-
-
-
-
Search
SUBSCRIBE
-
Recently Written
- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
- Wii iPhone 4 iOS Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Slap A Sexy Belly, Make Music, Huh? – Belly Jam iPhone App [Video]
- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
- Sexy Star Wars Pinups – EWWW!
- Weird Stuff From Japan – iPhone 4 Sushi Case
- MegaMan iPhone iOS 4 Home Screen Wallpaper Collection [Download]
-
Categories
-
Archives
- August 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
-
Meet The Ass Family – plus Recap Week Of September 6
Subscribe to our RSS feed and/or download the 100% free KRAPPS iPhone app … it’ll make you feel better!
In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.
September 6 – Creep Alert … Snuggie + Macarena = Snugarena [Video]
September 7 – Animal Sex App – Because Darn It, The App Store Was Really Lacking In Animal Porn!
September 8 – Football In The Groin Painfully Delivers 25 Reasons To Protect Your Genitals
September 9 – Fart Studio Makes A Stink With Its Hysterical iPad Spoof Commercial [Video]
September 10 – Porn Abundant In “I Show Off” App – Apple Fails To Enforce Their New Guidelines [NSFW]
September 11 – Same Day Apple Says ‘No More Fart Apps’ They Approve One Anyways
—————————————————————————————————————————-
The Ass Family
LMAO … aren’t they lovely?
Same Day Apple Says ‘No More Fart Apps’ They Approve One Anyways
Well that didn’t take long …
Yesterday in our More App Store Porn Discovered article, we mentioned that Apple released a set of guidelines to its developers. The big news (well, in our humble opinion) was that Apple is sick of fart apps … and would not longer approve them for sale. On the first page of their official App Store Review Guidelines document, Apple bluntly states … “We have over 250,000 apps in the App Store. We don’t need any more fart apps.”
OUCH … poor fart developers … we feel you! Or do we? Meh, this is Apple we’re talking about and as we once described them … a Comedy Of Errors.
So here’s a brief timeline …
The morning of Thursday, September 9 … Apple releases their official guidelines, boldly claiming NO MORE FART APPS! Twelve hours later … Apple approves and publishes a fart app – Simon Says Pull My Finger.
LMAO … and the comedy continues. The whole point of Apple’s document is to make the app review and approval process less arbitrary. However, when Apple says “no more fart apps” … what they REALLY mean is “no more fart apps unless it’s part of a game” or perhaps “no more fart soundboard apps” … yeah, is that what they mean? Hell, who knows with these guys.
Porn Abundant In “I Show Off” App – Apple Fails To Enforce Their New Guidelines [NSFW]
Nine-time Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis once said …. “Life Is All About Timing” … we couldn’t agree more.
Yesterday, in an attempt to make the app review and approval process less arbitrary, Apple released a set of guidelines to its developers. This official document from Apple is pretty hysterical as they try to be all hip, cool and non-corporate with their language … “We have over 250,000 apps in the App Store. We don’t need any more fart apps.”
Apple has always had a zero-tolerance policy for porn and nudity in the App Store … frequently banning nudie apps which somehow managed to get by Apple’s watchful eye:
06/25/09 – Hottest Girls … 07/01/09 – BeautyMeter … 07/30/09 – theXchange … 08/21/09 – Check myHottie … 09/15/09 – My X Girlfriend … 01/21/10 – forChan … 05/12/10 – Top Secret 2, Model Pose and Model Pose 2
Apple has now made their “No Porn Allowed” policy even clearer as Section 18 of the new App Store Review Guidelines document is dedicated to pornography …
18. Pornography
18.1 Apps containing pornographic material, defined by Webster’s Dictionary as "explicit descriptions or displays of sexual organs or activities intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings", will be rejected
18.2 Apps that contain user generated content that is frequently pornographic (ex "Chat Roulette" apps) will be rejected
Which brings us back to Carl’s “Life Is All About Timing” … LMAO … publish as many rules and guidelines as you want Apple, but if you can’t enforce them, your official policies don’t mean shit.
