The Plus One app is a free calculator which does one thing … it adds the number one over and over again. We wanted to hate it … rip it … and classify it as one of those stupid limited functionality apps. We tried our best to blow this piece of krapp up. But we couldn’t – this little Plus One bastard of an app kept making us pee our pants in hysterics.
Developer Taber Buhl did a bang up job with Plus One. … his app is completely idiotic, yet reading Plus One’s description below – it’s comedic brilliance. So brilliant in fact that we now proudly display Plus One on our own personal iPhones.
(in efforts to save bandwidth – after all, we are paying for it – minor edits have been made)
I’d like to introduce to you a revolutionary app now available for your iPhone. Plus One is an exciting new calculator app that lets you add the number 1 as many times as you want.
Now I know what you’re saying: "Oh great, another bloated calculator app with all kinds of scientific doohickeys and whoseymawhatsits crammed onto the screen that I’ll never even use, because all I want to do is add 1 over and over." … WRONG! … For the first time ever, exclusive to the iPhone, there is a calculator designed to add the number 1. Plus One was built from the ground up with one specific goal in mind … to provide you with a smooth, enjoyable experience of adding the number 1 for as long as you see fit. You can add 1 to itself once, twice, or even several times all together. Why not 100 times in a row? Why not 1,000? That’s right, using your iPhone you now have the power to add the number 1 as long as you want, with nothing to hold you back.
Want to divide 200 by 4? Need to solve for x y or z, find the surface area of an octagon stacked on top of an isosceles triangle, or some other zany kind of math problem? Want to subtract? No sir (or ma’am), Plus One is NOT for you!
What’s the best part of Plus One? Well it isn’t its raw ability to increment the number 1.
No – it’s that YOU decide when and where to carry out your adding!
> Add the number 1 in the privacy of your own home or on the go. Grocery shopping with
your Mom and she needs 3 pears? Add 1 three times. Problem solved.
> On the beach getting a tan with nothing better to do and don’t want to nap because you
recently chugged an energy drink? Add 1 to itself repeatedly while soaking up rays.
How you choose to use Plus One is entirely up to you… as long as you use it to add the number 1! The only limit is your willingness and steadfastness to incrementing.
Ask yourself "How long can I add the number 1?" Go ahead, I’ll wait… You don’t know, do you? Well there is only one way to find out … download Plus One today and start adding the number 1 instantly! Never has there been a better time to add the number 1 than right now.
(update 12:15 p.m. PST: porn is a very subjective term. one’s artistic and tasteful nude is another’s filth. while Apple is not 100% clear on their nudity policy, they are adamant about a porn free App Store. we added an additional image at the end of this article from theXchange app which should clearly convey pornography … while the image is censored, the blackout area contains male genitalia … couple that with the image’s “Hot Wanted” statement … it’s clear, Apple is certainly not achieving their goal.)
As a preface to this article, we would like to remind you of Apple spokesman Tom Neumayer’s, profound statement in response to nude photos found in the Hottest Girls app:
“Apple will not distribute applications that contain
inappropriate content, such as pornography”
Fair enough Tom … thank you for making that perfectly clear. So what happens just a few days later … BeautyMeter and its infamous 15-year-old topless girl makes headlines. Hmmm, so much for Tom’s clarity.
Now flash forward to today … July 30 … Tom – there you go again, shittin’ us with your Apple will not distribute blah, blah, blah crap … nah, these are totally appropriate:
Welcome to theXchange … where user generated nudity, pornography, explicit language and anything else you can think of as sexually inappropriate content, is King!
So what is this place that resembles the movie Caligula? Well theXchange was released by Jim Young as a virtual nightclub. People enter the club … chat with others, then attempt to earn and spend virtual coins to buy drinks or photos of other club members (gee, wonder what kind of pictures are exchanged in theXchange … puppy dogs and lollipops of course … but at least their over 15 years of age).
