The Legend Of Zelda iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper [Download]

Link__s_Legacy___Zelda_by_S In case you haven’t noticed, we’ve been amassing quite the retro games iPhone 4 iOS 4 wallpaper collection … wallpapers 640×960 in size, specifically designed for use on the iPhone’s home screen. Below is the old school goodness we’ve collected so far … all available for FREE download here on KRAPPS …

Pac-Man (9 different versions to choose from)
Ms. Pac-Man
Donkey Kong
Dig Dug

Today we bring you another classic from the ‘80s … specifically 1986 … the year Kelly McGillis looked smokin’ hot in Top Gun, Madonna’s Papa Don’t Preach topped the U.S. music charts and IBM unveiled the first laptop computer, PC Convertible.

Also in 1986, Nintendo video games debuted in America to rave reviews. One of the original games available was “The Legend of Zelda”, in which the hero, Link, must rescue Zelda. This legendary fantasy role-playing video game can now be immortalized on your iPhone’s home screen thanks to Flickr user “supermako” … dude is a Zelda fanatic and it took him two hours to build this uber-cool wallpaper in Photoshop. Enjoy!

[Download directly to iPhone’s camera roll by touching the image, press and hold the image on its new page and select save]

legend of zelda iphone wallpaper

July 27, 2010 | Filed Under News | 1 Comment 

MC Hammer Becomes Apple’s New iPhone 4 Spokesperson – plus Recap Week Of July 19

Ad-Krapps-170x170 In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

July 19: Top 10 Steve Jobs Quotes From iPhone 4 Antennagate Press Conference

July 20: Apple’s Only Black Employee Voices His Frustration With iPhone 4 [Video]

July 21: Feel The Need To Kill Yourself? Death Chug iPhone App Can Help!

July 22: Small Penis? Male Size App Will Make You Feel Better About It!

July 23: Apple Bans America’s Next Top Model Contestant As Inappropriate – You Be The Judge

July 24: Apple Bans America’s Next Top Model Contestant As Inappropriate – You Be The Judge

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HAMMERTIME

Sorry folks … it had to be done …

MC-Hammer-iPhone-4

[via J from the UK]

July 25, 2010 | Filed Under News, Recap | Leave a Comment 

Apple Bans America’s Next Top Model Contestant As Inappropriate – You Be The Judge

mad-man-pulling-hair-out-f We noticed a strange phenomenon at this year’s WWDC … the annual conference for iPhone application developers. For whatever reason, all of the developers in attendance had little to no hair … pretty much bald as a baby’s butt. Quite a disturbing sight … until it dawned on us why the lack of WWDC hair … developers are pulling their hair out in frustration over Apple’s idiotic and inconsistent (remember these two words for later) application approval policies!

No hair = Apple’s fault. Makes total sense – just take a look at Apple’s latest moronic ruling.

Mirror App [iTunes Free] is one of the 27 million mirror applications available for the iPhone 4. The developers, DLP Mobile, recently submitted an update to Apple for approval which was immediately rejected. Why? … because per Apple’s email to DLP Mobile …

The screenshots provided contain content that is objectionable for certain age groups. This is in violation of Section 3.3.18 … that states:

 

"Applications may be rejected if they contain content … that in Apple’s reasonable judgment may be found objectionable, for example, materials that may be considered obscene, pornographic, or defamatory."

 

The application screenshots must meet the requirements for a 4+ rating (no objectionable material) since these images are visible on the App Store by all users  … The inappropriate images have been attached for your reference.

Excellent … let’s check out the obscene, pornographic screenshots, not suitable for 4-year-olds, Apple attached for our reference …

Bouzinova-iPhone-1  Bouzinova-iPhone-2

HUH?!? The girl in the photos is former America’s Next Top Model contestant Mila Bouzinova … and if you think for one second her screenshots are inappropriate (what? girl can’t wear a bandeau bikini top?) … you are a complete douchebag. Now the policy does state, “in Apple’s reasonable judgment” … but come on, is some 40-year-old virgin, working in Apple’s app review team, the best judge of overtly sexual content. These are freaking geeks making a judgment call … their dicks get hard when the wind blows … they should be the last people on earth dictating what is too sexual. To them, a SpongeBob chia pet is arousing. Seriously, if you’re getting excited by Mila’s screenshots … seek help, you have serious issues!

Ok, so that was the “idiotic” part of Apple’s ruling … now the “inconsistent” piece. Look at the screenshots below. They all have been approved by Apple and are live in the App Store. Compare these screenshots to the ones 2 inches above. Now tell us which screenshots are really the inappropriate ones for 4-year-olds.

overtly-iPhone-1  overtly-iPhone-2

overtly-iPhone-3  overtly-iPhone-4

Chin up developers! We realize the game you play with Apple is asinining, maddening, stupid and absurd … but at least Apple approved an app for your woes … Hair Clinic – the app which magically grows your hair back after its been pulled out .

July 23, 2010 | Filed Under News, Utilities | 3 Comments 

Apple’s Only Black Employee Voices His Frustration With iPhone 4 [Video]

darnell-johnson Last month we featured two brilliant commercials for the iPhone 4 and iPad. The reason they’re so epic is because Apple did NOT produce them and thus do not include bullshit marketing spin.

Well the same folks are at it again … this time taking on “Antennagate” in their usual no-holds-barred approach …

”Blame AT&T, we didn’t invent the dropped call, they did.”

 

”We told you from the beginning that this changes everything … and that also includes how you hold the phone.”

 

“Black iPhone can’t do this, black iPhone drops my call – you know what, F*CK YOU people.”

And similar to camera guy in the last two videos, we absolutely love Apple’s only black employee, Darnell Johnson – dude brings up some very good points! What’s up with that?

