Recap: Week Of October 12 (plus a frightening MouthOff update)

iphonekrappsV1GIF In case you missed any of the festivities, quick links to this week’s articles.

October 12: “We’re Not On Drugs” – Developer Challenges Our Claims

October 12: Aggressive Butt Flossing – Most Painful Screenshot Ever

October 13: O Canada, Get Your Mind Out Of The Gutter! Government Censors Cornhole All-Stars

October 14: iSeducer – An Interactive Diagnostic Tool For Scoring Chicks

October 15: Eco-Friendly Ass Wiping – Blog Action Day 2009

October 16: New App Lets You Give The Finger – Yankees Fans Rejoice

October 17: Once Banished I Am Rich Returns To The iPhone As You Are Rich

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Bonus Round:
One of the apps we’ve recently been enjoying is MouthOff … a sound-reactive animated mouth that makes you look freaking funny. Included in the app are 37 original cartoon mouths from 12 top illustrators. MouthOff is fresh, unique and thoroughly entertaining. At
99 cents, MouthOff [iTunes] is a no-brainer and one helluv a deal.

MouthOff-Big-Banner-FINAL

So a few weeks ago, we ran a story about the musical group, Tanya Morgan, using the  MouthOff app in their video “So Damn Down”. The song and video are super cool, while the use of MouthOff throughout the video is brilliantly unique. Click here if you have no clue what we’re talking about … read the article and watch the “So Damn Down” video. 

Recently, ustwo … the developers of MouthOff … contacted us about  MouthOff Hell-oween. We thought MouthOff Hell-oween was some rockin’ costume party for only the sexy people. But no, we were wrong. MouthOff Hell-oween is a free update to the app which will include four new mouths for you to get chatty with, including: a vampire, a zombie, a pumpkin and a frankenstein-looking dude. While not a sexy people party … the update does sound rockin’ and should be available any time as it was submitted to Apple on October 6.

MouthOff-Helloween-FINAL

So with these four new Halloween-themed cartoons, MouthOff will now have a total of 41 mouths. And that no-brainer helluv a deal  … it becomes even sweeter. For 99 cents, be sure to check out and have your own sexy people party with MouthOff [iTunes].

October 18, 2009 | Filed Under Recap | 3 Comments 

Once Banished I Am Rich Returns To The iPhone As You Are Rich

(excuse us while we pick our jaw up off the floor)

jawdrop WOW – we are completely speechless! (well, not really … but it’s a cool figure of speech) It’s well documented that Apple’s App Store and Approval Process are completely jacked up … but not since the Baby Shaker incident last April, have we been completely floored by a 110% bonehead move made by Apple.

Back in August 2008, the infamous I Am Rich app was launched by developer Armin Heinrich. For a mere $999.99, users … errr … idiots could download I Am Rich and flaunt their wealth and/or stupidity on their iPhone’s screen in form of a glowing red garnet. Apple quickly removed I Am Rich from the App Store (although eight morons had already purchased the app), while critics proclaimed the app a scam, utter crap and an insult to all well-meaning developers. I Am Rich is a historic app and arguably the #1 KRAPPS of all-time.

I Am Rich Title    I Am Rich Screenshot

Flash forward approximately 14 months … late last night, “I Am Rich – The Sequel” made its red carpet entry into the App Store with You Are Rich (clever name) by 15-YEAR-OLD developer Mark Gurman. As with most sequels, You Are Rich sucks … a total rip-off of the original version … title, description, color palette and red glowing garnet. Only difference between I Am Rich and You Are Rich is $900 … comparatively, You Are Rich is a bargain at $99.99 (guessing it must be the weakening economy).

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You-Are-Rich-Description

You Are Rich Screenshot 

Last time we checked, it’s not April 1st. We gave ourselves a painful pinch – nope, not dreaming. Eyesight – all good, we still can hit a fastball. So either Apple’s calendar is whack or there are some serious mind-altering drugs going on at One Infinite Loop. Heck, maybe it’s the handiwork of an over-worked and under-paid Apple employee? 

An email has been sent to developer Mark Gurman requesting a promo code so we can download You Are Rich at no charge and provide our viewers an in-depth review. Uh yeah … we ain’t rich, but we also ain’t stupid.

