iPhone Born In The Jungles Of Guatemala, Not Cupertino (Video Proof)

So after 13 years the truth finally comes out! This whole revolutionary iPhone idea … MEH, Steve Jobs ain’t so brilliant after all.

It was a dude named Dutch … covered in mud … deep inside the jungles of Guatemala. This is where the iPhone was born … this is where the vision began … from one ugly motherf*cker … iPredator! 

[apologies to those attempting to view this Flash-based video on the iPhone … we failed to read the Steve Jobs “Flash Is No Longer Necessary” memo]

(via Buzzfeed)

Medical Ailment Linked To iPhone 4 [Comic Strip]

How can you tell you’re turning into an iPhone 4? By now the answer should be fairly obvious … but just in case there’s any confusion, check out this brilliant comic strip by Murray The Nut.

turning-into-an-iphone

Spanking The Donkey – We’re Still Talking About An iPhone Game, Right?

Nothing really to see here, folks, move along …

It’s a free iPhone game … it’s called Spanking The Donkey [iTunes Free].

spanking-the-donkey-title

To spank the donkey, just shake the iPhone up and down as fast as you can. Be sure to check out the Resistance Mode, “keep spanking to test your endurance and improve your spank during a long spanking session.”

spanking-the-donkey-1

Oh, did we mention it’s called Spanking The Donkey?

spanking-the-donkey-2

spanking-the-donkey-3

Again people … nothing to see here, move along. Our motives were purely selfish … we wanted to be the only non-porn website on the Internet to feature Spanking The Donkey. Yeah, we did mention it’s called Spanking The Donkey, right? LOL.

Donkey Kong iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper- plus Recap Week Of July 5

Ad-Krapps-170x170 In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

July 5: Tap Tap Vuvuzela For iPhone – C’mon Tapulous, Make It

July 6: Disturbing New Way To Hold iPhone 4

July 7: Turn Your iPhone Into A Frickin’ Laser, Moving Fan, Real Flashlight And More

July 8: Ultimate Pac-Man iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper Collection [10 Downloads]

July 9: 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid App Advices Users To ‘Shit In Their Bed’

July 10: LandFormer – Puzzles Undisguised [iPhone Game Review]

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Donkey Kong iPhone iOS 4 Home Screen Wallpaper

DK1 So a few days ago we presented an awesome collection of 10 different  Pac-Man wallpapers (well technically 9 Pac-Man and 1 Ms. Pac-Man) … specifically designed for the iPhone 4 iOS 4 (640×960 size). Very cool stuff and chicks dig us cuz we now use one of the Pac-Man designs our home screen wallpaper.

But similar to Donkey Kong released in 1981 … a year after Pac-Man … the Donkey Kong iPhone 4 iOS 4 wallpaper once again follows in Pac-Man’s footsteps. Created by Geeky Gadgets reader Taylor Griffin, the Donkey Kong wallpaper is best suited for your iPhone’s home screen and cleverly integrates Mario, Pauline, Donkey Kong, girders, ladders, barrels and more.

Download directly to iPhone’s camera roll by touching the image, press and hold the image on its new page and select save. Enjoy!

Doonkey Kong iPhone Wallpaper

100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid App Advices Users To ‘Shit In Their Bed’

cuddle party Looking to hook up with some hottie and do the nasty like a rock star? No worries, you’re in luck. There are literally hundreds of apps to help you get laid … “Get Any Girl : The Ultimate Pickup Guide” … “How To Get Girls Into Bed Without Trying” … and even Vampire, Redneck or Robot Pickup Lines.

But what if you’re not looking to score? What if you wear one of those purity rings … or prefer a cuddle party to a naked party? Can the iPhone actually help you avoid having sex?

Good news for those aiming to become the next 40-year-old virgin … yesterday a new free application hit the App Store … 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid [iTunes Free].

Ways-To-not-Get-Laid-title

Actually if you think about it, 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid is quite the life saver …

On a shitty blind date? … what does the app suggest … “tell them you can suck your own member” … boom, no sex!

After undressing your potential bang buddy for the first time, you discover a third nipple … what does the app suggest … “shit in their bed” … boom, no sex!

Ways-To-not-Get-Laid-1  Ways-To-not-Get-Laid-2

And of course other classic action plans like … “pull your tampon out. swing it around your head and yell ‘your goin’ down goliath!’” … and of course the fail-proof … “keep saying ‘I think that would fit up my butt’”.

