May 25: Bizarre iPhone Promotional Techniques – including an insane & hysterical video
May 26: The Science Of Sex – this is not a joke! sex and science are serious stuff!
May 28: Kittens & Puppies Suck – Just Kill Them – it’s ok, Apple approved it
May 29: We Were Wrong – We Are Sorry – our public “apology” to an iPhone developer
May 30: hideNtweet – Hide & Seek For The iPhone And Twitter – a truly unique game
May 31: Thank You KRAPPS Sponsors – our sponsors rock! check out their cool offerings
We would like to take a brief timeout to thank our valued sponsors. Without their support, there would be no KRAPPS (uh, that doesn’t sound right). All these peeps are solid folks, have quality products and we’re proud to be aligned with them. So support KRAPPS, show our sponsors some love … you’ll become a better person.
Be Seen With KRAPPS
KRAPPS is the only web site dedicated to iPhone humor and fun. Take advantage of our unique niche by advertising on KRAPPS. We offer four different sponsorship packages to ensure participation at a variety of budget levels. Contact us at info@KRAPPS.com to receive our media kit, rate card and to secure your advertising placement.
With the amount of garbage in the App Store, the hideNtweet app is a breath of fresh air. It is a totally unique and original game specifically designed for the iPhone. Think the classic children’s game Hide And Seek … now bring Hide And Seek to the iPhone, couple that with GPS technology and Twitter … and voila – hideNtweet. This app is currently in beta and being developed by Dove Valley Apps. Click here to read our review. Better yet, experience this extraordinary gaming experience yourself … click here to become a beta user.
There’s a reason 100sounds is the #1 soundboard app … cuz it rocks! This app not only provides hundreds of high quality originally recorded sound effects, but also includes loop and delay effects for all your comedic purposes. Plus you can get hundreds of ringtones emailed to you, automatically, at no extra charge! 100sounds was already a bargain at $0.99, so this enhancement makes it a great deal! Click here to view web site, be sure to check out the hysterical user-submitted videos.
VoiceForge: We Build Voices® –
We Make the Internet Talk®
Attention iPhone developers – VoiceForge is an online Text-to-Speech service. They’ve made TTS fast, affordable, and scalable! Tap a huge variety of 60 voices in 5 languages. Using their SOAP based API, simply send text, indicate the voice, and receive back a MP3 or URL. And it’s fast – just 200 milliseconds for audio to be returned. Big fish no problem; our capacity exceeds 100 million synthesis per day. Consumers love personalization – why not "pimp your app" by letting users pick the voice they like? Click here to receive more info, try the demo, or sign up for a free developer’s kit.
Simply put, this app makes you smarter! Binary Game gets your brain juices flowing and is a ton of fun. It’s an original game of binary math which is simple to play and highly addictive. The worldwide leader board satisfies the most uber-competitive gamer, while the Facebook Connect feature pleases those social types. Click here to read our review or click here to purchase from the App Store, click here.
99 Games is an exceptional game developer cranking out such iPhone classics as WordsWorth (ranked as high #1 in the word game category), Chess Pro, Chess Lite, Aqua Jigsaw, and Jigsaw Wild. Their latest offering is Wordulous … an anagram like no others: multiple modes, global scores, Facebook Connect and more. 99 Games is committed to building only the highest quality and most entertaining games possible … all at affordable prices.
This app is a blast! To really appreciate iFight Pro, click here and take a quick look at a demonstration video – it’s really cool. Combine a handgun, rifle, shotgun, slap, whip, gong, sword or punch with one of the eight background music tracks – and you’ll be awarded with a pure quality, enormously fun iPhone app.
update Jul 5: hideNtweet is now available for FREE via iTunes – click here to download
It’s 10:15 on a Sunday morning and I am crouched in one of the many alleys in a small neighborhood near Arizona State University. I check my iPhone map display and see a red plus sign moving in my direction; it’s the seeker blocking my path to the home base. Blue dots indicate the positions of the other players, full grown men experiencing a high tech version of the classic playground game.