October 17, 2009 | Filed Under Lifestyle, News | 18 Comments 

New App Lets You Give The Finger – Yankees Fans Rejoice

Flip-The-Bird So check it … dropping F-Bombs within an iPhone app is a big no-no per Apple and one of the quickest ways to get your app rejected. Well, unless you’re Nine Inch Nail’s frontman Trent Reznor – then having the word F**K in your app is ok. But apparently including F-Bombs in the form of a hand gesture is all good. F-Bomb hand gesture, huh? You know … Giving The Finger, Flipping The Bird, One Finger Salute.

Under the guise of SquirrelizeMe, you can now add the world famous F-YOU symbol to any picture you take from within the application. Of course F-YOU is not the only flair available. Choose from 11 others, including the freaking obnoxious photo-crashing squirrel, an angry seal, a creepy crawler, an okie-dokie hand gesture and more.

SquirrelizeMe-Title

SM Screenshot FINAL

[editor’s note: real quick … a Minnesota couple had a squirrel crash their self-portrait. it became an Internet meme and coined the term “Squirrelize”. check out the National Geographic blog which explains it all and the Mashable article of the top 10 squirrel crasher moments … little bastard has even appeared on the moon!]

Ok, let’s not kid ourselves … the reason you’ll be downloading SquirrelizeMe is for the awesomeness of F-YOUizing (yes that’s a word – we just made it up now) your images. Think of the endless self-expression possibilities and creativity the middle finger presents.

Finally figured out your ex-boyfriend is a cheating douchebag? F-YOUize him!

FYOU-Ex-Boyfriend

WTH? Balloon Boy Might Have Been A Publicity Stunt Hoax? F-YOUize the kid’s parents!

FYOU-Balloon-Boy-Parents

Think Octomom is a pathetic worthless piece of humanity? F-YOUize her!

FYOU-Octamom

Sick of that pansy-ass crashing squirrel? F-YOUize it!

FYOU-Squirrel

Some meathead Yankees fan gave you the F-YOU? F-YOU too Yankees fan – go Angels!

FYOU-Yankees-Fan

As awesome as SquirrelizeMe is, we do have a beef with the app. You cannot F-YOUize images stored within your iPhone’s camera roll … only pictures taken from within the app. We contacted Rostock, Germany-based SquirrelizeMe developer, Matthias Seemann, regarding this limited F-YOUizing feature. Matthias naturally responded, “F-YOU, wait for an update” … well ok then, we will.

In conclusion, we’re stoked to give our middle fingers a rest and let SquirrelizeMe convey our innermost thoughts and feelings. And we want to thank Apple for having the sense to pocket their mighty banhammer and let the world F-YOUize. Expressing your feelings is healthy, so perhaps this will be the first step in achieving world peace.

[F-YOU KRAPPS … you’re full of it!]

October 16, 2009 | Filed Under Photography | 9 Comments 

Eco-Friendly Ass Wiping – Blog Action Day 2009

bad-180-150 Today is Blog Action Day … an annual event that unites the world’s bloggers in posting about the same issue on the same day on their own blogs with the aim of sparking discussion around an issue of global importance. While not as trendy as those cool days like Valentine’s, Mother’s or Thomas Crapper Day … Blog Action Day certainly has its place among the 365 days of the year. This year’s Blog Action Day topic is Climate Change. Joining in on the virtual discussion are 8,000+ blogs in 141 nations … that’s a lot of peeps and is the largest-ever social change event on the web. KRAPPS is stoked to be a part of Blog Action Day 2009.

So what exactly is climate change and why should you give a shit? Well without getting to techie geek on you … think of the awesome Threadless t-shirt that states – “Stop Destroying Our Planet. It’s Where I Keep All My Stuff”. Climate change is basically global warming … certain human activities which increase concentrations of greenhouse gases, thus damaging our planet. And it’s very serious stuff as climate change threatens to cause famine, flooding, millions of refugees and more … not to mention … say goodbye to baseball, skiing, pinot noir wine, french fries, etc.

global-warming-PANTIES

Anyways, the good news is we can all very easily become eco-friendly. Got iPhone? Excellent … then check out the tons of eco-friendly apps that will help save the planet.  Awesome lists of green apps can be found at The Apple Blog, Eco Salon, Tree Hugger and Planet Green.

And what about us at KRAPPS? With the hundreds of eco-friendly apps available for download, which one do we find the most “interesting” (in a good “KRAPPS” way) … the toilet paper guide free from Greenpeace, of course!

