Blind Ump

Title: Strikeout and Indicator
Category: Sports

Watch these two 8-second clips real quick:

Now ask yourself … why in the world would a baseball umpire use their $200+ iPhone as a ball/strike indicator? Why in the world would an app developer think this is a good idea?

Ball-Strike-Screens

Being a plate ump is brutal. You get heckled: “flip over the plate and read the directions”,  “wake up, you’re missing a great game”, “you  couldn’t call a cab”, etc. … and getting nailed wheelchair by a rock hard baseball traveling in excess of  100mph in the nuts, face, shoulder, chest, shin, foot, etc. is not exactly pleasant. Yeah they wear padding, still hurts like a mother! And why add insult to injury, shattering your sexy cool iPhone?

But for some reason, two genius developers thought they could change America’s Favorite Pastime by releasing the Strikeout and Indicator app. Uhh, bad idea! Memo to umps, leave the iPhone in the car and keep using your $9 plastic indicator … however, equating the lack of App Store user reviews (one between the two apps) to low/no sales … well … umps may be blind, but they aren’t stupid.

February 18, 2009 | Filed Under Sports | 2 Comments 

A Look At Ralph

all iVomit Mobile download codes have been claimed – thank you

Sorry folks … we have to go there. We’ve been trying to avoid this topic. It’s been keeping us up at night. We are not thrilled about it. But in the end, a decision was made … we cover all KRAPPS … so we have to go there … our apologies in advance.

toothlessone2 iPhone farts have been well documented. There are now well over 60 fart apps and with new varieties continuing to appear, I guess a lot of KRAPPS should be thankful and buy these farts a beer. After all, farts were the trendsetter, making it possible for other KRAPPS to weasel their way into the App Store.

So one good bodily noise (fart) app deserves another … but this time, let’s kick it up a notch and get even more disgusting, crude and vulgar … let’s give that measly rated PG-13 fart app some steroids and introduce a rated R super app … VOMIT!

Well gosh darn fiddlesticks … iPhone vomit hasn’t really caught on. While 60+ fart apps stink up the App Store, vomit lovers have only 5 ½ (more on that number later) dedicated apps to choose from. So let’s take a look at this group of class acts or as we like to call it,
A Look At Ralph …

First up is iVomit from noidentity. It’s a clever little app … simply drag food into the subject’s mouth – over and over again – until he eventually blows chunks all over your iPhone’s screen. Messy screen? No worries – just clean it up by swiping your finger across the chunder. A big thank you to the developers at noidentity … your contribution to the App Store is simply genius. You complete me!

iVomit Screen2      iVomit Screen

Next we have the sole free vomit app available, Pukey Pete. Clever name – descriptive icon  – average execution … but hey, you can’t argue with the price. Basically you just touch the screen and watch/listen to Pete puke into a toilet. Oh yeah, it counts how many times Pete pukes … NICE! The real beauty is how the app’s description reads (Mr. Vomit App Description Writer – we salute you)

pukeypetedescription

iPukeIcon Moving along we fine iPuke … you knew there had to be one … sadly still no iBarf, iHurl, or iHeave. iPuke’s marketing position is cute puke … an adorable blue cartoon ball that tosses its cookies when you touch it. OMG, sooo CUTE!

Ok, this is where it get’s tricky – pay close attention. Remember we said there are 5 ½ vomit apps? Well developer Khalid Shaikh has decided to corner the barf market by releasing 2 vomit apps … or is that 1 ½. Either way, that’s solid upchuck market share. iVomiting and iBurps are Khalid’s creations. I think Khalid might have been three sheets to the wind when creating these apps. First sign of being drunk – each app is priced at $4.99. Second sign of being drunk – iBurps’ description reads like a belching app and even contains the word “iVomit”. Check it out below – we’re sober and still confused – 5 ½ vomit apps or 6?

