Baby Shaker – It’s Not Funny Apple!

(update: app has been removed – CLICK HERE for details)

Our apologies in advance – this will not be a typical KRAPPS post. To borrow a baseball analogy, our mission is to hit what Apple tees up and this next one is going out of the park.

Ever hear of SBS? Per Wikipedia … “Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS) is a form of child abuse that occurs when an abuser violently shakes an infant, creating a whiplash-type motion that causes acceleration-deceleration injuries. The injury is estimated to affect between 1,200 and 1,600 children every year in the USA. SBS is often fatal and can cause severe brain damage, resulting in lifelong disability.” Besides death and brain damage, shaking a baby can cause blindness, leaning problems, seizure disorders, cerebral palsy and paralysis. Yeah, pretty disgusting stuff … repulsive and sickening.

So obviously child abuse is no laughing matter … and maybe it’s just us, but we would never even joke about child abuse and use it as a form of entertainment. Maybe we’re just square pegs and out of the norm because apparently Apple and the folks at Sikalosoft think shaking a baby is funny. Head to the App Store … and search the Entertainment category … there you will find the Baby Shaker iPhone app.

BabyShakerDesc

Now don’t get us wrong – we’re not on some vigilante justice hunt. We know there was no malicious intent by Sikalosoft. And we know that Apple are complete dumbasses when it comes to approving apps (even if the app includes a disclaimer – “Never, never shake a baby”), driven by quantity over quality. But come one … combining the title Baby Shaker with the objective of stopping an annoying crying baby is simply irresponsible and utterly idiotic. You would think Apple would stay totally clear of any iPhone app remotely resembling child abuse … but if you’ve paid any attention to KRAPPS, it’s really not surprising.

BabyShake1 BabyShake2 BabyShake3

loser Ok, we get it … crying babies can indeed get annoying. On a plane, at a restaurant, in the hotel room next to yours … we get it, annoying … shut that kid up! But Apple, try using just half your freaking money-making brain and reject Baby Shaker … tell Sikalosoft to make some revisions, call the damn thing Pacify Junior and mix in some pacifiers to calm the baby down. See how easy that was … simple stuff, sort of funny while protecting the integrity of the Apple brand. And never forget … reality bites – release Baby Shaker and you get douchebag users leaving loser reviews like the one below (yeah, look for it … look for the word CHOCKING) …

ShakeBabyComment

April 22, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment 

Comments

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  • The following could make for an interesting quiz app. Hopefully they'll soothe everyone's nerve here.

    # What is funnier than a dead baby?
    A dead baby in a clown costume.
    # What is the difference between a baby and a onion?
    No one cries when you chop up the baby.
    # What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?
    One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.
    # What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board?
    Dart-boards don't bleed.
    # What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar?
    About 500 calories.
    # Why did the family take the dead baby along on the cookout?
    So they could light it and toast their marshmallows.
    # Why was the dead baby kept in the kitchen drawer?
    The family used it to crack nuts.
    # Why do people keep dead babies in the rec. room?
    They cut off one leg and use it as a ping pong paddle.
    # Why do you put babies into blenders feet first?
    So you can see the expression on their faces.
    # Why do they boil water when a baby is being born?
    So that if its born dead they can make soup.

  • The following could make for an interesting quiz app. Hopefully they'll soothe everyone's nerve here.

    # What is funnier than a dead baby?
    A dead baby in a clown costume.
    # What is the difference between a baby and a onion?
    No one cries when you chop up the baby.
    # What is the difference between a dead baby and a water melon?
    One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other one's a water melon.
    # What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board?
    Dart-boards don't bleed.
    # What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar?
    About 500 calories.
    # Why did the family take the dead baby along on the cookout?
    So they could light it and toast their marshmallows.
    # Why was the dead baby kept in the kitchen drawer?
    The family used it to crack nuts.
    # Why do people keep dead babies in the rec. room?
    They cut off one leg and use it as a ping pong paddle.
    # Why do you put babies into blenders feet first?
    So you can see the expression on their faces.
    # Why do they boil water when a baby is being born?
    So that if its born dead they can make soup.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Eric Soriano

    I have a 5 month old baby, and yeah she cries and can get annoyed at night, but there is no way in hell i would ever do that to my baby. I think this app is offensive to all parents. Apple should consider apologizing to all parents for even accepting this dumbass app for there Ipod.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Steve iHand Jobs

    yeah this is a shitty app and its not funny at all but i find it funny how people are screaming for apple censorship… Big Daddy apple pleeeassee take the bad app away… Oh brother.. Wake up people make decisions on your own! IF you don't like the app don't support it hit em where it hurts their wallet or send em a bad review.. Don't ask for censorship or you might end up going down the wrong path with unintended consequences.

  • Satire Rules

    I see no one in the comment's section nor the article writer understands the concept of fantasy satire?

  • Satire Rules

    I see no one in the comment's section nor the article writer understands the concept of fantasy satire?

  • Satire Rules

    I see no one in the comment's section nor the article writer understands the concept of fantasy satire?

  • Satire Rules

    I see no one in the comment's section nor the article writer understands the concept of fantasy satire?

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