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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
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“This Is My Gift To All Current And Future iPhone Users” – Fart Dialer
If you follow us on Twitter, then you know that a good number of our tweets announce paid applications that have gone free for a limited time. We figure everyone loves a bargain and nothing beats a good free iPhone app. For example, we just tweeted three excellent iPhone games that are currently free: Fly-Flap [iTunes] was $0.99 … Sniper Strike [iTunes] was $1.99 … Mole – Quest For The Terracore Gem [iTunes] was $1.99. If interested, get these babies now as they’ll return to full price shortly.
On any given day, there are hundreds of paid apps which drop to the gratis level. And honestly, most of them suck. But that’s why we review every application price drop and only announce (tweet) the apps which are solid candidates for permanent residency on our iPhone. Think of us as your personal concierge … tweeting only the best app bargains.
Yesterday was huge in our daily free app treasure hunt. Rarely do we come across such a gem of high distinction and we were thrilled to share it with our followers. The app is regularly priced at 99 cents … but we got it for free … hurray for Fart Dialer!
Now when you think about the 3 billion fart applications available in the App Store … most of them are of the one-dimensional soundboard variety. Push a button, hear a fart … yipeee, puke! The beauty of Fart Dialer is … (get this) … when dialing a phone number, each number pressed is a unique fart sound. See … that’s why they call it Fart Dialer … it farts when you dial … WOW! And check this – in true Jerky Boys fashion, the thing actually dials the number … Fart Dialer works … WOW!
We spoke with Fart Dialer developer Mark Gurman regarding his inspiration for creating such a revolutionary app … “Isn’t it obvious? What could be better than a farting phone?”, said Mr. Gurman. “After seeing such ridiculous apps like Fart Piano, Farts With Push Notification, Fart Olympics and Bacon Farts, I realized the fart niche desperately needed a high quality application which would enhance the iPhone’s native functionality,” Mr. Gurman continued, “Fart Dialer is my gift to all current and future iPhone users.”
WOW! Beautiful words … excuse us while we wipe the tears from our eyes.
After hearing our enthusiasm for Fart Dialer, Mr. Gurman agreed to extend his offer. Fart Dialer will remain free for at least the next 24 hours … WOW! So hurry, don’t miss Mr. Gurman’s generous offer … download Fart Dialer for free! After all, it would be uncivilized to turn down a gift.
Determined To Bring Sexy Back, Developer Forced To Publish ‘I Love Burgers’ Fetish App
Besides eliminating 3% of all applications in the App Store, Apple’s removal of “overtly sexual” apps has had some interesting effects. For example, the remaining sexy apps benefited from a significant decrease in competition. The previously insignificant Swimsuit Calendar 2010 (not the Sports Illustrated version) saw its Lifestyle category ranking increase by 165 positions over the course of one week and is currently ranked 58th. FHM had a similar climb … up 144 spots in a week and is now the 10th most popular paid Lifestyle application.
Another effect of Apple’s massive rampage is the creativity and determination (desperation?) of developers attempting to bring sexy back into the App Store. We highlighted the cleaned up strip poker application … Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models … and the myCupcakes – myBuns euphemisms for tits and ass applications (which have now been banned). However, when it comes to arousing apps … it’s still slim pickings.
Slim pickings? – HA! Attention all you steamy content cravers … we have good news! Look there … there in the Lifestyle category … see it? The I Love Burgers application!
Oh yeah! Hundreds and hundreds of arousing pictures … women eating hamburgers! Indeed a glorious day in App Store history. Hot chicks, hot hamburgers, hot cheese … what can we say … it makes us hot!
Now granted, there is virtually no skin on display in I Love Burgers … but it’s Apple’s world, we just live in it. So take our advice fellow iPhone lovers … learn to lust the hamburger. Just look at these amazing hamburger pictures … so arousing, so racy, so sexy … uh, it’s so time to get an Android or become a monk.
Overtly Sexual Apps Return – Apple Fails To Enforce New Policy?
As we reported three weeks ago, Apple went on a massive rampage of sex-oriented app removals. Without any advance warning … Apple banned over 5,000 applications during the course of 72 hours. This sweep of the App Store is Apple’s most significant effort in their war on smut apps, resulting in hundreds of developers’ livelihoods taken away. Apple delivered a serious and clear message … applications that contain “overtly sexual” content will not be tolerated.
After making such a strong and well publicized anti-sex app statement, you would assume Apple would err on the side of caution regarding any future sex-oriented applications. But we should all be familiar with the whole “Ass” out of “U” and “Me” thing.
