Recap: Week Of October 19

iphonekrappsV1GIF In case you missed any of the festivities, quick links to this week’s articles.

October 19: Sexy Senior Citizens – This App Is Just Too Weird

October 20: iDrinkCoaster – Because Everyone Should Have A $300 Drink Coaster

October 21: David Hasselhoff Conquers The iPhone, Gives Hoffalicious Advice

October 22: Sexy Memory – Better Than Ordinary Memory Match Games [$20 starbucks giveaway]

October 23: Best Use Of Push Notification Technology

October 24: Bratwurst, Drunk Cows And Gluten Free Beer – What’s Not To Love About This App?

October 25, 2009 | Filed Under Recap | Leave a Comment 

Bratwurst, Drunk Cows And Gluten Free Beer – What’s Not To Love About This App?

(written by guest author Connor Coghlan. follow Connor on Twitter @Condawg)

oktoberfest-girl-1 In celebration of Oktoberfest, we take our viewers on a journey … a journey to a wonderful land. Imagine a place filled with endless bratwurst, pork knuckles and racing dachshunds. A place where all you have to do is stand up, open your mouth and it will be filled with delicious nectar, ice-cold beer… no effort required.

Now, imagine being the one responsible for getting the beer into the mouths of others! Doesn’t sound nearly as fun, but stick with me … remember, our journey is to a most wonderful land.

Ale Beershooter gives you that opportunity to visit this glorious land. In this simple game, you attend an Oktoberfest celebration, equipped with a beer turret, as it were.

Beershooter-Title

Party-goers stand up and open their mouths wide open … hippo-like. To shoot beer into their pie-holes successfully, all you have to do is precisely tap their mouths. You are awarded points for a good shot and lose points if you’re not accurate. (Hitting big-breasted women in their rack, for some reason, still loses points. Hmmm, perhaps this is to avoid a wet t-shirt contest from breaking out … after all, there is already an app for that.)

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Animals join in on the fun as well. Birds fly by and briefly stop with their mouths open at a chance of receiving your delicious ale. Cows stop what their doing and come down from the mountain tops to partake in getting shit-faced. You get even more points for helping the animals out … sort of like Noah did (Noah was a cool dude).

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Plus, there’s a worldwide online score board. The top scores seem absolutely impossible to beat, no lie. I’m not sure how they do it, but it’s a great reason to keep playing.

All in all, Ale Beershooter is a FREE iPhone game [iTunes] … contains beer … is gluten free and cows get drunk. What’s not to love?

October 24, 2009 | Filed Under Games, Guest Authors | Leave a Comment 

Best Use Of Push Notification Technology

iphone-push-notification Push Notification is a mobile service created by Apple that forwards (pushes) notifications of third party applications to your iPhone. Notifications may include sounds, text alerts or updates to icon badges. In a nutshell, push notifications rock! You can download a variety of push-enabled apps and receive real-time news alerts, sports scores, stock alerts, weather, email, Twitter … even the Facebook application will soon offer push notifications.

But all these examples of push-enabled apps pale in comparison to what we feel is the best use of push notification technology … Whoopie Cushion 2.0 With Push Notifications.

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Although we vowed to put a moratorium on overplayed fart apps, we simply could not resist the temptation and possibilities of push farting. And as an added bonus, Whoopie Cushion 2.0 also allows peer to peer farting via Bluetooth.

With all this high tech tooting, we’re still debating the most entertaining feature of Whoopie Cushion 2.0. Is it the push farting possibilities? The peer to peer Bluetooth butt burps? Or is it sending the awesome “I Would Like To Connect With Your Device For Farting Via Push Notifications” email to family, friends, co-workers or even a Youth Minister at Trinity Lutheran Church named RJ Grunewald, who just happens to be the developer of Whoopie Cushion 2.0. Where was this guy when we were young and needed a Youth Minister … too cool!

Whoopie Cushion 2.0 2

October 23, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 1 Comment 

Sexy Memory – Better Than Ordinary Memory Match Games [$20 starbucks giveaway]

($20 starbucks gift card giveaway – see end of article for details)

balloon-boy-tshirt With nearly 100,000 applications in the App Store, what’s a developer got to do to get noticed by the buying public? Besides orchestrating a publicity stunt by pretending your app is stuck in a runaway balloon (bracing for the onslaught of Balloon Boy apps), you could try releasing a copy-cat of a previously banished app. The $1,000 “I Am Rich” app is now available from a different developer as “You Are Rich” (only $100 this time). One popular technique is to submit your app to Apple with searchable keywords of top-selling apps (defined as “keyword whoring” – we just made that up). For example, search “Pocket God” in iTunes and results other than the Pocket God app are riding the coattails of Pocket God’s success. Another method is incorporating trendy features into the app … make it fart or barf, include zombies and of course … make it sexy.