Oh and of course, the “House Rules” … NO NUDE PHOTOS ALLOWED. Thanks for making that crystal clear Jim … man, you are just as money as Tim from Apple.
But here’s the best part … theXchange launched July 1 … same day the BeautyMeter app was yanked from the App Store due to its user generated nude photos. You would think that a similar user generated content-based app born July 1 (BeautyMeter D-Day) would know better and make an extra effort to police its uploads … but no … theXchange didn’t learn squat. But Jim, don’t feel bad … Apple also flunked that course – however to Apple’s credit, they make a helluv a lot more money than you and can afford the “F”.
[thanks to our boy @ungeheier for the tip]
Today we’d like to share a few of the more practical items available in the App Store. We figure with over 65,000 applications to choose from, a little help would be appreciated.
Ok … now that we’re alone, let’s talk girl stuff – your boobs. Have you ever been walking around or doing whatever, look down at your chest and suddenly realize … “hmm, I forgot my boob size”. Even worse … that dreaded “what’s my cup size?” feeling. Yeah, it’s horrible and something that should not be taken lightly. Well ladies, you’re in luck! You can now have the “What’s My Boob And Cup Size” utility always just a touch away with the BraSzCalc Bra And Cup Size Calculator app.
Now we get it … breast size can change over time: aging, pregnancy, augmentation, etc. And of course those overseas bra purchases are a major pain in the ass. So you see, this BraSzCalc really does come in handy … do some Overbust, mix in a little Underbust … and boom – never forget your bra and cup size again. Actually it would be even cooler if you could also use the app as a dedicated breast tape measure … hmmm.
Guys … did you put the flippin’ seat down? Good … sucks to get a cold wet ass when you’re simply trying to tinkle – GEEZ!
Now our next app is handy for both sexes. Picture this scenario … you’re at a gas station filling up your car. Suddenly you break out into a cold sweat panic … disturbing thoughts keep racing through your head … “am I a man or a woman?” You know what we’re talking about … we’ve all been there … nothing to be ashamed of. Because frankly, sometimes it’s hard to remember your sex. But no fear … simply download the What’s Your Real Gender app, answer a few questions … and voila, your gender is revealed (although judging by the user comments, this app might have a few bugs). Now we guess you could just as easily look down between your legs … but really, who wants to drop trow in the middle of a busy gas station. Nah, keep your underwear in place – use your iPhone.
So let’s say you’re not exactly thrilled with the results from the What’s Your Real Gender app … what’s a “girl” or “guy” to do? Just whip out that iPhone and install the handy dandy Gender Changer app. Granted, it won’t swap out your private parts … but at $1.99, Gender Changer is a hellluv a lot cheaper than a sex change operation and at least you’re one step closer to becoming the opposite sex. Or do you think Gender Changer is garbage based on the fact that close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and slow dancing?
In conclusion, we sincerely hope these apps will add value to your life and clear up any current or future confusion. Huh?
See all those proof points … iPhones rule, other Smartphones drool.
So like today – once again, we are amazed. Just when we thought the iPhone couldn’t get any cooler than with yesterday’s Strip Club auto-locate app … BAM! … it does. Two words:
WET … T-SHIRT.
Ok, … now close your eyes – pinch yourself real hard – and open your eyes. Look, you’re not dreaming and we’re not kidding … it’s for real … it’s the iWet T-Shirts app (appropriately released by iWet Media, Inc.).
So with iWet T-Shirts … it’s just you, a hose and all of your wildest drenched dreams. Choose one of four lovely ladies and start spraying away with your adult water gun. Now be careful, don’t get all sloppy silly with your soaking … if your water pressure or aim is off, you will not be rewarded with that see through dripping delight.
iWet Media is already planning future updates which will include such treats as Beautiful Brunettes, Girls Next Door and Babes In Thongs. Oh, and don’t worry – we read your mind … we already emailed iWet with suggestions for future apps … iMud, iJello and iHot Oil Wrestling.
