Amazing Dirty Sex City Names For iPhone – Really, Really Bad (Names)

Our apologies in advance! For whatever reason we are feeling a bit childish today and reverting to a preteen mentality. But hey, don’t blame us … this is what happens when all “overtly sexual” content is removed from the App Store and one must stretch for a bit of iPhone titillation. So bear with us while we streeeeetch with the Amazing Dirty Sex City Names app.

Sex-City-Names-Title

Aside from the blatant attempt at being a search engine magnet … at first … Amazing Dirty Sex City Names made us question this whole business of Apple protecting their brand from cheesy sex-oriented apps. Yeah, the cheese factor on this one is off the charts! But although probably best suited for a frat party or some boy’s/girl’s night out … Amazing Dirty Sexy Names managed to induce a Beavis and Butthead-like chuckle from us. Big Beaver, Pennsylvania … huh, huh. Dildo, Newfoundland … huh, huh. Blue Ball, Pennsylvania … huh, huh.

Sex-City-Names-1  Big-Beaver-PA

Sex-City-Names-2  dildo-newfoundland

Sex-City-Names-3  Blue-Ball-PA

And the whole sophomoric episode continues – Fort Dick, California … Spread Eagle, Wisconsin … Middelfart, Denmark … Sexmoan, Philippines … Long Dong, China … Pussy Creek, Ohio … and on and on. Ok …we’ll stop … after one more. Did you know it takes 4 hours to get from Intercourse to Climax? Huh, huh … when traveling between those two cities in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania … HA!

Spread-Eagle-Wisconsin

Agreed … Amazing Dirty Sex City Names is over the top in cheese … but beggars can’t be choosey in the App Store these days. 

March 3, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 6 Comments 

Poker Vs. Strong Female Role Models App – Result Of Apple’s ‘Overtly Sexual’ Policy

Ladies and gentlemen … the story you are about to read is true. The facts have NOT been changed to protect the innocent. 

Headlight Software has been in business since 1997 … creating high quality utilities and web-based services. With over 13 million downloads, their first product, GetRight, remains one of the premiere download managers on the market. In 2008, the company began developing iPhone apps with FTP On The Go (a direct descendant of GetRight) as their inaugural release. Since then, they have branched out into games and other utilities.

Although Headlight Software is a reputable, well-established publisher … their sole “lighthearted” app fell victim to Apple’s recent war on smut apps. Apple deemed the Poker vs. Girls app “overtly sexual” and it was removed from sale. Poker vs. Girls was one of the many strip poker games available for download in iTunes … containing images of girls in lingerie … pretty much the exact same thing you will find in the Victoria’s Secret All Access application (currently available for download).

Poker-vs-Girls-1 Poker-vs-Girls-2

So realizing it was time to nut up or shut up (love that movie), Headlight Software chose the former and released a polar opposite version of the “overtly sexual” Poker vs. Girls. As a matter of fact, this new poker app is somewhat inspirational … Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models.

poker-vs-role-models-title

poker-vs-role-models-1

LMAO … indeed, nothing sexy about playing no limit Texas Hold’em Poker against fully dressed career women … who stay clothed no matter win, lose or draw. Choose from eight different professional females … a Doctor, Fighter Pilot, App Developer, Mathematician and more. And just to play it completely safe (never know with Apple’s arbitrary standards), Headlight Software chose to go the total no flesh route with a Burka-wearing female as their icon.

poker-vs-role-models-2 poker-vs-role-models-3

So here’s the deal folks … if you’re looking for some steamy strip poker action for your iPhone, Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models is about as close (and we use the term loosely) as you’ll get in Apple’s new squeaky-clean, brand protected App Store. Unless of course a well-known company like Playboy, Maxim, FHM or Hooters decides to publish one. But until then … nut up or shut up … learn to love the Burka!

poker-vs-role-models-4

Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models (damn we love that name) is a free download [iTunes Free] with two strong female role model opponents available for play. The remaining six strong female role models can be unlocked, but NOT undressed, for only 99 cents. Again … nut up or shut up!

March 2, 2010 | Filed Under Games, News | 7 Comments 

Exclusive: Steve Jobs And Bill Gates Turn Guido!

Sure they may be among the most powerful and influential men in the business world, but  Steve Jobs and Bill Gates cannot survive on work alone. Just like the rest of us, these guys need to blow off some serious steam. And while you might assume that Jobs and Gates partake in some stuffy relaxation ritual of sipping fine Chateau Latour from Riedel stemware while smoking Cohiba Esplendidos … we’re here to tell you that’s bullcrap.

Trusted sources have informed us that Jobs and Gates have transformed into Steve “Sleazy T” Jobs and Bill “Baby Oil” Gates … hanging with the Guidos and Guidettes of Jersey Shore. They are fist pumping, glow sticking and Jagermeistering with The Situation, Snooki  and the rest of the Jersey Shore douchebags, club-style. And of course we have the exclusive bronzed  pictures to prove it (including their matching soul patches).

Jobs-G  Jobs-Guidofy-FINAL

Gates-G  Gates-Guidofy-FINAL

LMAO … yo, gotta love photography apps for the iPhone … especially when they “unleash the Guido in you”. For a mere 99 cents, the Guidofy app will provide you with an authentic  Italian-American Muscle Milk look. Choose from Fedora hats, Yankees caps, Vercase and Prada shades, Fohawk hair, gold chains, etc … over 50 options for Guidofying yourself. But best of all … bronzer functionality for that gorgeous fake and bake synthetic tan appeal.

Guidofy-Title

Guidofy-Splash

And take a wild guess what Robert Pattinson does when he’s not busy drinking people’s blood? Or Conan O’Brien, when he’s on break from interviewing squirrels in his backyard? SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!

Pattinson-G  Pattinson-Guido

Coco-G  Coco-Guido

March 1, 2010 | Filed Under Photography | 8 Comments 

« Previous Page