Mister M.

Title: Menstrual Calendar Apps
Category: Healthcare

Some jobs suck!

suckjobs4   suckjobs3 suckjobs5   untitled

Add this one to the list … the guy who has to apply creativity to menstruation and come up with a clever menstrual calendar name. So similar to Bud Light’s salute to Real Men Of Genius (Mr. Pro Football Coach Cord Carrier, Mr. Department Store Mannequin Dresser Upper, Mr. Bowling Shoe Giver Outter, etc.) … KRAPPS salutes Mr. Menstrual Calendar App Title Creator and recognizes your genius contributions to the App Store below:

Petals_Icon Petals >> iMensies_Icon iMensies >> Lady_Biz_Icon Lady Biz  >> iWoman_Icon iWoman

FemDays FemDays >> Ovulation Calendar Pro Ovulation Calendar Pro >> iLady Icon iLady

AuntFlo Icon AuntFlo >> Period Tracker_Icon Period Tracker >> xoCal - Calendar_Icon xoCal >> i-femion_Icon i-femion

Lady_Mate_Icon Lady Mate >> LoveForecast_Icon LoveForecast >> Woman Calendar Icon Woman Calendar

Surprisingly Mr. Menstrual Calendar App Title Creator missed these offerings: iFlow … Ladies’ Day … TOM (that Time Of Month) … Girl Trouble … Monthly Miracle … and of course – iRag. Geez, all this menstrual talk, I need a Motrin!

January 27, 2009 | Filed Under Health | 18 Comments 

How To Get Your Ass Kicked

Title: Respect My Authoriti!
Category: Lifestyle

RespectAuthoritiIcon Caution! Please note, this is a very powerful app and should be utilized carefully and  responsibly.

The purpose of this app is to give the user the respect they deserve. For RespectAuthoritiScreen example, if someone confronts you in a threatening manner, simply take out your iPhone, launch the Respect My Authoriti! app and show the individual who is harassing you the app’s badge. This will send a clear message that you have power, demand respect and ultimately the threatening situation should subside. I can see this app being quite handy  say in a biker bar filled with the meanest and biggest SOB’s on the planet. So relax, have a drink at Harry’s Biker Bar, no worries about getting your ass kicked, you have the Respect My Authoriti! app.

I think it’s best if you simply read the app’s description. It will give you a clearer understanding and quite frankly, provides a very amusing read … I can’t even make this stuff up:

Feelin’ ignored? Is “The Man” gettin’ you down? Need to show ’em who’s in charge and just don’t know how? Well, then thank your lucky stars that you just found the answer to these problems. Respect My Authoriti! shows those miscreant fools who’s running things and makes ’em cower in fear of your awesome display of obvious authority.

 

Respect My Authoriti! is simple to use. Select either a male or female voice and then choose which badge of authority will work best on your targets. Includes a shield similar to those used by police departments, a star similar to those used by sheriffs departments, and an ID badge that resembles those used by federal agents.

 

The next time some fool crosses your path and challenges you, just whip out your iPhone or iPod Touch, launch Respect My Authoriti!, and show ’em your badge. If presented with enough force your voice of authority will audibly play to reinforce your demand for respect.

 

Please remember this application is for the purpose of entertainment only. Impersonating an officer of law or other official is illegal in most jurisdictions. Be smart and have fun. And don’t forget to share the Authoriti with your friends! I mean, doesn’t everyone needs a little respect?

So I think that about sums it up … enough said.

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January 26, 2009 | Filed Under Lifestyle | 2 Comments 

Quick KRAPPS vol 1

Welcome to Quick KRAPPS. Why this new feature? To be honest, so many KRAPPS are being released, we are basically drowning in KRAPPS. We simply cannot keep up with the deluge. So instead of writing a full blown article, we decided to quickly bang out a few KRAPPS in our bookmark file … and the result … Quick KRAPPS.
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We all know sex sells. But did you know this sex thing is so powerful it can even sell farts? Hello Ms. Fart app … the sexy fart iPhone app! Like the developer says, “Why listen to an old man fart when you can listen to a lady. What could be better?” … uh, what could be better? … maybe for developers and Apple to realize fart apps were perhaps funny the first 1,000 times and are now simply lame.

