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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
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- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
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Reading Is Sexy, Especially On The iPhone (spanking, crossdressing & more)
Ok – we admit it … we’re not huge fans of the App Store’s “Books” category. Nothing against books or reading of course … it’s just that we rarely discover anything KRAPPS-worthy in “Books”. But you know … that’s probably a good thing. So we’ll just keep chillin’ in the krappiest of categories – “Entertainment”.
But getting back to “Books” … strange thing happened to us the other day. While conducting our usual research process in “Entertainment” … something kept drawing us to “Books”. It was the strangest thing … like some supernatural power came over us. Frankly, we were scared shitless and didn’t want to visit “Books” … but aura was strong, like the Force of a Jedi Knight – freaking Yoda-like. Something just kept pushing and pushing us towards “Books”. So we finally let go. We succumbed to this higher power … jotted over to “Books” … and the calling became clear. We realized why we didn’t stand a chance against this higher power … this Force. We were helpless against Penis Power.
But of course … the Phallic Worship app. Screw those other magic apps. Phallic Worship is the real deal … we’re talking “male generative powers” … aka Penis Power! All hail the mighty phallic.
Hmmm … books. You know what sucks – trying to read a nasty book in public. More often than not, we find ourselves on a crowded subway, or at a sold-out baseball game with 45,000 other folks, or stuck in that “comfy” middle seat on a 6-hour non-stop flight from New York to Los Angeles. And in these situations … we just want to enjoy a titillating read. But it’s tough. Sitting in these cramped quarters, trying to be discreet … it just doesn’t work. Too many wandering eyes checking out our hardback (no pun intended) – very frustrating indeed (again … no pun intended).
But thanks to Penis Power, we discovered an awesome new book app which allows us to enjoy nasty literary pleasures – wherever, whenever – all on the privacy of our own iPhone.
YES! thank you – thank you …. Naughty Spanking 3, erotic reading on your iPhone. Now just mix in one of those PhoneDevil privacy screen protectors and perv away in public to your heart’s content.
But alas, the “Entertainment” category completes us. So for those of you who rather write than read … it’s cool, we feel you. We found the perfect app for all you budding erotic writers, hoping one day to become a staff writer for Penthouse Letters (wait … you mean those are really written by Penthouse readers? … no way) or just your ordinary everyday crossdresser – 1001 Sex Life Stories.
Recap: Week Of September 28
In case you missed any of the festivities, quick links to this week’s articles.
September 28: The Gr(Ass) Is Always Greener – we check out the “interesting” and very cool 4ZONEZ app
September 29: Wipe Your Ass & Smear Shit On Your Friend’s Face – Surprised There’s An App For That? – we couldn’t even make this stuff up
September 30: Best Fukkin App Name Ever! (volume 2) – discover the new craze … i-fukkin
October 1: iKnock Answers With Japanese Peeing Torture – crazy Japanese antics
October 2: T-Pain Who? Rap Group, Tanya Morgan, Kills It With MouthOff – very cool music video from Tanya Morgan incorporates iPhone technology
October 3: iPeePee – This Aim Game Is A Real Pisser – our second peeing article of the week … a new world record!
iPeePee – This Aim Game Is A Real Pisser
(written by guest author Connor Coghlan. follow Connor on Twitter @Condawg)
Let’s be frank … no beating around the bush, no seeking description … iPeePee is,
in essence, a penis simulation game.
(editor’s note: OMG! we can’t believe Connor just said p*nis. our apologies – we know p*nis
is a dirty word. dude, come on!)
The goal of iPeePee is to … uh, well … pee. Using the iPhone’s accelerometer controls, you need to pee in a variety of urinals and be as accurate as possible. There are a bunch of things you can pee on … such as a beer bottle that lets you pee a little longer (but decreases your accuracy) or a wad of cash, which somehow increases your score. Not to mention other random items for splash … bottle of pills, a radio, a billiard ball, your friend’s face (kidding), etc.
