yesterday was not the first time BeautyMeter had its “issues”. The app launched January 17 and the developers, Braun Software, began approving user generated nude images for public viewing. Then in mid-April, the devs changed their policy, no more nudity. Of course this caused a huge backlash among the rabid middle-aged perverts as they voiced their displeasure via the App Store User Ratings.
One month later, the perverted old guys (and comment #113’s wife – see above) rejoiced … BeautyMeter boobs were back!
We’re not exactly sure why Braun Software banned the once acceptable nudity from their app in mid-April … perhaps it was in preparation of submitting Version 1.6 update for approval (kind of like cleaning up shop before the inspector pays a visit), which was accepted by Apple on April 27. Strange behavior by Braun Software.
So the question remains … does Apple allow nudity in the App Store???
If the answer is NO nudity, then why does Apple make available a 17+ rating specifically stating Frequent/Intense Nudity? … why do apps like TOP100 specifically advertise topless models coming soon?
If the answer is YES nudity, then why would apps like Hottest Girls and BeautyMeter (sans the 15-year-old naked girl) be banned?
Obviously Apple needs to make a decision on their nudity policy and stick with it … indecisions and inconsistencies in business are an absolute killer. We think Sir Winston Churchill summarizes the current state of Apple the best with his 1939 “quotation”:
I cannot forecast to you the action of Apple.
It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma
(update: July 2 at 2:00 a.m. PST – click here for details)
Last week, a sexy bikini chick app made quite the splash in iPhone App World. The Hottest Girls application made Apple history by becoming the first iPhone app to contain nudity. But that was only the beginning of the iPhone Spice drama, requiring us to cover (no pun intended) the Hottest Girls saga in two articles (article #1 – article #2). In summary … the developer pulled the app due to overwhelming sales, then Apple said bullshit – they actually removed the app, then Apple shut down all the developer’s apps, then the developer closed his web site seemingly hiding from angry paying customers (does Apple refund their money?) … LOL, gotta love Apple drama.
Apple even released a statement via spokesman Tom Neumayer saying … “Apple will not distribute applications that contain inappropriate content, such as pornography.” So life goes on … the App Store went back to being non-nude and porno-free.
But life isn’t simple – many questions remain. TechCrunch ran an excellent article which describes how developers rate their own apps when submitting to Apple for approval. The rating matrix clearly shows that an app can contain Frequent/Intense nudity and still be approved by Apple. So then why did Apple remove the Hottest Girls app with its topless nudity? – the app was rated properly as 17+ … what’s the problem?
Clearly Apple is completely whack when it comes to their App Ratings and Approvals … LOL at Steve Jobs boasting that the App Store is “Revolutionary” … uh NO dude – considering the thousands of KRAPPS we must avoid to find a decent app, the store is a freaking joke.
Nudity – Shmoodity … you think with Apple’s latest swift actions, the App Store is now “safe” from nudity? Think again! Let us introduce you to our little friend … the BeautyMeter app by German-based Braun Software.
BeautyMeter is one of those “Do You Think I’m Hot” rating apps, popular among teens and middle-aged male perverts. The user uploads a picture of themselves … the image is broadcasted via the app … other app users rate the picture from Fugly to Hot. Similar apps include Hot Or Not, PhotoKast, YoHottie … but with one BIG difference … BeautyMeter contains NUDITY and this nudity is approved by Braun Software as supposedly they review every image prior to releasing it into the app for public view.
What’s whack about BeautyMeter is that there is no nudity warning in the App Rating … it simply states Mature/Suggestive Themes. Hey Braun Software – Apple provides a convenient nudity rating – use it … freaking dumbasses!
So does Apple allow nudity in the App Store? Well they say they don’t and act all pious banishing topless chick app Hottest Girls … but when you dig a little deeper, there’s been nudity in the App Store for nearly 6 months when BeautyMeter first launched on January 17.
Now let’s play the “Pretend You’re Steve Jobs And Make The Executive Decision” game:
Question #1 – Steve, can we distribute an app in which you could rate a 16-year-old’s body on a scale of 1 to 5?
Your Answer - WTF kind of a question is that?!? Get away from me you piece of krapp
middle-age male pervert … you’re FIRED!
Bravo … great answer … but guess what – it’s Wrong!
Question #2 – Steve, can we allow underage completely nude pictures in the App Store?
Your Answer – WTF kind of a question is that?!? Get away from me you piece of krapp
middle-age male pervert … you’re FIRED!
Again – bravo … that’s another great answer … but guess what – it’s Wrong!
NICE Apple … once again, your Revolutionary App Store never cease to amaze us! And even if Miss United States faked her Age 15 description, why did Braun Software approve the image for public view? And why didn’t Apple respond to the user comment below – seems like a pretty significant claim worthy of at least a quick peak.
So what’s Apple’s final policy … To Nude or Not To Nude? Yeah, that is the question and it beats the hell out of us. One thing is certain … Apple really needs to slow the heck down with their approval process, implement some serious quality control measures and straight forward policies … because at this point, Apple is making our job way too easy.