Durex Baby App Screams, WEAR A CONDOM! [Video]

Durex-Condom If there’s gonna be affection cover your erection …

Durex is an international condom manufacturer based in Cheshire, United Kingdom. It is the #1 brand of condoms in the UK and #2 in the United States behind Trojan. Durex condoms represent about one quarter of the global market for rubbers … pumping out one billion units per year.

So how does Durex maintain their world domination in love gloves? By clever marketing campaigns that stay outside the box (no pun intended). Seriously, what better way to reach young, hip, sexually active adults than with an iPhone app … an anti-pregnancy – safe sex  – use a condom application. Check out the brilliantly awesome Durex Baby demonstration video and be prepared to hit the nearest convenience store for some Durex..

[WARNING – this video contains graphic scenes of two iPhones having sex and may not be suitable for children under 40.]

 

LMAO … while not as extreme as the “kill a baby to stop it from crying” Baby Shaker app, Durex Baby does present some realistic challenges nightmares to every day life with a tot. So gather around all you sexy people … don’t be silly wrap you willy … use Durex!

(Disclaimer – the Durex Baby app is not real. It is an advertising concept/case created by Peter Ammentorp, Nicolai Villads and Raul Montenegro, collectively known as V+A.)

(Hat tip to @manolosavi for bringing Durex Baby to our attention.)

June 3, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, News | 3 Comments 

$450 Crap App Becomes #3 Grossing Application In Less Than One Day [Just Wrong]

App developer’s take note … this should provide plenty of motivation for achieving App Store success and billions of dollars!

You know those so-called “noteworthy and profitable” apps like Doodle Jump, Pocket God or Tetris? Those apps which developers work their ass off trying to release and maintain a quality product? F*CK ‘EM!

All you really need to do is spend 10 minutes programming a few black screens with decorative frames around the edges … call it an iPhone mirror … and increase the bastard’s from ninety nine cents to  four hundred and fifty dollars.

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The end result of your bullshit? Some poor suckers will make your work (we use the term loosely) the #3 overall Top Grossing app … $$ Ka-Ching $$   

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June 2, 2010 | Filed Under Lifestyle, News | 15 Comments 

Weighing Yourself With An iPad Easier Than With An iPhone [Concept]

With apps like Finger Scale, Touch Scale and iScale … using your iPhone as a digital scale to weigh stuff is a reality.

But obviously due to the its diminutive size, using an iPhone as a digital scale is fairly impractical. While it’s nice to weigh envelopes, coins or diamonds … what we really want to weigh is the KRAPPS temple, our smokin’ hot bod. The shit below simply doesn’t work …

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But as Steve Jobs describes the iPad as “magical” … so are its possibilities … like iWeight found over at Thili …

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Although just a concept … you know some developer will attempt to capitalize on human stupidity and submit iWeight for approval. Don’t laugh … Apple did approve the genital wart healing app, Wart Healer, so it’ll be no surprise if iWeight appears shortly at an App Store near you.

(via Walyou)

June 1, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, News | Leave a Comment 

iZombie T-Shirt Features Epic Zombie Apple Mashup – Available Today Only, $9

Attention all you monster Apple freaks … gotta love this! Available TODAY ONLY is the über-cool iZombie limited edition t-shirt at TeeFury. A parody of the classic iPod advertising campaign, iZombie comes complete with detached iPod-listening head, authentic green blood and a brainy apple-like logo. For only $9 (plus $2 US shipping, international shipping varies), you can display your dual affinity for Apple and zombies with this ridiculously awesome mashup.    

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When questioned what inspired him to design iZombie, artist R-evolution GFX stated, “I thought of this while walking one day, seeing people shuffling along with their mp3 player of choice or other tech gadgets, oblivious to the world around them… like zombies!” LMAO, ain’t that the truth … it’s an epidemic, gadget geeks are taking over the world!

Oh and Mister Apple Lawyer … before you get your panties in a bundle … that little logo at the bottom of iZombie is NOT Apple. It’s a brain with a bite out of it … because all zombies know, brains are good eats.

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May 31, 2010 | Filed Under News | 4 Comments 

Apple Loses One Million As Users Create 1,000,000 AutoRingtone Ringtones

No Tie Software’s AutoRingtone service has created over ONE MILLION custom Text-To-Speech talking ringtones since November 2009. That means AutoRingtone apps have potentially cost Apple over ONE MILLION Dollars … considering that Apple charges up to $1.29 per ringtone. It’s no wonder Apple hasn’t featured the AutoRingtone app!

