Mensas At Meat Couch

Continuing our theme of “Brilliant Ideas” from yesterday’s article, we would like to share another mensa moment. We will not take credit for this one, as this idea is purely the genius efforts of the folks at Meat Couch Productions (yes, the link is safe to click … we are a PG-13 rated site … go elsewhere if you seek smut).

So pay attention … follow closely the thought process. Remember, this is a mensa moment – extra effort to comprehend is required.

danicapatrick In the Real World, sex sells:
Want to sell a hamburger … stick a bikini-clad, Bentley washing Paris Hilton in your commercial. Want to sell domain names … just feature Danica Patrick taking a shower. Want to sell a sports magazine … make a swimsuit issue.

In the iPhone App World, things are a little bit different, farts sell:
Want to become the #1 selling app … release iFart. Want to sell a Twitter app … make Tweetie the farting Twitter app. Want to sell a music app … make a farting piano like the Fart Keyboard app. Want to sell a children’s game … release the Simon Says Fart app. Want to build a community app … release a social media fart app like Rate A Fart.

Ok, to review … so far we have established Real World versus App World selling strategies. Now we must understand the difference between the two buying audiences.

The Real World audience are your non-geeks:
People who are clueless with terminology like url, SEO, cloud computing, etc. They can barely plug-in a usb device and call the Geek Squad to setup their home network.

geek The App World audience are your typical geeks:
The barely realize a world outside the Internet. They attend geekfests like SXSWi. They idolize people like Steve Jobs and Guy Kawasaki. They wear “Byte Me” t-shirts. They feel naked without their MacBook.

Now the unique phenomenon is the iPhone … where Real World (non-geeks) collides with App World (geeks). Both adore iPhones and their two worlds meld into one. This really is a grand notion and something the mensas at Meat Couch Productions (seriously, this is not a porn studio) discovered. They turned the concept into a formula for billions$$ … Sex (Real World) + Farts (App World) = $$$$$$$.

Why do we give all the credit to Meat Couch? Four words … the BIKINI FART app!

BikiniFartDesc

bikinifart1   bikinifart2

March 20, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 12 Comments 

Just Google Me

Guess what … we are brilliant! No seriously … we really are. We’ve just came up with the most awesome idea for an iPhone app … this is the type of app that will immediately skyrocket to the #1 position and make us million$$ billion$$. We’re quitting our day jobs and taking over the App Store … screw Pocket God.

Since y’all (sorry, spent 5 days in Texas at SXSWi) are loyal KRAPPS viewers, we’ll let you in on our secret. But please … SHHHHH … don’t go babbling our stuff to EA Mobile, Appy Entertainment (wait, scratch them, they haven’t even released an app yet) or some other fancy pants mega-developer. Our idea is epic – so just be cool and don’t blow our billion$$.

GoogleMe_Final So you know those one dollar bills you have in your wallet? Well check it … we’re going to sell an app that gives users step-by-step instructions on how to make a one dollar bill into a ring – the Dollar Bill Ring app. WOOT … told ya it was EPIC! Yeah, we came across this origami site that gives all the details. The site was so easy to find …all we did is Google “dollar bill ring” and boom, thousands of dollar bill ring making choices. Heck, there are even instructional YouTube videos. But you know … it was easy for us to find because we are brilliant … but for the common iPhone owner, no way would they ever find this info … so thus, we make billion$$.

googledollarbillring

Internet-All-Star Not a good idea? Whatever hater! You see it’s all about “positioning”. We’ve been hanging on Twitter a lot lately and following all these SEO, SEM, Social/New Media, Make Money Online and Life Coach experts, strategists and evangelists (Internet All Stars) … so now we’re even more brilliant. Just check out our Dollar Bill Ring App spin (thanks All Stars!):

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And what do we charge for our Dollar Bill Ring app … why 99 cents of course … we’re going to sell crap-loads, so even if we charged 50 cents, we would still make our billion$$.

WHAT?!?! NO!!! SAY IT AIN’T SO!!! THIS BLOWS!!! ROTTEN BASTARDS!!! SOMEBODY STOLE OUR IDEA!!! IT’S ALREADY RELEASED!!! NOT ONE, BUT TWO DOLLAR BILL RING APPS!!! ARGH!!! NOT FAIR!!! MORE DAY JOB!!! WE SUCK!!! The freaking Eagle Ring and Pyramid Ring apps … THEY STOLE OUR BILLION$$!!

