Per Apple’s new guidelines, applications are allowed to contain risqué images if the app is from “a well-known company with previously published material available broadly in a well-accepted format” … hence the reason why Playboy, Maxim and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit remain for sale in the App Store, but over 5,000 apps from lesser-known companies were labeled overtly sexual and removed from sale.
With two million members and supporters, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is the largest animal rights group in the world. You would think PETA falls into Apple’s “well-known” category … but apparently this is not the case.
Part of PETA’s marketing strategy is to leverage celebrity support. Sarah Jessica Parker, Pamela Anderson and Paul McCartney back PETA, as well as many supermodels. One of PETA’s signature media campaigns are public service announcements featuring nude celebrities. Khloe Kardashian, Eva Mendes and Sophie Monk have all gone naked for PETA campaigns.
So when PETA submitted their Be Nice To Bunnies (BNB) iPhone application to Apple for approval, it was only natural that the app would contain an au naturel picture of Stephanie Pratt, star of the MTV hit series The Hills, holding a cute bunny.
But as we mentioned, PETA did not measure up in the “well-known” category to the likes of Playboy, Sports Illustrated or Victoria’s Secret. Apple informed PETA that Pratt’s picture was overtly sexual and could not be included in the BNB app … either PETA replace Pratt’s nude image or Apple would not approve the app.
So PETA went back to the drawing board (or perhaps Photoshop) and quickly put some clothes on Pratt. This dressed-up version made Apple comfortable and very happy … BNB has been approved and it now for sale in the App Store.
Oh … and what exactly is the Be Nice To Bunnies app? It’s a searchable database which informs users which products at a store are cruelty-free. The database contains a wide range of cruelty-free items … everything from makeup, hair products and household cleaners to dog treats. If you’re into supporting cruelty-free companies … be sure to use the Be Nice To Bunnies [iTunes $1.99] app for all your shopping needs.
Since the story has hit mainstream media, we’re assuming most of you have heard about the lost iPhone 4G saga. If not, it goes something like this … drunk Apple employee loses iPhone 4G prototype in a bar … dude finds the lost iPhone, is unsuccessful in his attempts to return it and sells the iPhone to Gizmodo for $5,000 … Gizmodo publishes the exclusive story and pictures … Apple gets pissed and requests Gizmodo return the iPhone … Gizmodo returns it … police raid Gizmodo editor Jason Chen’s home and seize computers as part of an investigation into the leak of the prototype iPhone.
For more details, check out Wired’s continuing coverage of the story. Or if you would like Apple-biased viewpoints, read the endless articles from not negative and insightful Apple spokesperson John Gruber.
The best part of the lost iPhone 4G saga are the numerous hilarious commentaries spreading around the Internet. From flowcharts to videos and even national television … there are many brilliant comedic interpretations of the event. Below we list our favorites with Jon Stewart calling Apple “appholes” our favorite of the bunch. Enjoy!
Jon Stewart Rips Apple A New Apphole
|The Daily Show With Jon Stewart||Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c|
Steve Jobs Responds To Gizmodo
The Gizmodo iPhone Saga
Hitler Reacts To The iPhone 4G Leak
Gizmodo “Leaks” Another Prized Apple Product
If you’ve been paying attention to the whacky applications Apple’s been approving, it should come as no surprise the number of urination apps available for sale. Yes, urination apps … apps that simulate male peeing (sorry, no female pee apps yet … all iPhone urination is penis driven at this point). We’ve covered a few ourselves … iPeePee and Drunk Sniper. Positioned as iPhone videogames, the objective of all these apps are pretty much the same … hold the iPhone in your crotch area (yes, like a penis) and aim the urine flow into the toilet by swaying your hips from side-to-side. Virtual peeing with your iPhone … life doesn’t get any better than this.
Rather than publishing yet another boring “piss in a toilet” app, the creative folks at GnaTech decided to think outside the
box bathroom … and inside a car. Huh? What? … two words … “road”, “trip” … the iPeeInABottle app.
Fitting the mentality of this app (cheap shot alert), iPeeInABottle takes place inside what appears to be a late 70s American muscle car … Camaro, Mustang or Trans Am (take your pick). Leveraging a point of view shot, iPeeInABottle presents the character behind the wheel of a moving vehicle, with their arm extended and holding a bottle. The character is pissing … his arm is moving … and it’s up to the player to aim the urine into the bottle and avoid pissing all over the car’s interior. Two levels of difficulty are available in iPeeInABottle … Sissy Man and Real Man (once again fitting the mentality of this app).
The duration of each game is similar to that of a race horse pissing … about 2 minutes of non-stop free flow. If the player is able to fill the bottle with urine in the allotted time … they win. However if the bottle remains half empty due to a piss poor performance … they lose.
One thing to note … peeing in a bottle while driving a car in real life sucks. While this may seem obvious, there are still plenty of dumbshits who participate in this practice. As such and similar to Oprah’s “No Phone Zone” campaign to stop texting and driving … KRAPPS is moving forward with the “Hold It” crusade to stop the deadly obsession of taking a leak while operating a moving vehicle. HA!
Are you familiar with the Bud Light beer ads – Real Men of Genius? If not (da horror), you should be … it’s the best advertising campaign EVER! Funny, witty, sarcastic and amusing … Real Men of Genius ads are pure pant pissing brilliance!
Real Men of Genius is a series of Bud Light radio advertisements which began in 1999. The campaign originally was called Real American Heroes, but the name was changed after the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. Hundreds of installments have been produced for radio … some of which were adapted for television beginning in 2003.
