-
-
-
-
Search
SUBSCRIBE
-
Recently Written
- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
- Wii iPhone 4 iOS Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Slap A Sexy Belly, Make Music, Huh? – Belly Jam iPhone App [Video]
- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
- Sexy Star Wars Pinups – EWWW!
- Weird Stuff From Japan – iPhone 4 Sushi Case
- MegaMan iPhone iOS 4 Home Screen Wallpaper Collection [Download]
-
Categories
-
Archives
- August 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
-
OMG, This Screenshot Frightens Us, YEEEOW!
We must admit, the Yau’s Collection Of Asian Boobs app intrigues us. How can we resist? As described below, this dude Yau collects erotic photos with an emphasis on the visual artistics (not exactly sure that means, but it sounds impressive). Never mind pretty Asian girls in sexy cloths (what?) posing in sexy positions … give us visual artistics!
And then we get to the collection of screenshots. Nice … “Lots Of Asian Beauties”. Oh and beauty #1, definitely visually artistic!
But wait! What’s that hiding behind door #3? We can’t quite make it out … let’s scroll over and take a closer look at Yau’s next example of visual art …
.
.
.
.
.
.
YEEEEOW YAU! WTH?!? Why is this girl about to take a dump on our iPhone? Is this some kind of a sick joke? Or perhaps the App Store’s first “BA” app? Like the F-YOUize app, guess it could come in handy sending someone a not so subtle message. But damn woman … lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground!
Update: Well it seems Apple was not impressed with Mister Yau’s visually artistic rendition of a bare ass. While the application remains for sale, the screenshot has been removed from iTunes.
Girls, Toilet Paper And Batteries – Apps That Leave Us Confuzzled
Confuzzled [-verb] – a combination of being confused and puzzled, not knowing what the F is going on: What the hell’s going on? I’m confuzzled? (per Urban Dictionary).
Confuzzled is the perfect word to describe our state of mind after coming across these next apps. If anyone can shed some light on these enigmas, we could actually rest easy and finally get some sleep. Thank you!
In our “How To SUCK At Selling iPhone Apps” article, we noted several surefire ways of achieving zero sales … Be A Douchebag, Be A Pothead, Be A Hater, Be Blunt. Guess we need to add another one to the list … Be Honest.
Battery Status (5% Accurate) … while we appreciate MeachWare’s honesty, it’s probably not the best idea to highlight the fact that your measurement app is only five percent accurate. Come on dude, those are some very shitty performance specs. Honesty will get you into Heaven, but it won’t get you on our iPhone.
We like girls. We like toilet paper. But sometimes things are just mutually exclusive.
Toilet Paper Babe … huh? … sexy hot Japanese chicks wrapped in/on toilet paper? Oh how we love the Japanese and their cutting edge sex trends. But think we’ll pass on these ass paper babes and stick with yummy sushi girls.
A Collection Of Ridiculous iPhone Boob Apps
A couple of months ago, we ran a story … “Boobs” – The App Store’s New Buzzword … in which we detailed Apple lightening up and allowing developers to use the word “boobs” in app titles. At that time, there were only four apps which contained the word “boob” in their title. Two months later … surprise, surprise … nearly 100.
Now we get the whole “man’s fascination with boobs” thing … or maybe it’s the new German study which concludes – stare at women’s breasts for 10 minutes a day increases your life span. But we also find it hysterical how a pair of mammary glands can reduce the male species to a bunch of blubbering morons. And of course developers are attempting to take advantage of these Pavlov dogs by publishing some absolutely stellar boob apps.
Boobs & Explosions – Because “the man favorite combo” of hearing crazy explosions while staring at boobs makes us feel like … well … manly men.
A Free Boob App – Marketing 101 states your product should have a clear and effective name … probably not the best idea to take this advice too literally.
Boob News – One can never have enough “high quality and the most informative boob news and articles from around the world”!
Boobs² and Boobs³ – Decisions, decisions … Boobs Squared or Boobs Cubed? Not sure if the folks at Feather & Moor were just trying to one-up developer Ben Cousins or if they have some disturbing cyborg fetish going on. EWWW!
Boob Trading Cards – We’ll trade our Britney Spears boob card for your Kim Kardashian boob card … deal?
iChug Times How Fast You Chug A Beer – Frat Boys Rejoice
Did you know KRAPPS is in a fraternity? An iPhone frat. And just like your typical frat, it’s filled with the grossest apps available … puking, farting, pissing, belching, zit picking, loogy hawking, etc. Yeah baby … Appa iFonna Chi … that’s how we roll!
So it’s all good at Appa iFonna Chi, except for this one reoccurring problem … our daily beer chugging contests. Seems the brothers take their brew pounding way too seriously and no matter how hard we try, we can never accurately determine proper chug time. It’s an honor to be recognized as the fastest beer drinker at Appa iFonna Chi (or any frat for that matter), so measuring precise chug time is critical to the long- term success of our organization. Plus it minimizes the drunken fisticuffs – little bitches whining about who had the fastest result.
