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Quick KRAPPS vol 4

You a playa? Come on dog, admit it! You got that sexy fly iPhone and now you’re the mac daddy … the envy of your peeps. Cuz that’s how playas roll … with their flamin’ fresh iPhones. But playa … you need more game … iPhone ain’t enough. You need some KRAPPS to polish that hustlin’ style you got. So pay attention playa … presenting Quick KRAPPS volume 4 – The “BLING” Edition.

First off, playa needs to trick out that blah out-of-the-box iPhone. Make it big with the Bling app. With Bling, playa can create custom wallpaper from 15 Bling images. BOOYAH! And get with this … Bling is also a chat application. Tap the bling button and you’ll enter the “Shout Room” where you’ll be able to mix it with other playas just like yourself.

   

But bling wallpaper alone is still whack. Every playa needs some ice … so here comes the iJewel app to the party. Damn playa, look at that iJewel … NICE ROCK! But word of advice – do not follow the developer’s instructions: “… give your loved one or even yourself a royal gift … you will score big points with the iJewel”. Don’t do it playa … the hunnies will not like!

Next playa needs a stylin clock. As luck would have it, two choices … the iBling and the PhatWatch apps. Insane! PhatWatch describes itself as an “iced-up platinum watch like all the celebrities and sports figures wear” … yeah baby! But get this, iBling has a section which contains 100 pickup lines. Do it playa … the ladies will like!

   

Playa is just about all pimped out … only one item remains … RIMS! You know it … every playa needs some tight rims and the Spinnaz app will just kill it.

So playa – how you like it now? With all these KRAPPS – you ready to mac shawty (no Apple dork, this mac is not an os term). Lovin’ that iPhone now playa … damn, it’s hot!

Battle Of The Boobs

 Title: Wobble & iJiggles
Category: Entertainment

update:  all download codes have been claimed – thank you

<yawn> Farts continue to make headlines in iPhone World. This time it’s a lawsuit –
Air-o-Matic is seeking $50,000 in damages from the former #1 app, iFart Mobile. </yawn> Rather than bore you with details (we’ll let TUAW or CNN do that – yeah, CNN, big news you know!), we’ll focus on real entertainment … BOOBIE-STYLE.

So there’s trouble in Boobieland … mudslinging, trash talking, accusations flying. It’s Boob vs Boob … specifically Wobble vs iJiggles in some hysterical back-and-forth bantering. We previously covered both Wobble and iJiggles … but this time we present the “Battle Of The Boobs”. And since we live in a glass house – no judgments will be made – no stones will be thrown – no right, no wrong – no “if it doesn’t fit, you must acquit”. Just the facts – you determine the verdict.

Wobble vs iJiggles – the “Just The Facts” edition 

Jan 15: iJiggles hits the App Store
Jan 17: Wobble hits the App Store

Jan 18: Wobble (jonau65) leaves the following comment on eugene4023’s iJiggles YouTube video:

Jan 30: Wobble changes name to Wobble-3D-Jiggles
Jan 30: iJiggles changes name to iJiggles-3D-Wobble (their response below)

Jan 31: Wobble-3D-Jiggles changes name back to Wobble

Jan 31: Wobble emails iJiggles the following cease and desist request:

Remove Wobble from the “name” you are using for your application. You are infringing our trademark.
It would seem by your statement that “You have nothing to lose” that you are attempting to benefit from our large sales and marketing effort. Might I suggest that you do have something to lose?
As your name stands you are deliberately using our name to try to increase sales of your own and you will be liable for damages, to minimize such damage you must CEASE AND DESIST using the Wobble name immediately.
My IP lawyers will be writing to Apple, in addition please supply an address for service for your company to the email address above.

Jan 31: iJiggles emails Wobble the following response:

1. It is doubtful that you have already applied and received a Trademark for the name Wobble. Also, Wobble is a generic term and is probably not trademarkable. If I am wrong, send me a trademark number or an application number and I will be happy to change it.

2. At the time of the name change, your app is called “Wobble-3D-Jiggle” and not “Wobble”. Quite a bit different

3. By using the term “jiggle”, you are obviously attempting to benefit from our large sales and marketing effort.

4. I’ll leave it up to Apple to decide. Get my address from them.
Have a good day.

Jan 31: Wobble emails iJiggles the following response:

1. Have it your way.
2. If I was using the term iJiggle rather than just plain jiggle it might explain trying to confuse the market, we were merely experimenting with a longer name to catch the eye more in the appstore.
3. Bad experiment, for a number of reasons – it exposed us to other developers moving on the name “wobble” which is precisely what you have done changing your name – I wonder who would be tempted to take your “iJiggle” name? Maybe some reader of your blog???
4. OK, will do.
And yep, I feel like a dick for even bothering to engage with you, it’s not like your app is competitive really… It looks like a software guy did the graphics and it works like a graphics guy did the software. Did the UI guy come up with your company name?? 🙂

EDITORS NOTE – for clarification, the email exchanges were posted on the iJiggles blog, thus the following response from Wobble