Rings

ring2

March 19, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 37 Comments 

Brown Note

Ever hear of Brown Note? It’s actually quite popular … Brown Note has been featured on the television shows MythBusters and Brainiac: Science Abuse. The character Echo DeMille from the NBC series Heroes is able to produce a Brown Note to escape from some of his pursuers. The band Ben Folds have incorporated Brown Note into their concerts. And probably the most popular Brown Note reference was in an episode of South Park …

Simply put, the Brown Note is an infrasound frequency that is said to cause humans to lose control of their bowels due to resonance. eww! And of course you know where this is going:

What’s great about the iPhone is that if you want to make people crap their pants,
there is an app for that …

BrownNoiseDesc

Yes – of course there is an app for that … Apple approves apps for just about anything … including the Brown Noise app … the app that theoretically makes people crap their pants. Thank you Apple for consistently approving apps we really need.

BrownNoiseScreen

March 16, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 11 Comments 

Fart 2.0

Have you ever heard somebody fart and think, “dang, that was a good one – I’d rate that baby a 10!”. Oh for sure … because think about it … FART is really ART, but only without the “F”. Pretty cool, eh? Whatever … you all are nuts!

Look … judging the quality of a person’s fart is really not our thing here at KRAPPS … but hey, who are we too judge. If rating farts floats your boat – go for it. We are simply here to deliver great news to all our fart rating friends (aka – freaks) … Nielsen Technology has released the most awesome (albeit, the only one so far) fart rating iPhone app, appropriately called … Rate A Fart.

RaFlogo

Seriously, we are about to dive into Rate A Fart’s features … it’s so sick (we mean that in a good way), you better sit down. Rate A Fart is basically a fart rater on steroids. Or call it, fart rater meets social media … FFR … the Facebook of Fart Raters. A collaboration of the finest minds. The user is supplied with an endless stream of member supplied farts from all over the world. English farts, Aussie farts, Japanese farts, Swiss farts, Egyptian farts … you have all-world fart access, so rate away.

socialmedia Ok, rating farts is so much fun (we guess – whatever), but participating in this fart competition is even better. Rate A Fart gives you the ability to record your own personal farts and then broadcast worldwide to other Rate A Fart users for scoring on a scale of 1 to 5. It’s almost like commenting on Flickr images.

Now if you have true talent … a gifted FARTIST, if you will (see what we just did there) … your farts will score big and be placed into the app’s dedicated Top Rated farts screen. Think Farts Of Fame … ahhh, your parents would be so proud! And if you fall short of the esteemed group of flatulence … don’t give up … keep practicing … Rate A Fart provides a nice archive where you can store your previous recordings and refer back to them for future work … sort of like how a baseball player tapes his swing so he can go back, study the film, make the adjustments and be ready to perform prime time at his next at-bat.

RaF1   RaF2

We think you will all agree – Rate A Fart ROCKS! The Flickr/Facebook of Farts, where Farts become Social Media and part of Web 2.0 … call it FART 2.0 (see what we just did there).

FREE Rate A Fart App To KRAPPS Viewers!
Neilsen Technology (Twitter @rateafart) was kind enough to provide codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download Rate A Fart FREE. Simply be one of the first 10 viewers to leave a comment and we will email you the download code. If you are commenter #11, don’t worry, yesterday Rate A Fart Lite was released at no charge … think  non-Pro Flickr account.

March 13, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 53 Comments 

Judging The Cover

caddyshack-poopie So my 4-year old daughter constantly bugs me … “daddy, can I play with your iPhone” – “daddy, I want my iPhone” … I mean WTH? How is Apple marketing to young children? Did they take out a major media buy on Nickelodeon or something? Does Apple place subliminal messages in Yo Gabba Gabba!? Probably … but whatever. The other day I downloaded this app and thought of my annoying daughter … figured I’d let her try it to stop the bugging. So she’s sitting there all happy and giggling and stuff … then all of a sudden she let’s out a huge shreek … “DADDY, THERE IS POOPIE IN YOUR iPHONE!” Again, WTH? Did Apple stoop to another low and approve a poop app? Obviously wouldn’t be a surprise. So we checked it out  and dang, they did … Apple approved a poop app!

EDITORS NOTE: While the above story is purely fiction (it didn’t happen), we can easily see this scenario occurring … people – be careful out there in App Land!

SoftServeTweet Did Apple approve a KRAPPS cousin – a POOP app? Well sort of. The clever folks at Ziconic recently launched the SoftServe app. An innocent enough app where the user creates a soft serve ice cream … adjusting its curvature, length and thickness. SoftServe can create four flavors: French Vanilla, Strawberry, Chocolate and Chocolate Fudge. And there’s the problem … that darn Chocolate Fudge. Folks … this ain’t no ordinary soft serve iPhone app … this is really the iPoop app – where you can create poops of any thickness, curvature or length. EWWW! GROSS! LOL … exactly! Hey, Ziconic isn’t claiming the gold medal of app creations (just check out their Twitter tweet above) … but you got to give them credit for giving us another opportunity to laugh at Apple’s approval process. Or better yet, like the Japanese blogger below (translation courtesy of Google Translate), laughing at people who just totally missed the boat on this app thinking it has a defective Chocolate Fudge rendering.

