Shake Baby Until It Dies Update

shakebabytweet We went live with the our Baby Shaker story early this morning around 1:00am PST, including an announcement on Twitter. The first retweet was at 5:30am PST by @Dixwifey. From there, the word started to spread. We made a timezone re-tweet at 10:45am PST and after that, all hell broke loose with multiple re-tweets, passionate comments and outcries towards Apple requesting that Baby Shaker be removed from the App Store.

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At 11:07am PST, CNET broke the Baby Shaker story on their site (crediting KRAPPS). Shortly thereafter, Tech Crunch broke the story (crediting CNET). Twitter was going off with Baby Shaker tweets and retweets (still is at the time of writing). At approximately 3:30pm PST, mainstream media has picked up the Baby Shaker story: New York Times, Boston Herald, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times and more by the minute via Google News search.

In the end, the people were heard and Apple removed Baby Shaker … but not without exposure to a seriously flawed application approval system.

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Child abuse is not funny … shaking a baby on your iPhone until it dies is just F’ed up (just read the viewer comments below for real life child abuse horror stories) and not a laughing nor entertaining matter.

 

To conclude, reading the various Baby Shaker buzz, we’ve been noticing that Apple fanboy thinks Apple can do no wrong … saying Baby Shaker is not Apple’s fault, rather the developers. Uhhhh, WRONG NUT JOB! Apple is 100% responsible for the products they sell. Doesn’t matter if they developed it or not … if Apple sells it, they are responsible for the product … so STFU Apple fanboy and mix in a dose of reality.

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April 22, 2009 | Filed Under News, Uncategorized | 127 Comments 

Appy Newz Cover Contest

AppyNewzIcon Contests are cool! We love ‘em and judging by our past promotions, you love ‘em as well. So KRAPPS has teamed up with Appy Entertainment to present our viewers the Appy Newz Cover Contest – a fun, unique and easy-to-enter competition for some really awesome prizes. Click here for more information about Appy Newz in our anti-KRAPPS article.

Entry Dates:
Now through Wednesday, April 29, 2009

How To Enter:
Create a custom cover using your Appy Newz iPhone app (click here if you need to purchase). Each individual can submit up to 3 covers. Email covers to info@KRAPPS.com

A celebrity panel (including Fake Steve Jobs and Appy) will judge covers by a variety of factors: originality, creativity, humor and more. Please note, covers do not have to necessarily be a strict tabloid magazine cover … could be a Mother’s Day Card or maybe a Party Invitation … use your imagination, get creative, win a prize

For your viewing pleasure, all entries will be displayed at Appy’s Flickr page

KRAPPS_Shirt Prizes:
Grand Prize – Be The App and KRAPPS T-Shirt
What is this Be The App??? … talk about unique … you will become part of Appy Newz … either as a permanent face or a background object. yes – you will Be The App and immortalized forever in Appy Newz. Be advised, immortality is complex and not an overnight slam dunk … rest assured, the grand prize winner will indeed Be The App, but factoring in production schedules and Apple’s approval process, immortality might take a bit of time.

Second Place – Autographed Appy Newz Logo Print and KRAPPS T-Shirt
Appy memorabilia rocks … receive a high quality color print of the Appy Newz logo signed by everyone at Appy Entertainment who was responsible for its launch.

Third Place – Autographed Appy Character Print and $12 Starbucks Gift Card
More rockin’ Appy memorabilia … receive a high quality color print of the Appy character signed by its creator/artist Farzad. and yes, not a typo … $12 Starbucks card … why? – cuz we’re just weird like that.

Fourth Place – Autographed Appy Character Print and $8 Starbucks Gift Card

Fifth Place – Autographed Appy Character Print

So start your creative engines and get movin’ … good luck to all!

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April 22, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, News | 4 Comments 

Baby Shaker – It’s Not Funny Apple!

(update: app has been removed – CLICK HERE for details)

Our apologies in advance – this will not be a typical KRAPPS post. To borrow a baseball analogy, our mission is to hit what Apple tees up and this next one is going out of the park.

Ever hear of SBS? Per Wikipedia … “Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS) is a form of child abuse that occurs when an abuser violently shakes an infant, creating a whiplash-type motion that causes acceleration-deceleration injuries. The injury is estimated to affect between 1,200 and 1,600 children every year in the USA. SBS is often fatal and can cause severe brain damage, resulting in lifelong disability.” Besides death and brain damage, shaking a baby can cause blindness, leaning problems, seizure disorders, cerebral palsy and paralysis. Yeah, pretty disgusting stuff … repulsive and sickening.

So obviously child abuse is no laughing matter … and maybe it’s just us, but we would never even joke about child abuse and use it as a form of entertainment. Maybe we’re just square pegs and out of the norm because apparently Apple and the folks at Sikalosoft think shaking a baby is funny. Head to the App Store … and search the Entertainment category … there you will find the Baby Shaker iPhone app.