Each ad is a hysterical sarcastic glorification of an unsung hero – the real man of genius …
Mr. Driving Range Ball Pickerupper
Mr. Jelly Donut Filler
Mr. Giant Foam Finger Maker
Mr. Mail Order Bride Orderer
To experience the awesomeness of Real Men of Genius, you can cruise to some infested BitTorrent file sharing network, search YouTube or check out any of the numerous fanboy created websites. Not exactly convenient, but your Real Men of Genius choices are limited … that is, until now … Apple has approved both the Bud Light Real American Heroes [iTunes] and Bud Light Real Men Of Genius [iTunes] iPhone apps. Oh and get this … both apps are FREE!
Since the saying goes … “nothing in life is free” … we typically don’t expect much from free apps. Boy were we surprised with these two … impeccable sound quality, straightforward UI and no advertisements. The Real American Heroes app contains 27 radio spots, while the Real Men Of Genius app comes in at a whopping 93 selections … wow … and don’t forget, both apps are FREE!
5-5-50 Inc. did a solid job developing the two apps and offering them for FREE! While we’re not sure if they have some kind of arrangement with Anheuser-Busch … or if any copyright issues exist … all we can say is hurry up and download both the Real American Heroes [iTunes] and Real Men Of Genius [iTunes] apps for FREE!
Today we salute you Mr. Real Men Of Genius iPhone App Developer … without you we wouldn’t be hearing the goodness of the best radio commercials ever on our revolutionary iPhone.
Apparently Apple [allegedly] is too preoccupied in kicking down the door and searching Gizmodo editor Jason Chen’s home or Steve Jobs is reverting back to his Oregon ways of using LSD and marijuana. These are the only two sound explanations we could fathom when we saw the new iPhone game … Puff Puff Pass by Hood Apps.
As noted in the app’s description above, Puff Puff Pass is a smoking game. Users control the game’s characters to take a puff of a cigarette, cigar or tobacco pipe and then pass it on to the next participant in the smoke session. Puff Puff Pass is cleverly marketed as addictive … “almost addictive as smoking for real.”
Now before we proceed, understand that Apple CENSORS material in the App Store. We are not here to comment on this censorship, rather pose the question … why would the largest technological corporation in the world align themselves and promote the major single cause of cancer mortality in the United States … cigarette smoking. Since tobacco use is responsible for nearly 1 in 5 deaths in the United States … not exactly sure how approving Puff Puff Pass enhances Apple’s brand image.
But the Puff Puff Pass saga gets better. Anyone with half a clue in life should clearly realize that Puff Puff Pass is SCREAMING in drug use innuendo. Seems to us it would behoove Apple to think beyond Glee-watching, squeaky clean suburban Cupertino life. Phrases like “Iron Lung”, Smoke Session” and hell, even the app’s name itself, “Puff Puff Pass” are all terms glorifying drug use.
Iron Lung – someone who is able to take massive hits (and we’re not talking UFC).
Smoke Session – a social gathering where participants smoke weed, meth, etc.
And the best one yet … the freaking title itself! Definitions per Urban Dictionary …
Puff Puff Pass
1. The golden rule for pot smokers everywhere. It simply means to take two hits of the joint, bong, blunt, or bowl and then pass it to the next person.
2. A game in which everyone in a circle passes a spliff, bong or other smokeage. Everyone puts five on it. Each time you take a hit you say "puff puff pass." If you fail to say it, cough or pass out, you’re out of the rotation. The last person holding the smokeage keeps all the money.
Or better yet … maybe Apple should check out the free IMDb app they approved and realize that Puff Puff Pass, the movie, is about two hapless stoners who have grown tired rehab.
But hey, it’s Apple’s world and we just pay for it. However if Jobs is cool with apps that promote and glorify drug use … we’re sure many will literally play puff puff pass on Apple.
I grew up on Sonic the Hedgehog. It was one of the very first console games I ever played. (first videogame ever was SkiFree … couldn’t get past the damned yeti.) And let me tell you, I played the hell out of every single Sonic game (up until they started sucking).
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was by and far my favorite. It introduced the ability to rev up and roll fast as hell … which I love. So, as you can imagine, when Sonic the Hedgehog 2 [iTunes $5.99] was released by SEGA for the iPhone and iPod touch sometime last week, I bought it instantly.
Sonic 2 plays like a champ on iDevices. The emulator that SEGA made to allow this port is fantastic. I’ve never noticed any lag and it just feels like I’m playing it natively. It gives you a virtual d-pad and "A" button (only "A" because that’s all you need). In-between zones and levels, the buttons disappear to show you the title slide … which is a very nice feature that makes it feel more like a native game.
Plus Sonic 2 has an awesome savestate feature. This means that if you get interrupted by a call, you can just resume your game right where you were. Or even if you just close the game and come back to it later, you’ll be RIGHT where you left off … it’s awesome.
All-in-all, if you’ve ever played Sonic 2, you get the gist of this game. The gameplay transitions perfectly to a mobile device and how well they pulled this off just gets me even more psyched for the upcoming Sonic 4. (if you’re not aware, Sonic 4 will be a 2D sidescrolling, episodic Sonic game … brand new game, but it’s going back to its roots. It’ll be pretty sick.)
Running around at mega-speed and stomping enemies is just as fun as ever. Robotnik’s complex machinery still fails to kill you (which makes me wonder why the dude doesn’t just, like… make or purchase a firearm … that would be much more effective).
If you’ve ever played and enjoyed a Sonic game, you shouldn’t be thinking twice about giving this a purchase. If you’ve never played a Sonic game… what the hell is wrong with you? Well, you’ll never have a better opportunity to start. Sonic 2 is currently #53 in Overall Paid Apps … buy this game and help it climb a notch to #52 [iTunes $5.99].