It’s been well documented on KRAPPS that sex sells. Just search keyword “sexy” in iTunes and you’ll see hundreds of sexy results … Sexy Alarm Clock, Sexy Sudoku, Sexy Flashlight, Sexy Alphabet, Sexy Bikini Farts, even Sexy Senior Citizens. The sheer number of sexy apps is mind-boggling … but then again, it makes dollars and cents … sex sells.

sexy-memory-170x170 For the most part, sexy apps are weak. Nothing against hot chicks, but when an app features a professional voice model who simply recites the ABC’s in an erotic and sexual manner … well, that’s just lame. So how about the app Sexy Memory [iTunes] from Giant Mobile? Is this traditional memory match game, with the trendy “sexy” descriptor, a sack of suck? Inquiring minds want to know (they told us), so we put our crackpot staff to the task.

Let’s get straight to the point … is Sexy Memory sexy? Well if you think matching gorgeous world-class models from J. Stephen Hicks’ Digital Desire is sexy, then the answer is a resounding “YES”!

Sexy Memory went the whole nine yards and partnered with Digital Desire to present 15 lovely young ladies for your memory matching desires. Unlike some apps, there are no dark alley, copyright rip-off infringements going on with Sexy Memory.

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What’s cool about Sexy Memory and increases repeated gameplay are the rewards. Users can earn from 1 to 3 points for every puzzle solved depending on difficulty levels based on decreasing time limits. For every five points earned, you’ll be awarded a trophy … high-quality wallpaper of a Digital Desire girl, stored in the app’s Trophy Room and can be used on your iPhone. The Trophy Room can display up to 99 wallpapers, thus effectively satisfying even the most mensa Sexy Memory player.

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From a techie geeky point of view, Sexy Memory is built (coded) superb. The app is responsive, in-game sounds are slick, the UI is outstanding and after 178 hours of testing, we experienced no sexy crashes. For 99 cents and assuming you appreciate an adult twist designed to sharpen your short-term and sensory memory skills, Sexy Memory [iTunes] is a sexy steal of a deal.

GIVEAWAY
star-wars-starbucks-SMALL Of course no sexy article would be complete without a sexy giveaway. We’re giving away coffee in form of a $20 sexy Starbucks gift card. Leave a comment below (it doesn’t have to be sexy) by Sun, Oct. 25, 11:59pm PST and you’ll be entered into a drawing to win the $20 gift card. Why a coffee giveaway? – because we received a memo that said coffee is sexy. Why Starbucks? – because “Sexy Starbucks” sounds cool, it’s got that whole “S” thing going on.

October 22, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 29 Comments 

David Hasselhoff Conquers The iPhone, Gives Hoffalicious Advice

ghandi apple think different “Larger Than Life” is a phrase used to describe a legendary individual … when the persona surpasses the person. For example, many claim Winston Churchill was larger than life … his deeds, character and history are far greater than his humble human being. Leader of the worldwide Catholic Church, The Pope, is also considered by most as larger than life. Jackie Robinson broke the baseball color line and became the first African-American MLB baseball player of the modern era … yeah, that’s a pretty big deal and larger than life. Ghandi … him too, larger than life.

Now you may disagree with our larger than life examples above, but there is one individual who demonstrates such worldwide impact, fame and accomplishments … that there is no arguing with this person’s larger than life persona. Joining the legendary ranks of The Pope, Churchill, Jackie Robinson and Ghandi … and let’s be honest, this person is LARGER than larger than life … David Hasselhoff, aka The Hoff or A God Among Men.

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And how can you question this “LARGER than larger than life” claim? The Hoff is a TV star (Knight Rider, Baywatch, America’s Got Talent, etc.), a movie star (The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, Dodgeball, etc.), a Broadway star, a singing star, a music video star, an Internet star … hell, dude has his own star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. Pope-shmope. No one if larger than David Hasselhoff.

So now that you understand the universal magnitude of The Hoff, try to grab a hold of this … David Hasselhoff launched his very own iPhone app … Ask The Hoff [iTunes].

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Ask_The_Hoff_Screen1_LARGE   Ask_The_Hoff_Screen2_LARGE

Created by the UK-based mobile development agency Never Odd Or Even, Ask The Hoff is a godsend to mankind. Ask a question, shake your iPhone and an animated version of The Hoff replies with a response … recorded by the man himself, David Hasselhoff. The app gives iPhone owners the chance to receive spiritual guidance from everyone’s favorite bouffant haired Trans Am driving lifeguard. And since you can’t put a price on the LARGER than larger than life David Hasselhoff … the 99¢ price tag is highway robbery for this revolutionary app that will change the world.