ivomitingiburps

iVomitMobile-Icon And finally, we saved the best for last. The original and king of vomit KRAPPS, presenting … iVomit Mobile. Founded on Jan. 7, 2009, iVomit Mobile was the first barf app to grace the iPhone and has become the #1 best-selling vomit app. OUTSTANDING! And who can dispute iVomit Mobile’s fame? With 20 different selections … including classics like “Heave & Hurl”, “Corn Chowder”, “Porcelain Puke” and “Layered Barfcake”… iVomit Mobile presents the most complete vomit soundtrack available to consumers. But the real brilliance of iVomit Mobile is its artistic presentation … this is a visual thing, so just enjoy the concluding screenshots below …

iVomitMobileScreen      iVomitMobileScreen2

Free iVomit Mobile to KRAPPS viewers!
Happy – Happy … Joy – Joy … we’re giving away the King Of Vomit thanks to iVomit Mobile’s developer, Todd, at Magnificent Library. Just leave a comment below and we’ll email the code which will allow you to download iVomit Mobile for FREE. US iTunes store only. Good while supplies last.

February 17, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 37 Comments 

iBarf

This one is right up our alley … Barf Bag iPhone Holder … GENIUS! … check out the complete story at Engadget. Hope they replace those things for the next flight in case of a real iBarf emergency – YUCK!

Barf Bag iPhone Holder

February 16, 2009 | Filed Under General | 9 Comments 

Recap: Week Of Feb 9

Krapps-Avatar-80-GIF Obviously there are a lot of KRAPPS in the App Store keeping us busy. So naturally, a ton of articles here at KRAPPS. Hard to keep pace with this information highway? We hear ya! For your convenience, quick links to the previous week’s articles. Click here for week of Feb 2 recap.

Feb 9: Simply Disturbing – bouncing Oprah and Steve Jobs heads are cool
Feb 9: BurnBall Contest Results – see all the winning images, first place is a classic
Feb 10: I Want It All – the swiss army knife of bodily function sounds app
Feb 11: Good App Gone Bad – when geeks try marketing
Feb 11: Videos We Digg – a couple of not to be missed videos, hysterical
Feb 12: Section 3.3.12 – developers know this immoral code, do you?
Feb 13: Quick KRAPPS volume 3 – some really freaky and disturbing apps

February 16, 2009 | Filed Under Recap | Leave a Comment 

Quick KRAPPS vol 3

Presenting another edition of Quick KRAPPS. Click here for vol 1 … Click here for vol 2

all download codes have been claimed – thank you

Most are aware of gross sound effect KRAPPS like farts, grunts, vomit and burbs. But only the true KRAPPS aficionados know that these bodily function apps are just the tip of the KRAPPS iceberg. For example, what about all those straight up weird, bizarre, freak and creepy apps? They need some love too …

Remember those freak looking rubber martians? You would squeeze them and their eyes, nose and ears would pop out? Yeah, freaking weird and a disturbing visual. Well thanks to Keyvisuals and their Martian Madness app, you now have 24/7 access to your very own psycho martian. Just touch the screen and watch the sucker’s head explode. Keyvisuals claims Martian Madness is a stress reliever … KRAPPS claims Keyvisuals is just as freaky as their Martian Madness app.

Martian-1     Martian-2

Moving on … how about those Saw movies? You know, the horror flicks where dude saws off his own body part in order to live. Freaking disturbing, but certainly has a place in this world as Saw V (yeah, there are four other “hack your own limb off” episodes) grossed over $62.8 million, making it the top-grossing horror franchise of all time. So why not a place on the iPhone, thought the developers at Reandevou Software. Yeah, why not? Let’s throw a sound activated, mouth moving Jig Saw puppet (character from Saw) on people’s iPhones … it’ll be awesome to scare the shit out of these folks. Thanks Reandevou, now we can krap our pants anytime. The heck with those urine assistance apps we previously wrote about … throw out the raspy prune juice … get the Jig Saw Puppet krap assistance app – your bowels will thank you for it.

Jig Saw Screen Shot

More freaky KRAPPS? You got it … presenting the iVoodoo app from the creepy folks over at oeFun Inc. Simple concept … import someone’s image from the camera roll into iVoodoo and go off on sticking this prick with a pin. Take a read of iVoodoo’s description:

iVoodoo is the answer to your magical and spiritual needs. In today’s society it can be difficult to whip out a voodoo doll and stick it full of pins … That’s where iVoodoo comes in. Just launch the app and you’ll be manifesting destinies in no time at all.

