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Models Cat Fight On The Catwalk [Video] – plus Recap Week Of October 11

Subscribe to our RSS feed and/or download the 100% free KRAPPS iPhone app … it’ll make you feel better!

In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.

October 11: Chocolate, Cork Board & Bonsai Garden – iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper 3-Pack [Download]

October 12: For Only $40 This App Will Help You Become An Asshole

October 13: App Lets You Polish A Three Dimensional Turd – Why? [Now FREE]

October 14: First Grab Bag App Now Available – Will Anyone Buy It? [Mystery App]

October 15: Because Hot Chicks Smoking Cigarettes Make Us Horny – Smoking Girls App

October 16: Danger! Dodgeball, Will Robinson [App Review]

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Models Cat Fight On The Catwalk

Don’t worry if it’s real or fake (can be argued either way). Just enjoy these two Russian models who bear a striking resemblance to Ivan Drago in Rocky IV … I Must Break You!

October 17, 2010 | Filed Under News, Recap | 3 Comments

Danger! Dodgeball, Will Robinson [App Review]

(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)

I haven’t played dodgeball since gradeschool, but I still remember the feeling when those red rubber missiles strike. I am happy to report that Danger! Dodgeball for iPhone/iPod Touch [iTunes $0.99] and Danger! Dodgeball HD for iPad [iTunes $1.99] appear to leave no welts.

The game has one of the better "training" modes that I have seen, taking you through all of the skills necessary to do well in the survival mode. And this ain’t no walk in the park, er playground. Your opponent is one tough schoolyard bully. He’s quick, he’s accurate and he’s not your friend.

The controls are simple and intuitive. Tilt left and right to move and dodge. Tilt forward to throw the ball. As you tilt forward, you can also affect the flight of the ball by adding a little side motion. It feels a little clunkier at first on the iPad, but once you find the range of tilt necessary to make the moves, it gets easier.

There are a set of powerups available to give you either health or special shots: "giant ball" is just that, a huge ball to throw for extra points; "shotgun" gives you three balls to throw at once; "multiball" allows you to throw a succession of balls rapidly for maximum striking opportunities. The "shotgun" is also handy for hitting both the opponent and the occasionally appearing graffiti artist as he marks up the back wall.

Not to be outdone, the bully gets some special shots of his own, including a fantastic to watch "matrix style" set of slow-motion balls that are particularly hard to dodge. The HD iPad version sports some additional power ups including a wicked curve ball and the ultimate defense, a force field.

The game is integrated with OpenFeint for global leaderboards. The game sports both music and sound effects that can be independently turned on or off. The authentic "poonk" sound when two balls collide in midair is especially hilarious.

At 99 cents for the iPhone version [iTunes] and $1.99 for the iPad version [iTunes], you get more than your money’s worth. It’s a great action game to just pick up and play whenever the mood strikes you to relive childhood activities.

October 16, 2010 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Games, Guest Authors | Leave a Comment

Because Hot Chicks Smoking Cigarettes Make Us Horny – Smoking Girls App

Perhaps one of the most underappreciated applications in the entire App Store and to this day, it still baffles us why this isn’t the #1 Paid app … Smoking Girls. They really don’t get much ~~lamer~~ better than this! For 99 cents, you get a hot chick … wearing a skimpy outfit … sucking away on a cigarette. WOW!

And the purpose of this app … do you really need to ask? Fire crotch cancer stick girl is there to keep you company – DUH!

LMAO … damn that Delilah is so hot. And smoking is so cool. Just a ~~FAIL~~ high quality epic application on so many levels.

October 15, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | 6 Comments

First Grab Bag App Now Available – Will Anyone Buy It? [Mystery App]

With over 275,000 applications available for download, unless you are a big name publisher like EA, Gameloft or Chillingo, it’s tough to get noticed. Developers have attempted all sorts of promotional techniques … price drops – lite/free versions – SwappIt codes … and while these methods can help, it’s still a challenge to get publicity and eventually convert “window shoppers” to buying customers.

Well the folks at DKDesign have come up with an App Store first in terms of marketing their iPhone application. What’s the app DKDesign is selling … we have no clue … and that’s just the way like it.

Mystery App is … is …

Who knows what the hell Mystery App is … that’s pretty much the point of this 99 cent offering. DKDesign is betting on people’s curiosity and appeal to risk. The app’s description teases … almost double-dog-daring you to download the app …

Now kudos to DKDesign for thinking outside the box with their grab bag approach to selling apps … however will this approach work?

Perhaps we’re biased since our site focuses on all the sacks of suck available in the App Store … but promises of “maybe it’s a game”, “maybe it’s a useful app”, “maybe it’s something different” just doesn’t float our boat.

SPOILER ALERT

Per the review below, it looks like Luis Gutierrez bit the Mystery App bait. What did Luis get for his 99 pennies? Krapp … a fortune telling application that spits our cheesy sayings. We like Luis … his thinking mirrors ours as we scratch our heads daily and wonder out loud … “I have to question the decision making involved with allowing this app to hit the App Store.”

October 14, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment | Leave a Comment

App Lets You Polish A Three Dimensional Turd – Why? [Now FREE]

The saying goes … “You Can’t Polish A Turd” … meh, whoever coined that phrase is certainly not an iPhone owner.

Polish It is an application which lets you polish your own poop. The app displays a gorgeous three dimensional turd and your task is to rub, rub, rub it … until it’s completely polished.

Now before you dismiss Polish It as just another useless krapp app … think of all the wonderful benefits polishing one’s turd with Polish It can deliver …

THERAPEUTIC – rubbing three dimensional poop … it’s nice
CONVENIENT – on the bus, at work, watching TV, etc.
SANITARY – no mess, smell or icky germs
SOCIAL – save polished poops and email them to your friends

Still not convinced that Polish It should be inducted in the App Hall Of Fame? Then watch the extremely convincing promo video below … it’ll be good for at least a few laughs.

POLISH IT FREE FOR A LIMITED TIME
We know most folks would have gladly paid 99 cents for the opportunity of polishing their own poop … so this has to be really exciting news … Polish It [iTunes] is now FREE until October 21! Click here to download Polish It for FREE … and experience why this app is a real game changer.

October 13, 2010 | Filed Under Entertainment, Games | 10 Comments

For Only $40 This App Will Help You Become An Asshole

Payton Kane is ~~a douchebag~~ THE man. He’s a ninja at bagging chicks … a self-proclaimed master pick-up artist. He ~~scams~~ shares his wisdom through radio talk shows, home study courses and seminars ranging from $199 to $9,875. Just look at the pictures of Payton below … touching on, feeling up and groping hot chicks … dude is our idol!

So how does a man with a receding hairline do it? How does Payton Kane bang all these lovely babes without paying them? Payton will tell you in his new iPhone app … Seduce, Conquer and Destroy – The Ultimate Dating Home Study Course … but it’ll cost you the bargain price of $39.99.

Now Payton is no moron. He knows that before someone plunks down a cool 40 bones, he better hook the ~~sucker~~ prospect with intriguing promises in the app’s description like …

Learn how to manipulate her
Learn how to use her emotions and looks against her
Learn how to get the instant upper hand
Learn how to not let her know what your intentions are
Learn how to control her
Learn how to tame her
Learn how to string her along
Learn how to control your wife or girlfriend
Learn how to wrap her right around your finger

Basically Payton will teach you how to be a REAL man … because REAL men treat women like shit … seduce, conquer and destroy. Hooray – for only $40 … you too can become an asshole today!