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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
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- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
- Sexy Star Wars Pinups – EWWW!
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- MegaMan iPhone iOS 4 Home Screen Wallpaper Collection [Download]
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iPeePee – This Aim Game Is A Real Pisser
(written by guest author Connor Coghlan. follow Connor on Twitter @Condawg)
Let’s be frank … no beating around the bush, no seeking description … iPeePee is,
in essence, a penis simulation game.
(editor’s note: OMG! we can’t believe Connor just said p*nis. our apologies – we know p*nis
is a dirty word. dude, come on!)
The goal of iPeePee is to … uh, well … pee. Using the iPhone’s accelerometer controls, you need to pee in a variety of urinals and be as accurate as possible. There are a bunch of things you can pee on … such as a beer bottle that lets you pee a little longer (but decreases your accuracy) or a wad of cash, which somehow increases your score. Not to mention other random items for splash … bottle of pills, a radio, a billiard ball, your friend’s face (kidding), etc.
Surprisingly, this game is more difficult than it sounds. You’ve gotta get some pretty high scores to advance and it could take a lot of patience … especially after you’ve leaked on some beer bottles (which could be crucial if your urine level is running low before you’ve reached your goal).
Not only is iPeePee entertaining, but this game could be great practice for those inebriated public urination experiences that we will all eventually grow to hate (of course, it’s only effective if you stand about two feet away from the urinal).
Don’t have a penis? No problem! Believe me, it’s not a prerequisite! As I said, this is a simulation game, so anything is possible. Be a guy for a minute and piss all over the place. This game would be no fun if you had to sit down. In fact, I’m not even sure it would work at all. And if you are lucky enough to be of the male gender, you could easily use iPeePee for practice or even as a guide WHILE you pee. (this will require some duct tape to ensure accuracy with the game … I love duct tape, it’s very practical)
The only suggestion I have to “enhance” the game (no, “enhance” is not a Viagra reference) is to include an online scoreboard. You know … see how you rank against the most accurate pissers with an iDevice in the world. I could see iPeePee getting very competitive … you know … a real pissing match!
T-Pain Who? Rap Group, Tanya Morgan, Kills It With MouthOff
Here at KRAPPS, we love unique iPhone-related stories … where folks think outside the box and leverage the iPhone for something truly creative. Take for example the artsy fartsy web site Just iPhone Art which showcases beautiful drawings and paintings created with the iPhone … unique and creative. Or how about the Hell Chicken app … come on, it’s the only rubber chicken app available (unique) and dude was certainly creative concocting this idea. And of course there’s the ultimate in creativity, Smule … the geniuses behind such ridiculously unique apps as Ocarina and I Am T-Pain.
Now check out this really tight video from the musical group Tanya Morgan, performing their song, “So Damn Down”. What does this have to do with the iPhone … relax, just push play.
Wow … talk about “WTF Creativity”! Who would have ever thought of strapping an iPhone to a musician’s face and having an app sing the lyrics? Roy Miles … that’s who … he’s the dude who came up with the idea and directed the video (just curious … where did Roy get those strap-ons). Apparently Roy is a bit of an iDork himself. And naturally, the “So Damn Down” video was the perfect creative outlet for the MouthOff app. If you’re not familiar with MouthOff … you should be. It’s pretty much what you see in the video … a sound-reactive animated mouth the makes you look freaking funny.
MouthOff is insanely fun (check out the hundreds of hilarious user submitted videos here) and for only 99 cents [iTunes] it’s a freaking steal. A MouthOff Lite version [iTunes] is also available for no money down. Just as an fyi … since robots are quite the rage these days, you might want to consider being a MouthOff Robot this Halloween. For complete build details, check out this Engadget article.
Anyways, we’re super stoked for the folks over at ustwo, the developers of MouthOff. Since being prominently featured in the “So Damn Down” video, with its heavy rotation on MTVu and MTV Jams, ustwo can literally claim … MouthOff ROCKS!
iKnock Answers With Japanese Peeing Torture
The Japanese rock! Everything from sushi (no, California Rolls don’t count you pussy), to Domo-Kun, to those totally unique G-Shock watches, mix in a little sake, to aqua-titanium embedded Phiten necklaces … hell, we even have an uber-cool manga tattoo on our lower left leg (hurt like a mofo … but no pain, no gain). And of course, we love those crazy Japanese television game shows. You know, the one where women tie raw meat to their head and lower their faces into a glass box with a komodo dragon … chomp, chomp – OUCH! Or the one where a bunch of dudes repeat a tongue twister and if they screw up, they get whacked in the nuts by this nasty torture contraption – OUCH!
And the insanity doesn’t stop at Japanese game shows … they’ve made their way to the iPhone. Take for example the latest app from Japanese developer ZOO called iKnock. The folks at ZOO thought it would be fun to find some guy who desperately needs to take a piss … place him in front of a bathroom … only to have the bathroom locked, occupied by some a-hole taking his freaking sweet time on the can.
