Thank You KRAPPS Sponsors

We would like to take a brief timeout to thank our valued sponsors. Without their support, there would be no KRAPPS (uh, that doesn’t sound right). All these peeps are solid folks, have quality products and we’re proud to be aligned with them. So support KRAPPS, show our sponsors some love … you’ll become a better person.

Be Seen With KRAPPS
KRAPPS is the only web site dedicated to iPhone humor and fun. Take advantage of our unique niche by advertising on KRAPPS. We offer four different sponsorship packages to ensure participation at a variety of budget levels. Contact us at info@KRAPPS.com to receive our media kit, rate card and to secure your advertising placement.

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screen_5 Ow My Balls!
Ow My Balls! is a hysterical iPhone game centered around the mishaps of Joe The Juggler. Kick Juggler Joe off the ledge of a tall building … and he cries out – “OW MY BALLS!” As Joe falls, hit objects to score points and ignite the fart jetpack to make him travel the longest distance possible before making impact with the ground and crying out - 
“OW MY BALLS!” This high quality game contains outstanding hand-drawn graphics, hilarious custom recorded sounds and user-friendly controls. Plus you have the ability to record your own “OW MY BALLS!” sound effect to use within the game. A bargain at only 99 cents … click here to purchase OW MY BALLS via iTunes or read our extensive review.

ifightthankyouGIF iFight Pro
This app is a blast! To really appreciate iFight Pro [iTunes], click here and take a quick look at a demonstration video – it’s really cool. Combine a handgun, rifle, shotgun, slap, whip, gong, sword or punch with one of the eight background music tracks – and you’ll be awarded with a pure quality, enormously fun iPhone app.


hideNtweet22 hideNtweet
With the amount of garbage in the App Store, the FREE hideNtweet app is a breath of fresh air. It is a totally unique and original game specifically designed for the iPhone. Think the classic children’s game Hide And Seek … now bring Hide And Seek to the iPhone, couple that with GPS technology and Twitter … and voila – hideNtweet. Click here to read our review. Better yet, experience this extraordinary gaming experience yourself – click here to download via iTunes for FREE.

100soundsThankYou 100sounds
There’s a reason 100sounds [iTunes] is the #1 soundboard app … cuz it rocks! This app not only provides hundreds of high quality originally recorded sound effects, but also includes loop and delay effects for all your comedic purposes. Plus you can get hundreds of ringtones emailed to you, automatically, at no extra charge! 100sounds was already a bargain at $0.99, so this enhancement makes it a great deal! Click here to view web site, be sure to check out the hysterical user-submitted videos.

DrinkTracker Ad DrinkTracker – The Breathalyzer iPhone App
Don’t drink and drive! True words, but easier said than done. This is where DrinkTracker [iTunes] comes into play – your personal “alcohol conscious” – helping you to drink responsibly. DrinkTracker calculates your blood alcohol content (BAC) based on your profile and updates every 60 seconds. This is an extremely feature-rich breathalyzer app and at $1.99, a no-brainer bargain buy. Click here for our review or visit the DrinkTracker site for complete details and a fantastic demo video.

BinaryGameThankYou2 Binary Game
Simply put, this app makes you smarter! Binary Game gets your brain juices flowing and is a ton of fun. It’s an original game of binary math which is simple to play and highly addictive. The worldwide leader board satisfies the most uber-competitive gamer, while the Facebook Connect feature pleases those social types. Click here to read our review or click here to purchase from the App Store, click here.

Wordulous 99 Games
99 Games is an exceptional game developer cranking out such iPhone classics as WordsWorth (ranked as high #1 in the word game category), Chess Pro, Chess Lite, Aqua Jigsaw, and Jigsaw Wild. Their latest offering is Wordulous … an anagram like no others: multiple modes, global scores, Facebook Connect and more. 99 Games is committed to building only the highest quality and most entertaining games possible … all at affordable prices. Click here for our review.

July 5, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, News, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment 

Secrets Of A Millionaire iPhone App Developer

Ok developers, listen up … it’s time we let you in on a little iPhone secret. Similar to those Twitter “get rich quick” schemes (man those are annoying – we blame Oprah!) , we have a guaranteed system that will get you big bank by selling your iPhone app the “KRAPPS Way” (and no, don’t develop the biggest piece of krapp application for the sole purpose of being featured here on KRAPPS – LOL).