Ways-To-not-Get-Laid-3  Ways-To-not-Get-Laid-4

Yeah, 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid might not change the world … but if suddenly you come face-to-face with a one-eyed willy covered in disgusting warts (ewww), you’ll be sure glad you downloaded 100+ Ways To NOT Get Laid and “shit in their bed”.

Ultimate Pac-Man iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper Collection [10 Downloads]

apple-pac-man Gotta love graphic designer geeks. Yesterday the big boy tech blogs (Gizmodo, Engadget, TUAW, etc.) posted a killer Pac-Man iPhone 4 iOS 4 home screen wallpaper … which as far as we can tell, originated on a Japanese website (currently now working, the big boys broke it). So immediately the graphic designers got their panties in a bundle … saying how this Japanese version was crappiely executed, didn’t resemble the original arcade game … basically a piss poor effort. They vowed to rebuild it … making it better than it was before … better, stronger, faster.

For convenient download and to satisfy your inner Pac-Man mania, below is a collection of “better, stronger, faster” Pac-Man iOS 4 wallpapers which were all created and released within 24 hours of the original Japanese version. If you suck at making decisions and want all ten Pac-Man wallpapers CLICK HERE for a ZIP file.

[please note: all images are the proper 640×960 size for iPhone 4 iOS 4 and designed to be used as home screen wallpaper … download directly to iPhone’s camera roll by touching the desired image, press and hold the image on its new page and select save.]

Original Pac-Man Wallpaper From Japanese Website Madin
The one that started this current craze … now we wait for Donkey Kong, Space Invaders, Frogger, etc. … come on geeks – if you build it, they will come!

Pac-Man iPhone Wallpaper 1

Pac-Man Wallpaper From Gizmodo Reader kdlc

Pac-Man iPhone Wallpaper 2

Pac-Man & Ms. Pac-Man Wallpapers From Kal Michael

Pac-Man iPhone Wallpaper 3  Ms Pac-Man iPhone Wallpaper

Pac-Man Wallpaper From Geeky Gadgets Reader Taylor Griffin

Pac-Man iPhone Wallpaper 4

Pac-Man Wallpaper From Gizmodo Reader M3tALHaz3

Pac-Man iPhone Wallpaper 5

Pac-Man Wallpapers From Jeffrey Carl Faden

Pac-Man iPhone Wallpaper 6  Pac-Man iPhone Wallpaper 8

Pac-Man iPhone Wallpaper 9  Pac-Man iPhone Wallpaper 7

Turn Your iPhone Into A Frickin’ Laser, Moving Fan, Real Flashlight And More

Holger-Blumler-FINAL First there was the app that turned your iPhone into a portable heater … then into an air blower … and of course the infamous watermelon ripeness detector. But all these useless useful applications pale in comparison to the dynasty of utilities one developer is pumping out … dude’s name is Holger Blumler … and his eccentric company is HMB-TEC

Holger Blumler is an interesting fellow. Picture the freaky scientist Doc Brown from Back To The Future. But instead of tinkering with a DeLorean and the flux capacitor … Holger spends his time messing with the iPhone’s 3.5mm headphone jack. And with assorted external attachments (all available for sale on HMB-TEC’s site), coupled with correct calculations … when the iPhone launches Holger’s apps, you’re going to see some serious shit …

iPocketFan
Just like it sounds … stick a propeller in the headphone jack, crank up the iPhone’s volume and boom … revolutionary refreshing air!

SoccerPlug
Forgive Holger … he’s from Germany and their soccer team is kicking major ass in the World Cup. So being a freak football fan, Holger couldn’t resist an app that waves the German (or any nation) flag from the iPhone accompanied by various obnoxious soccer sounds. Heartbreaking however that Holger didn’t develop a vuvuzela attachment.

iLaserPointer
Turn your iPhone into a FICKIN’ LASER … enough said … awesome!

LED Flashlight
So some weak sauce developers are using the iPhone 4’s flash as a flashlight app … MEH. Holger is way ahead of those dorks … check out the original, pre-iPhone 4, LED flashlight … complete with a handy, built-in, SOS Morse code distress signal (· · · — — — · · ·). 

 

And Holger’s madness doesn’t stop with the above … mobile alarm system [YouTube], aromatherapy [YouTube], thermometer, stethoscope, heart monitor, microphone, infrared remote and more. Like we said, dude is building a dynasty of some serious flux capacitor-like shit … bravo Holger, bravo!

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