Ms Fart Screenshot 
And continuing on our sex sells theme … animals also have magical selling powers. You know, those LOL cats that are appearing everywhere, cute little cuddly wuggly poochie puppy dogs (OMG), etc. Well no fart app goes unturned – hello Animal Farts app … OMG LOL soooo cute! And WTF? Read this app’s description, “Targeted for anyone interested in hearing and feeling the natural sounds of animal gas. The first fart app that helps us understand farts from an animal point of view.” … dude, you have a freaking screw loose!

Animal Fart screenshot
Let’s continue on the animal theme, don’t get us wrong, animals are cool. We have pets: dogs, geckos, fish … all good. So our jaw dropped when we saw the Dog Teaser app and it’s description, “Choose from a selection of sounds to tease and wind up your dog.” Ha! Ha! Ha! Let’s be cool and torment our dog … we’ll hit the Fireworks button and really jack up Fido. Wow … tough to choose the biggest dillweed of the bunch: Apple for accepting this app, the developer for creating the app or the moron who gets off on teasing their dog.

Dog Teaser Screenshot 
Ok, let’s do a total 180. The Brrpr app has to be considered KRAPPS, but we admit … this one made us totally laugh. Read the short and sweet description, “This app spells out anything you write using burps.” LOL, CLASSIC … reminds us of the time we tried to burp the entire ABC’s and ended up baby barfing in our mouth – yuck!

Brrpr Screenshot 
We conclude with the FingerMill app. For more details, check out our Chicks Dig Me article … since it’s basically the same fartknocker app. I guess one good KRAPPS deserves another. Besides reading Chicks Dig Me, might as well read what the developer has to say about his brilliant app, “FingerMill turns your device into a treadmill for fingers! FingerMill will keep you amused and your fingers in good shape!” … see, told you … brilliant!

FingerMill screenshot

January 24, 2009 | Filed Under Quick KRAPPS | 19 Comments 

App Eat App

Title: WeatherX
Category: Weather

Apparently WeatherX developer, Karim Dhanani, has bone to pick with customers who leave negative reviews in the App Store. You see, Karim has declared himself the “App Store Review Police” and threatens to report aggressors to Apple demanding the individual be banished. OUCH! … harsh KRAPPS!

WeatherX-Desc

nospam Karim uses the term “spam” – which we find strange. We’ve seen negative reviews where users compare the offending KRAPPS to an app which they prefer – but to claim this is “spam” (a developer pimping their own app while unfairly slamming another) is a bit paranoid. Not exactly sure why the paranoia. He’s released 5 apps (WeatherX, WeatherLive, CDCAlert, MedicalAlert and Quicklink) and the only customer review remotely looking like spam appears in the WeatherLive review:

WeatherX-Review2

So does Karim think customer Gold Prime is really My Weather Mobile since Gold Prime gives his opinion as “My Weather Mobile is still the best weather app”. Wow – Da Horror! Karim might be on to some dark evil scheme by My Weather Mobile to destroy all other iPhone weather apps. Guess it’s an App Eat App World out there in Developer Geekland.

madgeek LOL … dude needs to chill. I mean come on – how can you be so pissed that the opening line in your WeatherX description is about this spamming nonsense. Is this really the first impression you want to give your potential customers … that you are Mr. Pissed Off Paranoid App Developer Dude? Seriously, got a beef … blog it … twitter it … hell, start a “My Weather Mobile App Sucks” Facebook group … but putting it in your WeatherX description is freaking madness. Makes me want to buy the app and leave a KRAPPS/spam review just to mess with good old Karim. And for the record, WeatherX looks promising and has some cool features, but it’s tough download this angry app when I can install more peaceful, loving and kind apps like Koi Pond or Zen Garden … hint, hint Karim … you might want to do the same.

January 23, 2009 | Filed Under Weather | 18 Comments 

Attention Slackers!

