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- Crazy Frogs Jump For Their Lives – Dizzypad Game Review
- Fart Smeller iPhone App – Enough Said
- Get Your Shit Together Apple – Hooters App Approved, Banned, Re-Approved, Re-Banned
- “This Is My Gift To All Current And Future iPhone Users” – Fart Dialer
- Determined To Bring Sexy Back, Developer Forced To Publish ‘I Love Burgers’ Fetish App
- Overtly Sexual Apps Return – Apple Fails To Enforce New Policy?
- Recap: Week Of March 1 – plus App Star Awards 2nd Edition
- Go Ask Alice: Alice’s Adventures – Rabbit Hole Of Death iPhone Game
- Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz iPhone App – Why Didn’t We Think Of That?
- Star Walk App – Because Having The Entire Universe On Your iPhone Is Freakin’ Cool
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AutoRingtone PRO – Because The Same Old Musical Ringtones Are So 2000-And-Late!
Look, we get it. Your phone is ringing. And you’re totally awesome because you have the latest from Beyonce as a custom ringtone. You and a million other Beyonce fans (including Kanye West). A custom ringtone isn’t custom if everyone else has it and you still have to remember which contact each song is associated with. Total hassle … why bother?
“Imma let you finish, but AutoRingtone is the best ringtone of all time!”
Enter AutoRingtone PRO [iTunes]. You type … the app talks … in over 20 voices! You can have unique spoken Caller ID for every single one of your contacts and choose from a wide variety of voices including UK, USA, Male, Female, Robot, Space Alien or even synthesized singing voices, like T-Pain AutoTune-style! You’ll be the only one with that ringtone, for shizzle, my nizzle!
Hmmm … custom user-generated ringtones? Uh, this could get crazy cool … everything from professional to hilariously obscene!
>> “Hey baby, your phone is ringing. Your lovely wife is calling”
>> “Imma let you finish but your phone is ringing. Your home girl, Taylor, is calling”
>> “Batman, your phone is ringing. Robin is calling”
>> “Hey Pimp Daddy, your phone is ringing. Your number one sweetie is calling”
See that … the possibilities are endless. And check it … no censorship. Just select one of the 20+ voices … enter your name, the caller’s name and your email address … hit the create button … then retrieve your personalized ringtone by visiting AutoRingtone.com. Your ringtone generates in the following format:
YOUR NAME, your phone is ringing
CALLER NAME is calling
YOUR NAME, please answer the phone
AutoRingtone PRO is even holding a contest for the funniest ringtones. Just send them (info@NoTieSoftware.com) the ringtone file you created and you can win prizes like iPhone cases, earbuds, headsets, chargers, and more.
And some info for you techie geeks … not only are ringtones provided in the iPhone format (.m4r), but also .aiff – so people who use other phones (there are other phones?) can convert them for their device. Very freaking sweet!
AutoRingtone PRO is unlimited. Meaning if you have 10 contacts – you pay one price. 100 contacts? 1,000? … still the same low price. But heads up … the AutoRingtone PRO edition, which has 20+ voices (and counting), will be going up in price after the first update which will allow completely custom messages. Think “freestyle” – it speaks whatever you type, so like … “Dude, warning! Your mother-in-law is calling. DO NOT ANSWER THE FREAKING PHONE!”. So jump on this 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified app at the current low price of $1.99 in the iTunes App Store.
New iPhone Porn App Discovered – theXchange
(update 12:15 p.m. PST: porn is a very subjective term. one’s artistic and tasteful nude is another’s filth. while Apple is not 100% clear on their nudity policy, they are adamant about a porn free App Store. we added an additional image at the end of this article from theXchange app which should clearly convey pornography … while the image is censored, the blackout area contains male genitalia … couple that with the image’s “Hot Wanted” statement … it’s clear, Apple is certainly not achieving their goal.)
As a preface to this article, we would like to remind you of Apple spokesman Tom Neumayer’s, profound statement in response to nude photos found in the Hottest Girls app:
“Apple will not distribute applications that contain
inappropriate content, such as pornography”
Fair enough Tom … thank you for making that perfectly clear. So what happens just a few days later … BeautyMeter and its infamous 15-year-old topless girl makes headlines. Hmmm, so much for Tom’s clarity.
Now flash forward to today … July 30 … Tom – there you go again, shittin’ us with your Apple will not distribute blah, blah, blah crap … nah, these are totally appropriate:
Welcome to theXchange … where user generated nudity, pornography, explicit language and anything else you can think of as sexually inappropriate content, is King!
So what is this place that resembles the movie Caligula? Well theXchange was released by Jim Young as a virtual nightclub. People enter the club … chat with others, then attempt to earn and spend virtual coins to buy drinks or photos of other club members (gee, wonder what kind of pictures are exchanged in theXchange … puppy dogs and lollipops of course … but at least their over 15 years of age).