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Now don’t get us wrong – we’re not on some vigilante justice hunt. We know there was no malicious intent by Sikalosoft. And we know that Apple are complete dumbasses when it comes to approving apps (even if the app includes a disclaimer – “Never, never shake a baby”), driven by quantity over quality. But come one … combining the title Baby Shaker with the objective of stopping an annoying crying baby is simply irresponsible and utterly idiotic. You would think Apple would stay totally clear of any iPhone app remotely resembling child abuse … but if you’ve paid any attention to KRAPPS, it’s really not surprising.

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loser Ok, we get it … crying babies can indeed get annoying. On a plane, at a restaurant, in the hotel room next to yours … we get it, annoying … shut that kid up! But Apple, try using just half your freaking money-making brain and reject Baby Shaker … tell Sikalosoft to make some revisions, call the damn thing Pacify Junior and mix in some pacifiers to calm the baby down. See how easy that was … simple stuff, sort of funny while protecting the integrity of the Apple brand. And never forget … reality bites – release Baby Shaker and you get douchebag users leaving loser reviews like the one below (yeah, look for it … look for the word CHOCKING) …

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April 22, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 1,191 Comments 

Who Poops Gold?

Hi … question for ya … what do you do when you’re pooping on the toilet? No … seriously … we wanna know – when you’re sitting on the porcelain throne, whatcha got going?

funnytoilet1 LOL – too personal? Fair enough. But we promise we have a point – we ain’t that freaky (well we are, we just won’t admit it).

Actually, picture this scene from the Family Feud game show … “100 people surveyed – top seven answers on the board –here’s the question – Name Something People Do While Taking A Poop … BEEEEEEP … read a newspaper …
yes, #1 answer!”

So ok, read a newspaper, what else … cut your fingernails? … homework? … eat? … listen to music? … tequila shots? And we think it’s safe to assume plenty of iPhone action on the pooper – textin’, emailin’, twitterin’, gamin’, etc.

poopriceturd But hey … here’s a great pooping activity – and it comes highly recommended by Apple. Next time you’re dropping the kids of at the pool while at work … whip out your betchin’ iPhone and calculate your poo’s worth. Yup – you got it … introducing the latest and greatest app approved by Apple … Poo Price (by Gourmet Pixel) … the only application that calculates the value of your dump. Yeah it’s dope (NOT) … just keep reading the app’s description for further awesomeness proof …

“Going to the toilet during work hours – it’s a clever thing to do! You’re getting paid for it and now you can work out how much. This clever app will calculate how much you’re being payed for taking a toilet break, choose your currency, enter your yearly salary and press the Start button. All you have to do then is finish your dirty work, click Stop and see the results!”

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GENIUS! We’re sold! Freaking Apple just keeps rockin’ da house! And rumor has it that even Steve-o Jobs uses Poo Price … but his shit don’t stink and is certainly worth more bills that yours. Which gets us thinking … there should be a Poo Price-off … Steve Jobs versus Bill Gates. Screw the whole “I’m a Mac vs PC” nonsense … give the people what they really want … Steve or Bill … who craps the most gold?

April 21, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 2 Comments 

The Impossible Dream

funnypee1 Back in February, we ran an article titled History Was Made, Sort Of. We opened the article by commenting on the massive number of fart, burp and vomit KRAPPS that were beginning to appear in the App Store. The story continued stating that even with all these  KRAPPS launching, there were still no urine apps … and while we could foresee a day when a urine app could get approved from Apple, we concluded that a urine sound effect app was just too crude and vulgar – even for Apple’s relaxed standards. So we settled for the next best thing, urine assistant apps, apps that help you pee in public when you get stage fright … the iPee and Shy Bladder apps.

(by the way, after our article hit Twitter … @Shy_Bladder began following us … go figure)

Boy have times have changed … flash forward two months and what we thought would be impossible for Apple to approve … we are shocked once again.

pee_factoryIcon So you get where this is going … The Pee Factory app by Talus Media. A proud and historic Apple moment … the first iPhone app which simulates the sound of taking a leak .. and the newest member of the Appa iFonna Chi fraternity. With a simple touch of a button, you can make your friends think you’re peeing on their couch, in their car, in a water bottle or wherever. Pissing intensities vary from “Tinkle” …. to “Like A Race Horse”.

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But hold on, it gets better. The Pee Factory is no rudimentary pee pee app … oh no … this is advanced pissing technology at its finest! It’s like virtual reality pissing – you can control the intensity of urine flow by holding your iPhone up or down … you can sprinkle your pee by rapidly tilting/shaking your iPhone (gee, wonder what that’s supposed to simulate). And since this is such a complex app, thank God Talus Media included detailed instructions on how to properly use The Pee Factory …

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So everyone – please take a moment to reflect. Reflect on this new achievement of krap from Apple. Reflect on your dreams and no matter what, never give up … rather follow those dreams to their fullest … because if Apple can approve a pissing app, then any dream is possible. And thank you Apple!  … Thank you for this daily inspiration and of course, just what we need … a PISSING iPhone.

