Every now and then, we think to ourselves … sure wish we could add a little Jewish to our life. But rather than hopping on a plane to Israel or New York City, we settle for matzo ball soup at our local kosher deli.
But good news … being deprived of our Hebrew yearnings is now a thing of the past! Got Jew? Check out the new Jew Booth iPhone app.
Per the app’s description, “Use Jew Booth to add some Jewish culture to your photos! Take a photo or pick one from your camera roll, then add Jewish items and Jewish bling!”
Like we did with Jewish President Obama …
And Jewish Justin Bieber …
Or the revolutionary Steve Jewish Jobs …
As a preemptive strike against potential Jew Booth critics (maybe it’s the really big add-on noses included in the app), the developer includes this statement … “The app is made for Jews by Jews! In no way is this app meant to discriminate against or demean anyone”. Well, that’s all good, however at least one Jew Booth user isn’t buying it (or actually they did buy it – cuz if they didn’t, they wouldn’t be allowed to leave a review … huh?) …
Back when Apple was cool with selling overtly sexual content, the App Store was filled with all sorts of sexy weaponry iPhone applications. You could download – Hand Grenade Hotties … Girls Guns Farts … Girls N Guns … Sexy Swords … and more.
Well not so much anymore … Apple has opted for a pure, moral and virginal App Store. So if you want to capitalize on the hot chicks holding guns fetish, you have to sell it like the GUNS Wallpapers application …
No plunging necklines … skirt hems at or below the knee … no bikinis or garters … girls in business suits with pulled back hair preferred.
But are those really the “girls with guns” rules? Or just a misleading way of stealing the buyer’s money … show preview screenshots that have NOTHING to do with the app you are selling. According to “dale38”, that’s exactly the bait-and-switch sales technique the GUNS Wallpapers developer is using …
“Misleading” seems to be the new trend with Apple … where app titles, descriptions and screenshots do not represent the actual application for sale. We highlighted these issues with Orgasm Videos, Lesbian Videos and Breast Videos … all applications which sucker buyers with false (sex) hopes. Hopefully Apple will put the kibosh on this unethical practice soon as you would think honesty would be part of Apple’s selling process.
Well luckily the folks at iBroomCloset recognize this severe void in society and have published … the BieberHair iPhone app.
Simply point your camera at the subject … click your iPhone’s shutter release … and BABY, BABY, BABY – OH … you just made the world a better place.
Look at Eminem … seems much happier as a Bieber!
Kim Kardashian … totally hotter as a Bieber babe!
Hans Solo … way bigger bad ass as a Bieber!
Steve Jobs … truly magical with his revolutionary iBieber mane!
Homer goes Bieber … simply amazing!
iBroomCloset is already working on updates to BieberHair … V1.1 will have the ability to email directly from the app … while the much needed V2.0 will allow users to put Bieber hair on existing pictures in your camera roll.
More Bieber? … BABY, BABY, BABY – NO!
As previously discussed … Apple has a problem with fart apps. After approving something like 27 million fart apps, they now decided the App Store contains too many of these one gun salutes. So it came as bit of a surprise to the folks at Rabe & Co. that their fart application … Fartify … was approved last week.
But it’s hard to blame Apple for letting Fartify sneak by (pun point +1) as it’s one of the best fart apps ever!
Fartify is NOT one of those tired and boring soundboard apps … rather it’s ART. In New York City, there is a grassroots movement … a street-art project where public signs are slapped with fart bubbles. These folks take their fart art seriously and produce some brilliant pieces.
Inspired by this street-art project, Fartify lets you add fart bubbles to your photos. Simply find the best cheek-flapper … snap a picture (or use images from camera roll) … rotate, enlarge and add a fart bubble … voila – pure gravy pants goodness.
There is no limit or boundaries with Fartify … only your creativity and imagination. Pretty much every photograph could benefit from the great brown cloud. Jobs / Gates – Megan Fox – Obama / McCain … all look better with Fartify. And as the trademark goes … there’s an ass for that!
Earlier this year, we featured a … juiced up – over-tanned – pit-stained – fist pumping … app called Jersify [iTunes FREE]. This photo application has the revolutionary capability of unleashing the Guido or Guidette in anyone … including Apple’s beloved co-founder Steve Jobs. With the help of Jersify, Steve Jobs becomes the ultimate Guido … “Sleazy T”.
Or how about Conan O’Brien? Yeah, that’s it … Coco is way sexier as a Guido.
