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Go Ask Alice: Alice’s Adventures – Rabbit Hole Of Death iPhone Game
(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)
Alice In Wonderland has been a popular topic the last couple of years. From the highly anticipated opening of the Tim Burton helmed film starring Johnny Depp to the recent SyFy reimagining (which was just released on DVD), the subject is one that appears to engage people from the time they first hear the story.
So, it is no surprise that there are Alice-themed apps available for the iPhone. One of note is "Alice’s Adventures – Rabbit Hole of Death" [iTunes $0.99] by dev sisters. The game takes one aspect of the story, falling down the rabbit hole and puts you in control of a decidedly older, scantily clad Alice. See, to keep out the riff-raff, the White Rabbit has placed doorways in your path. And not just any doorways, these require you to contort the articulated figure to match the shape of the rapidly approaching opening which you see in a small view on the screen. Make a clean pass and you get maximum points. Just scrape through and you get a few points. Totally miss the shape and Alice has some unkind words for you.
In the early rounds, the shapes are relatively easy and they flow from one to another. In later rounds, you will be challenged to make the proper shape before time runs out. For additional scoring opportunity, two different types of rabbits float by. One gains you extra points, the other subtracts points. In the early rounds, I found it pretty easy to get the figure set up and then grab a few of the beneficial rabbits. In the later rounds, I barely had enough time to get her set and often chose the bad rabbits instead (they are only subtly different).
The animation and character movement in the game is rock solid. There are infinite varieties of positions for Alice’s limbs to assume, many of them hilarious in their own right. The accompanying game music and sound effects add quite a bit to the entertainment, especially Alice’s quips. Each level has a theme as well, but the scenery flies by so quickly you may not get much of a chance to appreciate the details. The game is currently on sale at 99 cents (although ending any minute!), but is well worth the regular price of admission at $1.99 [iTunes].
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz iPhone App – Why Didn’t We Think Of That?
If we were to run a contest, challenging developers to come up with a clever name for their app which uses all the 26 letters of the English alphabet … then this Austrian dude, Jörg Piringer, would be the big winner. No, Jörg’s iPhone app is not “The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog” … he got straight to the point and released … abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.
Besides having an obnoxiously loveable name, the best part is that abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz (FFFFUUUU for making us spell that out) is not even a word game or some type of etymology (look it up – we did) app. Nope … it’s a freaking “sound toy”. You see, Jörg, is what they call, a sound geek … or as he puts it, a “sound poet”. Dude is a member of the Institute for Transacoustic Research and the Vegetable Orchestra (no clue) … so the result of all his musical madness is an extremely 
bizarre, one of a kind, iPhone application.
Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz (you bastard Jörg) is sort of like an interpretive dance performance, but with letters. The app’s description reads, “create and control tiny sound-creatures in the shape of letters that react to gravity or each other and generate rhythms and soundscapes.” … huh? … yeah, it’s really hard to describe – just watch Jörg’s demo video below.
Jörg swears up and down that he does not take drugs … but watching his video, really makes us question this claim. We guess abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz (you suck bro!) is pretty cool … but since we are completely sober at the time of this writing (please, no wiseass remarks), we simply cannot get a grip on this visual concept of flying letters and corresponding sounds. Sound geeks … feel free to chime in (see what we did there?) with your opinion.
Star Walk App – Because Having The Entire Universe On Your iPhone Is Freakin’ Cool
We’ve featured a couple of augmented reality applications here on KRAPPS … Nude It lets you see naked people, while Reality Slice helps users slice a pizza into evenly-sized pieces. Nothing earth-shattering, but then again, that’s our wheelhouse.
However today we’ll “buck the norm” and cover an augmented reality app which is … to put it bluntly … freaking insanely awesome! The app is called Star Walk [iTunes $2.99] by Vito Technology Inc. It’s an educational astronomy application which charts stars and planets. Basically what you do is go outside when it’s dark … launch Star Walk … look at the sky through your iPhone (like you’re taking a picture) … and then crap your pants in absolute amazement. Using the iPhone’s GPS feature, Star Walk automatically detects your location and displays, in glorious detail, a live representation of the sky you are looking at … stars, planets constellations and more.