 

[via iPhone Download Blog]

July 20, 2010 | Filed Under News | 1 Comment 

Top 10 Steve Jobs Quotes From iPhone 4 Antennagate Press Conference

Presenting the top ten Steve Jobs quotes from last week’s damage control iPhone 4 Antennagate press conference …

We love our users.
If we are “users”, “druggies”, “addicts” or “crackheads” … does that make Steve a “dealer”, “pusher”, trapstar” or “slinger”? Bravo … excellent choice of words.

antennagate-1

We love our users so much we’ve built 300 Apple retail stores for them.
What you really meant was “300 crackhouses”, right? But seriously dude … you love us so much that you would build Apple Stores … just for us? Nothing to do with a sales strategy or increasing revenue? Damn Steve, thank you … you’re swell!

I get a lot of email and my address is out there. I can’t reply to all of these emails — I have a day job. Some people post them on the web, which is kind of rude.
Does Steve really think his email responses will be kept private? If some geek receives a personal email from Jobs … logic dictates that said geek gets a hard-on and shares it with the world. Not to mention print, frame and hang it (the email, not hard-on). But even if we’re rude, we know you still love us … after all, you did build 300 Apple Stores just for us.

Q: How’s your health, Steve? How are you doing?
I’m fine! I was on vacation in Hawaii, but this was important enough to come back for.
Ok, who’s the kiss-ass asking this question … GRUBER? And LMAO … dude was in Hawaii on vacation. Sucks to be the short-straw guy placing that call, “Yes Mr. Jobs … you heard me correctly … things are a total clusterfuck right now and we have no other option than to puppet you in front of the media for damage control back here in Cupertino.” See Steve pissed … pissed Steve, pissed!

antennagate-4

Websites buy stolen prototypes and put ‘em on the web and we don’t care for that.
Three months later, still whining about Gizmodo? Geez, turn the page, shit happens. Doesn’t the CEO of the most powerful technology company have something better to worry about than Gawker Media?

And we didn’t bash down any doors! [referencing police breaking down the door of Gizmodo editor Jason Chen’s home during a raid] 
Oh look, we went to an Apple iPhone 4 press conference and a Gizmodo shitfest broke out.

antennagate-5

[referencing the ‘Antennagate’ press conference] I wish we could have done this in the first 48 hours, but then you wouldn’t have had so much to write about.
Haha. Yeah, that’s Steve multi-tasking like the new iOS 4 … cracking a joke while back-handing the media. Funny guy … sure to take Letterman’s time slot soon.

Looking at the data, we don’t think we have a problem … there is no ‘Antennagate’.
Don’t have a problem? Your revolutionary iPhone 4 only works properly with a case on it. Says to your girlfriend, “Oh, I forgot to tell you, I have syphilis. But don’t worry, I’ve got condoms. On me. No charge.”

antennagate-2

It doesn’t seem like a good thing if you can touch your phone in a certain way and it loses signal.
Really?!? No shit Mister Obvious! Wait, what … are you saying there is a problem? But didn’t you just say “we don’t think we have a problem”? So you do have a problem? No … wait … what were we talking about again?

We’re not perfect.
Although nothing really revolutionary or magical about it … Best. Steve Jobs Quote. Ever! (see Steve pissed … pissed Steve, pissed)

antennagate-3

July 19, 2010 | Filed Under News | 2 Comments 

Only $495 Gets You This Classic Read From Amazon – plus Recap Week Of July 12

Ad-Krapps-170x170 In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

July 12: Spanking The Donkey – We’re Still Talking About An iPhone Game, Right?

July 13: Medical Ailment Linked To iPhone 4 [Comic Strip]

July 14: iPhone Born In The Jungles Of Guatemala, Not Cupertino (Video Proof)

July 15: The iPhone Can Now Make Your Breasts Bigger – Pissed Off Boob Job Surgeons Demand Recall

July 16: “F*ck” Now Allowed In The App Store – Al Pacino Soundboard Proves It Repeatedly

July 17: Dig Dug iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper [Download]

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Recommended Reading – For IDIOTS!

Since you’re here, you probably know what we’re all about … KRAPPS = Crap Apps … the stupid, strange, whacky and weird of the App Store. Penis enlargers, baby killers, underage porn, etc.

But after seeing this next item, we’re thinking … screw the App Store, let’s start a site solely dedicated to all the shit Amazon sells. Like this $495 book … The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China … which isn’t really even a book, it’s a five hundred dollar PDF download about the future Chinese crappers – WTF?!?

amazon-crap

Make sure you read Amazon’s product page and customer reviews for this sack of suck … worth way more than $495, it’s priceless!

July 18, 2010 | Filed Under News, Recap | 2 Comments 

Dig Dug iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper [Download]

Retro-Games-App-store Similar to Apple’s recent introduction of the Retro Games section in the App Store, we’ve accidentally on purpose began our own old school collection … Retro Games iPhone 4 iOS 4 wallpaper. But unlike most retro iPhone games, our collection won’t cost you a dime because we’re sharing our vintage nuggets for FREE.

Our home screen wallpaper collection started with Pac-Man (we went a little nuts and collected 9 different versions) … then Ms. Pac-Man … next up was Donkey Kong … and now, the latest addition to our family, the classic arcade game published by Namco in 1982 – Dig Dug.

dig-dug-on-iphone

We found this awesome Dig Dug iPhone wallpaper on Flickr, created by docrocketpop … poor thing was sitting there all alone, looking lost and sad … we just had to bring it home.

Dig Dug is 640×960 size for iPhone 4. Download directly to iPhone’s camera roll by touching the image, press and hold the image on its new page and select save. Enjoy!

Dig Dug iPhone Wallpaper

July 17, 2010 | Filed Under Games, News | 8 Comments 

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