iPhone Porn And Nudity Drama Continues – More Info

(update 3:00pm PST: Hottest Girls web site, AllenTheGeek.com, has posted a note saying: “Apple has now removed all of our apps from the iTunes store without prior warning. We have yet to hear back from them on this issue.” WOW! Allen had a total of 4 apps – Hottest Girls, Hottest Guys, Send Flowers and EliteBrowser… and just like that, DONE!)

(update 11:30am PST: Hottest Girls developer, Allen Leung, has taken down his website  AllenTheGeek,com (only an email address remains). Is Allen on the run from Hottest Girls customers demanding their money back since the app is no longer working? LOL)

HottestGirlsDelete (update 7:00am PST: Hottest Girls received another “update” … when attempting to launch, the app cleverly informs the user, “This version will no longer work. You should delete this version.”)

LOL … who knew iPhone porn could create such drama. This reads something straight out of a soap opera or the Nip/Tuck television series. Pay close attention and follow along …

So early yesterday morning (12:30am PST) we wrote about developer Allen Leung updating his Hottest Girls app with nude topless sexy girl pictures … thus making Apple history by becoming the first iPhone application to contain nudity. Later that morning (9:30am PST), we updated our post stating Apple pulled Hottest Girls from the App Store. Several hours later, CNN quotes Apple spokesman Tom Neumayer:

Apple will not distribute applications that contain inappropriate content, such as pornography. The developer of this application added inappropriate content directly from their server after the application had been approved and distributed, and after the developer had subsequently been asked to remove some offensive content. This was a direct violation of the terms of the iPhone Developer Program. The application is no longer available on the App Store.

Last night (7:30pm PST), TechCrunch speculated that Apple DID NOT pull the app, rather Allen the developer, voluntarily pulled the Hottest Girls app because the high demand was crashing his servers. Allen didn’t exactly say he pulled the app … rather put a marketing spin to the situation, calling the app “Sold Out”.

HottestGirlsSoldOut

WTF is going on with Apple? They are a JOKE with their idiotic, vague and inconsistent App Store policies. Hey Apple … if you will not distribute pornography, then why the hell do you have a 17+ rating that CLEARLY states INTENSE SEXUAL CONTENT or NUDITY?!?! Here’s a brilliant idea, no pornography? – then bail the rating! – DUH!

17rating

Not to mention the TOP100 app … SHOUTING … “Topless Images Will Be Added … End Of June 2009!!!” (oh krapp, there goes their servers too) … with promises of the Covergirl (“100 Photos Of Bums”), Topless Babes (“100 Topless Models) and Cleavage (“100 Photos Of Cleavages) apps arriving from the same TOP100 developer in July.

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CovergirlPornComingSoon

So stay tuned for more dumbass corporate indecisions from Apple as we continue to monitor the iPhone Spice movement and all its idiotic glory.

June 26, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, News | 164 Comments 

Porn And Nudity Now Available In The App Store

(update 6/26/09 12:30am PST: yet another update. click here for complete details)

(update 6/25/09 9:33am PST: oh Apple, you BIG TEASE! the revolutionary Hottest Girls app has been pulled from the App Store. perhaps too “hot” for the geeks in Cupertino, LOL)

You knew it was coming! … You read the warning signs! … This shouldn’t be a surprise!
But similar to any historic occasion, the magnitude of the event really starts to sink in after it becomes reality. So chew on this for a moment …

Apple’s iPhone App Store now contains NUDITY!

Here, let us repeat that for you so there is no confusion …

Apple approves NUDITY in iPhone apps!
There is PORNOGRAPHY in the App Store!

Thanks to the new Parental Controls in OS 3.0 (the 17+ rating), yesterday, developer Allen Leung updated his Hottest Girls app with nude topless sexy girl pictures … thus making Apple history by becoming the first iPhone application to contain nudity.

HottestGirlsQuote

HottestGirlsTitle

HottestGirlsScreenshot
(image via macenstein)

HottestGirlsRatings

LOL … on Monday, Steve Jobs released a company statement characterizing the App Store as “Revolutionary”. Two days later Steve’s prophecy comes true … PORN … indeed  HottestGirlsNudity11 revolutionary Steve!

So now that we can purchase official Apple endorsed nude porno boobies in the App Store, where do we go from here? Streaming videos … an official Vivid Entertainment app … Adam & Eve catalog … Leisure Suit Larry games … iPlayboy … etc. SHHHHH – do you hear that loud roar? … that’s the Girls Gone Wild franchise going wild over the good news.

