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Archives

Because Hot Chicks Smoking Cigarettes Make Us Horny – Smoking Girls App

Perhaps one of the most underappreciated applications in the entire App Store and to this day, it still baffles us why this isn’t the #1 Paid app … Smoking Girls. They really don’t get much ~~lamer~~ better than this! For 99 cents, you get a hot chick … wearing a skimpy outfit … sucking away on a cigarette. WOW!

And the purpose of this app … do you really need to ask? Fire crotch cancer stick girl is there to keep you company – DUH!

LMAO … damn that Delilah is so hot. And smoking is so cool. Just a ~~FAIL~~ high quality epic application on so many levels.

October 15, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 6 Comments

First Grab Bag App Now Available – Will Anyone Buy It? [Mystery App]

With over 275,000 applications available for download, unless you are a big name publisher like EA, Gameloft or Chillingo, it’s tough to get noticed. Developers have attempted all sorts of promotional techniques … price drops – lite/free versions – SwappIt codes … and while these methods can help, it’s still a challenge to get publicity and eventually convert “window shoppers” to buying customers.

Well the folks at DKDesign have come up with an App Store first in terms of marketing their iPhone application. What’s the app DKDesign is selling … we have no clue … and that’s just the way like it.

Mystery App is … is …

Who knows what the hell Mystery App is … that’s pretty much the point of this 99 cent offering. DKDesign is betting on people’s curiosity and appeal to risk. The app’s description teases … almost double-dog-daring you to download the app …

Now kudos to DKDesign for thinking outside the box with their grab bag approach to selling apps … however will this approach work?

Perhaps we’re biased since our site focuses on all the sacks of suck available in the App Store … but promises of “maybe it’s a game”, “maybe it’s a useful app”, “maybe it’s something different” just doesn’t float our boat.

SPOILER ALERT

Per the review below, it looks like Luis Gutierrez bit the Mystery App bait. What did Luis get for his 99 pennies? Krapp … a fortune telling application that spits our cheesy sayings. We like Luis … his thinking mirrors ours as we scratch our heads daily and wonder out loud … “I have to question the decision making involved with allowing this app to hit the App Store.”

October 14, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | Leave a Comment

App Lets You Polish A Three Dimensional Turd – Why? [Now FREE]

The saying goes … “You Can’t Polish A Turd” … meh, whoever coined that phrase is certainly not an iPhone owner.

Polish It is an application which lets you polish your own poop. The app displays a gorgeous three dimensional turd and your task is to rub, rub, rub it … until it’s completely polished.

Now before you dismiss Polish It as just another useless krapp app … think of all the wonderful benefits polishing one’s turd with Polish It can deliver …

THERAPEUTIC – rubbing three dimensional poop … it’s nice
CONVENIENT – on the bus, at work, watching TV, etc.
SANITARY – no mess, smell or icky germs
SOCIAL – save polished poops and email them to your friends

Still not convinced that Polish It should be inducted in the App Hall Of Fame? Then watch the extremely convincing promo video below … it’ll be good for at least a few laughs.

POLISH IT FREE FOR A LIMITED TIME
We know most folks would have gladly paid 99 cents for the opportunity of polishing their own poop … so this has to be really exciting news … Polish It [iTunes] is now FREE until October 21! Click here to download Polish It for FREE … and experience why this app is a real game changer.

October 13, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Games | 10 Comments

For Only $40 This App Will Help You Become An Asshole

Payton Kane is ~~a douchebag~~ THE man. He’s a ninja at bagging chicks … a self-proclaimed master pick-up artist. He ~~scams~~ shares his wisdom through radio talk shows, home study courses and seminars ranging from $199 to $9,875. Just look at the pictures of Payton below … touching on, feeling up and groping hot chicks … dude is our idol!

So how does a man with a receding hairline do it? How does Payton Kane bang all these lovely babes without paying them? Payton will tell you in his new iPhone app … Seduce, Conquer and Destroy – The Ultimate Dating Home Study Course … but it’ll cost you the bargain price of $39.99.

Now Payton is no moron. He knows that before someone plunks down a cool 40 bones, he better hook the ~~sucker~~ prospect with intriguing promises in the app’s description like …

Learn how to manipulate her
Learn how to use her emotions and looks against her
Learn how to get the instant upper hand
Learn how to not let her know what your intentions are
Learn how to control her
Learn how to tame her
Learn how to string her along
Learn how to control your wife or girlfriend
Learn how to wrap her right around your finger

Basically Payton will teach you how to be a REAL man … because REAL men treat women like shit … seduce, conquer and destroy. Hooray – for only $40 … you too can become an asshole today!

October 12, 2010 | Filed Under Lifestyle | 4 Comments

Chocolate, Cork Board & Bonsai Garden – iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper 3-Pack [Download]

Below is our latest selections of super cool iOS 4 iPhone 4 home screen wallpapers. Enjoy!

[Download directly to iPhone’s camera roll by touching the image, press and hold the image on its new page and select save]

Box Of Chocolates

Cork Board (via kimmee58)

Bonsai Garden (via Kodake)

October 11, 2010 | Filed Under News | 1 Comment

WTF, Halloween Tampon Ghosts And Bats – plus Recap Week Of October 4

Subscribe to our RSS feed and/or download the 100% free KRAPPS iPhone app … it’ll make you feel better!

In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

October 4: Destroy Bedroom Spontaneity With The Sex Organizer App

October 5: How To Spot An iPad Owner [Cartoon]

October 6: HELP! There’s A Transvestite Trapped In My iPhone – PeekaBoo Tranny App

October 7: Really Apple? ‘Lesbian Videos’ And ‘Breast Videos’ Approved For Sale

October 8: Jersey Shore Photo App, Jersify, Is Now FREE [T-Shirt Giveaways]

October 9: Zombies Ate My Baby – We Bought This App Solely Based On Its Name

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Halloween Tampon Ghosts And Bats [DIY]

Hooray … Halloween is exactly three weeks away! And now is the perfect time to enjoy some lovely Halloween arts and crafts … which can then be used to decorate your home. We found the following creations on TamponCrafts.com … which contains step-by-step directions for making your own Tampons of Terror. Meh … who needs legos when you have tampons!

Tampon Ghost
Some glue, some wiggle eyes … and BOO … you are good to go.

Tampon Bat
Talk about resourceful, this one even uses the plastic applicator to create the bat’s head.

October 10, 2010 | Filed Under News, Recap | Leave a Comment

Zombies Ate My Baby – We Bought This App Solely Based On Its Name

Rarely do we purchase an app solely based on its name … actually, we lie … we never have (although we were close to pulling the trigger on the Lesbian Videos application). Well that all came to an end the other day when we discovered Zombies Ate My Baby [iTunes $0.99] … this iPhone game had us at “hello”.

With a name like Zombies Ate My Baby, we’ll refrain from an in-depth, comprehensive review … pretty much all you need to know is that the game features a hot chick (Cheyenne) and she shoots zombies = WINNER!

Zombies Ate My Baby (love writing that) is well made, polished, contains killer graphics and is totally entertaining. Gameplay is simple – yet highly addictive. There’s OpenFeint integration (achievements and leaderboards), various game modes and cool comics which guide you through the entire experience. For 99 cents, the app provides tons of zombie blasting fun … this we like!

But besides the kick ass features described above, Zombies Ate My Baby has yet another bonus … an original theme song. This tune is so epic that it is now the official ringtone of our iPhone 4 … a real head-turner when our device starts belting out the lyrics – “Zombies, Zombies, Zombies … Ate My Baby!” … hear it for yourself by clicking the promo video below.