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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
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- Slap A Sexy Belly, Make Music, Huh? – Belly Jam iPhone App [Video]
- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
- Sexy Star Wars Pinups – EWWW!
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Cosmo Recommends Safe Sexting App In ‘50 More Things To Do Naked’
Back in December we reported that Apple approved the Safe Sexting iPhone app … a photo application that lets users text discrete nude images (hooray for oxymorons) by covering up their naughty bits with blackout boxes. Apparently texting sexually explicit messages and photos (sexting) is quite the rage these days … landing our Safe Sexting article on the front page of Digg (supposedly this Digg thing is a big deal …. meh … all we know is that it cost us additional money in overage fees).
And now women’s magazine … Cosmopolitan … is joining in on the Safe Sexting tomfoolery. Featured in this month’s issue (April 2010 – Lady Gaga cover), on page 174 within the “50 More Things To Do Naked” article, is the Safe Sexting iPhone app. Cosmo’s article lists cool stuff every woman should do bare-assed (their words, not ours) … coming in at #8, our friend —> Safe Sexting …
Test run the Safe Sexting iPhone app. Take pics of each other with your phone, then use the app to choose different size boxes to censor your lady parts and his package.
However messing with the Safe Sexting app is not the only techie geek thing Cosmo recommends … sending Evites for a naked dinner, updating your Facebook status and bidding on eBay, both in the nude … are other freaky e-items on the list. LOL … rock on Cosmo!
But alas there is some sadness to Cosmo’s kinky iPhone suggestion … Apple has banned the Safe Sexting app from iTunes (da horror). So rather than leaving our KRAPPS viewers feeling blue (no pun), we recommend the Pocket Labeler app as a Safe Sexting alternative. Hopefully Cosmopolitan updates their article as well so readers are not left bare-assed naked with nothing to censor their lady parts and his package (their words, not ours).
Trololo App Is FREE Today Only – Make Your Ears Bleed For FREE
Ever hear of the Trololo Man? His real name is Edward Hill (aka Eduard Khil’) … a Russian dude who is wildly popular on the Internet these days due to a bizarre music video (we use the term “music” loosely) of a Soviet-era pop song … “I Am Very Glad That I Finally Am Returning Home”. The video is painfully contagious (your ears will bleed) and a must see … it contains no words, just a bunch of yuh-yuh-yuh’s and oh-oh-oh’s … coupled with pointing, laughing, hand gestures and other strange behavior.
Since every strange Internet meme deserves an equally bizarre iPhone app, Danish developer Andreas Moller decided to salute this crazy Russian music phenomenon with the Trololo app [iTunes].
Trololo for iPhone is simply EPIC. It’s got Edward dancing, singing, laughing and pointing. But best of all, the song never ends … it just keeps playing over and over and over (pure torture). In addition to the tight beats, rockin’ bumps and genius lyrics, this sick joint is accompanied by 6 unlockables … Applause, Funny Hat, Tone Invasion, Lava, Earthquake and our fave, Chicken Of Death.
And what would you pay for the convenience and pure joy of Trololo on your iPhone? Agreed … $5, $10, even $15 is a small price to pay for this gem. However Andreas is a good man, he’s only charging $1.99 for this iPhone masterpiece.
BUT WAIT … the news gets even better! Supposedly today … March 23 … is International Trololo Day (go figure). So to celebrate this momentous occasion, Andreas is giving away his Trololo app … Trololo is FREE TODAY ONLY … SHUT UP!
So don’t even think about it … just CLICK HERE to download Trololo and make your head explode, you can hate thank us later.
Apple Approves Blatant Doodle Jump Ripoff, Doodle Jumper
Even if you have a remote interest in the iPhone, chances are you’ve heard of Doodle Jump [iTunes $0.99]. Arguably the iPhone’s most successful game to date, Doodle Jump is a platform game developed and published by the two-brother team, Igor and Marko Pusenjak, of Lima Sky. On March 15, Doodle Jump turned 1 year old … already surpassing $3 million in sales – which Lima Sky claims is a first for any Indie development house.
