From all of us here at KRAPPS, we wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Of course, no Christmas greeting would be complete without a Steve Jobs version of ElfYourself … and yes, there’s an app for that! Check out Steve making an elf out of himself in the Super Dance Elf Christmas iPhone app … quite disturbing if you ask us!
Apparently the folks at Hiccup, LLC have decided that 300,000+ iPhone applications available for download are enough. That’s why they decided to take their company in a different direction and develop apps for cats … yes … CATS. And if you think about it, the strategy sort of makes sense … over 300,000 applications available for humans – ZERO for cats … well that is, until now …
The free Game For Cats [iTunes] application is exactly what it sounds like … classic cat games pretty much every feline on the planet will enjoy … Chase the Mouse and Chase the Laser Pointer.
crazy cat-loving freaks cat aficionados, this universal application is best suited for the iPad … and damn, check out the app’s demo video, it totally works! (including the totally “I Don’t Give A Shit” dog)
And not only does it work,
crazy cat-loving freaks cat aficionados everywhere are downloading the thing and putting it to good use. Just check out all the user submitted videos on the app’s website … Japanese cats, Siberian cats, American cats … all thrashing and scratching up their owner’s iPads while playing Game For Cats.
Sort of like the cow milking game we featured … the faster you tickle the baby, the higher your score. Hmmm … Tickle The Baby iPhone app … cute or creepy?
And didn’t we read somewhere that excessive tickling is a form of torture. Hmmm … Tickle The Baby iPhone app … cute or creepy?
Every now and then, we think to ourselves … sure wish we could add a little Jewish to our life. But rather than hopping on a plane to Israel or New York City, we settle for matzo ball soup at our local kosher deli.
But good news … being deprived of our Hebrew yearnings is now a thing of the past! Got Jew? Check out the new Jew Booth iPhone app.
Per the app’s description, “Use Jew Booth to add some Jewish culture to your photos! Take a photo or pick one from your camera roll, then add Jewish items and Jewish bling!”
Like we did with Jewish President Obama …
And Jewish Justin Bieber …
Or the revolutionary Steve Jewish Jobs …
As a preemptive strike against potential Jew Booth critics (maybe it’s the really big add-on noses included in the app), the developer includes this statement … “The app is made for Jews by Jews! In no way is this app meant to discriminate against or demean anyone”. Well, that’s all good, however at least one Jew Booth user isn’t buying it (or actually they did buy it – cuz if they didn’t, they wouldn’t be allowed to leave a review … huh?) …
Yesterday we featured the controversial Jesus Dressup iPhone application by artist Normal Bob Smith. The app depicts Jesus hanging from the cross in his underwear and allows users to place silly outfits on Jesus like a basketball uniform or tutu.
Back in 2003, retailer Urban Outfitters stopped selling refrigerator-magnet sets of the same dress up concept due to a huge national controversy.
And now, Jesus Dress Up finds itself removed from sale once again. In less than 24 hours after launch, Jesus Dressup was pulled from the App Store. Considering many Christians would find Jesus Dressup offensive and insulting, it should be no surprise the app is no longer for sale.
But what is surprising are the details surrounding the removal of Jesus Dressup … specifically Apple did NOT remove the application. There was no public outcry … no activists … and no organizational efforts that led Apple to ban Jesus Dressup. Rather a fairly boring spat between the app’s owner, Normal Bob Smith, and its developer.
Smith writes on his blog …
Let there be no confusion. Apple did not pull the Jesus Dressup app. Christians did not get it removed. I had a gargantuan disagreement with the person who made the application for me and last night, in a heated phone conversation that ended with us hanging up on each other, the app yanked by us.
We contacted Smith to get further clarification and insight into the situation … he said, “It was a disagreement over control of the account and pay. Work had begun before anything was in writing. That was a mistake. Subsequently an agreement could not be reached between us, to put it mildly”.
We then asked if he had plans to re-launch Jesus Dressup if he could find a feasible business partner … to which Smith replied, “I have no idea at all if there’ll be another go at it. I’m very soured on the experience.”
There were a few more questions we had for Smith, but the bastard told us we had enough info and called us “nosey” … LOL
So there you have it … the controversial Jesus Dressup app was removed due to a rather “normal” disagreement. Who knows if Apple would have banned the app themselves if Smith didn’t remove it in the first place. But for now, as the saying goes … move along – nothing to see here.
It is no secret that Apple is a big FAIL when it comes to enforcing a consistent set of rules when approving iPhone applications for sale in its App Store. Many developers feel the app review and approval process is arbitrary and senseless. Hard to argue with these folks when you realize the examples below are actually quite common …
Apple bans the Me So Holy app which allows users to superimpose their faces on images of religious figures like Jesus, Mother Teresa and others. Apple rejected Me So Holy because, “applications must not contain any obscene, pornographic, offensive or defamatory content or materials of any kind.” Fair enough – yet somehow BibleThumper … a Christian-bashing app whose purpose is to show “just how ridiculous the Bible and Christianity is” …is considered non-offensive by Apple.
iSlam Muhammad was also pulled from the App Store due to images of the prophet Muhammad (prohibited by Islam) and highlighted disturbing passages from the Qu’ran. Fair enough – yet somehow QuranQuoter … the Muslim-bashing version of BibleThumper is all good with Apple.
And the beacon of consistent randomness at Apple continues to shine as yesterday JesusDressUp was approved …
Based on his website of the same name, the 99-cent Jesus Dressup iPhone app was released by artist Normal Bob Smith. The app depicts a crucified Jesus, hanging from the cross in his underwear … and lets users to dress Jesus in silly outfits like a red tutu or a Chicago Bulls basketball uniform.
Smith’s game is no stranger to controversy (he proudly displays nearly 500 pages of hate mails on his site). In 2003, he produced a Jesus Dress Up refrigerator-magnet set which was picked up by trendy retailer Urban Outfitters. After media spotlight and over 250,000 complaints, Urban Outfitters announced they would no longer carry the magnet set. Also as a result of this national controversy, Smith’s web-hosting company shut down the Jesus Dress Up website … which remained offline for several days until a new host was secured.
After major screw-ups like approving the Baby Shaker app, it’s curious that Apple would even go down the path of approving Jesus Dress Up and chancing the integrity of the Apple brand. But entering our third year of writing KRAPPS … guess we can’t say we’re surprised, but still wondering if Apple’s brilliant team of approvers will risk accepting Smith’s Jesus Dress Up counterpart … Dress Up Prophet Muhammad.
It never ceases to amaze us the shit Apple will approve. While they might come off as bad asses, trying to improve the quality of the App Store with statement like these …
We have over 250,000 apps in the App Store. We don’t need any more fart apps.
If your App looks like it was cobbled together in a few days, or you’re trying to get your ﬁrst practice App into the store to impress your friends, please brace yourself for rejection.
We have lots of serious developers who don’t want their quality Apps to be surrounded by amateur hour.
… Apple still has some serious issues saying no to “amateur hour” applications.
Take for example … Brain Analyzer. Bargain priced at $250, this application is wrong on so many levels.
With help from Google Translate (Engrish to English), it seems Brain Analyzer analyzes your brain (whoopee). But since the app is in “testing” … the developer is not quite sure if it will work. And Apple’s policy states, “Apps that are beta, demo, trial or test versions will be rejected.” Well, except for Brain Analyzer … Apple plays favorites with them.
"Don’t buy it” … ah yes, clever reverse psychology marketing term. Only to say, “you can buy it but we will not refund any money” … LMAO, WTF.
At $250, we’re not quite sure why Apple gifted us the privilege of purchasing this sack of suck … but at least we get a “thank you for your support” in advance.