Oh and of course, the “House Rules” … NO NUDE PHOTOS ALLOWED. Thanks for making that crystal clear Jim … man, you are just as money as Tim from Apple.
But here’s the best part … theXchange launched July 1 … same day the BeautyMeter app was yanked from the App Store due to its user generated nude photos. You would think that a similar user generated content-based app born July 1 (BeautyMeter D-Day) would know better and make an extra effort to police its uploads … but no … theXchange didn’t learn squat. But Jim, don’t feel bad … Apple also flunked that course – however to Apple’s credit, they make a helluv a lot more money than you and can afford the “F”.
[thanks to our boy @ungeheier for the tip]
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LMAO Video From FlyChat
Yesterday, one of the strangest, most bizarre applications arrived in the iPhone App Store … the flyChat app. It has something to do with sending messages to random strangers via buzzing flies within flyChat’s unique social network. Weird stuff … which we haven’t took the time to quite digest (“I know an old lady who swallowed a fly –
I don’t know why she swallowed a fly” – it’s a kiddy story, come on, never heard of it?). If you want to check more of flyChat out, TechCrunch and Mashable have good write ups … and of course you can visit flyChat’s site where you’ll find detailed (way geeky) diagrams about this messenger fly thing.
Now the point of this story is not to discuss flyChat … but to share the equally bizarre, strange and disturbing flyChat promo video. Again, not really sure WTF they are talking about … but the Fly In A Suit character is freaking nuts and the Old Deaf Man plays an equally entertaining supporting actor role. Crazy funny shit from flyChat! …
HELLO – McFLY?!? (it’s a movie, come on, never heard of it?)
Update – Apple Pulls BeautyMeter App With Nude 15-Year-Old
update: 1:00 p.m. PST – BeautyMeter developer has posted a message on their site indicating they have cleaned up their database of nude images. They have also increased measures to guard against future user-generated nudity. It also sounds like they identified an individual (via the UUID) and will be taking “further steps” (click image for full view).
Yesterday’s BeautyMeter article resulted in quite the firestorm. Media outlets such as Fox News, Wired, Gizmodo, DownloadSqaud and others, carried the “Nude 15-Year-Old Pictures” story … as well as social media activity from Digg, Twitter and more.
Today at approximately 12:20 a.m. PST (24 hours after we broke the story), Apple removed BeautyMeter from the App Store … however previous downloads are still fully functional – including access to the infamous 15-year-old nude image seen below (image taken at time of writing, at 12:30 a.m. PST).
It seems yesterday was not the first time BeautyMeter had its “issues”. The app launched January 17 and the developers, Braun Software, began approving user generated nude images for public viewing. Then in mid-April, the devs changed their policy, no more nudity. Of course this caused a huge backlash among the rabid middle-aged perverts as they voiced their displeasure via the App Store User Ratings.
One month later, the perverted old guys (and comment #113’s wife – see above) rejoiced … BeautyMeter boobs were back!
We’re not exactly sure why Braun Software banned the once acceptable nudity from their app in mid-April … perhaps it was in preparation of submitting Version 1.6 update for approval (kind of like cleaning up shop before the inspector pays a visit), which was accepted by Apple on April 27. Strange behavior by Braun Software.
So the question remains … does Apple allow nudity in the App Store???
If the answer is NO nudity, then why does Apple make available a 17+ rating specifically stating Frequent/Intense Nudity? … why do apps like TOP100 specifically advertise topless models coming soon?
If the answer is YES nudity, then why would apps like Hottest Girls and BeautyMeter (sans the 15-year-old naked girl) be banned?
Obviously Apple needs to make a decision on their nudity policy and stick with it … indecisions and inconsistencies in business are an absolute killer. We think Sir Winston Churchill summarizes the current state of Apple the best with his 1939 “quotation”:
I cannot forecast to you the action of Apple.
It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma
Nude 15-Year-Olds In The App Store? Yes There Is
(update: July 2 at 2:00 a.m. PST – click here for details)
Last week, a sexy bikini chick app made quite the splash in iPhone App World. The Hottest Girls application made Apple history by becoming the first iPhone app to contain nudity. But that was only the beginning of the iPhone Spice drama, requiring us to cover (no pun intended) the Hottest Girls saga in two articles (article #1 – article #2). In summary … the developer pulled the app due to overwhelming sales, then Apple said bullshit – they actually removed the app, then Apple shut down all the developer’s apps, then the developer closed his web site seemingly hiding from angry paying customers (does Apple refund their money?) … LOL, gotta love Apple drama.
Apple even released a statement via spokesman Tom Neumayer saying … “Apple will not distribute applications that contain inappropriate content, such as pornography.” So life goes on … the App Store went back to being non-nude and porno-free.