So let’s say you’re done checking out a particular part of the sky … and point your iPhone to a different location. No problem … Star Walk utilizes the iPhone’s 3GS accelerometer and compass to automatically change to the area of the sky you are currently viewing.
Star Walk provides even further awesomeness … touching any object on Star Walk’s live representation screen will give the user detailed information like size, coordinates, etc.
The Time Machine function is another cool feature …sort of like a time-lapse movie of the sky, going from day to night and changing star positions as you advance in time. It’s really remarkable to see the sky in this dynamic state … we were completely in awe.
In addition to the Star Spotter functionality described above, Star Walk has a ton of additional features like … choosing any location in the world and the app will show the corresponding objects in the sky … Astronomy Picture of the Day – an amazing photo gallery, kept fresh on a daily basis … and so much more. To appreciate the full-effect of Star Walk, be sure to check out the demo video at the end of this article.
With its high-quality graphics, outstanding animations, superb sound effects and intuitive UI … Star Walk is an absolute bargain at $2.99. It delivers a wealth of knowledge in a way that is both fun, easy to understand and thoroughly entertaining … totally exceeding our expectations. And we agree with Apple who featured Star Walk as one of the best apps of 2009. We have our own term for these types of gems … anti-KRAPPS. So without a doubt, Star Walk is 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified!
Amazing Dirty Sex City Names For iPhone – Really, Really Bad (Names)
Our apologies in advance! For whatever reason we are feeling a bit childish today and reverting to a preteen mentality. But hey, don’t blame us … this is what happens when all “overtly sexual” content is removed from the App Store and one must stretch for a bit of iPhone titillation. So bear with us while we streeeeetch with the Amazing Dirty Sex City Names app.
Aside from the blatant attempt at being a search engine magnet … at first … Amazing Dirty Sex City Names made us question this whole business of Apple protecting their brand from cheesy sex-oriented apps. Yeah, the cheese factor on this one is off the charts! But although probably best suited for a frat party or some boy’s/girl’s night out … Amazing Dirty Sexy Names managed to induce a Beavis and Butthead-like chuckle from us. Big Beaver, Pennsylvania … huh, huh. Dildo, Newfoundland … huh, huh. Blue Ball, Pennsylvania … huh, huh.
And the whole sophomoric episode continues – Fort Dick, California … Spread Eagle, Wisconsin … Middelfart, Denmark … Sexmoan, Philippines … Long Dong, China … Pussy Creek, Ohio … and on and on. Ok …we’ll stop … after one more. Did you know it takes 4 hours to get from Intercourse to Climax? Huh, huh … when traveling between those two cities in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania … HA!
Agreed … Amazing Dirty Sex City Names is over the top in cheese … but beggars can’t be choosey in the App Store these days.
Poker Vs. Strong Female Role Models App – Result Of Apple’s ‘Overtly Sexual’ Policy
Ladies and gentlemen … the story you are about to read is true. The facts have NOT been changed to protect the innocent.
Headlight Software has been in business since 1997 … creating high quality utilities and web-based services. With over 13 million downloads, their first product, GetRight, remains one of the premiere download managers on the market. In 2008, the company began developing iPhone apps with FTP On The Go (a direct descendant of GetRight) as their inaugural release. Since then, they have branched out into games and other utilities.
Although Headlight Software is a reputable, well-established publisher … their sole “lighthearted” app fell victim to Apple’s recent war on smut apps. Apple deemed the Poker vs. Girls app “overtly sexual” and it was removed from sale. Poker vs. Girls was one of the many strip poker games available for download in iTunes … containing images of girls in lingerie … pretty much the exact same thing you will find in the Victoria’s Secret All Access application (currently available for download).