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The AutoRingtone service enables users to create their own talking "Caller ID" ringtones, that say exactly what they want – uncensored … "Hey Mike, Steve Jobs is calling. He needs your advice yet again about a lost iPhone. Should I let it go to voicemail?"

Users can select from dozens of professional (British Man, Woman, Old Man, GPS Gal, etc.) and funny voices (Jersey Girl, Valley Girl, Space Alien). They can use nearly 200 sound effects as an introduction, to get a user’s attention. There are no limitations… users can create unlimited ringtones and ringtones are completely uncensored. Indeed, many users are taking advantage of that feature (hint, hint).

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Ringtones are downloadable in both .m4r as well as .aiff format … so they can be created on an iPhone, iPod touch or iPad but used on iPhones as well as other phones.

To jump on the uncensored custom ringtones ONE MILLION bandwagon, check these out:
AutoRingtone Pro [iTunes $0.99] 
9,999 Ringtones Uncensored Pro [iTunes $0.99]
Auto TTS Pro Text-To-Speech Ringtones [iTunes $0.99]

For more information about the AutoRingtone service, check out the hysterical video below called … AutoRingtone: Behind the Curtain.

 

May 29, 2010 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, News, Utilities | Leave a Comment 

Apple Loses Their Sense Of Humor, Rejects Lost In A Bar App

lost iPhone Gizmodo By now you’ve probably heard about the lost iPhone 4G saga – Apple employee gets drunk and loses the iPhone 4G prototype in a bar … some dude finds the lost iPhone and sells it  to Gizmodo … Gizmodo publishes the exclusive story and pictures … Apple gets pissed and Gizmodo returns the iPhone to Apple … police raid Gizmodo editor Jason Chen’s home and seize computers as part of an investigation into the leak of the prototype iPhone … blah, blah, blah.

Well the kind folks at Headlight Software (developers of Knife Dancing [iTunes FREE] – the #1 game in in February 2010) thought they would lend a hand to all drunks and publish an app which would help any lost iPhone return to its rightful owner.

The concept is simple … users create a custom wallpaper for display on their iPhone’s "locked" screen. The wallpaper contains the owner’s contact information … an email or phone number … easily visible if the phone is found, even if a passcode lock is used.

Lost-In-A-Bar-1  Lost-In-A-Bar-2

Simple concept … yet brilliant. And with Apple’s track record of losing prototypes, a must buy for all employees (and part of every Apple wallpaper message should read – “$5,000 Reward For Return! No Questions Asked!”).

Now the beauty of this whole story is that Headlight Software has MAJOR BALLS. These guys developed the “recover lost iPhone” app and submitted it to Apple for approval under the name … Lost In A Bar. Below are the actual screenshots and icon (love it) submitted to Apple …

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LMAO – classic stuff! Yeah, we’re sure you can guess what happens next …

Reeking of extreme arrogance and self-importance, Apple rejects the Lost In A Bar app claiming it’s “inappropriate”. WEAK … looks like the iPhone prototype was not the only thing they lost in a bar … WTF, where’s your sense of humor Apple?!? 

But drunk people rejoice! A non-offensive, positive and appropriate “recover lost iPhone”  application is already in the App Store … download Reward For Return [iTunes $0.99] and party on.

May 28, 2010 | Filed Under Business, News, Utilities | 4 Comments 

Determined To Piss Off Customers, Developer Changes App’s Price 56 Times Within 3 Months

ren-stimpy Apparently the developers at ShangLan Tech have been smoking too much weed … or they simply enjoy pissing off potential customers. We can think of no other reason to explain ShangLan’s abnormal behavior when it comes to pricing their AlbumDoodle app.

Besides the fact that AlbumDoodle’s price has ranged from $2.99 to $14.99 … the crackheads at ShangLan have changed the app’s price a whopping 56 times over the course of 84 days. So basically every day and a half, some strange bug crawls up ShangLan’s ass, provoking them to submit a price change to Apple.

And the symptoms keep getting worse … in March, AlbumDoodle’s price changed 11 times … April, 21 times … through 25 days in May, a whopping 24 changes. You would think Apple would put an end to ShangLan’s abusive behavior and set some limits to price change frequency … hell, even every other day would cut down ShangLan’s crap.

When it comes to describing ShangLan Tech (or other devs who cheat the pricing system in order to gain visibility for their apps), only one word comes to mind – iDiots!

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(price history via AppShopper)

May 27, 2010 | Filed Under News | 3 Comments 

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