I Show Off, by Blue Sky Software, is an iPhone app which has been around for the past seven months (and is about to get banned). It’s one of those user-generated content applications where you upload a picture from within the app … the developer approves it … the image is published to the app … and the user community votes it yay or nay.
The whole “approve images before going live” concept is sound … however in reality, it’s pretty ineffective … Apple has been burned way too many times by this workflow (see our list of banned apps 4 inches above). User-generated images frequently translate to nudes and porn … as evident in the buttload of naked chick pics within I Show Off that have been there for months (displayed are some of the “tamer” selections).
“We have over 250,000 apps in the App Store. We don’t need any more fart apps” … you betcha Apple … and we can’t wait to report the next fart app you approve following this “no more farts” guideline (wait for it … it’ll happen – after all, this is Apple we’re talking about).
Fart Studio Makes A Stink With Its Hysterical iPad Spoof Commercial [Video]
Nowadays we rarely write about fart apps … there are 27 bajillion of them, most suck and frankly, fart apps are so 2008 … <yawn> why bother?
But once in a blue moon, a fart app breaks wind that piques our interest and is deemed KRAPPStastic … like the recently released Fart Studio app [iTunes $0.99].
Fart Studio is a universal app which takes farting to a whole new level. It’s been called “the Cadillac of fart apps” and credited to having raised farting to an art form. With features like stealth farts, remote farts, visual effects and more … Fart Studio is positioned to be the leader in Methane iBombs.
But rather than bore you with a detailed Fart Studio write-up, we encourage you to check out the hysterical Apple iPad spoof commercial created by Fart Studio developers Conniption Entertainment. We’re not really sure what’s more impressive … the cutting edge technology behind Fart Studio … or the fact that Conniption could come up with 4 minutes and 36 seconds of ridonkulous material.
Football In The Groin Painfully Delivers 25 Reasons To Protect Your Genitals
Football In The Groin joins the ranks of the hysterically epic and former #1 iPhone game, Ow My Balls, in celebrating the most painful experience known to mankind … being hit in the genitals.
But unlike Ow My Balls, the nutshots of Football In The Groin are not packaged into a cool game or some other clever delivery method. Nope – cut the foreplay and just give us the excruciating good stuff … ball meets groin … over and over and over again. 25 of the most painful and hilarious videos to be exact … all packaged neatly into Football In The Groin for your viewing convenience.
These crotch clutching videos range from soccer to football, hockey to baseball … with appropriate titles such as “This Kid Will Never Have Children”, ”Beckham Versus The Scrotum” and “Baseball Hits Nuts.”
Football In The Groin made us laugh, wince and throw up a little in our mouth. It’s the kind of app that’s so wrong, it just works on so many levels here at KRAPPS … ouch!
Animal Sex App – Because Darn It, The App Store Was Really Lacking In Animal Porn!
In case you missed the memo, Apple now allows porn in the App Store … as long as the graphic sexual images do not involve human beings. Yes indeed folks, brace yourselves for the onslaught of animal pornography apps … with the first arrival appropriately named … Animal Sex.
Animal Sex informs and educates about reproduction in the animal kingdom. From goats to flies, meerkats to frogs, snails to hippos … Animal Sex details a wide variety of creatures and their sexual techniques. Wonderful, we feel smarter already.
Although flies and snails having sex is really not our thing … but since Apple seems to be cool with canine coitus and boinking bitches, we call first dibs and have already begun developing Humphrey The Humping Dog iPhone app!
Creep Alert … Snuggie + Macarena = Snugarena [Video]
Continuing their fine tradition of releasing strange, creepy and bizarre commercials, Snuggie has incorporated the 1996 pop craze, “Macarena”, into their latest advertising efforts … disturbing and wrong on so many levels! Is that guy looking at a Snuggie centerfold?!? Proceed with caution …
-
-
-
-
Social KRAPPS
-
-
-
-
Email
Twitter
FriendFeed
Flickr
YouTube
