iPhone Porn And Nudity Drama Continues – More Info

(update 3:00pm PST: Hottest Girls web site, AllenTheGeek.com, has posted a note saying: “Apple has now removed all of our apps from the iTunes store without prior warning. We have yet to hear back from them on this issue.” WOW! Allen had a total of 4 apps – Hottest Girls, Hottest Guys, Send Flowers and EliteBrowser… and just like that, DONE!)

(update 11:30am PST: Hottest Girls developer, Allen Leung, has taken down his website  AllenTheGeek,com (only an email address remains). Is Allen on the run from Hottest Girls customers demanding their money back since the app is no longer working? LOL)

HottestGirlsDelete (update 7:00am PST: Hottest Girls received another “update” … when attempting to launch, the app cleverly informs the user, “This version will no longer work. You should delete this version.”)

LOL … who knew iPhone porn could create such drama. This reads something straight out of a soap opera or the Nip/Tuck television series. Pay close attention and follow along …

So early yesterday morning (12:30am PST) we wrote about developer Allen Leung updating his Hottest Girls app with nude topless sexy girl pictures … thus making Apple history by becoming the first iPhone application to contain nudity. Later that morning (9:30am PST), we updated our post stating Apple pulled Hottest Girls from the App Store. Several hours later, CNN quotes Apple spokesman Tom Neumayer:

Apple will not distribute applications that contain inappropriate content, such as pornography. The developer of this application added inappropriate content directly from their server after the application had been approved and distributed, and after the developer had subsequently been asked to remove some offensive content. This was a direct violation of the terms of the iPhone Developer Program. The application is no longer available on the App Store.

Last night (7:30pm PST), TechCrunch speculated that Apple DID NOT pull the app, rather Allen the developer, voluntarily pulled the Hottest Girls app because the high demand was crashing his servers. Allen didn’t exactly say he pulled the app … rather put a marketing spin to the situation, calling the app “Sold Out”.

HottestGirlsSoldOut

WTF is going on with Apple? They are a JOKE with their idiotic, vague and inconsistent App Store policies. Hey Apple … if you will not distribute pornography, then why the hell do you have a 17+ rating that CLEARLY states INTENSE SEXUAL CONTENT or NUDITY?!?! Here’s a brilliant idea, no pornography? – then bail the rating! – DUH!

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Not to mention the TOP100 app … SHOUTING … “Topless Images Will Be Added … End Of June 2009!!!” (oh krapp, there goes their servers too) … with promises of the Covergirl (“100 Photos Of Bums”), Topless Babes (“100 Topless Models) and Cleavage (“100 Photos Of Cleavages) apps arriving from the same TOP100 developer in July.

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So stay tuned for more dumbass corporate indecisions from Apple as we continue to monitor the iPhone Spice movement and all its idiotic glory.

June 26, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, News | 164 Comments 

Porn And Nudity Now Available In The App Store

(update 6/26/09 12:30am PST: yet another update. click here for complete details)

(update 6/25/09 9:33am PST: oh Apple, you BIG TEASE! the revolutionary Hottest Girls app has been pulled from the App Store. perhaps too “hot” for the geeks in Cupertino, LOL)

You knew it was coming! … You read the warning signs! … This shouldn’t be a surprise!
But similar to any historic occasion, the magnitude of the event really starts to sink in after it becomes reality. So chew on this for a moment …

Apple’s iPhone App Store now contains NUDITY!

Here, let us repeat that for you so there is no confusion …

Apple approves NUDITY in iPhone apps!
There is PORNOGRAPHY in the App Store!

Thanks to the new Parental Controls in OS 3.0 (the 17+ rating), yesterday, developer Allen Leung updated his Hottest Girls app with nude topless sexy girl pictures … thus making Apple history by becoming the first iPhone application to contain nudity.

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(image via macenstein)

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LOL … on Monday, Steve Jobs released a company statement characterizing the App Store as “Revolutionary”. Two days later Steve’s prophecy comes true … PORN … indeed  HottestGirlsNudity11 revolutionary Steve!