Below are examples of apps selling the “KRAPPS Way”. Pay attention … quiz at the end.

You know those plain vanilla wristwatch apps? Why develop another lame one when you can release … the My Sexy Watch app

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Or what about the classic game of Hangman? Booooring! What the world really needs is … the Sexy Hangman app

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Sleep machines are cool. They play soothing sounds that enable you to snooze like a baby. But does the App Store really need another sleep machine app? No! The App Store is begging for … the Sexy Dreams app

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We like puzzle games. The kind that have a bunch of scattered pieces and your job is to slide them back together again and reveal a picture. But you can’t make bank from just any picture, you need … the Amazing Sexy CowGirl iSlider app

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Honestly …. Sudoku sucks! But this we like … the Sexy Sudoku app

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The iPhone’s technology is amazing. Take for example its GPS functionality – apply this feature the right way and you’ll never get lost again … with a simple push of a button, you’ll always be able to find your way back home. But slow down sparky – think about it! This is your moment to shine with … the Take Me Home I’m Sexy! app

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So ok Mister iPhone App Developer … we’ve given you 6 examples of how to make bank off your app the “KRAPPS Way”. You’re a smart dude, reading KRAPPS and doing the whole Coca Language thing … show me the money!

iphone-3gs_SEX Right you are … SEX, SEX, SEX … sex sells and it’s as simple as adding the word “Sexy” to the title of your app. And no worries, don’t be all pushing and shoving … getting in our grill. There’s plenty of sex for everyone … Sexy Baseball – Sexy Twitter – Sexy Shazam – Sexy Pandora – Sexy Turn By Turn Navigation – Sexy Moron Test – Sexy Tetris – Sexy Skype – and more … LOL – and you thought the “S” in the new iPhone 3GS stood for speed … NOT! Introducing iPhone 3GS … They Sexiest iPhone yet.

July 3, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, Games | 16 Comments 

Update – Apple Pulls BeautyMeter App With Nude 15-Year-Old

BeautyMeterWebNotice update: 1:00 p.m. PST – BeautyMeter developer has posted a message on their site indicating they have cleaned up their database of nude images. They have also increased measures to guard against future user-generated nudity. It also sounds like they identified an individual (via the UUID) and will be taking “further steps” (click image for full view).

Yesterday’s BeautyMeter article resulted in quite the firestorm. Media outlets such as Fox News, Wired, Gizmodo, DownloadSqaud and others, carried the “Nude 15-Year-Old Pictures” story … as well as social media activity from Digg, Twitter and more.

Today at approximately 12:20 a.m. PST (24 hours after we broke the story), Apple removed BeautyMeter from the App Store … however previous downloads are still fully functional – including access to the infamous 15-year-old nude image seen below (image taken at time of writing, at 12:30 a.m. PST).

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It seems yesterday was not the first time BeautyMeter had its “issues”. The app launched January 17 and the developers, Braun Software, began approving user generated nude images for public viewing. Then in mid-April, the devs changed their policy, no more nudity. Of course this caused a huge backlash among the rabid middle-aged perverts as they voiced their displeasure via the App Store User Ratings.

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One month later, the perverted old guys (and comment #113’s wife – see above) rejoiced … BeautyMeter boobs were back!

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We’re not exactly sure why Braun Software banned the once acceptable nudity from their app in mid-April … perhaps it was in preparation of submitting Version 1.6 update for approval (kind of like cleaning up shop before the inspector pays a visit), which was accepted by Apple on April 27. Strange behavior by Braun Software.

So the question remains … does Apple allow nudity in the App Store???

If the answer is NO nudity, then why does Apple make available a 17+ rating specifically stating Frequent/Intense Nudity? … why do apps like TOP100 specifically advertise topless models coming soon?

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If the answer is YES nudity, then why would apps like Hottest Girls and BeautyMeter (sans the 15-year-old naked girl) be banned?