Doodle Jump’s success is certainly well deserved. Igor and Marko work their asses off … constantly updating the game with fresh content (over 25 updates in year 1), reaching out to the media, connecting with fans, writing code, etc. Like we said, Lima Sky are indy developers … there is no team of artists, massive advertising budget or public relations gurus … just two dudes, working hard and crushing it. Doodle Jump is consistently ranked in the Top 10 of all paid apps … not to mention a very cool reference on the awesome TV sitcom The Big Bang Theory. If you haven’t played Doodle Jump, you are completely nuts … at 99 cents, it’s one of the best App Store bargains ever.
So the $3 million+ Doodle Jump grossed in its first year equates to almost $1 million for Apple (and roughly $2 million for Lima Sky). You would think by receiving a cool million, Apple would have Lima Sky’s back … huh, what? Yeah … Happy One-Year Birthday MOFO … Apple’s gift to Doodle Jump —> Doodle Jumper by CoolGame Studios.
Although “inspired” applications are nothing new in the App Store (heck, Doodle Jump was inspired by Papi Jump) and one can argue it breeds good competition which ultimately benefits consumers … blatant ripoffs of a unique original are a completely different story.
Back in November, we took issue with Pocket Devil being “too close for comfort” to Pocket God. Well Doodle Jumper makes Pocket Devil look angelic. From the name Doodle Jumper (yeah, great 2-letter product differentiation) … to the look-alike Doodler creature (oh, our bad … Doodle Jump’s Doodler has four legs, while Doodle Jumper’s has two) … to the identical gameplay of jumping up an unending series of platforms without falling … sorry, in our book, two additional letters and a couple of missing legs does not constitute an inspiration. It’s safe to say Doodle Jumper is a blatant ripoff of Doodle Jump.
But it’s all good … Doodle Jumper has “inspired” us. We’ll soon be submitting to Apple a few inspirational works … the Playboyer app, Tap Tap Revenger and I Am T—Painer. Apple seemingly doesn’t consider protecting copyright holders, thus it’s up to the individual owner to complain (hey, it’s Apple’s rules, guess they can do whatever they want). So as long as you don’t tell Playboy … we won’t either … and Apple will approve our Playboyer app. See … it really is all good.
Get Your Shit Together Apple – Hooters App Approved, Banned, Re-Approved, Re-Banned
We reported in great detail Apple’s recent war on smut apps … over 5,000 “overtly sexual” applications removed, virtually shutting down the entire niche. Now any time you wipe out such a large number of targets, there’s bound to be some collateral damage. Innocent bystanders like the swimwear shopping application Simply Beach … the 12+ rated iPhone game Daisey Mae’s Alien Buffet … and the photo manipulation app Wobble … were all banned for having “overtly sexual” content. Only they did not. Apple realized their mistakes and quickly reinstated these offerings.
Which brings us to today’s “WTF Moment”, courtesy of Apple …
Hooters is an American restaurant chain that’s been around for about 30 years. Their specialties are chicken wings and attractive waitresses dressed in white tank tops and orange runner’s shorts. Like any savvy business, Hooters had a number of officially licensed iPhone applications available in the App Store.
On The Go Girls was one of the developers that partnered with Hooters and published the Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash app. The app was released on January 21 and it quickly broke into the Top 100 of its category. So things were going great … until a month later, on February 18, D-Day for smut apps … Apple banned Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash. In addition to their Hooters application, Apple removed all 50 applications from On The Go Girls … completely shutting them down and destroying their sole source of income.
But wait! Apple realized that removing the all-American Hooters app was a mistake … and a week later, on February 25, Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash was re-approved for sale (with no change to its original content). Obviously a wise decision by Apple since the app skyrocketed into its category’s Top 25.
But wait! In typical bonehead fashion … less than two weeks later, Apple changed their mind once again and yesterday re-banned Hooters’ Calendar Sexy Screen Wash.
