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iPhone Developer Honest About His Crap App


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“This App Is Totally Useless”

“I Did This Entertainment App Just To Do It”

“Don’t Expect Much”

Well … at least the 3 Stooges Reviewer developer is being honest.

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But bravo to Apple and their outstanding job of approving useful content by qualified professionals … glad they clearly communicated these criteria in their recently released set of guidelines for developers.

If your app doesn’t do something useful or provide some form of lasting entertainment, it may not be accepted.

 

If your App looks like it was cobbled together in a few days, or you’re trying to get your first practice App into the store to impress your friends, please brace yourself for rejection. We have lots of serious developers who don’t want their quality Apps to be surrounded by amateur hour.

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And finally … WTF is this developer’s problem? 3 Stooges Reviewer is a small collection of poorly written and pointless reviews … each one bashing a different 3 Stooges episode. Why all the hate towards Larry, Curly and Moe?

Peace out.

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Hallelujah! See Jesus App Lets You See Jesus!


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Yesterday the iPhone notified you when your penis is ready for sex.

Today it lets you see Jesus.

Hmmm … there really is an app for everything!

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Actually, the iPhone ain’t that revolutionary. Save a buck and watch the “Jesus On A Wall” optical illusion video below … you’ll be seeing Jesus all day.

 

Or better yet … stare at the image below, focusing on the 3 dots … you’ll be seeing a dead douche ninja jerk for eternity!

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Girls With Guns Applications – Then And Now


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Back when Apple was cool with selling overtly sexual content, the App Store was filled with all sorts of sexy weaponry iPhone applications. You could download – Hand Grenade Hotties … Girls Guns FartsGirls N Guns … Sexy Swords … and more.

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Well not so much anymore … Apple has opted for a pure, moral and virginal App Store. So if you want to capitalize on the hot chicks holding guns fetish, you have to sell it like the GUNS Wallpapers application …

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No plunging necklines … skirt hems at or below the knee … no bikinis or garters … girls in business suits with pulled back hair preferred.

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But are those really the “girls with guns” rules? Or just a misleading way of stealing the buyer’s money … show preview screenshots that have NOTHING to do with the app you are selling. According to “dale38”, that’s exactly the bait-and-switch sales technique the GUNS Wallpapers developer is using …

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“Misleading” seems to be the new trend with Apple … where app titles, descriptions and screenshots do not represent the actual application for sale. We highlighted these issues with Orgasm Videos, Lesbian Videos and Breast Videos … all applications which sucker buyers with false (sex) hopes. Hopefully Apple will put the kibosh on this unethical practice soon as you would think honesty would be part of Apple’s selling process.

Masturbation & Ejaculation Found In Talking Chuck Boy iPhone App [Video]


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talking-chuck-boy-iphone-6 Another day, another Apple screw-up …

Talking Chuck Boy is an animated iPhone application from Beijing-based HugaoMobile in which users interact with the lovable character Chuck. You can kick, poke or hit Chuck … his eyes will fall out, he’ll get a bump on his head and eventually he’ll pass out in a bloody mess from your abuse. Talking Chuck Boy is described as, “Fun for everyone! Kids, adults, friends, co-workers, and more.” … curiously Apple rated this violent app suitable for ages 9 and above.

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Whoa! – Hey! – Hold on! … did you catch the 18 second mark of the video?!? Is Chuck choking the chicken?!? And what the hell is that white stuff flying around?!? Probably nothing since the app’s description says the “WC” button lets Chuck go to the bathroom.

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Yeah right! Upon further review in the video below … Talking Chuck Boy masturbating and ejaculating is certainly not suitable for 9 year olds. And if Apple is serious about banning overtly sexual apps … well then Cupertino, we have a problem!

Woman Considers Lawsuit After Being Featured In Jersey Shore’s ‘The Situation’ App


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In case you have a life and missed the news … last month, “Jersey Shore” star Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino launched his official iPhone app … cleverly named The Situation – Official App. The app enjoyed immediate success … skyrocketing into Apple’s Top 10 Grossing apps and ensuring Mikey has plenty of cash to keep buying Muscle Milk and fake tans.

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But apparently it’s not all fine and dandy for this guido … The Situation has a bit of a situation with his newly released application.

Grenade Dodger is a video game within The Situation app. The objective is to avoid being hit by grenades by moving The Situation from side to side. In the case of this application, and on the hit reality TV series “Jersey Shore”, grenades are ugly girls.

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According to RadarOnline.com, in efforts to keep the app as authentic as possible, The Situation instructed his developers to visits clubs he had frequented and shoot pictures of “3’s and 4’s” (on a scale of 1 to 10 for looks) for the Grenade Dodger game. RaderOnline.com reports …

When they surfaced on the application, one of the “grenades” was horrified and has since made legal threats to the breakout star of MTV’s reality smash.
“While the girls did know their photos were being taken, they were unaware they were about to become official grenades,” a source told RadarOnline.com.
“It came as a complete surprise and at least one of them is now considering her legal options.”

The Situation iPhone GRENADE

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Just a bad Situation … bad!

(via RadarOnline.com)

Victoria’s Secret For iPad Launches Making It iPad’s Sexiest App


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OMG! – GREAT NEWS! – OMG!

Victoria’s Secret has just launched their first official iPad app [iTunes FREE] and all we can say is WOW! Hell, we could barely put the damn thing down to bang out this article. If you thought the Victoria’s Secret iPhone app [iTunes FREE] was smokin’ … just wait until you see those scantily clad Angel hotties come to life on your iPad’s 9.7 inch screen … it’s lingerie nirvana!

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The application’s feature attraction (in our humble opinion) is the world famous Victoria’s Secret catalog. Page after page – swipe after swipe … this e-catalog is filled with sexy supermodel goodness. As the app’s descriptions says, “your iPad will be sexier than ever” … oh yes it will. <blush>

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Although most males will spend 99% of their browsing time ogling the catalog, the Victoria’s Secret app offers plenty of other eye candy useful  functionality … a store locator, exclusive videos, information about special events, store openings, photo shoots and more. Plus the app is coded extremely well … high quality stuff from this lingerie retail giant.

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Oh and if you thought Apple no longer permits applications featuring half-naked hot chicks … Apple’s Senior VP – Philip Schiller – previously announced a loophole to the policy … well-known companies (Playboy, Sports Illustrated, Victoria’s Secret, et al.) can publish overtly sexual applications. HOORAY for inconsistency (and sarcasm too)!

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See the loophole? … Jump right in! Put down that lame Sears catalog and go get one of the sexiest apps still available for download … the Victoria’s Secret for iPad.

Eminem, Kardashain & Others Become Bieber With Bieber Hair App


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bieber-iphone We think everyone would agree that the world would be a better place with more Justin Bieber. Because frankly, this kid is just not getting enough headlines or publicity. Oh what a shame!

Well luckily the folks at iBroomCloset recognize this severe void in society and have published … the BieberHair iPhone app.

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Simply point your camera at the subject … click your iPhone’s shutter release … and BABY, BABY, BABY – OH … you just made the world a better place.

Look at Eminem … seems much happier as a Bieber!

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Kim Kardashian … totally hotter as a Bieber babe!
Hans Solo … way bigger bad ass as a Bieber!

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Steve Jobs … truly magical with his revolutionary iBieber mane!
Homer goes Bieber … simply amazing!

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iBroomCloset is already working on updates to BieberHair … V1.1 will have the ability to email directly from the app … while the much needed V2.0 will allow users to put Bieber hair on existing pictures in your camera roll.

More Bieber? … BABY, BABY, BABY – NO!

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