Greenpeace-Tissue-Guide

Greenpeace-1   Greenpeace-2

Charmin-Toilet-Paper-FINAL You know it … a handy guide to finding eco-friendly toilet paper, facial tissue, paper towels and paper napkins. The Greenpeace Tissue Guide app lists various well-known brands and rates their products for environmental friendliness. The brands are then categorized by the results: Recommended, Could Do Better and Should Be Avoided (aka Evil). And surprise, surprise … well known brands like Kleenex, Charmin and Scott are evil – sorry – Should Be Avoided … while Green Forest, CVS Earth Essentials and Trader Joe’s are among the Recommended brands.

So consider it being Blog Action Day and we’re discussing Climate Change … do Mother Earth a favor … download the free Greenpeace Tissue Guide [iTunes], purchase and wipe with eco-friendly toilet paper. Of course if you’re really gung-ho, you can take Gizmodo-reader bosskev’s advice …

I find you can’t get much greener than wiping with handfuls of sawdust. It really scrapes you down good and leaves your ass smelling all pine-y fresh. Just watch out for the splinters.

October 15, 2009 | Filed Under Education, News | 6 Comments 

iSeducer – An Interactive Diagnostic Tool For Scoring Chicks

I-Use-iSeducer-FINAL We are continually amazed at the number of pickup line apps available for the iPhone. Gems like iWingman, Get Any Girl, Ninja Pickup Lines, iPimpin and hundreds more. For the most part, these pickup chicks apps are silly, harmless and … well put it this way … if you’re using them in attempts to actually hook up with the ladies, YOU’RE AN IDIOT!

So along comes a pickup app like no other … iSeducer. Think of it as a hookup app on steroids … flexing its magical Casanova powers. iSeducer has you covered every step of the way … from the moment you meet a girl, to getting her interested in you and finally, iSeducer’s ultimate goal – having sex.

iSeducer-Title

LOL – reading iSeducer’s description, it’s like an infomercial preying on poor geeks:

Dear Friend … Can you, beyond any doubt, say that when you see a gorgeous woman, you know the exact steps you need to take in order to meet, attract and, eventually, seduce her? For example, you sit down to have a drink at a coffee shop and suddenly a beautiful woman sits right next to you. You keep thinking: “Oh my God, I want to talk to her, but what do I say so that the whole coffee shop doesn’t start laughing at me?” While you are thinking this, she stands up and walks out. You blew it again. For hours after, you keep kicking yourself thinking that you should have said something, but it’s too late. What if I told you that you never have to be that guy again? What if I told you what to do, step-by-step, in order to proceed from meeting a woman, to attracting her, to becoming physically intimate with her. Welcome to the iSeducer app!

Really bro, you’ll tell us all this? Damn, you’re da shid! You really are a friend. We’ll get laid with iSeducer for sure!

iSeducer continues their pitch by giving a coffee shop scenario and instructing you to whip out the iSeducer app when hot girl sits next to you. Navigate to the Lucky Lines section of the app and belt out this classic to hot girl reading a magazine … “Wait, I’m not done reading that page!”

iSeducer Lucky Lines

Hells yeah – BRILLIANT! “I’m not done reading that” …. but wait, there’s more. After you deliver the Lucky Line, she smiles and the two of you start talking. But then you get stuck, not exactly sure how to proceed. iSeducer suggests you excuse yourself to the bathroom,  navigate to the Seduction Speedometer, which will inform you to initiate physical contact.

iSeducer Speedometer

Ok, got it. Meet girl … talk to her for 20 minutes … engage in light touching. Hells yeah – BRILLIANT! But wait, there’s more. So you’re sitting in the coffee shop, groping this girl you just met and it’s time for her to leave. You exchange numbers and agree to go out on a date. So the next day you show up for your date but the bitch stands you up. Well no worries … iSeducer instructs you to navigate to the Mind Games section of the app and read the Flake section where you will be informed never to set up a date with a specific time.

iSeducer Mind Games

Ok, got it. When going on a date, make sure you don’t actually tell the person what time the date will begin. Yeah, makes perfect sense … on MARS!

Bully Beatdown So to recap … see girl, use iPhone to deliver a pickup line … talk to girl, then use iPhone’s suggestion and start fondling her … set up a date, use iPhone’s advice not to set an exact start time. Hmmm … excuse me iSeducer … do we have F-Me written across our foreheads? <classic Tom Cruise movie> It’s not cool to prey of unsuspecting geeks.  Sounds like it’s time for a Bully Beatdown.

