Melt Away Your Snotcicles With The iPhone

Snotcicle-FINAL BRRR … it’s January … the middle of winter … and it’s freaking cold! (unless of course you’re in Australia, enjoying the awesome 80 degree summer weather … screw you) It’s so cold that Tiger Woods is sleeping with his own wife in order to keep warm … the inmates are begging for the electric chair … and our balls have become ovaries. Baby, it’s cold!

So besides setting your house on fire or getting a fever … what can you do to keep warm? Simple. Remember your $300 iPhone? Apple says it’s revolutionary … and it really is … because now with the help of two new apps, the iPhone can melt those snotcicles away.

iHandwarmer

iHandwarmer-Title

Genius! Developers know that the iPhone already heats up when running certain programs, so might as well build an app which simply uses 100% of the CPU and market it as a battery drainer … errr … hand warmer. Yes, you too can look like a complete idiot by tucking a couple of iPhones in your gloves during your next ski trip for the most expensive hand warmers ever. Then again, folks buy $300 True Religion jeans … who are we to mock a $300 hand warmer?

But while iHandwarmer sounds great … what if you need to crank out a bit more BTU’s? Like if you want to heat up your house or make toast. Then you got to go with the finest in iPhone cookers …

Pocket Heat

Pocket-Heat-Title

Pocket-Heat-Splash

Now that’s what we’re talking about … a freaking portable heater. TOASTY! Hey, if it’s so cold outside that the Chicken Ranch is charging 50 bucks just to blow on your hands … then buy Pocket Heat and put the $49 savings towards another menu item.

Oh wait … Pocket Heat is a half-gimmick / half-real app. It’s not an actual space heater. Well thank you Mister Obvious. What gave us away … the “I’m With Dumbshit” t-shirt our friend is wearing? You almost had us! The iPhone is a space heater … you funny Michael P. Austin … you funny. Next thing you know we’ll be reading headline news of how the iPhone saved some lost hikers from freezing to death.

January 4, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Utilities | 8 Comments 

Recap: Week Of December 28

iphone3g krapps 2 In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

December 28: WTH Apple! ‘Pussy Lovers’ And ‘Tits And Boobies’ Apps?

December 29: Magical Interview With Three Wolf Moon Licensor Michael McGloin [Part 1]

December 29: Pussy Lovers, Tits And Boobies – The Joke Is Over, Banned!

December 30: Magical Interview With Three Wolf Moon Licensor Michael McGloin [Part 2]

December 31: Official LEGO App Released – Geeks Excited, Have Brickgasms

January 1: Random Steve Jobs Sock Puppet Show – Happy New Year!

January 2: Super Size Me – An App Of Epic Proportions (Be Scared)

January 3, 2010 | Filed Under Recap | 1 Comment 

Super Size Me – An App Of Epic Proportions (Be Scared)

So we came across this application with an intriguing name … Super Size Me. At first we thought it was an app featuring the documentary film by Morgan Spurlock, in which for 30 days he eats only McDonald’s food <barf>. But a closer look revealed, it was no big deal … just another one of the thousands of hot chick boobs apps available for your iPhone.

Super-Size-Me-FINAL

However similar to looking at the sun (it’s so tempting), we decided to peek inside the Super Size Me app … and what we found made being chased by Elin Nordegren  seem like a walk in the park. Super Size Me left us scared, speechless and soiled.

So dear KRAPPS viewers, stop right here … move on … go away. Surf over to Lolcats for some harmless, innocent and healthy laughs. There is no need to read any further … staring at the sun will burn your eyes! At least we warned you, Apple didn’t …

… [don’t look] …
… [go away] …
… [move along] …
… [resist] …

Super-Size-Me-1  Super-Size-Me-2

Super-Size-Me-3  Super-Size-Me-4

 

 

 

 

 

January 2, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 10 Comments 

Random Steve Jobs Sock Puppet Show – Happy New Year!

And there you have it … another decade gone by. Wishing you and yours a healthy and successful 2010. We hope you have enjoyed following our site this past year and a huge THANK YOU for your support … you really do complete us! <emotional tears>

krapps-new-year-iphone

We’ll start the new decade off with a Steve Jobs sock puppet show, courtesy of Guppies in The Dark and their new iSock app. Although this may seem pretty random … keep in mind, this is KRAPPS, home of perfect iPhone chaos (plus we received a memo stating sock puppets are the in thing in 2010).

Happy New Year Everyone
Have A Kick Ass 2010

January 1, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 3 Comments 

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