This is hideNtweet and we’ve been invited by the developer, John Ellis of Dove Valley Apps, to take part in a beta test. Realizing that the direct approach is not going to work for me, I move off a ways and wait for John, who is currently "it", to chase after somebody else. Once he does, I loop around and head for the base location, which is thankfully near a hammock in the shade. For the next round, I choose to be "it" and the chase is on again!
hideNtweet creatively utilizes the technologies available on the iPhone to fuse the virtual and physical worlds. The camera is used to identify a home base and to tag other players as caught. The GPS and map, complete with sweeping radar indicator, shows all of the player positions. And, to top it all off, the app uses the online Twitter service to announce significant game plays to the participants.
While it is much more fun to play with others, the game also has a "solo" mode where 4 ghost characters will try to evade and outwit you. Ingeniously, the ghosts move through the camera view when you close in for the capture.
If you’re interested in joining in the beta test hijinks, gather up a few friends and head over to http://hideNtweet.com to apply. Please note that since the application is currently in beta test, some of the screens may change before release.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Wow! Talk about a unique gaming experience for the iPhone … totally looking forward to the release of this app. With all the garbage and repeat apps (how many tic-tac-toe apps? – too many!) in the App Store, we applaud Dove Valley Apps for thinking outside the box and working on something truly creative and first of its kind. Rock on guys!
And don’t forget to sign up to be a beta game player … DO IT … it’s fun, free and will make you feel better. Click Here to sign up now.
Here at KRAPPS, we are far from perfect. We screw up – we make mistakes. But we have integrity. We can look ourselves in the mirror and say … You KRAPPS Are A Dumb Ass! Rather than sit around and blow sunshine up each other’s asses, we can admit it when we are wrong.
Three weeks ago we wrote an article Hooking Up With The Gerbil. We came down pretty hard on an iPhone developer group called Arctic Gerbil. We called them out for spamming the App Store with SIX HUNDRED EIGHTY NINE (689) apps. We laughed at the Arctic Gerbil and compared them to some loser dude who hits on every chick he meets, hoping one would finally say “yes” to his advances.
Well guess what … we were wrong for picking on the Arctic Gerbil. Our attack was brash, stupid and totally uncalled for. So we admit it … and we apologize:
Dear Arctic Gerbil … Our Bad – We Are Sorry!
Seriously, think about it. Let’s say you were a gerbil and you lived in the Arctic … life would kind of suck. It’s not like you could golf or skateboard … you’d freeze to death. It’s not like you could catch a movie or a play … there ain’t shit to do in the Arctic. So really you are relegated to indoor activities like sitting on the couch, drinking beer, picking your nose and watching TV. Good times in the Arctic!
But at least the Arctic Gerbil is productive … they are all about iPhone love … reproducing like rabbits in heat. Wham – Bam … a hundred apps. Boink – Boink … another three hundred apps. And with a total of SIX HUNDRED EIGHTY NINE apps – that Arctic Gerbil is one horny bastard.
So today we peeked back into the Arctic Gerbil’s love nest … just to see if they still had the iPhone love. WOW – we were not disappointed! There’s been a whole lotta loving going on – to the tune of over 477 apps in just three weeks … bringing Arctic Gerbil’s total love count to
ONE THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED SIXTY SIX (1,166) apps!!
From what we can tell, their current love child is the iNewsPro application. There are TWO HUNDRED EIGHTY of these bad boys in the App Store. Just think of any city and chances are the Arctic Gerbil spawned it. iNewsPro Enid … Houma … Natchez … Toccoa … Visalia … Elmira … Danville … Kokomo … Yuba City … plus 271 more.
But don’t be a hater! Remember, we were wrong for bashing the Arctic Gerbil. We should all be so lucky to have such love in our life … especially the 280 love child iNewsPro apps. And Apple … please, no need to “fix” the Gerbil … after all, what the world needs now is more love in the App Store.