April 20, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 18 Comments 

A Better Pocket God

PocketGodPygmy Like most of you, we love Pocket God … a hilarious interactive application where you play god and rule an island populated with primitive pygmies. As the island’s god, you have all sorts of powers over the islanders, being as kool or krappy as you want to your peeps. It really is a tight app which stays fresh with weekly updates. At 99 cents, Pocket God has established a cult following and no wonder it’s #12 on Apple’s newly released All Time Paid Apps list. But whatever … spend the buck, get the app, check it out for yourself.

PocketGodOUCH! So yeah, we dig Pocket God and since we’re freaks, we tend to treat our pygmy crew pretty krappy. But even the most sadistic methods within Pocket God (feeding pygmies to sharks, throwing them into volcanoes, etc) left us yearning for more. We just want to be able to kick it up a notch … sprinkle a bit of South Park pixie dust into Pocket God … and throw in a taste of Beavis and Butt-head for good measure. We kinda feel bad wanting more from Pocket God … but if Apple can approve all these sexed-up apps, why can’t a shark tear off a pygmy’s arm?

Anyways, we can’t let it go … so we’ll simply present this awesome video we found that expresses our feelings … and hopefully Apple will do the right thing!

 

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April 18, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 44 Comments 

Appy Newz – The Wind Beneath Our Wings

Free Appy Newz app giveaway – see end of article for details

We can only take so much KRAPPS. Sometimes we need an escape. Today we take a KRAPPS break … today we look for sunshine in the App Store.

AppyNewzIcon Last Friday, Appy Entertainment released their first iPhone app –
Appy Newz – enabling users to create custom tabloid-style magazine covers as described below:

Step 1: Select an image (typically a face) to customize from either pre-loaded images or from your iPhone’s camera roll. Customize face with choice of 22 Masks, 31 Hair-types and 17 Facial features.
Step 2: Drag customized face into the tabloid cover where you can choose from 42 poses.
Step 3: Choose from 38 tabloid backgrounds or import your own background from images saved to your iPhone’s camera roll.
Step 4: Choose from 35 different objects to include in your tabloid cover.
Step 5: Enter your choice of copy in three text box areas.
Step 6: Preview and save image to app’s Cover Gallery and iPhone’s camera roll.

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The entire creation process takes just minutes or if you’re in a panic, simply tap the “Shake It To Make It” button and Appy Newz will spit out a custom cover in 2.37 seconds.

But strange things happen every time we use Appy Newz … the letters Q-C-E-V keep popping into our head. This “QCEV Syndrome” freaked us out, so we consulted Madame Scarabego who revealed QCEV = Quality – Creativity – Entertainment – Value.

QUALITY
AppySleepAwake Sort of like garlic – Appy Newz reeks of quality. From the moment the app is launched, the user is rewarded with phenomenal build and attention to details. The launch screen loads with an eyes shut/sleeping Appy … once the app completes loading, Appy wakes up and opens its eyes. Another example is when you complete your tabloid cover a cheering crowd sound effect plays as if to congratulate you on your new creation. Such details are abundant and well polished throughout the app.

The build is flawless … swiping through customized selections (hair, backgrounds, objects, etc.) is smooth and never stalls. No crashes. The user interface is easy to navigate and very intuitive. Our fave feature is scaling images … WOW … pinch, expand, rotate, move left or right, etc … all image scaling is absolute perfection!

CREATIVITY
The foundation of Appy Newz is customization … which in turn breeds creativity. This app will exercise the right side of your brain … and not just the snarky brain cells (as their video projects) – but also the kinder, gentler cells.

Mother’s Day – flowers suck, give mom the gift of Appy Newz, printed and framed.
Did you piss her off – Appy Newz to the rescue.

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The possibilities with Appy Newz are endless. Take your digital file to CafePress and see what you can create (within reason due to iPhone’s resolution), buttons? a coffee mug?

ENTERTAINMENT
This one is obvious – Appy Newz will keep you coming back for more … 100% Pure Entertainment. Watch the video to see what we’re talking about.

 

VALUE
So considering all of the above and then seeing the $1.99 price tag, you have to think these Appy folks are dumbasses. Heck, we’d charge 2x, 3x, 4x even 5x the $1.99 price. Who knows how long this pricing error will last – but don’t even give it a second thought, just jump on it now. CLICK HERE to purchase Appy Newz. Check their web site for more info.

So in conclusion, we found sunshine in the App Store … they had us at “hello” … we found 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified Appy Newz … the wind beneath our wings.

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FREE Appy Newz To KRAPPS Viewers!
Appy Entertainment was kind enough to provide codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download Appy Newz for FREE. Through Sat, Apr 18 at 11:59pm PST, tweet the message below on Twitter and be entered into the Appy Newz drawing. Good luck!

got iPhone? read the Appy Newz review on @KRAPPS – it’s 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified http://krapps.com/?p=2196

April 17, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Entertainment | 12 Comments 

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