Seriously, this is getting ridiculous. Approved … Banned … Approved … Banned. Apple is acting like a neurotic pregnant woman. And why the re-ban? Allegedly Apple received numerous customer complaints about the Hooters app. LMAO … yeah, because Hooters Girls are so much more offensive than the ladies appearing in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit or Playboy applications (currently available for sale).
After the first ban, Fred Clarke, co-founder of On The Go Girls, stated in a New York Times interview (that Apple’s censorship), “goes farther than sexy content. For developers, how do you know you aren’t going to invest thousands into a business only to find out one day you’ve been cut off?”
Well Mr. Clarke probably should have taken his own advice. Speaking with him yesterday, he said, “We were reenergized when Apple reinstated our Hooters app and invested $5,000 for related development of the product line … only to be informed the app has been banned a second time. It’s a severe blow to our business, but we look forward to the challenge of succeeding in the App Store once again.”
Damn Fred! Is your glass always half-full? Are you always this happy-go-lucky? It’s ok to say it bro … repeat after us … FFFFUUU APPLE! Dude, not even the Double Jeopardy Clause in the US Constitution could save your ass from Apple. But then again, it should come as no surprise … this is Apple’s world, we just live in it.
[please note: while the above details the proceedings of the twice banned screen wash app … two other Hooters-themed applications have a similar saga – Hooters Calendar Girls Slideshow and 2010 Hooters Calendar Video.]
Overtly Sexual Apps Return – Apple Fails To Enforce New Policy?
As we reported three weeks ago, Apple went on a massive rampage of sex-oriented app removals. Without any advance warning … Apple banned over 5,000 applications during the course of 72 hours. This sweep of the App Store is Apple’s most significant effort in their war on smut apps, resulting in hundreds of developers’ livelihoods taken away. Apple delivered a serious and clear message … applications that contain “overtly sexual” content will not be tolerated.
After making such a strong and well publicized anti-sex app statement, you would assume Apple would err on the side of caution regarding any future sex-oriented applications. But we should all be familiar with the whole “Ass” out of “U” and “Me” thing.
Just three weeks after 5,000 smut apps were banished, Apple approved the myCupcakes and myBuns applications (both paid and free versions of each), by Bangin Apps. And while cupcakes and buns might seem like wholesome subject matters, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the true meaning behind these code names … tits and ass.
Bangin Apps, is no stranger to the App Store. Prior to Apple’s change of smut policy, they enjoyed two highly successful releases … myBoobs and myBooty. Both apps were ranked in the Entertainment category’s Top 100 and positioned as flagship products.
In attempt to follow Apple’s new guidelines, Bangin Apps re-skinned myBoobs and myBooty with new names and preview screenshots. However the content of the apps remains the same … tits and ass. And wouldn’t you know it, Apple approved the four “overtly sexual” apps with no delays whatsoever. Like their predecessors, myCupcakes and myBuns are climbing the charts … with myCupcakes already in the Top 100 of its category.
We doubt Apple reversed their policy once again … allowing “overtly sexual” handbra and dental floss covered ass images. We emailed Bangin Apps and are waiting for a reply … how did myCupcakes and myBuns apps bust through Apple’s no smut policy? Since these applications do not store pictures in-app, rather content is delivered via a server … our guess is that at the time of review, Apple never saw any of the scantly clad female images which the app currently contains.
But come on … did Apple really think myCupcakes and myBuns would contain a bunch of pastry and cake images? As discussed, Apple should err on the side of caution … cupcakes and buns … DUH!
Recap: Week Of March 1 – plus App Star Awards 2nd Edition
In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.
March 1: Exclusive: Steve Jobs And Bill Gates Turn Guido!