October 14, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 4 Comments 

O Canada, Get Your Mind Out Of The Gutter! Government Censors Cornhole All-Stars

cornhole-FINAL As a preamble to our story, per Wikipedia:

“Cornhole is a lawn game in which players take turns pitching cornhole bags at a raised platform with a hole in the far end. A bag in the hole scores 3 points, while one on the platform scores 1 point. Play continues until a player reaches the score of 21.”

The folks over at JUFTi Games are big Cornhole fans and thought it would be cool to make a virtual version of the game. On August 1, JUFTi Games launched the Cornhole All-Stars iPhone app. Now read carefully between the lines … see what JUFTi Games did? Similar to the way “Football” is incorporated in Backbreaker Football or “Boxing” in Super KO Boxing … JUFTi Games used the word “Cornhole” in their app’s title – Cornhole All-Stars. Those BASTARDS!

cornhole_all_stars_111

Seriously, it really pisses us off when developers give their apps such clever and sensible names. Why couldn’t JUFTi Games name Cornhole All-Stars something stupid like … Pink Hippo Farms. Using the word “Cornhole” in the title of a virtual Cornhole iPhone game is simply offensive. Yeah you heard us JUFTi Games … SCREW YOU … you’re Cornhole All-Stars name offends us!

What? You think we’re crazy? SCREW YOU TOO! We’re not crazy and the Canadian Government agrees, Cornhole All-Stars is offensive, thus censoring the game in Canada.

Yup … cruise over to the Canadian App Store, type in “Cornhole All-Stars” and you’ll find nothing. As we said, the brilliant Canadian Government censored this clever and sensible title to … C*****e All-Stars. In essence, halting Cornhole All-Stars sales in Canada – if consumers can’t find it, they can’t buy it. LOL at JUFTi Games … maybe next time you’ll think twice about cornholing O Canada.

chascanada-FINAL

So we really wanted to get to the bottom of this dumbass move by JUFTi Games and contacted co-founder Jon Meyers. We asked Jon WTF was he thinking naming his Cornhole-themed iPhone game, Cornhole All-Stars. Jon gave us some weak reply saying … “incorporating the word Cornhole into the app’s title would provide potential customers a clear message to the premise of the game and a convenient method of locating a virtual Cornhole iPhone game amongst the nearly 100,000 iPhone applications”. Ha – not in Canada bitch!

Anyways, Jon and his business partner, Chuck Hootman, are prepared to “be heard” in Canada. They take issue with seemingly arbitrary Canadian Government standards and a lack of consistency throughout the Apple App Store.

Cornhole-All-Stars-Censored

“That the government in Canada wants to keep us from using the word Cornhole speaks volumes about its priorities – which seem to be limiting freedom of speech and trade between very close neighbors.” Chuck said. “We want Canada to free Cornhole and lift these harsh sanctions. We demand that the Harper regime free Cornhole.” Jon said.

americashat In hopes of freeing Cornhole from censorship, JUFTi has filed formal letters of protest with the Canadian Government and will travel to Toronto … staging protest rallies throughout the City on Thursday, Oct. 15 and Friday, Oct. 16. For more protest information, visit  SayCornhole.com.

Whatever JUFTi. Just remember … Canada may be America’s hat, but you’re their bitch. Hopefully next on O Canada’s agenda is censoring other offensive apps like Nut Sizer, iScrew and Cockadoodle Inc, eh?

October 13, 2009 | Filed Under Games, News | 4 Comments 

Aggressive Butt Flossing – Most Painful Screenshot Ever

Yeah, we can hear the photo-shoot director giving pose directions …

“That’s it, look sexy … yes, very nice – just gorgeous. Ok, arch your back sweetheart … perfect  – you are fabulous. Now undo your bikini bottom … good – be sexy. Now pull that bikini string up behind your back … ah – so beautiful … up just a little higher, tad more, little higher … ARGH – OH GOD NO … NOT THAT HIGH … MEDIC, MEDIC”

Adult Swim Wedgie

Ok look, we’re the first ones to appreciate images of a beautiful young lady in a barely-there bikini. But when the poor girl is pictured giving herself what appears to be a painful wedgie … well, we can’t help but laugh our asses off.

Thank you Adult Swim for providing this visual comedy of aggressive butt flossing!

Adult-Swim-Title

painful-wedgie

October 12, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, Lifestyle | 5 Comments 

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