Obviously Apple needs to make a decision on their nudity policy and stick with it … indecisions and inconsistencies in business are an absolute killer. We think Sir Winston Churchill summarizes the current state of Apple the best with his 1939 “quotation”:

I cannot forecast to you the action of Apple.
It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma

July 2, 2009 | Filed Under News, Social | 326 Comments 

Nude 15-Year-Olds In The App Store? Yes There Is

(update: July 2 at 2:00 a.m. PST – click here for details)

AppleiPhoneDRAMAQUEENfinal Last week, a sexy bikini chick app made quite the splash in iPhone App World. The Hottest Girls application made Apple history by becoming the first iPhone app to contain nudity. But that was only the beginning of the iPhone Spice drama, requiring us to cover (no pun intended) the Hottest Girls saga in two articles (article #1 – article #2). In summary … the developer pulled the app due to overwhelming sales, then Apple said bullshit – they actually removed the app, then Apple shut down all the developer’s apps, then the developer closed his web site seemingly hiding from angry paying customers (does Apple refund their money?) … LOL, gotta love Apple drama.

Apple even released a statement via spokesman Tom Neumayer saying … “Apple will not distribute applications that contain inappropriate content, such as pornography.” So life goes on … the App Store went back to being non-nude and porno-free.

But life isn’t simple – many questions remain. TechCrunch ran an excellent article which describes how developers rate their own apps when submitting to Apple for approval. The rating matrix clearly shows that an app can contain Frequent/Intense nudity and still be approved by Apple. So then why did Apple remove the Hottest Girls app with its topless nudity? – the app was rated properly as 17+ … what’s the problem?

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Clearly Apple is completely whack when it comes to their App Ratings and Approvals … LOL at Steve Jobs boasting that the App Store is “Revolutionary” … uh NO dude – considering the thousands of KRAPPS we must avoid to find a decent app, the store is a freaking joke.

Nudity – Shmoodity … you think with Apple’s latest swift actions, the App Store is now “safe” from nudity? Think again! Let us introduce you to our little friend … the BeautyMeter app by German-based Braun Software.

BeautyMeterTitle

BeautyMeter is one of those “Do You Think I’m Hot” rating apps, popular among teens and middle-aged male perverts. The user uploads a picture of themselves … the image is broadcasted via the app … other app users rate the picture from Fugly to Hot. Similar apps include Hot Or Not, PhotoKast, YoHottie … but with one BIG difference … BeautyMeter contains NUDITY and this nudity is approved by Braun Software as supposedly they review every image prior to releasing it into the app for public view.

BeautyMeterNude(1)1   BeautyMeterNude(2)2

BeautyMeterNude(3)3   BeautyMeterNude(4)4

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What’s whack about BeautyMeter is that there is no nudity warning in the App Rating … it simply states Mature/Suggestive Themes. Hey Braun Software – Apple provides a convenient nudity rating – use it … freaking dumbasses!

So does Apple allow nudity in the App Store? Well they say they don’t and act all pious banishing topless chick app Hottest Girls … but when you dig a little deeper, there’s been nudity in the App Store for nearly 6 months when BeautyMeter first launched on January 17.

Now let’s play the “Pretend You’re Steve Jobs And Make The Executive Decision” game:

Question #1 – Steve, can we distribute an app in which you could rate a 16-year-old’s body on a scale of 1 to 5?
Your Answer -  WTF kind of a question is that?!? Get away from me you piece of krapp
middle-age male pervert … you’re FIRED!

Bravo … great answer … but guess what – it’s Wrong!

BeautyMeter16(1) BeautyMeter16(2) BeautyMeter16(3)

Question #2 – Steve, can we allow underage completely nude pictures in the App Store?
Your Answer – WTF kind of a question is that?!? Get away from me you piece of krapp
middle-age male pervert … you’re FIRED!

Again – bravo … that’s another great answer … but guess what – it’s Wrong!

UnderageiPhoneNudity 

NICE Apple … once again, your Revolutionary App Store never cease to amaze us! And even if Miss United States faked her Age 15 description, why did Braun Software approve the image for public view? And why didn’t Apple respond to the user comment below – seems like a pretty significant claim worthy of at least a quick peak.

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So what’s Apple’s final policy … To Nude or Not To Nude? Yeah, that is the question and it beats the hell out of us. One thing is certain … Apple really needs to slow the heck down with their approval process, implement some serious quality control measures and straight forward policies … because at this point, Apple is making our job way too easy.

July 1, 2009 | Filed Under News, Social | 8,457 Comments 

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