And now we have questions for Apple: will they be releasing a new SDK agreement and revising Section 3.3.12 and its “applications must not contain any pornographic material” specification? … is hardcore material cool or just soft porn? … what about male frontal nudity? … or POV porn? … HEY – don’t laugh! … these guidelines are crucial to mister Larry “Hustler” Flynt.

iPlayboy

So on this historic day … we’ll leave you with a tip and a warning:

iPhoneParentalControls11 TIP – parents, if you don’t want your kids to view Apple’s porn (if you do – you’re an IDIOT), go to Settings > General > Restrictions > Enable Restrictions, check Don’t Allow Apps 17+.

WARNING – similar to the fart and bikini girl phenomena, brace yourselves for a massive flood of iPhone porno applications.

Hmmm … those poor Korean secretaries we wrote about … who were forced to pose in the Office Girls app – we guess completely disrobing will now be part of their job security.

(LOL at geeky Apple approved pornography – it probably sucks anyways! – save your $$$)

June 25, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 151 Comments 

Is It An App? – Pinnacle Of A Revolutionary App Store

Back in March, we wrote an article called “The Dumbing Of Apple”. The article featured the Nothing app … an app which does nothing and at the time, carried a 99 cent price tag. jobsiphone111 Seriously -  and no … we’re not drunk. While the Nothing app was essentially a joke by the  developer (to see if Apple would approve such a piece of krapp), Nothing’s approval did raise the question … what is with all this useless trash Apple keeps approving? Shouldn’t there be some sort of basic functionality requirement in an iPhone application … then again, if there was such a requirement, Steve couldn’t make this recent official statement:

“With over 50,000 applications available from Apple’s revolutionary App Store,
iPhone momentum is stronger than ever.”

LOL … Revolutionary App Store. While that may be true to some extent, take a look around this site and you’ll see plenty of App Store drivel which dilutes and discredits that revolutionary 50K figure … disqualification in the App Store pissing contest.

So in the proud tradition of useless trash like the Nothing app … Apple has approved the
Is It An App? app. Seriously -  and no … we’re not drunk. Launch the Is It An App? app and you will be presented a number of random, idiotic and stupid questions with a simple “Yes” or “No” answer: Could you be a part-time model? … Is it the business? … Does it worth? … Is the Great Wall Of China viewable from space? … Is Twitter down?

IsApp3 IsApp5 IsApp6

Wow Apple … thanks for approving this app … always wondered if we needed a vacation. And as we bitched just yesterday about false advertising … we come across another description which is full of BS:

IsItAnAppDescFINAL

Uh NO – this is not an app … Uh YES – it sucks … Uh NO – its not worth the download.

Oh look … a Nothing app copy cat internet meme (sort of an Internet-based inside joke) … HA, HA … you da funny guy developer Shawn. But dude, why you such the Twitter hater? Don’t be a Bitter Bobby – mix in a puppy, it’ll make you feel better … LOL

sroskeTwitter

But yeah, Bitter Bobby … errrr Shawn Roske … does have a point – too much useless trash in the Revolutionary App Store. And memo to “funny guy” devs … you can stop now with the  “make fun of Apple” meme apps … we get it – Apple approve KRAPPS … no need to exacerbate this Revolutionary problem – you are preaching to the choir.

June 24, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 11 Comments 

The Perez Hilton Will.I.Am Of iPhone Apps

So did you hear about the DRAMA between Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton? Pretty hysterical stuff. Will.I.Am accuses Perez Hilton of disrespecting the band and leading lady Fergie … Perez Hilton accuses Will.I.Am’s security guard of punching him in the face … Perez Hilton tweets the punching incident on Twitter … Will.I.Am makes a video response giving his side of the story, indicating a random fan punched Hilton … Perez Hilton makes a profanity laden video response to Will.I.Am’s video … then Will.I.Am makes another video response to Hilton’s video.

PerezHiltonVideo11  Will.I.AmVideo11

LOL … both of you … shut the hell up already! What is with all this video garbage? Yeah guys … way to use your status and social media for something constructive.

Will.I.Am – get some thicker skin man! you should be way above some dumbass spat with a two-bit celebrity dirt writer. why escalate such nonsense? yeah we get the “I am human – I have feelings too  you know” part … but come on, why waste a single ounce of energy on such drivel? did you miss that day in kindergarten where they taught – “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”? have some faith in humanity, they’ll make the proper judgment.

Perez – dude, boo freaking hoo … cry us a river! it comes with the territory … piss enough liar-liar-pants-on-fire people off, you will get punched. this shouldn’t come as a big surprise. oh and nice “No Hate” pants you wear … you joke!