Just three weeks after 5,000 smut apps were banished, Apple approved the myCupcakes and myBuns applications (both paid and free versions of each), by Bangin Apps. And while cupcakes and buns might seem like wholesome subject matters, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the true meaning behind these code names … tits and ass.
Bangin Apps, is no stranger to the App Store. Prior to Apple’s change of smut policy, they enjoyed two highly successful releases … myBoobs and myBooty. Both apps were ranked in the Entertainment category’s Top 100 and positioned as flagship products.
In attempt to follow Apple’s new guidelines, Bangin Apps re-skinned myBoobs and myBooty with new names and preview screenshots. However the content of the apps remains the same … tits and ass. And wouldn’t you know it, Apple approved the four “overtly sexual” apps with no delays whatsoever. Like their predecessors, myCupcakes and myBuns are climbing the charts … with myCupcakes already in the Top 100 of its category.
We doubt Apple reversed their policy once again … allowing “overtly sexual” handbra and dental floss covered ass images. We emailed Bangin Apps and are waiting for a reply … how did myCupcakes and myBuns apps bust through Apple’s no smut policy? Since these applications do not store pictures in-app, rather content is delivered via a server … our guess is that at the time of review, Apple never saw any of the scantly clad female images which the app currently contains.
But come on … did Apple really think myCupcakes and myBuns would contain a bunch of pastry and cake images? As discussed, Apple should err on the side of caution … cupcakes and buns … DUH!
Recap: Week Of March 1 – plus App Star Awards 2nd Edition
In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.
March 1: Exclusive: Steve Jobs And Bill Gates Turn Guido!
March 2: Poker Vs. Strong Female Role Models App – Result Of Apple’s ‘Overtly Sexual’ Policy
March 3: Amazing Dirty Sex City Names For iPhone – Really, Really Bad (Names)
March 4: Star Walk App – Because Having The Entire Universe On Your iPhone Is Freakin’ Cool
March 5: Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz iPhone App – Why Didn’t We Think Of That?
March 6: Go Ask Alice: Alice’s Adventures – Rabbit Hole Of Death iPhone Game
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App Star Awards 2nd Edition
(aka – I Listen To Bands That Don’t Even Exist Yet)
Never mind the Oscars (da shame, snubbing The Hangover and Zombieland), we have some real awards news. Coming soon is the 2nd edition of the App Star Awards. What’s killer about these awards is that it’s totally unique … one-of-a-kind … different. Unlike other iPhone app awards, App Star Awards discovers and rewards brilliant upcoming apps … apps that don’t even exist yet (or at least not in the App Store). Like we said … totally unique – totally cool. Pay attention to the App Star Awards for valuable insights and previews of upcoming applications that promise to be awesome.
Any app can be included for consideration (just as long as it hasn’t been submitted to Apple by March 26 … and no jailbreak apps). Developers can already begin to pre-register their app(s) … while regular submissions begin March 21.
The App Star Awards 2 is partnering with 360iDev (one of the largest iPhone developer events in the United States) and winners will be announced on stage at the conference (April 12 in San Jose, CA).
This year’s App Star Awards should be way better than last year’s … mainly because we’ll be participating in the event – HA! Yeah, we’ll be part of the judging crew … checking out the 30 “final round” apps (which don’t even exist yet) and voting for our three faves … top three vote getters will be declared the winners.
Anyways … we’re totally stoked to be part of the App Star Awards festivities and looking forward to checking out some kick ass apps. Stay tuned to KRAPPS for App Star Awards updates … and for complete details, see the event’s site at http://appsfire.com/appstar2/ .
Go Ask Alice: Alice’s Adventures – Rabbit Hole Of Death iPhone Game
(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)
Alice In Wonderland has been a popular topic the last couple of years. From the highly anticipated opening of the Tim Burton helmed film starring Johnny Depp to the recent SyFy reimagining (which was just released on DVD), the subject is one that appears to engage people from the time they first hear the story.
So, it is no surprise that there are Alice-themed apps available for the iPhone. One of note is "Alice’s Adventures – Rabbit Hole of Death" [iTunes $0.99] by dev sisters. The game takes one aspect of the story, falling down the rabbit hole and puts you in control of a decidedly older, scantily clad Alice. See, to keep out the riff-raff, the White Rabbit has placed doorways in your path. And not just any doorways, these require you to contort the articulated figure to match the shape of the rapidly approaching opening which you see in a small view on the screen. Make a clean pass and you get maximum points. Just scrape through and you get a few points. Totally miss the shape and Alice has some unkind words for you.