So now that we can purchase official Apple endorsed nude porno boobies in the App Store, where do we go from here? Streaming videos … an official Vivid Entertainment app … Adam & Eve catalog … Leisure Suit Larry games … iPlayboy … etc. SHHHHH – do you hear that loud roar? … that’s the Girls Gone Wild franchise going wild over the good news.

And now we have questions for Apple: will they be releasing a new SDK agreement and revising Section 3.3.12 and its “applications must not contain any pornographic material” specification? … is hardcore material cool or just soft porn? … what about male frontal nudity? … or POV porn? … HEY – don’t laugh! … these guidelines are crucial to mister Larry “Hustler” Flynt.

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So on this historic day … we’ll leave you with a tip and a warning:

iPhoneParentalControls11 TIP – parents, if you don’t want your kids to view Apple’s porn (if you do – you’re an IDIOT), go to Settings > General > Restrictions > Enable Restrictions, check Don’t Allow Apps 17+.

WARNING – similar to the fart and bikini girl phenomena, brace yourselves for a massive flood of iPhone porno applications.

Hmmm … those poor Korean secretaries we wrote about … who were forced to pose in the Office Girls app – we guess completely disrobing will now be part of their job security.

(LOL at geeky Apple approved pornography – it probably sucks anyways! – save your $$$)

June 25, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 151 Comments 

Is It An App? – Pinnacle Of A Revolutionary App Store

Back in March, we wrote an article called “The Dumbing Of Apple”. The article featured the Nothing app … an app which does nothing and at the time, carried a 99 cent price tag. jobsiphone111 Seriously -  and no … we’re not drunk. While the Nothing app was essentially a joke by the  developer (to see if Apple would approve such a piece of krapp), Nothing’s approval did raise the question … what is with all this useless trash Apple keeps approving? Shouldn’t there be some sort of basic functionality requirement in an iPhone application … then again, if there was such a requirement, Steve couldn’t make this recent official statement:

“With over 50,000 applications available from Apple’s revolutionary App Store,
iPhone momentum is stronger than ever.”

LOL … Revolutionary App Store. While that may be true to some extent, take a look around this site and you’ll see plenty of App Store drivel which dilutes and discredits that revolutionary 50K figure … disqualification in the App Store pissing contest.

So in the proud tradition of useless trash like the Nothing app … Apple has approved the
Is It An App? app. Seriously -  and no … we’re not drunk. Launch the Is It An App? app and you will be presented a number of random, idiotic and stupid questions with a simple “Yes” or “No” answer: Could you be a part-time model? … Is it the business? … Does it worth? … Is the Great Wall Of China viewable from space? … Is Twitter down?

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Wow Apple … thanks for approving this app … always wondered if we needed a vacation. And as we bitched just yesterday about false advertising … we come across another description which is full of BS:

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Uh NO – this is not an app … Uh YES – it sucks … Uh NO – its not worth the download.

Oh look … a Nothing app copy cat internet meme (sort of an Internet-based inside joke) … HA, HA … you da funny guy developer Shawn. But dude, why you such the Twitter hater? Don’t be a Bitter Bobby – mix in a puppy, it’ll make you feel better … LOL

sroskeTwitter

But yeah, Bitter Bobby … errrr Shawn Roske … does have a point – too much useless trash in the Revolutionary App Store. And memo to “funny guy” devs … you can stop now with the  “make fun of Apple” meme apps … we get it – Apple approve KRAPPS … no need to exacerbate this Revolutionary problem – you are preaching to the choir.