JapansesSoftServe

And finally, for all those folks out there who thought there was poop floating in the swimming pool while really it was just a Baby Ruth … don’t judge an app by its cover!


FREE SoftServe App To KRAPPS Viewers!
The folks at Ziconic (follow on Twitter @ziconic) were kind enough to provide codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download SoftServe for FREE. Simply be one of the first 5 viewers to leave a comment at the end of this article and we will email you the code.

March 12, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 22 Comments 

Underappreciated

There are many awesome things in life we simply take for granted … call ‘em underappreciated things. No, we’re not talking about your parents or the library or the mailman or public transportation … we’d like to focus on things even more subtle. Stuff like Astroturf .. Sneezing .. Pop Rocks .. a Hot Shower .. the Dual-Can Beer Drinking Hat. Ahh, now we got you thinking – things we totally take for granted, but play an integral role in life.

MonkeyTat To continue this thought, I’d like to share an excerpt that is the perfect sentiment to one of life’s most underappreciated things … the belly button.

For some reason, which is not so clear to me, the belly button is ignored by society and never regarded with the full respect it deserves. Not many words are written about it in history, science or fiction books. Not many movies deal with its unmeasurable sex-appeal and beauty, not many poems are written to praise and worship. Isn’t that a shame? – The Belly Button Encyclopedia

BellyButtonIcon Agreed! It is a shame – a travesty … for the belly button rocks! That’s why the developers at ch-apps are pure genius. Call ‘em strange, disturbed, eccentric or whack … but we consider these fine folks pathfinders … ahead of their time, beyond normal human comprehension. They recognized this void in life and filled it with the groundbreaking app, BellyButton. Funny how there are a million fart apps but only one belly button app … see our point … underappreciated.

And oh what an app it is – just grand! With BellyButton, first the user has their choice of 7 different belly buttons (or if you prefer the clinical term – umbilicus) … Innie, Outie, Six Pack, Hula Girl, Beer Belly, Navel Orange or the ever popular Hairy. Then the user chooses from 5 giggles … two different males, two different females and a toddler giggle. And finally the real tomfoolery begins … touch/tickle the belly button screen and your iPhone begins to vibrate and chuckle with laughter. But careful, too much tickling in Roulette Mode results in a fart (of course). Ahhh … now you understand the awesomeness of the BellyButton app. Hail ch-apps – Hiss the haters … because even though technically the belly button is a scar, it matters and is relevant. We <3 the BellyButton, it’s Krapptastic!

Belly Button 3  BellyButton2  iphone_bellybutton_hairy

FREE BellyButton App To KRAPPS Viewers!
The folks at ch-apps were kind enough to provide codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download BellyButton for FREE. Simply be one of the first 5 viewers to leave a comment with something you underappreciate in life and we will email you the download code.

March 11, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 20 Comments 

Brilliantly Disgusting

AiFC-Logo-v2REDGIF Last week we spotlighted Apple’s new fraternity … Appa iFonna Chi … home to only the finest (errr – grossest) of apps. Since then, the frat has been deluged with apps requesting to become part of the family. But due to their strict admission standards, Appa iFonna Chi has rejected most applications as they simply are not gross … errr … good enough for the brotherhood. But one shining star aligned perfectly with the brotherhood’s culture, values and philosophies …
Appa iFonna Chi’s newest member is the Zit Picker app.

ImAZit Was there ever a doubt to Zit Picker’s admission approval? No way … Zit Picker is the essence of Appa iFonna Chi. Perhaps still a bit of confusion why Zit Picker was approved? Well rewind to the year 1978 and check out the legendary frat movie Animal House. Who can ever forget the “I’m A Zit” scene where Bluto (John Belushi) demonstrates the human zit to a group of sorority girls.

Now you get it … Zits = Gross = Frats … whether it’s a human zit like Bluto or the iPhone Zit Picker app from the developers at Candywriter. It’s brilliantly disgusting … a game where the more zits you pop, the higher you score. ewwww!

ZitPickerScreen1    ZitPickerScreen2

Best part of Zit Picker … add custom faces using images from your iPhone’s photo album.

ZitPickerScreen3

How cool, errr, DISGUSTING! We can already hear chants from the Appa iFonna Chi house:

I’m a Zit Picker
I’m a Zit Picker
I’m a Zit Picker ‘til I die
But I’d rather be a Zit Picker
Than a gosh darn Sigma Chi

FREE Zit Picker App To KRAPPS Viewers!
The folks at Candywriter were kind enough to provide codes which will allow KRAPPS viewers to download Zit Picker for FREE. Simply be one of the first 10 viewers to leave a comment at the end of this review and we will email you the download code.

March 10, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 31 Comments 

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