In the early rounds, the shapes are relatively easy and they flow from one to another. In later rounds, you will be challenged to make the proper shape before time runs out. For additional scoring opportunity, two different types of rabbits float by. One gains you extra points, the other subtracts points. In the early rounds, I found it pretty easy to get the figure set up and then grab a few of the beneficial rabbits. In the later rounds, I barely had enough time to get her set and often chose the bad rabbits instead (they are only subtly different).
The animation and character movement in the game is rock solid. There are infinite varieties of positions for Alice’s limbs to assume, many of them hilarious in their own right. The accompanying game music and sound effects add quite a bit to the entertainment, especially Alice’s quips. Each level has a theme as well, but the scenery flies by so quickly you may not get much of a chance to appreciate the details. The game is currently on sale at 99 cents (although ending any minute!), but is well worth the regular price of admission at $1.99 [iTunes].
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz iPhone App – Why Didn’t We Think Of That?
If we were to run a contest, challenging developers to come up with a clever name for their app which uses all the 26 letters of the English alphabet … then this Austrian dude, Jörg Piringer, would be the big winner. No, Jörg’s iPhone app is not “The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog” … he got straight to the point and released … abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.
Besides having an obnoxiously loveable name, the best part is that abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz (FFFFUUUU for making us spell that out) is not even a word game or some type of etymology (look it up – we did) app. Nope … it’s a freaking “sound toy”. You see, Jörg, is what they call, a sound geek … or as he puts it, a “sound poet”. Dude is a member of the Institute for Transacoustic Research and the Vegetable Orchestra (no clue) … so the result of all his musical madness is an extremely 
bizarre, one of a kind, iPhone application.
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz (you bastard Jörg) is sort of like an interpretive dance performance, but with letters. The app’s description reads, “create and control tiny sound-creatures in the shape of letters that react to gravity or each other and generate rhythms and soundscapes.” … huh? … yeah, it’s really hard to describe – just watch Jörg’s demo video below.
Jörg swears up and down that he does not take drugs … but watching his video, really makes us question this claim. We guess abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz (you suck bro!) is pretty cool … but since we are completely sober at the time of this writing (please, no wiseass remarks), we simply cannot get a grip on this visual concept of flying letters and corresponding sounds. Sound geeks … feel free to chime in (see what we did there?) with your opinion.
Star Walk App – Because Having The Entire Universe On Your iPhone Is Freakin’ Cool
We’ve featured a couple of augmented reality applications here on KRAPPS … Nude It lets you see naked people, while Reality Slice helps users slice a pizza into evenly-sized pieces. Nothing earth-shattering, but then again, that’s our wheelhouse.
However today we’ll “buck the norm” and cover an augmented reality app which is … to put it bluntly … freaking insanely awesome! The app is called Star Walk [iTunes $2.99] by Vito Technology Inc. It’s an educational astronomy application which charts stars and planets. Basically what you do is go outside when it’s dark … launch Star Walk … look at the sky through your iPhone (like you’re taking a picture) … and then crap your pants in absolute amazement. Using the iPhone’s GPS feature, Star Walk automatically detects your location and displays, in glorious detail, a live representation of the sky you are looking at … stars, planets constellations and more.
So let’s say you’re done checking out a particular part of the sky … and point your iPhone to a different location. No problem … Star Walk utilizes the iPhone’s 3GS accelerometer and compass to automatically change to the area of the sky you are currently viewing.
Star Walk provides even further awesomeness … touching any object on Star Walk’s live representation screen will give the user detailed information like size, coordinates, etc.
The Time Machine function is another cool feature …sort of like a time-lapse movie of the sky, going from day to night and changing star positions as you advance in time. It’s really remarkable to see the sky in this dynamic state … we were completely in awe.
In addition to the Star Spotter functionality described above, Star Walk has a ton of additional features like … choosing any location in the world and the app will show the corresponding objects in the sky … Astronomy Picture of the Day – an amazing photo gallery, kept fresh on a daily basis … and so much more. To appreciate the full-effect of Star Walk, be sure to check out the demo video at the end of this article.
With its high-quality graphics, outstanding animations, superb sound effects and intuitive UI … Star Walk is an absolute bargain at $2.99. It delivers a wealth of knowledge in a way that is both fun, easy to understand and thoroughly entertaining … totally exceeding our expectations. And we agree with Apple who featured Star Walk as one of the best apps of 2009. We have our own term for these types of gems … anti-KRAPPS. So without a doubt, Star Walk is 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified!
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