June 24, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 11 Comments 

The Perez Hilton Will.I.Am Of iPhone Apps

So did you hear about the DRAMA between Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton? Pretty hysterical stuff. Will.I.Am accuses Perez Hilton of disrespecting the band and leading lady Fergie … Perez Hilton accuses Will.I.Am’s security guard of punching him in the face … Perez Hilton tweets the punching incident on Twitter … Will.I.Am makes a video response giving his side of the story, indicating a random fan punched Hilton … Perez Hilton makes a profanity laden video response to Will.I.Am’s video … then Will.I.Am makes another video response to Hilton’s video.

PerezHiltonVideo11  Will.I.AmVideo11

LOL … both of you … shut the hell up already! What is with all this video garbage? Yeah guys … way to use your status and social media for something constructive.

Will.I.Am – get some thicker skin man! you should be way above some dumbass spat with a two-bit celebrity dirt writer. why escalate such nonsense? yeah we get the “I am human – I have feelings too  you know” part … but come on, why waste a single ounce of energy on such drivel? did you miss that day in kindergarten where they taught – “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”? have some faith in humanity, they’ll make the proper judgment.

Perez – dude, boo freaking hoo … cry us a river! it comes with the territory … piss enough liar-liar-pants-on-fire people off, you will get punched. this shouldn’t come as a big surprise. oh and nice “No Hate” pants you wear … you joke!

So who punched Perez Hitlon … a Will.I.Am security guard (as Perez states) or some random fan (as Will.I.Am states)? LOL … whatever … who cares. What we do find hysterical is the LIAR, LIAR aspect of the story … someone is obviously not telling the truth, leaving the tax payers money to figure this garbage out … thanks fellas!

And this brings us to our next iPhone application … ShakeTheGirl by Netfinity Digital Media. Yet another sexploitation app … albeit an original. Launch app … select a hot chick’s picture … shake the iPhone – hot chick’s clothes fly off leaving her NAKED.

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Cool … another Apple first … a naked hot chicks app for only 99 cents. Or so we thought … until we visited the ShakeTheGirl web site and checked out the demonstration video. Maybe it’s just us … do you see any naked hot chicks?

 

LIAR, LIAR … what a bunch of krapp … naked girls where? Seriously, can developers claim anything in their app descriptions? Wouldn’t it behoove Apple to check every description for accuracy, profanity, age rating, etc? “But KRAPPS … it’s not feasible to check every aspect of an app … there are too many of them and simply impossible”. YAWN … give it up … would it kill Apple to invest in the quality of the approval process and hire some more freaking App Review employees … whether it’s the initial approval, an update or a simple post-approval description change?

And Netfinity …. watch yourself with the BS naked girls claim … trying to sucker some poor saps like us? Talk to Perez Hilton … piss off enough people and you will get smacked. Although in the iPhone world, things are different … someone (perhaps a KRAPPS. We. Are security guard) will whip out the iFight Pro app and BOOM BOOM POW your false advertising ass … LOL!

June 23, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 19 Comments 

The Most Blatant Sexploitation In An iPhone App

MSHOT is a Korean-based iPhone app development company. You probably never heard of them … which is a good thing … because there’s something very strange going on at their  offices and frankly, we are concerned!

Last month, MSHOT released the Office Girls app … one of those typical “Oh Sexy Baby – Let Me Touchy Touchy” wallpaper apps. Fair enough … there’s like a million of them … who cares. True – but upon further review, it seems management at MSHOT has been pressuring female employees into provocative poses in exchange for their job security …

OfficeGirlsDesc

WTH is this? … “These pretty secretaries who live perky lives, gladly volunteered to be our models” … YEAH RIGHT! They better agree to this blatant sexploitation if they want to remain MSHOT employees. Come on … pimping out your own personnel? What kind of business do you guys run? – software firm? – don’t think so. Mix in a little sexual harassment charges over at MSHOT … just look at these pics from the Office Girls app:

hey there hot MSHOT secretary … unbutton that blouse of yours and show us your sexy black bra … smile, you’ll be in our Office Girls app and YOU WILL LIKE IT!

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yeah that’s it secretary babe … hike up that red dress way high … love the plunging neckline … this will be perfect for our Office Girls app and YOU WILL LIKE IT!