Feb 1: Wobble emails iJiggles the following:

Heh, I don’t believe that you just published a comment from me that:
a. Points out the shortcomings of your application
b. Points out to anybody reading that there exists an opportunity to take your application name! I simply meant that as a warning to you against the problem with changing your software name… hence the reason I changed ours back! (oh and sales went down when I mentioned Jiggle)!
But I guess you are just a bit too slow to pick that up, and you insist on republishing my PM’s to your imaginary readers???
Let’s see if you are foolish enough to publish this too:
Dear search engine and readers of this blog, please index this link: Wobble is the best boob jiggling software available for the iPhone – follow this link to buy WOBBLE http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewSoftware?id=301166113

Or maybe you’ll realise that you are giving me the opportunity to publish stuff on YOUR blog and take all of it down!! 😀 I even took the time to format your link. You are welcome.

Currently:
Wobble changes name to Wobble Her Bits 3D and again to Wobble-Bikini-Fun
iJiggles changes name to iJiggles Your Mom

And since Wobble is the #6 paid app and iJiggles is the #1 free app … well I guess all this “foreplay” has a happy ending. Now isn’t that nice!

Free iJiggles and Wobble to KRAPPS viewers!
Originally, iJiggles was positioned as a limited time free app. However, since iJiggles has exploded to the #1 free app position, the developer has decided to forego a price increase, generate revenue with ads and leave iJiggles free indefinitely. YAHOO – download iJiggles!

Wobble was kind enough to provide codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download Wobble for FREE. Simply tweet the following message on Twitter and we’ll direct message you the download code while supplies last:

got iPhone? visit & follow @KRAPPS for giveaways & hilarious reviews of the krappiest of apps http://KRAPPS.com

Blind Ump

Title: Strikeout and Indicator
Category: Sports

Watch these two 8-second clips real quick:

Now ask yourself … why in the world would a baseball umpire use their $200+ iPhone as a ball/strike indicator? Why in the world would an app developer think this is a good idea?

Being a plate ump is brutal. You get heckled: “flip over the plate and read the directions”,  “wake up, you’re missing a great game”, “you  couldn’t call a cab”, etc. … and getting nailed by a rock hard baseball traveling in excess of  100mph in the nuts, face, shoulder, chest, shin, foot, etc. is not exactly pleasant. Yeah they wear padding, still hurts like a mother! And why add insult to injury, shattering your sexy cool iPhone?

But for some reason, two genius developers thought they could change America’s Favorite Pastime by releasing the Strikeout and Indicator app. Uhh, bad idea! Memo to umps, leave the iPhone in the car and keep using your $9 plastic indicator … however, equating the lack of App Store user reviews (one between the two apps) to low/no sales … well … umps may be blind, but they aren’t stupid.

A Look At Ralph

all iVomit Mobile download codes have been claimed – thank you

Sorry folks … we have to go there. We’ve been trying to avoid this topic. It’s been keeping us up at night. We are not thrilled about it. But in the end, a decision was made … we cover all KRAPPS … so we have to go there … our apologies in advance.

iPhone farts have been well documented. There are now well over 60 fart apps and with new varieties continuing to appear, I guess a lot of KRAPPS should be thankful and buy these farts a beer. After all, farts were the trendsetter, making it possible for other KRAPPS to weasel their way into the App Store.

So one good bodily noise (fart) app deserves another … but this time, let’s kick it up a notch and get even more disgusting, crude and vulgar … let’s give that measly rated PG-13 fart app some steroids and introduce a rated R super app … VOMIT!

Well gosh darn fiddlesticks … iPhone vomit hasn’t really caught on. While 60+ fart apps stink up the App Store, vomit lovers have only 5 ½ (more on that number later) dedicated apps to choose from. So let’s take a look at this group of class acts or as we like to call it,
A Look At Ralph …

First up is iVomit from noidentity. It’s a clever little app … simply drag food into the subject’s mouth – over and over again – until he eventually blows chunks all over your iPhone’s screen. Messy screen? No worries – just clean it up by swiping your finger across the chunder. A big thank you to the developers at noidentity … your contribution to the App Store is simply genius. You complete me!

     

Next we have the sole free vomit app available, Pukey Pete. Clever name – descriptive icon  – average execution … but hey, you can’t argue with the price. Basically you just touch the screen and watch/listen to Pete puke into a toilet. Oh yeah, it counts how many times Pete pukes … NICE! The real beauty is how the app’s description reads (Mr. Vomit App Description Writer – we salute you)

Moving along we fine iPuke … you knew there had to be one … sadly still no iBarf, iHurl, or iHeave. iPuke’s marketing position is cute puke … an adorable blue cartoon ball that tosses its cookies when you touch it. OMG, sooo CUTE!

