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Blister In The Sun

What would life be without the iPhone? Seriously, think about it … no twittering from you iPhone, no uploading pictures to Flickr, no checking the weather or baseball scores, no buying movie tickets, etc. … and those are just the basics. What about the REAL value the iPhone delivers? Life would really suck without these … no portable peep show, no bling, no virtual toilet … heck, you couldn’t even prepare a cup of noodles or hail a cab. Horrible thoughts – we know – our apologies for even going there.

Well folks, life with your iPhone just got even better thanks to the fine folks at Dash Technologies. These brilliant developers have introduced an original app that was clearly missing from the App Store … an app that will change your life forever.

You know how sometimes you go to the beach or the park or wherever, to lay out in the sun. Yeah, catching some rays in hopes of a golden suntan. But getting a suntan is a very complicated process – so many steps involved, so many things to remember. First you have to apply sunscreen to avoid completely frying. Then you have to lay down. Then in efforts to achieve an even tan, you have to turn over. Then you have to reapply sunscreen. Damn … way complicated … and get this, screw up any of these steps … bye bye suntan – hello sunburn.

But like we said, no fear … Dash Technologies simplifies our life with the much needed Suntan Watcher app. This amazing app will take burn out of the sun and replace it with tan. But how do they do this? It’s complicated … sort of like performing neurosurgery … very hard to explain … it’s probably best if you just read the app’s description:

We’ll try our best to put into plain English what you just read … the Suntan Watcher app has three timers that will alert you when it’s time to turn over, reapply suntan lotion or check if your loved ones are getting burned. Follow? I know… it’s tough. Think of it as a watch that tells time – but not just any old ordinary watch … it’s a SUNTAN WATCH.

So rejoice … now even the biggest freaking idiot can enjoy a nice golden suntan with the Suntan Watcher app. Seriously, why would you use the alarm or timer feature that came with your iPhone when you can spend your hard earned money and get a specialized suntan watch/alarm/timer. Now do you see the brilliance of the Suntan Watcher app? Now do you see the value of the iPhone?
Yeah – we don’t either.