Uhhh, yeah … ok … WEEEEEEIRD! But actually it’s a very well developed app: customize 5 dolls, 7 different pins, a pin management system and more. Which basically means somebody takes this voodoo stuff very seriously …. Uhhh, yeah – ok – WEEEEEEIRD!

iVoodoo Screen

And on our final freaky note, we’ll leave you with Crazy Metal Head from eZone.com. Positioned as your personal head banging buddy … just touch the screen and crazy metal will begin to bang his head. eZone states you can bring crazy metal to concerts or just talk to him. Huh? Ok – for sure – I want to party with this guy!

Crazy Metal Head Screen

Free Jig Saw Puppet to KRAPPS viewers!
Reandevou Software kind enough to provide KRAPPS with codes which will allow our viewers to download Jig Saw Puppet for FREE. Simply tweet the following message on Twitter:

got iPhone? follow and visit @KRAPPS for iPhone humor, funny review and giveaways >> http://KRAPPS.com #followfriday

We will then direct message you the download code while supplies last. Make sure you follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so we can direct message you the code.

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February 13, 2009 | Filed Under Quick KRAPPS | 1 Comment 

Section 3.3.12

Title: iStrip
Category: Entertainment

update: all download codes have been claimed – thank you

banging-head2 The developers are Rock Cottage Industries have bumps, cuts and bruises on their heads. Why? … because for months they’ve been banging their heads against the hard walls of their rock cottage. Why? … because sometimes the app approval process is painfully long, frustrating and simply unfair.

The Rock Cottage boys specialize in iPhone clock apps – Tokyo Time, Crazy Clock, Black Clocks and White Clock are their products. And like many, they noticed a distinct “shift” in Apple’s approval standards … think farts, vomit, pee, boobies and other KRAPPS. So with Apple opening this “Approval Door”, the boys attempted to jam their way into the App Store based on nostalgia … a vintage strip pen.

vintage-strip-pen2

But not so fast … Apple slammed the door on the Rock boys and thus the head banging therapy. But can you blame them? Farts and Jiggling Boobies are approved – but not a vintage bathing suit model strip pen? Come on … iStrip provides significant historical and educational value – I think? But Apple didn’t see it that way … boobies can jiggle, but iStrip was rejected based on Section 3.3.12 of the iPhone SDK Agreement:

“Applications must not contain any obscene, pornographic, offensive or defamatory content or materials of any kind (text, graphics, images, photographs, etc.), or other content or materials that in Apple’s reasonable judgement may be found objectionable by iPhone or iPod touch users.”

Ok … slow down sparky and your Section 3.3.12! You mean to tell me the approved Bikini Blast app with their girls gone wild models is not objectionable but the iStrip app with their vintage 60’s bathing suit model is offensive content? What a bunch of KRAPPS!

Bikini Blast      iStrip Rejected

Well this Section 3.3.12 nonsense does have a happy ending. It seems all that head banging was worth it as a light bulb went off inside the Rock boys’ bruised up heads: more clothes, make it a game (not an entertainment app), classify the game as age 9+ and change the title to “iStrip – Novelty App”. Guess what? … It worked!

iStrip-1     iStrip-2

Congrats to Rock Cottage Industries for their perseverance and “Never Say Die” attitude. The App Store is a better place now with iStrip – Novelty App in it. (hint, hint: iStrip allows the user to load custom clothing from the camera roll … the possibilities are endless)

Free iStrip to KRAPPS viewers!
Rock Cottage Industries was kind enough to provide KRAPPS with codes which will allow our viewers to download iStrip for FREE. Simply tweet the following message on Twitter:

Visit the new @KRAPPS Facebook Page. Become a fan for exclusive giveaways & more >> http://is.gd/iSzi

We will then direct message you the download code while supplies last. Make sure you follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so we can direct message you the code.

February 12, 2009 | Filed Under Games | 1 Comment 

Videos We Digg

In case you missed it yesterday, a couple of pretty entertaining iPhone videos were released at College Humor and The Unofficial Apple Weblog (TUAW).

College Humor’s “Cell Phone Reunion” finds the iPhone at a reunion, basically poking fun at all other cell phones and making an ass out of himself.

 

TUAW ran a feature similar to our The Toothless One Speaks article where we honored the first 48 fart apps. There are now over 60 fart apps since we ran our story and TUAW gives an updated look at these various fart options, including a fart medley video.

 

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February 11, 2009 | Filed Under News | Leave a Comment 

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