This Orchestra Fail Will Make Your Ears Bleed [Video] – plus Recap Week Of August 2

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In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

August 2: Miley Cyrus Legal Age Countdown For iPhone … And The App Store Is Now Complete

August 3: Pocket God Comics Now Available – First Comic Book From An Original iPhone App

August 4: Are You A Dead Lay? Super Hero Sex App To The Rescue!

August 5: iPopcorn Popper App – Will It Pop? [Video]

August 6: Double Rainbow Pee, What Does This Mean? Urine Teller App Can Help!

August 7: Hey Soldier, You’re Looking a Little Sheepish – Saving Private Sheep [iPhone Game Review]

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Warning: Play At Your Own Risk

This next clip may cause serious injury … DA HORROR! (make sure you turn the volume WAY UP – LMAO)

 

(via FAIL Blog)

August 8, 2010 | Filed Under News, Recap | Leave a Comment 

Hey Soldier, You’re Looking a Little Sheepish – Saving Private Sheep [iPhone Game Review]

(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)

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From the opening salvo of the old timey newsreel intro to the hilariously impossible to understand ovine leader, General Sheepard, to the sometimes dastardly difficult puzzles that comprise the gameplay, Saving Private Sheep [iTunes $0.99] by Bulkypix is a winner on many levels.

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The game starts you off easy, with a few basic levels that outline the mechanics of attaining your goals.  Don’t be fooled by these introductory levels, however, the puzzles will quickly ramp up.  The basic idea is that you are presented with a sheep soldier that is resting upon a structure.  By carefully removing the elements that the structure is made of, you attempt to get the sheep onto solid ground.  One false move, however, and he’ll tumble over the side and be devoured by the wolves.  In later levels, the sheep must make it across chasms to reach safety, requiring careful and precise timing of falling elements.

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There were several levels that took me multiple tries to get through (like the first time I had to flip the sheep into the air to get him to safety).  It is also important to pay attention to any levels where the General gives you pointers.  These levels introduce new concepts that are key to success, like when a wolf appears in sheep’s clothing which changes your goal to *trying* to dump the "soldier in disguise" over the side.

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The military theme carries throughout as you move across the campaign battlefield map and try to achieve medals for your best scores.  The in-game music and sound effects also follow this theme.  Global leaderboards are available via OpenFeint integration.

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The iPhone and iPod Touch version is just 99 cents [iTunes] with two additional campaigns available via InApp purchase for 99 cents each.  There is also an iPad HD version for $3.99 [iTunes], which I have not yet played, but it sports 20 new levels that were designed just for the device.

 

August 7, 2010 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | Leave a Comment 

Pocket God Comics Now Available – First Comic Book From An Original iPhone App

icon6 Besides the Miley Cyrus Legal Age Countdown app, one of our favorite iPhone applications is Pocket God [iTunes $0.99]. If you’re not familiar with this bestselling app … uh well … your kinda totally blowing it. Pocket God is a hilarious interactive application (filled with a ton of mini-games) where you play god and rule an island populated with primitive pygmies … being as kool or krappy as you want to your peeps. Developers Bolt Creative work their asses off keeping Pocket God fresh and fly … releasing updates every few weeks … 32 of them since Pocket God first launched 18 months ago in January 2009.

Pocket God has established a cult following and is really one of the best and original apps available in the App Store. Spend a buck – check it out … Pocket God is a must have!

But perhaps due to their attention-deficit disorder (ADD), the Pocket God developers are not satisfied working 20 hours a day to keep up with their Usain Bolt-like pace of application updates (damn, just dawned on us … Bolt Creative / Usain Bolt … coincidence? – we think not!) … nope, they had to go out and take on another HUGE project – Comic Books. Just released a few hours ago … Pocket God Comics [iTunes $0.99].

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Pocket God Comics is the first original iPhone application to get its own comic book. This digital comic is the first issue in a 4-part series (perhaps even more) available for both the iPhone and iPad … additional issues will be available via in-app purchase.

Besides the historic first edition Pocket God comic, the app contains a comic shop locator … just press the button and you’ll be able to find your local comic book shops. Why would you want to do this? Because Pocket God Comics is also available as a real live comic book … the kind made out of paper and ink and you get to turn the pages (remember those?). The print version will be released shortly and run a mere $3.95. If for some reason you live in the middle of boo-foo Egypt, you can pre-order Pocket God #1 and #2 (due out Oct. 27) over at Previews World.   

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Bolt Creative is also running a contest … one lucky bastard will win a $1,000 Apple Gift Certificate while everyone who enters the contest receives a Jet Pack unlock code. Check out the Pocket God Blog for more information.

