SmackDat – An Intimate iPhone Encounter

Although we engage in beatdowns of various apps, we still love our iPhone! It can blow stuffkeep us out of jail … heck, we can even get all hip-hop and wear it as a pimpin’ necklace. But no matter how crazy we are about the iPhone, we will literally not … get crazy.


Seriously, what is with people these days. Just last week, some dude named Sal married Nene Anegasaki. Which is all fine and dandy, except Miss Anegasaki is a freaking video game character! Sal married his virtual girlfriend from the Nintendo DS game, Love Plus. Two words … you eeediot!

Then there are all those creepy iPhone apps which simulate intimate encounters with a woman. With the Kisscomi app, you can kiss a virtual iPhone girl … while the Genie In A Bottle app lets you grope her.

We thought these apps were disturbing until we came across the SmackDat app …



Well we knew the developer was high after just reading the first twelve words of the app’s description …

“SmackDat is a fun, hip way to become intimate with your iPhone”

Huh, it’s hip to be intimate with your iPhone? Uh no dude, it’s f&%cking gross to be intimate with your iPhone … whether you use one or multiple fingers … being intimate with your iPhone is just plain wrong.

“You phone is your new valentine”

id-hit-that-final Seriously dude, WTF … advice – get your head examined! What the hell kind of an app did you develop? We are very afraid and wouldn’t even smack dat with someone else’s unit.

Hmmm … looking back at it now … guess we actually don’t mind dicknose Sal or Kisscomi or Genie In A Bottle. Pretty normal stuff compared to SmackDat because at least these examples involve a pretend girl. SmackDat is just flippin’ psycho because there’s not even a make believe hot chick in the equation … just you getting your freak on with the iPhone.

Argh – bad mental image! Ok, gotta go … think we’re going to be sick!