Ok, this is where it get’s tricky – pay close attention. Remember we said there are 5 ½ vomit apps? Well developer Khalid Shaikh has decided to corner the barf market by releasing 2 vomit apps … or is that 1 ½. Either way, that’s solid upchuck market share. iVomiting and iBurps are Khalid’s creations. I think Khalid might have been three sheets to the wind when creating these apps. First sign of being drunk – each app is priced at $4.99. Second sign of being drunk – iBurps’ description reads like a belching app and even contains the word “iVomit”. Check it out below – we’re sober and still confused – 5 ½ vomit apps or 6?

And finally, we saved the best for last. The original and king of vomit KRAPPS, presenting … iVomit Mobile. Founded on Jan. 7, 2009, iVomit Mobile was the first barf app to grace the iPhone and has become the #1 best-selling vomit app. OUTSTANDING! And who can dispute iVomit Mobile’s fame? With 20 different selections … including classics like “Heave & Hurl”, “Corn Chowder”, “Porcelain Puke” and “Layered Barfcake”… iVomit Mobile presents the most complete vomit soundtrack available to consumers. But the real brilliance of iVomit Mobile is its artistic presentation … this is a visual thing, so just enjoy the concluding screenshots below …

     

Free iVomit Mobile to KRAPPS viewers!
Happy – Happy … Joy – Joy … we’re giving away the King Of Vomit thanks to iVomit Mobile’s developer, Todd, at Magnificent Library. Just leave a comment below and we’ll email the code which will allow you to download iVomit Mobile for FREE. US iTunes store only. Good while supplies last.

iBarf

This one is right up our alley … Barf Bag iPhone Holder … GENIUS! … check out the complete story at Engadget. Hope they replace those things for the next flight in case of a real iBarf emergency – YUCK!

Recap: Week Of Feb 9

Obviously there are a lot of KRAPPS in the App Store keeping us busy. So naturally, a ton of articles here at KRAPPS. Hard to keep pace with this information highway? We hear ya! For your convenience, quick links to the previous week’s articles. Click here for week of Feb 2 recap.

Feb 9: Simply Disturbing – bouncing Oprah and Steve Jobs heads are cool
Feb 9: BurnBall Contest Results – see all the winning images, first place is a classic
Feb 10: I Want It All – the swiss army knife of bodily function sounds app
Feb 11: Good App Gone Bad – when geeks try marketing
Feb 11: Videos We Digg – a couple of not to be missed videos, hysterical
Feb 12: Section 3.3.12 – developers know this immoral code, do you?
Feb 13: Quick KRAPPS volume 3 – some really freaky and disturbing apps

Quick KRAPPS vol 3

Presenting another edition of Quick KRAPPS. Click here for vol 1 … Click here for vol 2

all download codes have been claimed – thank you

Most are aware of gross sound effect KRAPPS like farts, grunts, vomit and burbs. But only the true KRAPPS aficionados know that these bodily function apps are just the tip of the KRAPPS iceberg. For example, what about all those straight up weird, bizarre, freak and creepy apps? They need some love too …

Remember those freak looking rubber martians? You would squeeze them and their eyes, nose and ears would pop out? Yeah, freaking weird and a disturbing visual. Well thanks to Keyvisuals and their Martian Madness app, you now have 24/7 access to your very own psycho martian. Just touch the screen and watch the sucker’s head explode. Keyvisuals claims Martian Madness is a stress reliever … KRAPPS claims Keyvisuals is just as freaky as their Martian Madness app.

    

Moving on … how about those Saw movies? You know, the horror flicks where dude saws off his own body part in order to live. Freaking disturbing, but certainly has a place in this world as Saw V (yeah, there are four other “hack your own limb off” episodes) grossed over $62.8 million, making it the top-grossing horror franchise of all time. So why not a place on the iPhone, thought the developers at Reandevou Software. Yeah, why not? Let’s throw a sound activated, mouth moving Jig Saw puppet (character from Saw) on people’s iPhones … it’ll be awesome to scare the shit out of these folks. Thanks Reandevou, now we can krap our pants anytime. The heck with those urine assistance apps we previously wrote about … throw out the raspy prune juice … get the Jig Saw Puppet krap assistance app – your bowels will thank you for it.

More freaky KRAPPS? You got it … presenting the iVoodoo app from the creepy folks over at oeFun Inc. Simple concept … import someone’s image from the camera roll into iVoodoo and go off on sticking this prick with a pin. Take a read of iVoodoo’s description:

iVoodoo is the answer to your magical and spiritual needs. In today’s society it can be difficult to whip out a voodoo doll and stick it full of pins … That’s where iVoodoo comes in. Just launch the app and you’ll be manifesting destinies in no time at all.

Uhhh, yeah … ok … WEEEEEEIRD! But actually it’s a very well developed app: customize 5 dolls, 7 different pins, a pin management system and more. Which basically means somebody takes this voodoo stuff very seriously …. Uhhh, yeah – ok – WEEEEEEIRD!

And on our final freaky note, we’ll leave you with Crazy Metal Head from eZone.com. Positioned as your personal head banging buddy … just touch the screen and crazy metal will begin to bang his head. eZone states you can bring crazy metal to concerts or just talk to him. Huh? Ok – for sure – I want to party with this guy!

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