Surprisingly, this game is more difficult than it sounds. You’ve gotta get some pretty high scores to advance and it could take a lot of patience … especially after you’ve leaked on some beer bottles (which could be crucial if your urine level is running low before you’ve reached your goal).
Not only is iPeePee entertaining, but this game could be great practice for those inebriated public urination experiences that we will all eventually grow to hate (of course, it’s only effective if you stand about two feet away from the urinal).
Don’t have a penis? No problem! Believe me, it’s not a prerequisite! As I said, this is a simulation game, so anything is possible. Be a guy for a minute and piss all over the place. This game would be no fun if you had to sit down. In fact, I’m not even sure it would work at all. And if you are lucky enough to be of the male gender, you could easily use iPeePee for practice or even as a guide WHILE you pee. (this will require some duct tape to ensure accuracy with the game … I love duct tape, it’s very practical)
The only suggestion I have to “enhance” the game (no, “enhance” is not a Viagra reference) is to include an online scoreboard. You know … see how you rank against the most accurate pissers with an iDevice in the world. I could see iPeePee getting very competitive … you know … a real pissing match!
T-Pain Who? Rap Group, Tanya Morgan, Kills It With MouthOff
Here at KRAPPS, we love unique iPhone-related stories … where folks think outside the box and leverage the iPhone for something truly creative. Take for example the artsy fartsy web site Just iPhone Art which showcases beautiful drawings and paintings created with the iPhone … unique and creative. Or how about the Hell Chicken app … come on, it’s the only rubber chicken app available (unique) and dude was certainly creative concocting this idea. And of course there’s the ultimate in creativity, Smule … the geniuses behind such ridiculously unique apps as Ocarina and I Am T-Pain.
Now check out this really tight video from the musical group Tanya Morgan, performing their song, “So Damn Down”. What does this have to do with the iPhone … relax, just push play.
Wow … talk about “WTF Creativity”! Who would have ever thought of strapping an iPhone to a musician’s face and having an app sing the lyrics? Roy Miles … that’s who … he’s the dude who came up with the idea and directed the video (just curious … where did Roy get those strap-ons). Apparently Roy is a bit of an iDork himself. And naturally, the “So Damn Down” video was the perfect creative outlet for the MouthOff app. If you’re not familiar with MouthOff … you should be. It’s pretty much what you see in the video … a sound-reactive animated mouth the makes you look freaking funny.
MouthOff is insanely fun (check out the hundreds of hilarious user submitted videos here) and for only 99 cents [iTunes] it’s a freaking steal. A MouthOff Lite version [iTunes] is also available for no money down. Just as an fyi … since robots are quite the rage these days, you might want to consider being a MouthOff Robot this Halloween. For complete build details, check out this Engadget article.
Anyways, we’re super stoked for the folks over at ustwo, the developers of MouthOff. Since being prominently featured in the “So Damn Down” video, with its heavy rotation on MTVu and MTV Jams, ustwo can literally claim … MouthOff ROCKS!
iKnock Answers With Japanese Peeing Torture
The Japanese rock! Everything from sushi (no, California Rolls don’t count you pussy), to Domo-Kun, to those totally unique G-Shock watches, mix in a little sake, to aqua-titanium embedded Phiten necklaces … hell, we even have an uber-cool manga tattoo on our lower left leg (hurt like a mofo … but no pain, no gain). And of course, we love those crazy Japanese television game shows. You know, the one where women tie raw meat to their head and lower their faces into a glass box with a komodo dragon … chomp, chomp – OUCH! Or the one where a bunch of dudes repeat a tongue twister and if they screw up, they get whacked in the nuts by this nasty torture contraption – OUCH!
And the insanity doesn’t stop at Japanese game shows … they’ve made their way to the iPhone. Take for example the latest app from Japanese developer ZOO called iKnock. The folks at ZOO thought it would be fun to find some guy who desperately needs to take a piss … place him in front of a bathroom … only to have the bathroom locked, occupied by some a-hole taking his freaking sweet time on the can.