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oh, never mind us … keep talking on the phone … we’re just trying to get a boob shot for our Office Girls app and YOU WILL LIKE IT!

OfficeGirls4

But unfortunately the madness of MSHOT continues. They’re now branching out beyond their immediate office location and terrorizing innocent young Korean hot chicks throughout the country. Yesterday MSHOT released the Pocket Girls app (no relation to the Pocket God app)  … bragging about their persuasive techniques on unsuspecting Asian girls …

PocketGirlsDescFINAL

Again … WTH is this? The description sounds like something you’d find in the slave trader oriented movie Taken (great flick, by the way) … “Purchasing this application enables us to find and recruit new Asian girls and persuade them into lingerie shots” … are you F’ing kidding!?!? Who the hell even thinks like this, yet alone writes this stuff as a sales tool. We’re not exactly sure what’s more “amusing”, the Pocket Girls description or the actual images it contains:

great job sexy lingerie ladies … pretend you’re sleeping … spoon up real close …
give her a nice “courtesy touch” … excellent
(oh krapp, we misspelled pocket … screw it, Apple won’t notice)

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are you kidding me? … is that all you got? … come on! let’s go! … wider, wider, wider
LOL … easy lady … you’ll end up pulling a groin muscle

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that’s the money shot … sleeping in lingerie … looking so sexy and vulnerable
LOL … who the hell sleeps like this?

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WOW … Office and Pocket Girls … is this where Apple is taking us with yesterday’s OS3 launch and the subsequent Parental Controls? Oh what the hell … we’ll take it … we look at it as job security (and we don’t even have to pose in our sexy lingerie).

June 18, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 1 Comment 

Not Your Ordinary Tickle App

A video tribute to the funniest iPhone app available to date … sorry folks, we had to do it

(please switch man-child mentality to “ON” and push “PLAY”)

(we can’t stop laughing!)

June 17, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 14 Comments 

iPhone App Teaches How To Touch A Woman’s Body

BikiniBlast Similar to fart apps which began appearing back in December, the latest App Store rage are those Sexy Hot Chick Wallpaper apps. Trying to decide which babelicious wallpaper app to download is similar to making a selection from the 250 beers available at the Yard House restaurant … the possibilities are overwhelming –> blondes, brunettes, Japanese, American, Korean, Russian, bikini, lingerie, sexy cops, naughty nurses, horny maids, soccer sluts, MILF’s, spring break coeds … LOL – WTF people … step away from the Do Me Baby wallpaper apps and find yourself a real live Do Me Baby … trust us, it’s much better this way.

“But KRAPPS, I tried finding a real Do Me Baby … but I can’t. It’s much easier just to download them to my iPhone. I even tried those pickup line apps … they don’t work … no live Do Me Baby will do me.”

large_superbad Fear not you sack of suck … good news! We’ve discovered an training tool app which will help even the most pathetic dork find a living breathing Do Me Baby. Check it …
the Genie In A Bottle app.

Genie In A Bottle is not your typical tired, boring and useless hot babe app. Nope, it has a specific purpose … to transform sweaty palmed heavy breathing dirty creeps into polished and refined Casanovas. Yup … the Genie In a Bottle app will teach you how to touch a woman the right way!

GenieInABottleDesc

Wow … your own personal How To Touch A Woman coach! How can you resist such features: “Genie In A Bottle lets you touch the hottest babes” … “Rub these babes back and forth”. A simple concept – just rub on and touch these hotties as you please. If you caress them right, they express their satisfaction … if you stroke them wrong – DENIED!

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Genie5 Genie2 Genie6

So rejoice dork … there’s hope for you landing a Do Me Baby that actually has a pulse. Just keep stroking and rubbing your iPhone … eventually you’ll get the hang of it. And hey, if for whatever reason you’re still not having luck with the hunnies … well, at least you have your iPhone to fondle.

June 16, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle | 20 Comments 

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