Poker Vs. Strong Female Role Models App – Result Of Apple’s ‘Overtly Sexual’ Policy

Ladies and gentlemen … the story you are about to read is true. The facts have NOT been changed to protect the innocent. 

Headlight Software has been in business since 1997 … creating high quality utilities and web-based services. With over 13 million downloads, their first product, GetRight, remains one of the premiere download managers on the market. In 2008, the company began developing iPhone apps with FTP On The Go (a direct descendant of GetRight) as their inaugural release. Since then, they have branched out into games and other utilities.

Although Headlight Software is a reputable, well-established publisher … their sole “lighthearted” app fell victim to Apple’s recent war on smut apps. Apple deemed the Poker vs. Girls app “overtly sexual” and it was removed from sale. Poker vs. Girls was one of the many strip poker games available for download in iTunes … containing images of girls in lingerie … pretty much the exact same thing you will find in the Victoria’s Secret All Access application (currently available for download).

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So realizing it was time to nut up or shut up (love that movie), Headlight Software chose the former and released a polar opposite version of the “overtly sexual” Poker vs. Girls. As a matter of fact, this new poker app is somewhat inspirational … Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models.

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LMAO … indeed, nothing sexy about playing no limit Texas Hold’em Poker against fully dressed career women … who stay clothed no matter win, lose or draw. Choose from eight different professional females … a Doctor, Fighter Pilot, App Developer, Mathematician and more. And just to play it completely safe (never know with Apple’s arbitrary standards), Headlight Software chose to go the total no flesh route with a Burka-wearing female as their icon.

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So here’s the deal folks … if you’re looking for some steamy strip poker action for your iPhone, Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models is about as close (and we use the term loosely) as you’ll get in Apple’s new squeaky-clean, brand protected App Store. Unless of course a well-known company like Playboy, Maxim, FHM or Hooters decides to publish one. But until then … nut up or shut up … learn to love the Burka!

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Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models (damn we love that name) is a free download [iTunes Free] with two strong female role model opponents available for play. The remaining six strong female role models can be unlocked, but NOT undressed, for only 99 cents. Again … nut up or shut up!

March 2, 2010 | Filed Under Games, News | 7 Comments 

Apple’s Sexy Skin Policy Revealed

Today we salute Michael Burford of Headlight Software for his crowning achievement of figuring out WTF Apple is thinking. Yup … Michael is one of the few developers who actually made sense of Apple’s biggest joke … Section 3.3.12 of the iPhone SDK Agreement.

rejected33 For those of you not familiar with Section 3.3.12, it is Apple’s safeguard to reject apps which contain objectionable content. It reads, “Applications must not contain any obscene, pornographic, offensive, or defamatory content or materials of any kind (text, graphics, images, photographs, etc.)” … ok, fair enough … using common sense, these guidelines are reasonably clear and straightforward.

But Apple continues with a wildcard … “Applications must not contain other content or materials that in Apple’s reasonable judgment may be found objectionable by iPhone or iPod Touch users” … and thus the bullcrap begins = Apple’s Reasonable Judgment.

Mak6nikxprocess In reality, Apple’s reasonable judgment is similar to a 3-year old hopped up on a cotton candy sugar high. Completely out of control, shaking hysterically, bouncing off the ceiling and uttering pure nonsense. “Uh, uh, uh, shake a baby until it dies … APPROVED” – “Uh, uh, uh, kill puppies … APPROVED” – “Uh, uh, uh … flying hot dogs … DENIED”. Step away from the cotton candy Apple – your reasonable judgment objectionable! And that’s why Michael is so impressive … he actually made sense out of Apple’s hysteria.

You see Michael recently released the Poker vs Girls app [iTunes] … a very well made iPhone game of strip poker. Of course strip poker with no skin would be sacrilege. But with Apple hopped up on cotton candy … who knows if they think sexy skin is objectionable. Judging by the Hot Girls, Sexy Ladies Of SHOW, Peekababe and Sexy Girls apps (all in the Top 50 Paid Entertainment apps) – “Uh, uh, uh … sexy skin … APPROVED”. But no slam dunk for Michael’s Poker vs Girls … dude got bounced as Apple claimed some of the app’s sexy skin photographs were  objectionable …

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Huh? … approved pictures … rejected pictures … WTF? Like we said … Michael knows WTF as he reveals in this blog:

People Taking Off Clothes Or In Their Underwear Is OK,
But Pretending To Take Off Underwear Is Not OK.

Well Michael … congrats … you figured out the great Apple WTF mystery. Good luck on the upcoming male version of your app … Poker vs Boys … we look forward to your bulging crotch revelations and guidelines.

June 10, 2009 | Filed Under Games | 7 Comments