Yeah you dirty bastard … how cool is your iPhone now?!?
So these locator apps are pretty cool. You know – the ones where you push the “location” button and the iPhone does its geolocation ninja thing to pinpoint your current location … then the app spits out all the related stuff nearby. Certainly can come in handy … find the nearest Starbucks, McDonald’s, gas station or whatever (although you could just as easily go outside, take a look around and find a Bux or Mickey D’s … they are freaking everywhere). They have locator apps for just about everything … banks, post offices, pizza joints, donut shops, car dealerships, apartments … heck, even marijuana … and as featured here on KRAPPS … Find A Gynecologist <—WTH.
Unfortunately, the App Store is not perfect … it’s sorely missing a locator app which we feel is imperative to the continued success of the iPhone. Thinking about this missing app, we are overcome with feelings of sadness and begin to weep. We need this app to complete us … we need a Strip Club locator app!
But a small, two person independent game development company has decided to take a walk on the wild side and turn our frown upside down. Thank you JT Harkey and Julie Leiby of Happy Cow Games for completing us … thank you for the Gentleman’s Club Finder app.
Consider Gentleman’s Club Finder your Guardian Angel … be gone those feelings of desperation – you’ll always know where to find that next lap dance or $100 bottle of Andre Cold Duck Champagne. Oh and this app is so awesome … do that whole touch geolocation ninja thing and not only does Gentleman’s Club Finder spew out the nearest nudie bars, but it also gives detailed driving directions, one-touch call functionality and reviews of each club … flippin’ golden!
Editor’s Note: BUYER BEWARE! During our extensive review of the Gentleman’s Club Finder app, we came across a bug. Seems JT and Julie tapped into the wrong national strip joint database. Per the app’s search results, we visited the Las Vegas-based Red Rooster (above left image, first entry) in hopes of discovering fresh and titillating exotic dancers. But what we found left us confused, frightened and scared for life!
July 20: The Yin And Yang Of iPhone Sex Apps – when opposite forces collide
July 21: More Rejections From Apple – I Can Has Cheezburger – idiotic is a good adjective for this decision
July 22: Keg Stand Brilliance And iPhone Apps – the creativity of these apps are amazing
July 23: The Evolution Of Anal Volcano Apps – see what’s become of fart apps
July 24: Analyze Your Sex Life With Intimacy Tracker – is the iPhone jacking up our life?
July 25: Chess Wars For iPhone Is Solid anti-KRAPPS – former Digg lead architect’s, Joe Stump, app
Released about two weeks ago, Chess Wars [iTunes] by Blunder Move incorporates Facebook Connect functionality to allow you to challenge opponents and make your moves all from the comfort of your iPhone or iPod Touch. The app’s ultra-clean interface will not get in the way while you wield chess mastery over your friendly foes. The first order of business, of course, is to find someone to play against. This person will need to be your friend on Facebook and will also need to have the Chess Wars app (the developer’s website mentions that a web client is planned for the future). Once identified as meeting these criteria, you are able to issue a challenge and the game is underway. For your friends who do not yet have the app, you can send them an invitation, which presumably offers them a link to quickly locate the application in the App Store.
The game board is very well represented, with easily identifiable pieces and, for chess novices, the legal moves highlighted when a piece is selected. An in-game chat offers the ability to taunt (or praise, if you so choose) your opponent with witty banter. The chat messages and the move notifications can also be sent to the Facebook account (this is turned on by default). The previous moves registered in the game are always available for careful review, quiet contemplation and perhaps a bit of uninhibited consternation.
Since the game’s success is dependent on widespread adoption, it has been priced accordingly at the minimum 99 cents. Sure, there are other chess apps in the App Store which feature an AI to play against. This app is clearly positioned as the choice for playing against your Facebook friends and it’s also 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified!
The game currently has a few issues for which the developer has already submitted an update. These are mostly minor annoyances and do not detract from gameplay.