So who punched Perez Hitlon … a Will.I.Am security guard (as Perez states) or some random fan (as Will.I.Am states)? LOL … whatever … who cares. What we do find hysterical is the LIAR, LIAR aspect of the story … someone is obviously not telling the truth, leaving the tax payers money to figure this garbage out … thanks fellas!

And this brings us to our next iPhone application … ShakeTheGirl by Netfinity Digital Media. Yet another sexploitation app … albeit an original. Launch app … select a hot chick’s picture … shake the iPhone – hot chick’s clothes fly off leaving her NAKED.

ShakeTheGirlDescFINAL11

Cool … another Apple first … a naked hot chicks app for only 99 cents. Or so we thought … until we visited the ShakeTheGirl web site and checked out the demonstration video. Maybe it’s just us … do you see any naked hot chicks?

 

LIAR, LIAR … what a bunch of krapp … naked girls where? Seriously, can developers claim anything in their app descriptions? Wouldn’t it behoove Apple to check every description for accuracy, profanity, age rating, etc? “But KRAPPS … it’s not feasible to check every aspect of an app … there are too many of them and simply impossible”. YAWN … give it up … would it kill Apple to invest in the quality of the approval process and hire some more freaking App Review employees … whether it’s the initial approval, an update or a simple post-approval description change?

And Netfinity …. watch yourself with the BS naked girls claim … trying to sucker some poor saps like us? Talk to Perez Hilton … piss off enough people and you will get smacked. Although in the iPhone world, things are different … someone (perhaps a KRAPPS. We. Are security guard) will whip out the iFight Pro app and BOOM BOOM POW your false advertising ass … LOL!

June 23, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 19 Comments 

iPhone Apps For Your Private Parts

Ok … we had a enough. We looked the other way long enough … today something needs to be said …

If You Use Your iPhone As A Sex Toy – You’re An IDIOT!

iVibrateMeDesc

Seriously, freaking control yourself – what are you, an animal? You use the damn thing to make phone calls, text messages, email, Twitter, listen to music, check sports scores and millions of other iPhone uses … do you really think you your poor iPhone wants to be hanging out in your freaking crotch? HELL NO (how do we know? – the iPhone told us – we’re like that Dog Whisperer dude for iPhones) … show the thing some respect – this is an iPhone people – keep it above the belt.

And STEVE?!?! … what is this you dirty dog … iVibrateMe – “great for your special private areas” … “satisfy your needs” … “relieve pent-up stress”. So Apple, you mean to tell us this kind of app description is ok for all viewing audiences yet Cock-A-Doodle-Do and Fartknocker get zapped by your profanity filter? WTH is this?

Fartknocker  CockADoodleDo

Now look, nothing against these types of pleasure aids … but here’s some sound advice … next time you plan to visit the Apple Store for your sex toy needs, mix in a little www.MyPleasure.com – (there’s a good idea … “excuse me Mr. Apple Store Employee – can you recommend the best vibrator sex toy application?” … LOL).

Which brings us to our next app … the MyVibe app. Yeah, it’s the same “great for your special areas” functionality, but we just love the “suggested use situations” …

MyVibeDesc

“at your desk” … “in your car stuck in traffic” … “at the movies” … LOL – yeah, thank goodness Apple stopped those horrible innuendos of Fartknocker and Cock-A-Doodle-Do!

But this all leaves us confused … because it’s a well known fact that Apple rejects applications that link directly to objectionable material from within the app. So why on Earth is it ok to link the MyPleasure.com logo from within the MyVibe app directly to a Sex Toys and Adult Toy Store? And why is MyVibe, with its direct Adult Toy Store link, ok for 4 year olds? Do you really want to explain Sex Toys to your 4 year old … if your answer is yes … you’re an IDIOT! (and so is Apple).

MyVibe4  MyVibeScreenshot

MyPleasureWeb

June 22, 2009 | Filed Under Health | 41 Comments 

Recap: Week Of June 15

iphonekrappsV1GIF In case you missed any of the festivities, quick links to this week’s articles.

June 15: “Intercourse” Is A Bad Word – we applaud Apple & provide a tool for developers

June 16: iPhone App Teaches How To Touch A Woman’s Body – yes we are being serious!

June 17: Not Your Ordinary Tickle App – a video tribute to the funniest iPhone app

June 18: The Most Blatant Sexploitation In An iPhone App – you gotta see it to believe it!

June 19: God Is A Geek – and there’s humor in Heaven – it’s all good!

