<warning>prepare to be shocked, disgusted, appalled and saddened by Apple</warning>
It all started out so innocent. We created a site that poked fun of the utterly lame and idiotic iPhone apps: Amulet … an app which transforms your iPhone into jewelry and enables you to wear it as a necklace. Mr. Menstrual Calendar App Title Creator … the poor soul who has to come up with names for the dozens of menstrual calendar apps (Lady Biz, AuntFlo, Fem Days, etc.). Hold The Button … a game where the objective is to touch the button on your iPhone’s screen and not let go, like forever.
All these apps are stupid and pointless … but in the grand scheme of things, fairly innocent stuff … no harm, no foul.
Well flash forward to March 2009 … this whole “no harm, no foul” concept is a thing of the past. Apple is on a path of reckless abandon … pedal to the metal baby … more apps … more profit … screw quality, let’s approve everything!
As pointed out in yesterday’s We Got your Cure! article … Apple is getting dangerously close to approving something that is truly disgusting and offensive for the public domain. Now trust us, it was NOT our intention to become the voice of morality … that’s just not our gig (hey, our house would shatter if we threw a stones in it). But lately Apple has been forcing our hand on this ethics thing, so we just call ‘em like we see ‘em.
So an app launched yesterday and we think it’s safe to say … this is Apple’s biggest FAIL to date. It’s not that this app is stupid, strange or simply a piece of sh*t (although some may beg to differ) … the problem with this app is two-fold … read on …
Sexy Spinna is a “spice up your life” app … basically Love Dice meets iPhone
So we think most of you get the gist of the app … if not, then you probably want to stop reading right about now. Ok … Love Dice … fair enough … heck, if Sexy Spinna can enhance a couple’s relationship, more power to its developers – iShakeapps. Now our problem with Sexy Spinna is their description. The app is customizable … you can add “sexy” words to customize the heat of the “love spice” you are attempting to achieve. iShakeapps gives you examples of sexy customizable words. See app’s description below
Sorry about the blackout … but we are not even willing to display the word on KRAPPS. Which is saying a lot because we don’t exactly have the vocabulary of a f’ing choir boy. But I guess Apple is down with the “C” word … Apple rolls like that – using the “C” word to sell and describe their apps. What’s next Apple, employees at the Apple Store wearing t-shirts with a clever marketing “C” word tagline? And WTF are you thinking rating this app suitable for 12 year old children? Are you f’ing out of your mind? Go ask any parent who has a kid in 6th grade if they think it’s ok for their 12 year old to say the “C” word, yet alone see it in print. Yeah Apple … gee, never thought of that? … you can rate an app 12+, but children can still READ THE “C” WORD IN PRINT!!
Again … sorry folks … totally not our intention to ride the Social Conscience Horse … but when Apple is more focused on approving apps just for the sake of winning a pissing match with the Blackberry (ha! ha! look at me – I am Apple! I have 30 thousand apps … ha! ha! Blackberry you suck … you have less than a thousand apps … ha! ha! I am Apple … I piss on Blackberry!), well we got to call ‘em out. The “C” word is appalling and highly offensive … it flat out does not belong in the App Store … period! Apple – YOU SUCK!