So realizing it was time to nut up or shut up (love that movie), Headlight Software chose the former and released a polar opposite version of the “overtly sexual” Poker vs. Girls. As a matter of fact, this new poker app is somewhat inspirational … Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models.
LMAO … indeed, nothing sexy about playing no limit Texas Hold’em Poker against fully dressed career women … who stay clothed no matter win, lose or draw. Choose from eight different professional females … a Doctor, Fighter Pilot, App Developer, Mathematician and more. And just to play it completely safe (never know with Apple’s arbitrary standards), Headlight Software chose to go the total no flesh route with a Burka-wearing female as their icon.
So here’s the deal folks … if you’re looking for some steamy strip poker action for your iPhone, Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models is about as close (and we use the term loosely) as you’ll get in Apple’s new squeaky-clean, brand protected App Store. Unless of course a well-known company like Playboy, Maxim, FHM or Hooters decides to publish one. But until then … nut up or shut up … learn to love the Burka!
Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models (damn we love that name) is a free download [iTunes Free] with two strong female role model opponents available for play. The remaining six strong female role models can be unlocked, but NOT undressed, for only 99 cents. Again … nut up or shut up!
Exclusive: Steve Jobs And Bill Gates Turn Guido!
Sure they may be among the most powerful and influential men in the business world, but Steve Jobs and Bill Gates cannot survive on work alone. Just like the rest of us, these guys need to blow off some serious steam. And while you might assume that Jobs and Gates partake in some stuffy relaxation ritual of sipping fine Chateau Latour from Riedel stemware while smoking Cohiba Esplendidos … we’re here to tell you that’s bullcrap.
Trusted sources have informed us that Jobs and Gates have transformed into Steve “Sleazy T” Jobs and Bill “Baby Oil” Gates … hanging with the Guidos and Guidettes of Jersey Shore. They are fist pumping, glow sticking and Jagermeistering with The Situation, Snooki and the rest of the Jersey Shore douchebags, club-style. And of course we have the exclusive bronzed pictures to prove it (including their matching soul patches).
LMAO … yo, gotta love photography apps for the iPhone … especially when they “unleash the Guido in you”. For a mere 99 cents, the Guidofy app will provide you with an authentic Italian-American Muscle Milk look. Choose from Fedora hats, Yankees caps, Vercase and Prada shades, Fohawk hair, gold chains, etc … over 50 options for Guidofying yourself. But best of all … bronzer functionality for that gorgeous fake and bake synthetic tan appeal.
And take a wild guess what Robert Pattinson does when he’s not busy drinking people’s blood? Or Conan O’Brien, when he’s on break from interviewing squirrels in his backyard? SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!
Recap: Week Of February 22 – plus Evolution Of The iPhone 2014
In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.
February 22: Screw Gameloft’s Brothers In Arms 2 – We Have The Real Gaming News!
February 22: NASA Releases First-Ever iPhone Game, Complete With Wiseass Remarks
February 23: Apple Finally Speaks Out – Sexy Apps From Well-Known Companies Ok
February 24: The Comedy Of Errors – Starring Apple
February 25: Star Wars Scrolling Text Lands On The iPhone With Star Wordz App
February 25: Wobble iBoobs Back On Sale For Your Jiggling Pleasures!
February 26: Kim Kardashian Official iPhone App – Gives Users Glimpse Into Her Fabulous Life
February 27: Apple’s New ‘Overtly Sexual’ Policy Becomes Butt Of Joke [Comic]
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Evolution Of The iPhone
Since its first computer, the Apple I, went on sale in July 1976 (price of $666.66), Apple has consistently put out products that raise the bar for the computer and telecommunications industry. A few highlights include the first Macintosh released in 1984, iMac in 1998, the iPod in 2001, iPhone in 2007 and of course the upcoming iPad in 2010.
So what’s next for Apple? Well the clever folks at Be Geek seem to have it figured out through 2014. After that, it’s anyone’s guess … iCar, iHouse, iPlanet, iGalaxy?
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