March 2: Poker Vs. Strong Female Role Models App – Result Of Apple’s ‘Overtly Sexual’ Policy
March 3: Amazing Dirty Sex City Names For iPhone – Really, Really Bad (Names)
March 4: Star Walk App – Because Having The Entire Universe On Your iPhone Is Freakin’ Cool
March 5: Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz iPhone App – Why Didn’t We Think Of That?
March 6: Go Ask Alice: Alice’s Adventures – Rabbit Hole Of Death iPhone Game
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App Star Awards 2nd Edition
(aka – I Listen To Bands That Don’t Even Exist Yet)
Never mind the Oscars (da shame, snubbing The Hangover and Zombieland), we have some real awards news. Coming soon is the 2nd edition of the App Star Awards. What’s killer about these awards is that it’s totally unique … one-of-a-kind … different. Unlike other iPhone app awards, App Star Awards discovers and rewards brilliant upcoming apps … apps that don’t even exist yet (or at least not in the App Store). Like we said … totally unique – totally cool. Pay attention to the App Star Awards for valuable insights and previews of upcoming applications that promise to be awesome.
Any app can be included for consideration (just as long as it hasn’t been submitted to Apple by March 26 … and no jailbreak apps). Developers can already begin to pre-register their app(s) … while regular submissions begin March 21.
The App Star Awards 2 is partnering with 360iDev (one of the largest iPhone developer events in the United States) and winners will be announced on stage at the conference (April 12 in San Jose, CA).
This year’s App Star Awards should be way better than last year’s … mainly because we’ll be participating in the event – HA! Yeah, we’ll be part of the judging crew … checking out the 30 “final round” apps (which don’t even exist yet) and voting for our three faves … top three vote getters will be declared the winners.
Anyways … we’re totally stoked to be part of the App Star Awards festivities and looking forward to checking out some kick ass apps. Stay tuned to KRAPPS for App Star Awards updates … and for complete details, see the event’s site at http://appsfire.com/appstar2/ .
Poker Vs. Strong Female Role Models App – Result Of Apple’s ‘Overtly Sexual’ Policy
Ladies and gentlemen … the story you are about to read is true. The facts have NOT been changed to protect the innocent.
Headlight Software has been in business since 1997 … creating high quality utilities and web-based services. With over 13 million downloads, their first product, GetRight, remains one of the premiere download managers on the market. In 2008, the company began developing iPhone apps with FTP On The Go (a direct descendant of GetRight) as their inaugural release. Since then, they have branched out into games and other utilities.
Although Headlight Software is a reputable, well-established publisher … their sole “lighthearted” app fell victim to Apple’s recent war on smut apps. Apple deemed the Poker vs. Girls app “overtly sexual” and it was removed from sale. Poker vs. Girls was one of the many strip poker games available for download in iTunes … containing images of girls in lingerie … pretty much the exact same thing you will find in the Victoria’s Secret All Access application (currently available for download).
So realizing it was time to nut up or shut up (love that movie), Headlight Software chose the former and released a polar opposite version of the “overtly sexual” Poker vs. Girls. As a matter of fact, this new poker app is somewhat inspirational … Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models.
LMAO … indeed, nothing sexy about playing no limit Texas Hold’em Poker against fully dressed career women … who stay clothed no matter win, lose or draw. Choose from eight different professional females … a Doctor, Fighter Pilot, App Developer, Mathematician and more. And just to play it completely safe (never know with Apple’s arbitrary standards), Headlight Software chose to go the total no flesh route with a Burka-wearing female as their icon.
So here’s the deal folks … if you’re looking for some steamy strip poker action for your iPhone, Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models is about as close (and we use the term loosely) as you’ll get in Apple’s new squeaky-clean, brand protected App Store. Unless of course a well-known company like Playboy, Maxim, FHM or Hooters decides to publish one. But until then … nut up or shut up … learn to love the Burka!
Poker vs. Strong Female Role Models (damn we love that name) is a free download [iTunes Free] with two strong female role model opponents available for play. The remaining six strong female role models can be unlocked, but NOT undressed, for only 99 cents. Again … nut up or shut up!
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