With over 100 overlay options like Fedora hats, Yankees caps, Vercase and Prada shades, Fohawk hair, gold chains, the F you and more … the Jersify app provides an authentic Italian-American Muscle Milk look within minutes … including bronzer functionality for that gorgeous fake and bake synthetic tan appeal.
Jersify has just received an update, making this the most comprehensive and badass Jersey Shore-themed application available for the iPhone. Check out these features …
-> Gleamin’ white teeth whitener functionality
-> Three explicit FFFFUUUU hand gestures (the F you, the F you closeup, the double F you)
-> Guido Gallery … upload, browse and rate other Jersified photos
-> Jersify Smash Board featuring top rated photos
-> Share via email, Twitter, Facebook or though the new Guido Gallery
JERSIFY FREE FOR A LIMITED TIME
Typically Jersify is an absolute bargain at 99 cents … but apparently the developers are drunk and have lowered the price of Jersify to FREE [iTunes FREE]! We suggest you click here immediately and download Jersify for FREE … before the developers sober up and come to their senses.
GIVEAWAY – Jersey Shore “Grenade Free Foundation” T-Shirts
Jersify developer, CanaryCreations, was kind enough to give us two Jersey Shore-themed “Grenade Free Foundation” t-shirts … we are kind enough to give them to two lucky KRAPPS viewers. To enter the giveaway, tweet the following by 11:59pm PST Monday, October 11:
GIVEAWAY –> Enter to win a Jersey Shore t-shirt! And get the Jersify iPhone app for FREE. Visit @KRAPPS for details http://krps.us/a0Cb7s
Two winners will be chosen randomly from entries and announced via Twitter on Tuesday, October 12. Follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so that we can notify you via direct message if you win. One entry per Twitter account. Good luck!
If you thought photobombing squirrels were annoying … count your blessings you haven’t crossed paths with a transvestite. Freaking tranny bitches … loud, obnoxious and all drama. Worse is when they get stuck inside your iPhone. Besides putting the full whack on your antenna’s reception … these tranny skanks demand to be the center of attention and mysteriously appear in every photo opportunity. Our iPhone’s camera roll is filled with these so-called peekaboo trannys.
But don’t make an appointment with the Genius Bar. This is not a defect … this is the only tranny app available for the iPhone … this is PeekaBoo Tranny.
Meet Trina, ChiChi, Jazmine, Rhea and Gail … the girls of PeekaBoo Tranny. These saucy mommas will randomly appear as photobomb overlays when taking a picture with the app … magically turning your images from somber to sass. Trina is included in the initial download … while the rest of the tranny bomb bitches are available via in-app purchase.
Now when we say randomly appear in your pictures … we really mean it. These trannys cannot be controlled, contained or positioned. Just point your camera, shoot … and pray your tranny will behave properly and photobomb the captured moment in an optimal manner. Hopefully the developers are not too busy duct taping their junk as an update which allows resizing and repositioning the peekaboo bomber would definitely be tranny-tastic.
Screw that well-known Hipstamatic photography app … <yawn> boring … check out PeekaBoo Tranny and listen to your iPhone holla from
So Polaroid now has an official iPhone app … InstantCam … whoopee (it’s about time)! You would think being a pioneer in the instant camera business, Polaroid would know a thing or two about photography … but judging by their application, they don’t know squat.
Although InstantCam promises some pretty cool features … shake and blow functionality to develop your images – special effects filters – add text to photos … in reality, these “value statements” don’t mean shit as the final image output is approximately 300×300 pixels.
Not to conduct a lesson in Digital Photography 101 … but 300×300 pixels means the file size is extremely small and there’s virtually nothing you can do with it … especially printing it out. Say you want a nice 4”x6” print of the bitching picture you just created with InstantCan … forget about it! 300×300 pixels translates to a 1 inch by 1 inch print size … great for bug’s life – sucks for humans. 300×300 is so bad, this is probably the worst image output of any application in the App Store.
Apple has done a tremendous job with the iPhone’s camera. The current 5 megapixel camera generates images at 2592×1936 pixels … meaning you can comfortably print images from your iPhone in the 5”x7” to 8”x10” range. Compare that to the 99 cents InstantCam’s (LOL – yeah, it’s a paid app) 1”x1” print size, it’s easy to see why the official Polaroid application is complete KRAPPS and begs the question … why the hell did Apple even approve this garbage?