Well thanks to the brilliant minds at Icon Entertainment and their revolutionary new app … iChug … frat boy bitch fights are a thing of the past.
All the brothers at Appa iFonna Chi agree, we love iChug! Icon Entertainment really nailed it, leveraging the iPhone’s accelerometer, coupled with complex mathematical formulas to accurately determine chug times. And iChug is so simple to use, even us frat boys can do it. Hold iChug against your beer … press “Play” … start chugging … upon finishing your beer and returning the drink/iPhone back to its starting position, iChug measures and displays your chug time to the one hundredth of a second (it’s like freaking Olympic timing good).
One thing we’d love to see Icon Entertainment include in a future update is a worldwide leaderboard. This global ranking would prove once and for all that Appa iFonna Chi is superior to that other pathetic excuse for a frat … Googela Androida Omega.
Oh and be sure to check out the steamy iChug promo video below. Never mind the dueling douchebags, the real talent in this clip are the hot chicks pouring beer over each other (relevant? probably not … but who cares … these are hot chicks with beer). Ahhh, now there’s an idea for our next app and Appa iFonna Chi’s little sisters.
Drunken Girls – Another Proud App Store Moment
This next application has us at a total loss for words. So rather than making you read through 400 words of clever editorial ramblings, we’ll just shut up and leave you with Drunken Girls (sorry, there really is an app for that).
Honestly, we expected a bit more titillation from this app … not a bunch of comatose girls who look like they’re about to puke. Damn there are some sick fetishes out there!
iBoobOrButt – Cleavage And Crack Are So Confusing
Have you ever been checking out a girl’s rack, only to find out that you’ve really been staring at her bootylicious? Or how about a fine rear-end which turns out to be completely oppo … it’s her headlights. OUCH – embarrassing!
But hey, don’t feel bad … it’s tough distinguishing between cleavage and butt cracks. All fault lines kinda do look the same. And if anyone tells you they have no problem with boobs versus butts … meh, they’re fargin iceholes.
So to help get you on your “A” game, the good folks at Goruk have released the perfect tool to help train you properly identify those certain girl parts … the iBoobOrButt app.
Similar to a baseball player fielding ground ball after ground ball … no more boobs and butts you see, the better you’ll get at recognizing them. Remember kids, practice makes perfect.
iBoobOrButt first presents a select part of the female anatomy … while the rest of the body is hidden. You only have five seconds (no one said this was going to be easy) to correctly determine if the full image are boobs or a butt. Oh and look … too cool of Goruk to include an online leaderboard.
LOL … a portal of the classic online game … Boobs, Butt or Shoulder (sans shoulder of course, Goruk got lazy?) that will have the opportunity to mock and shame millions of iPhone users. Ha!
New iPhone App Can Be Programmed To Display Porn
It’s a well known fact that Apple does not tolerate porn in the App Store … “Apple will not distribute applications that contain inappropriate content, such as pornography,” said Apple spokesman Tom Neumayer in an official company statement last June. If porn somehow does manage to find a way into an app (we’ve detailed 5 cases of in-app pornography), Apple lowers its mighty ban hammer and the offending application is quickly removed.
But gosh darnit … this is porn. And when there’s a will, there’s a way … just ask Charles Rodriguez, president of iPhone app publishing company, iHustleApps. For months Charles racked his brain, trying to figure out the way to his will … nude female images within an Apple-approved native app, while avoiding the ban hammer. And what Charles came up with is an App Store first … the forChan app.
On the surface, forChan seems unique, interesting and innovative … a web browser wrapped into a photo viewing application. Connect to any imageboard site and forChan presents the content in convenient thumbnail and full-size views. You can emails photos, view as a slideshow, save to your iPhone, shake to refresh images and more. The app’s default URL is set to an imageboard displaying dozens of cuddly canines.
But don’t judge an app by its cover. In a few simple steps …
Step 1: Download forChan
Step 2: Via your iPhone, visit iHustleApps.com/iPhone and press the “forChan” button
Step 3: Select one of the 15 “adults only” categories
Step 4: Copy the displayed URL to your clipboard
Step 5: Paste the URL in the Store URL section of forChan
… those adorable doggies become a bevy of uncensored XXX bliss, with all its flick and pinch glory. YOWZA!
“It’s important to note that forChan does not contain an Easter egg. There is no code within the actual app which enables the adults only feature. We simply programmed it with dual functionality,” said Charles. “All content is delivered by our company’s servers.” Charles continued, “Using forChan in this capacity is no different than visiting an adults only site with a web browser app purchased from iTunes.”
Hmmm … ok, fair enough – a web browser. Like we said … when there’s a will, there’s a way. And since ultimately it’s the user enabling the adult content in forChan, perhaps iHustleApps will indeed avoid Apple’s ban hammer.
-
-
-
-
Social KRAPPS
-
-
-
-
Email
Twitter
FriendFeed
Flickr
YouTube