Talk about torture … poor dude is right there, inches away from relieving himself … but can’t. He keeps knocking on the door – knocking and knocking … only to receive such rude replies as “Keep Quiet” or “Wait A Little”. Now dude starts freaking out. He breaks into the classic Pee-Pee Dance … trying so hard not to piss his pants … poor bastard even starts turning different colors, he has to pee so bad. See the demo video to check out the pure madness and cruelty of iKnock.
WTH?!? Why would anyone create such a sadistic game? Easy answer … crazy Japanese. And hey, good news for all you sadists like us … iKnock is FREE [iTunes] … enjoy!
Best Fukkin App Name Ever! (volume 2)
Save it! We know what you’re thinking – “You suck KRAPPS! How can there be another best app name when you already declared the best app name EVER?!?”. Whatever Mr. Details … this is our fukkin site and we can do whatever we want. If you’re seeking attention to details, go fukkin visit CNN. Better yet … go pay $1.99, download the new CNN app and tell us how you feel about paying to watch ads (aren’t ad supported apps supposed to be fukkin free? … regardless, still a great app).
As we were saying … KRAPPS is declaring yet another Best App Name Ever (because we can)! We fukkin love this …
LOL … see what we did there? And you thought we were randomly dropping F-Bombs. Nope, it was serving a clever purpose … either that or you’re right, we do suck.
So let’s take a closer look at i-Fukkin (LOL, sorry – it’s still funny) … sans name, it’s pretty hysterical as a standalone. Please note in i-Fukkin’s description below … “Fukkin” means “Abdominal Muscle” in Japanese.
Oh that sexy cheer girl is so motivating. We can pretty much guarantee that i-Fukkin is the quickest way to an attractive six-pack. Why would you ever want to stop doing sit-ups when sexy Japanese cheer girl is dishing out encouraging commentary? And the best part … at the end of your workout (if you decide to actually stop), you get the fukkin awesome “Double Peace Sign Winky” gesture. That alone is worth the $0.99 you plunk down for i-Fukkin!
And finally, we’ll leave you with an i-Fukkin demonstration video from developer i-Labo. This presentation should clearly punctuate just how ridiculous … errr … cool you’ll look at the gym, doing sit-ups while holding your iPhone and drooling over cheer girl. Oh, and i-fukkin really want one of those wicked i-Fukkin t-shirts!
Wipe Your Ass & Smear Shit On Your Friend’s Face – Surprised There’s An App For That?
Hmmm, not quite sure what to make of this next iPhone app. We really don’t have a clever angle or an interesting hook. Guess we’ll just jump right in and take care of business (no pun intended). Oh … maybe a “WTF” is an appropriate lead-in … yeah, we think so.
Ok, so we’re talking about the iWipe app from FJM Studios. Its purpose is twofold …
Wipe your ass with your iPhone
Smear shit all over your friend’s face
Lovely, isn’t it? Good call Mr. App Approver! Not sure which part is worse … the wiping your ass with your iPhone thing or smearing shit all over your friend’s face. Actually, we think there is more to this app than the simple “Wipe & Smear” functionality … but honestly, we were so disturbed with the mental image of smearing krap on someone’s face,
iWipe lost us at “Hello”.
So with any original app making its debut in the App Store (we’re pretty sure iWipe is the only Wipe & Smear app available … at least we hope it is), there tends to be an onslaught of copy-apps. So brace yourself, you know they’re coming … Sexy Bikini Girl Smear – Creepy Zombie Wiper – iWipe T-Pain. And of course the “Take A Leak On Someone’s Head” app … iPiss … is right around the corner.
Love this Steve Jobs quote from yesterday’s 2 billion downloads press release – it really sums up our feelings about the Wipe Shit All Over Your Friends Face app …
"The App Store has reinvented what you can do with a mobile handheld device, and our users are clearly loving it."
LMAO! You funny Steve – you funny!
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