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Being the huge Pocket God fans we are … digital issue #1 has already been downloaded to our revolutionary iPhone 4 and magical iPad. The artwork is AMAZING, the storyline is SUPERB … 22 pages of pure Pocket God awesomeness. There really is no reason not to spend 99 cents for this historic digital issue #1 … as well as jump on the inaugural print issue. Hell, have you seen the insane price of Superman / Action Comics #1? Yeah, we’re thinking collector’s edition … Pocket God #1 + eBay = RETIREMENT!  

August 3, 2010 | Filed Under Books, Entertainment, News | 6 Comments 

MC Hammer Becomes Apple’s New iPhone 4 Spokesperson – plus Recap Week Of July 19

Ad-Krapps-170x170 In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

July 19: Top 10 Steve Jobs Quotes From iPhone 4 Antennagate Press Conference

July 20: Apple’s Only Black Employee Voices His Frustration With iPhone 4 [Video]

July 21: Feel The Need To Kill Yourself? Death Chug iPhone App Can Help!

July 22: Small Penis? Male Size App Will Make You Feel Better About It!

July 23: Apple Bans America’s Next Top Model Contestant As Inappropriate – You Be The Judge

July 24: Apple Bans America’s Next Top Model Contestant As Inappropriate – You Be The Judge

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HAMMERTIME

Sorry folks … it had to be done …

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[via J from the UK]

July 25, 2010 | Filed Under News, Recap | Leave a Comment 

Only $495 Gets You This Classic Read From Amazon – plus Recap Week Of July 12

Ad-Krapps-170x170 In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

July 12: Spanking The Donkey – We’re Still Talking About An iPhone Game, Right?

July 13: Medical Ailment Linked To iPhone 4 [Comic Strip]

July 14: iPhone Born In The Jungles Of Guatemala, Not Cupertino (Video Proof)

July 15: The iPhone Can Now Make Your Breasts Bigger – Pissed Off Boob Job Surgeons Demand Recall

July 16: “F*ck” Now Allowed In The App Store – Al Pacino Soundboard Proves It Repeatedly

July 17: Dig Dug iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper [Download]

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Recommended Reading – For IDIOTS!

Since you’re here, you probably know what we’re all about … KRAPPS = Crap Apps … the stupid, strange, whacky and weird of the App Store. Penis enlargers, baby killers, underage porn, etc.

But after seeing this next item, we’re thinking … screw the App Store, let’s start a site solely dedicated to all the shit Amazon sells. Like this $495 book … The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China … which isn’t really even a book, it’s a five hundred dollar PDF download about the future Chinese crappers – WTF?!?

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Make sure you read Amazon’s product page and customer reviews for this sack of suck … worth way more than $495, it’s priceless!

July 18, 2010 | Filed Under News, Recap | 2 Comments 

Flipping The Bird Around The World – plus Recap: Week Of June 21

Ad-Krapps-170x170 In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

June 21: iPhone 4 And iPad Commercials – If Apple Cut The Bullshit [Videos]

June 22: Action Sex Positions – A Guide For Having Sex While Driving A Motorcycle & More

June 23: New App Can Fix Erectile Dysfunction (Why, God, Why)

June 23: Steve Wozniak Waiting Overnight In Line For The iPhone 4 [pictures & videos]

June 24: Apple’s Idiotic Statement To iPhone 4 Reception Issues – Don’t Hold It That Way

June 25: Interpreting Steve Jobs Moronic “Ur Holding It Wrong” Email Reply [Pictorial]

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A Cultural Guide To Flipping The Bird

Flipping the bird means one thing … F*CK YOU … or does it? Crank up the middle finger to some French a-hole and you’ll likely get a blank stare followed by a laugh … cuz it don’t mean shit in France. So before you take your next international journey, brush up on the local customs and learn the proper way to give that dicknose local the finger.

[click image to view full size]

Flip The Bird

(via PopCrunch)

June 27, 2010 | Filed Under News, Recap | Leave a Comment 

iPhone 4 And iPad Commercials – If Apple Cut The Bullshit [Videos]

second-camera-svp A couple of “banned” iPhone 4 / iPad promos are circulating the Internet … dry humor at its best – funnier than a fart in a space suit. We love the 2nd Camera Senior Vice President and a few of our favorite lines include …

iPhone 4:
”It’s going to change the way we think about phone sex”
”We invented a new metal”
”The best way to reinvent a product is to add a second camera”

iPad:
”The camera didn’t fit”
”You can’t take photos with the iPad, but you can view and share the shit out of them”

 

 

June 21, 2010 | Filed Under News | Leave a Comment 

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