June 20: iPhone Devs – Make Your Apps Talk With VoiceForge – technology pushing creativity & originality

June 21: Thank You KRAPPS Sponsors – these guys rock! check them out & show some love

June 21, 2009 | Filed Under Recap | Leave a Comment 

Thank You KRAPPS Sponsors

We would like to take a brief timeout to thank our valued sponsors. Without their support, there would be no KRAPPS (uh, that doesn’t sound right). All these peeps are solid folks, have quality products and we’re proud to be aligned with them. So support KRAPPS, show our sponsors some love … you’ll become a better person.

Be Seen With KRAPPS
KRAPPS is the only web site dedicated to iPhone humor and fun. Take advantage of our unique niche by advertising on KRAPPS. We offer four different sponsorship packages to ensure participation at a variety of budget levels. Contact us at info@KRAPPS.com to receive our media kit, rate card and to secure your advertising placement.

ThankYouPres

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screen_5 Ow My Balls!
Ow My Balls! is a hysterical iPhone game centered around the mishaps of Joe The Juggler. Kick Juggler Joe off the ledge of a tall building … and he cries out – “OW MY BALLS!” As Joe falls, hit objects to score points and ignite the fart jetpack to make him travel the longest distance possible before making impact with the ground and crying out - 
“OW MY BALLS!” This high quality game contains outstanding hand-drawn graphics, hilarious custom recorded sounds and user-friendly controls. Plus you have the ability to record your own “OW MY BALLS!” sound effect to use within the game. A bargain at only 99 cents … click here to purchase OW MY BALLS via iTunes or read our extensive review.

hideNtweet22 hideNtweet
With the amount of garbage in the App Store, the hideNtweet app is a breath of fresh air. It is a totally unique and original game specifically designed for the iPhone. Think the classic children’s game Hide And Seek … now bring Hide And Seek to the iPhone, couple that with GPS technology and Twitter … and voila – hideNtweet. This app is currently in beta and being developed by Dove Valley Apps. Click here to read our review. Better yet, experience this extraordinary gaming experience yourself … click here to become a beta user.

100soundsThankYou 100sounds
There’s a reason 100sounds is the #1 soundboard app … cuz it rocks! This app not only provides hundreds of high quality originally recorded sound effects, but also includes loop and delay effects for all your comedic purposes. Plus you can get hundreds of ringtones emailed to you, automatically, at no extra charge! 100sounds was already a bargain at $0.99, so this enhancement makes it a great deal! Click here to view web site, be sure to check out the hysterical user-submitted videos.

VoiceForge VoiceForge: We Build Voices® –
We Make the Internet Talk®
Attention iPhone developers – VoiceForge is an online Text-to-Speech service. They’ve made TTS fast, affordable, and scalable! Tap a huge variety of 60 voices in 5 languages. Using their SOAP based API, simply send text, indicate the voice, and receive back a MP3 or URL. And it’s fast – just 200 milliseconds for audio to be returned. Big fish no problem; our capacity exceeds 100 million synthesis per day. Consumers love personalization – why not "pimp your app" by letting users pick the voice they like? Click here to receive more info, try the demo, or sign up for a free developer’s kit.

DrinkTracker Ad DrinkTracker – The Breathalyzer iPhone App
Don’t drink and drive! True words, but easier said than done. This is where DrinkTracker comes into play – your personal “alcohol conscious” – helping you to drink responsibly. DrinkTracker calculates your blood alcohol content (BAC) based on your profile and updates every 60 seconds. This is an extremely feature-rich breathalyzer app and at $1.99, a no-brainer bargain buy. Click here to visit the DrinkTracker site for complete details and a fantastic demo video.

BinaryGameThankYou2 Binary Game
Simply put, this app makes you smarter! Binary Game gets your brain juices flowing and is a ton of fun. It’s an original game of binary math which is simple to play and highly addictive. The worldwide leader board satisfies the most uber-competitive gamer, while the Facebook Connect feature pleases those social types. Click here to read our review or click here to purchase from the App Store, click here.

Wordulous 99 Games
99 Games is an exceptional game developer cranking out such iPhone classics as WordsWorth (ranked as high #1 in the word game category), Chess Pro, Chess Lite, Aqua Jigsaw, and Jigsaw Wild. Their latest offering is Wordulous … an anagram like no others: multiple modes, global scores, Facebook Connect and more. 99 Games is committed to building only the highest quality and most entertaining games possible … all at affordable prices. Click here for our review.

iFightThankYou iFight Pro
This app is a blast! To really appreciate iFight Pro, click here and take a quick look at a demonstration video – it’s really cool. Combine a handgun, rifle, shotgun, slap, whip, gong, sword or punch with one of the eight background music tracks – and you’ll be awarded with a pure quality, enormously fun iPhone app.

June 21, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, News | 1 Comment 

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