Title: Hold The Button
Category: Games

Hold The Button Screen This one is so amazing, we had to re-read the description several times to let it sink in. We do not want to take credit for its brilliance, so here is the app’s actual description:

“Hold The Button will put to the test your stamina … As it’s name states, Hold The Button’s objective is to keep the button pressed as long as you can. Your reflexes and other speed-related abilities won’t help you in this game, you’ll have to learn to empty your mind if you want to achieve a high score … This is Hold The Button. Too simple? Maybe, but will you be one of the World’s Top 25?”

So to recap … the objective of Hold The Button is to press the button with your finger and not let go … EVER! See, we told you … freaking brilliant! This is the kind of stuff that puts other apps to shame. Screw Google Earth when you can get Hold The Button! Simply genius – slackers need not apply for this app. Hold The Button – the anti-KRAPPS of the iPhone apps!

January 22, 2009 | Filed Under Games | 1 Comment 

The Fight Against KRAPPS

Title: iFight
Category: Entertainment

update: all iFight download codes have been claimed – thank you

iFightiPhoneGIF350 Afrim Kacaj is a common man. He has a Ying – He has a Yang (we’ll talk ying here and cover his yang in another article – no pun intended). Afrim lives in New York City, has a job, pays taxes, gets a haircut and like most iPhone users … thinks there are too many KRAPPS in the App Store. But unlike the common iPhone user, Afrim decided to take matters into his own hands and lead the fight against KRAPPS. He cleverly released the iFight app along with the slogan, “fight against the fart apps”.

So how exactly is iFight battling KRAPPS? I’ll let Afrim explain:

Did a friend just lay an iFart? Unleash the whip on them with iFight. Another friend drinking a virtual beer with his iPhone? Give him a slap with iFight for being stupid. The possibilities are endless. Made in New York City!

Uh, note to self … don’t piss off Afrim. However somebody has got to break the news to him … you can’t fight KRAPPS with KRAPPS – releasing a KRAPPS to fight KRAPPS is well, KRAPPS … simply put, two wrongs don’t make a right. Ok, I’m out … gotta bail before Afrim bitch slaps me with his iPhone. But I’ll leave you with this iFight combat training video:

… shhhhhh, be very quite – I’m hiding from Afrim. Just snuck back to quickly smack Apple upside the head with my iFight app. Ok, I get “copy apps”: over 48 fart apps, endless tic-tac-toe apps, flashlights, tip calculators, etc. But damn, this is really going to piss off Afrim … Apple approved the iFight! app … yeah, look closely … WTF Apple … a single exclamation point is enough of a “non-duplicate” difference? Weak!

ifight-copy-app

Free iFight app to KRAPPS viewers!

Afrim was kind enough to provide KRAPPS with promo codes which will allow our viewers to download iFight for FREE. Be one of the first 5 readers to tweet on Twitter:

got iPhone? follow and visit @KRAPPS. outing whacky, weird, stupid & strange apps for your entertainment > http://KRAPPS.com

We will then direct message you the download code while supplies last. Make sure you follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so we can direct message you the code.

Second Chance Offer – once all 5 codes have been claimed, we will announce on Twitter details for part 2 of this giveaway … stay tuned at Twitter.

January 21, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 10 Comments 

Giveaway – East Coast Style

update: promo codes have been claimed. additional codes will be given away via Twitter.

Washington-Metro-Subway-iPh Presselite has been kind enough to provide KRAPPS with promo codes which will allow our viewers to download the Washington Metro Subway and New York Transit Subway apps for FREE (regular price $5.99).

Click here for details about the Washington Metro Subway app
Click here for details about the New York Transit app

We will announce on Twitter when the giveaway begins. When announcement is made, tweet the following:

got iPhone? follow and visit @KRAPPS. outing whacky, weird, stupid & strange apps for your entertainment > http://KRAPPS.com

We will then direct message you the download code while supplies last. Make sure you follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so we can direct message you the code.

January 20, 2009 | Filed Under Navigation, News | Leave a Comment 

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