The sheer volume of completely whacked out apps never ceases to amaze us. It’s like cruising through the developer nuthouse where every programmer is completely psycho. Seriously – we’re thinking these devs are hopped up on nitrous oxide or just sniffed too much glue in elementary school.
Then there’s the Bikini Fart app. If hearing and smelling farts from a chick in a bikini brings you joy … DUDE … you have ISSUES!
Vomit, Urine, Spanking, Lice, Sex Algorithms … the list of freak show apps goes on and on.
One of the most bizarre apps we’ve covered is Sexy Alphabet … targeting individuals who get pleasure from hearing the alphabet recited by a sexual way. Uh hello CRACK HEAD … we don’t give a shiat who’s saying them … the ABC’s are NOT SEXY!
And surprise surprise … from the same developer of Sexy Alphabet (dude call himself “theM”), comes these two latest classics:
Angry Kittens Attack and Crazy Puppy Massacre
I know this is getting old and tired … but as Apple likes to say …
Want To Kill Kittens And Puppies?
There’s An App For That!
Yeah sicko … welcome to the App Store Asylum. No need to push and shove – there’s plenty of sick and mentally unstable material for everyone. Even those who get off killing kitties and puppies … ha! ha! ha! … APPLE is so brilliantly EVIL!
So there is this whole sub-category of KRAPPS that supposedly measure and detect things … Meter and Radar apps. Like the Douchemeter and Hot Radar apps we previously wrote about. Also stuff like … Hot Chick Meter … Ghost Radar … Love Meter … Pirate Radar … or Cool Meter. Not the most brilliant apps … certainly a novelty and good for about 137 seconds of entertainment.
But in these apps’ defense, they don’t claim to be the second coming of Koi Pond (uh, which is another subject … why is Koi Pond so freaking popular). These apps are pretty whack … but they know it … and don’t pretend to be as important as that Pope2You app (hey, it’s the Pope … that’s gotta be an important app … geez).
Well we came across a Meter app that is breaking the mold of this KRAPPS sub-category. We were actually quite floored at the research involved in producing such an application … it must have took years or clinical trials and various research methodologies to produce this next app … Sexy Meter Pro.
This is not your basic novelty Meter app. With Sexy Meter Pro, you can scientifically determine is your subject is REALLY sexy or not. And since this sexiness is determined scientifically … well then, there you have it … it’s TRUE. We at KRAPPS are simpletons … we don’t understand all this sexy science mumbo jumbo. So rather making a feeble attempt at describing the app and it’s technology … just read the Sexy Meter Pro description (pardon the English as a second language bit):
You see! We told you so! … “the true sexy meter … analyzing her photo … doesn’t generate random samples … score based on skin color, lip shape, eye contact … advanced algorithms will not disappoint you” … Heck, just look at the results screenshot below – the subject scored 82.3 points – HELLO! – 82.3 points! – Sexy Meter Pro nailed it!
Oh and trust us, developer Chen Li is NOT kidding about his instrument – he truly believes and knows that Sexy Meter Pro provides valid scientific results (just like OJ knows he didn’t kill his wife – LOL) … heck, dude is working on even better algorithms for his next update. Freaking genius!
But hey … not all devs can be such mensas. So memo to devs – Never Use The Words SEXY and ALGORITHM Together In An App Description … this science is way beyond your comprehension. Unless of course you are kidding – but you’re not – but we think you are - but your not – you are? – not! ARGH!! … sex and science, what a bunch of KRAPPS … not?
With over 40,000 iPhone apps available for sale, getting “noticed” is a huge challenge for developers. So besides releasing a quality app, marketing plays a key role in the success of that application. We’ve seen some pretty unique and interesting promotional efforts by developers attempting to get noticed.
Then we have Poop The World. Clever (aka whack-jobs) folks behind this dookie diary app. First they have their own line of branded toilet paper for promotional campaigns. Then they created a series of really bizarre promotional videos. The one below is an absolute riot. An imported takeoff from Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video … it contains dancing zombies, hysterical subtitles, Snuggie references and other madness. Make sure you watch it a few times and read those subtitles – freaking insane!