Don’t Hassel The Hoff! (additional insights into The Hoff app)
David-Hasselhoff-27A08 Unlike many celebrity-based apps which lift soundtracks from film and TV without permission, the material contained in Ask The Hoff is 100% David Hasselhoff and recorded exclusively by him for this app. The app’s angelic-like introduction is by a gospel choir in Dallas. And get this, even Steve Jobs doesn’t Hassel The Hoff. Apple rejected the app because they felt it ridiculed and defamed David Hasselhoff. But when presented documentation that the app was made in conjunction with The Hoff, Apple quickly approved Ask The Hoff within 24 hours or re-submittal. Now that is Hoffalicious!

October 21, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 28 Comments 

iDrinkCoaster – Because Everyone Should Have A $300 Drink Coaster

party-kangaroo Australia. A bit peculiar, a bit nuts … they just seem so, uh … backwards. Seriously, think about it. When it’s really summer, Australia is freezing cold in the middle of winter. When it’s actually Sunday, the Aussies are back to work on a dreaded Monday. And what about Australian Rules Football … looks nothing like normal football – the National Football League or the English Premier League for that matter. And last we heard (via Twitter – so you know this info is accurate), while most of the world is living in 2009 … it’s 2010 in Australia – WTH?

But even with their quirks … we love Australia. The wine (especially Mollydooker Shiraz) is da bomb (a fruit-bomb, but still all good), beautiful beaches, cool accents, Thunder From Down Under and like us, they love a good beer drinking session. So knowing this mentality, it comes as no surprise that a group of fun-loving Aussies geeks coded the world’s first iPhone drink coaster … iDrinkCoaster [iTunes].

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Mock all you want, but it kinda makes sense. How often were you out drinking at a friend’s house, at a ballgame, during surgery or whatever and no drink coaster was available? Rather than being uncivilized and placing your drink down sans coaster, launch iDrinkCoaster and you’ll be the idiot … errr … envy of your social gathering.

Oh and did we mention it talks! Hells yeah … these crazy Aussies made a talking drink coaster. So even if you hit a bar, club or local dive bar with your iDrinkCoaster app, you’ll be the most awesome person in the joint with your freaking talking iPhone drink coaster. And when we say talking … it’s best vocal feature are the crazy dingo-like insults iDrinkCoaster hurls at you if you’re drinking too slow – “Hey, less thinkin, more drinkin” … “Oy buddy, cop a drink” … “Strewth, I’ve seen koalas drink faster than you”.

To view just how incredible (or damaged) your iPhone can become with the help of iDrinkCoaster, check out the demo video below.

 

October 20, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | Leave a Comment 

Sexy Senior Citizens – This App Is Just Too Weird

sexy-grandmas-FINAL2 Have you ever been walking down the street and see a little old lady trying to cross the road? But instead of helping her avoid getting smacked by the on-rushing traffic, you think to yourself … “Damn, that little old lady is smokin’ hot. Wonder what she looked like 60 years ago.”

Or how about 4:00pm at a Souplantation Buffet … you’re standing in line and spot a wheelchair-bound frail old man attempting to top off his salad with canned beets. But instead of helping the poor guy complete his meal, you think to yourself … “Wow! Grandpa is sexy fine. Just look at his pasty white skin, yummy. I wonder what he looked like when he could actually walk.”

Hey look, who are we to judge … but if you do get curiously aroused by the elderly … there’s not only an app for that, but two. To satisfy all your fossil fetish needs, look no further than the appropriately named Sexy Grandma and Sexy Grandpa iPhone apps.

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And how perfect, you’ll be able to proudly display the 100% Sexy Geriatrics icons. Don’t worry, nobody will think it’s strange. Heck, be loud and proud – flaunt that app. Launch Sexy Grandma, scratch off the “old” version of granny and show your friends just how amazingly fly she looks at either age 92 or 24.

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SG1  SG2

And don’t forget gramps … dude is bangin good at age 87, as well as 22.

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SG5  SG6

Look, we get the whole “Salute The Elderly” attempt … but come on … there’s just something creepy and weird about scratching off a poor old senior citizen’s face and revealing a sexy hot bikini chick or drop-dead gorgeous hunk. And memo to the developers … was it necessary to include a picture of what appears to be someone’s lovely great-grandma pictured in a nursing home. Yeah, the oxygen tank or fluid dispenser (or whatever the hell that is) just reeks of tackiness. Surprised we didn’t come across Mother Theresa … heard she’s Heavenly. <sorry>

Tacky

October 19, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | Leave a Comment 

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