But life isn’t simple – many questions remain. TechCrunch ran an excellent article which describes how developers rate their own apps when submitting to Apple for approval. The rating matrix clearly shows that an app can contain Frequent/Intense nudity and still be approved by Apple. So then why did Apple remove the Hottest Girls app with its topless nudity? – the app was rated properly as 17+ … what’s the problem?
Clearly Apple is completely whack when it comes to their App Ratings and Approvals … LOL at Steve Jobs boasting that the App Store is “Revolutionary” … uh NO dude – considering the thousands of KRAPPS we must avoid to find a decent app, the store is a freaking joke.
Nudity – Shmoodity … you think with Apple’s latest swift actions, the App Store is now “safe” from nudity? Think again! Let us introduce you to our little friend … the BeautyMeter app by German-based Braun Software.
BeautyMeter is one of those “Do You Think I’m Hot” rating apps, popular among teens and middle-aged male perverts. The user uploads a picture of themselves … the image is broadcasted via the app … other app users rate the picture from Fugly to Hot. Similar apps include Hot Or Not, PhotoKast, YoHottie … but with one BIG difference … BeautyMeter contains NUDITY and this nudity is approved by Braun Software as supposedly they review every image prior to releasing it into the app for public view.
What’s whack about BeautyMeter is that there is no nudity warning in the App Rating … it simply states Mature/Suggestive Themes. Hey Braun Software – Apple provides a convenient nudity rating – use it … freaking dumbasses!
So does Apple allow nudity in the App Store? Well they say they don’t and act all pious banishing topless chick app Hottest Girls … but when you dig a little deeper, there’s been nudity in the App Store for nearly 6 months when BeautyMeter first launched on January 17.
Now let’s play the “Pretend You’re Steve Jobs And Make The Executive Decision” game:
Question #1 – Steve, can we distribute an app in which you could rate a 16-year-old’s body on a scale of 1 to 5?
Your Answer - WTF kind of a question is that?!? Get away from me you piece of krapp
middle-age male pervert … you’re FIRED!
Bravo … great answer … but guess what – it’s Wrong!
Question #2 – Steve, can we allow underage completely nude pictures in the App Store?
Your Answer – WTF kind of a question is that?!? Get away from me you piece of krapp
middle-age male pervert … you’re FIRED!
Again – bravo … that’s another great answer … but guess what – it’s Wrong!
NICE Apple … once again, your Revolutionary App Store never cease to amaze us! And even if Miss United States faked her Age 15 description, why did Braun Software approve the image for public view? And why didn’t Apple respond to the user comment below – seems like a pretty significant claim worthy of at least a quick peak.
So what’s Apple’s final policy … To Nude or Not To Nude? Yeah, that is the question and it beats the hell out of us. One thing is certain … Apple really needs to slow the heck down with their approval process, implement some serious quality control measures and straight forward policies … because at this point, Apple is making our job way too easy.
Boobies, Farts & Flashlights
January 16, 2009 was an interesting day in “App Land”. Two significant events took place that had app geeks buzzing … and could you really blame us app geeks for getting all hot and bothered? Come on – we’re talking about BOOBIES & FARTS – oh yeah, flashlights too.
BOOBIES
Recently an application called iBoobs was rejected by Apple on the grounds of “objectionable content”. This app allows users to jiggle a pair of women’s breasts. Click here for a demonstration on YouTube (it’s actually rather boring). The rejection was no surprise. The real surprise was the launch of Wobble. Reading the app’s description, Wobble is innocent enough:
Wobble is the only application that can make ANY part of your photo wobble like jelly. Bring photos to life and make parts of them bounce in realistic 3D.
Hmmm – ok – interesting. But of course sex sells and the developers know it, thus the demonstration video below (this one is actually not so boring):
FARTS & FLASHLIGHTS
Tweetie is a full-featured iPhone Twitter client. It’s a solid app that is 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified. So why are we spotlighting Tweetie? Well, Tweetie received an update … an extensive update: instapaper integration, landscape keyboard, link to StockTwits, ability to email @ or direct messages (which is really cool) and more. One of the subtle 
improvements (I use the term loosely) is the Popularity EnhancEr (PEE) – which means that in addition to a full-featured Twitter client, Tweetie is now a FART app, as well as a flashlight app … talk about value-added! Click here to read the developer’s explanation of PEE and why they decided to integrate Tweetie with fart and flashlight functionality (it’s actually a very funny read).
Yeah, pretty big deal as this is the first time fart functionality lingered (no pun intended) into a non-fart dedicated app … oh and almost forgot – flashlight too … gives a whole new meaning to “lighting one up”. Well this Tweetie PEE will probably blow up sales and race to the #1 spot – thus encouraging copy apps. I can see Shazam PEE, not only will Shazam recognize music, but correctly identify farts – kazoo, ripper, wet one, etc. Makes sense that the Zippo Lighter app should ignite farts. And of course the Air Sharing file storage app is just a no-brainer for a fart upgrade.
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