Talk about torture … poor dude is right there, inches away from relieving himself … but can’t. He keeps knocking on the door – knocking and knocking … only to receive such rude replies as “Keep Quiet” or “Wait A Little”. Now dude starts freaking out. He breaks into the classic Pee-Pee Dance … trying so hard not to piss his pants … poor bastard even starts turning different colors, he has to pee so bad. See the demo video to check out the pure madness and cruelty of iKnock.
WTH?!? Why would anyone create such a sadistic game? Easy answer … crazy Japanese. And hey, good news for all you sadists like us … iKnock is FREE [iTunes] … enjoy!
Best Fukkin App Name Ever! (volume 2)
Save it! We know what you’re thinking – “You suck KRAPPS! How can there be another best app name when you already declared the best app name EVER?!?”. Whatever Mr. Details … this is our fukkin site and we can do whatever we want. If you’re seeking attention to details, go fukkin visit CNN. Better yet … go pay $1.99, download the new CNN app and tell us how you feel about paying to watch ads (aren’t ad supported apps supposed to be fukkin free? … regardless, still a great app).
As we were saying … KRAPPS is declaring yet another Best App Name Ever (because we can)! We fukkin love this …
LOL … see what we did there? And you thought we were randomly dropping F-Bombs. Nope, it was serving a clever purpose … either that or you’re right, we do suck.
So let’s take a closer look at i-Fukkin (LOL, sorry – it’s still funny) … sans name, it’s pretty hysterical as a standalone. Please note in i-Fukkin’s description below … “Fukkin” means “Abdominal Muscle” in Japanese.
Oh that sexy cheer girl is so motivating. We can pretty much guarantee that i-Fukkin is the quickest way to an attractive six-pack. Why would you ever want to stop doing sit-ups when sexy Japanese cheer girl is dishing out encouraging commentary? And the best part … at the end of your workout (if you decide to actually stop), you get the fukkin awesome “Double Peace Sign Winky” gesture. That alone is worth the $0.99 you plunk down for i-Fukkin!
And finally, we’ll leave you with an i-Fukkin demonstration video from developer i-Labo. This presentation should clearly punctuate just how ridiculous … errr … cool you’ll look at the gym, doing sit-ups while holding your iPhone and drooling over cheer girl. Oh, and i-fukkin really want one of those wicked i-Fukkin t-shirts!
Wipe Your Ass & Smear Shit On Your Friend’s Face – Surprised There’s An App For That?
Hmmm, not quite sure what to make of this next iPhone app. We really don’t have a clever angle or an interesting hook. Guess we’ll just jump right in and take care of business (no pun intended). Oh … maybe a “WTF” is an appropriate lead-in … yeah, we think so.
Ok, so we’re talking about the iWipe app from FJM Studios. Its purpose is twofold …
Wipe your ass with your iPhone
Smear shit all over your friend’s face
Lovely, isn’t it? Good call Mr. App Approver! Not sure which part is worse … the wiping your ass with your iPhone thing or smearing shit all over your friend’s face. Actually, we think there is more to this app than the simple “Wipe & Smear” functionality … but honestly, we were so disturbed with the mental image of smearing krap on someone’s face,
iWipe lost us at “Hello”.
So with any original app making its debut in the App Store (we’re pretty sure iWipe is the only Wipe & Smear app available … at least we hope it is), there tends to be an onslaught of copy-apps. So brace yourself, you know they’re coming … Sexy Bikini Girl Smear – Creepy Zombie Wiper – iWipe T-Pain. And of course the “Take A Leak On Someone’s Head” app … iPiss … is right around the corner.
Love this Steve Jobs quote from yesterday’s 2 billion downloads press release – it really sums up our feelings about the Wipe Shit All Over Your Friends Face app …
"The App Store has reinvented what you can do with a mobile handheld device, and our users are clearly loving it."
LMAO! You funny Steve – you funny!
The Gr(Ass) Is Always Greener
< Pardon us for a moment … we’d like to get all philosophical on you. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt. Sometimes it’s nice to sit back, relax and ponder this thing called “life”. Bear with us and you might win a FREE app – see end of article for details. >
It’s human nature. Whatever we have, we want something different. Your neighbor gets a new car, a boat, or a new trophy wife and you want one too. It’s in our DNA. We can’t help it.
Perhaps that explains why the U.S. App Store is filled with hundreds of “Asian Hot Chick” apps? Stuff like … Cute Asian Girls – Asian Spice – Sexy Asian Babes (volumes 1-3) – Asian School Girls – Asian Boobs (uh yes, that is the actual name of the app … BOOBS).
If future anthropologists study this era, they will deduce that Americans worshipped scantily clad Asian iPhone goddesses. And hell … they might be right.
But the folks at No Tie Software tells us something interesting. You see, No Tie has a new set of 4ZONEZ apps (17+ rating) which feature a challenging memory game where the reward is pretty photos and sexy videos, combined with fun banter and sounds. 4ZONEZ apps offer a variety of beautiful women and come in different flavors, so to speak. There are 4ZONEZ … All-American Girls – Bikini Babes – Country Cowgirls – Dirty Dancers – Exotic & Edgy … it’s like the 31 flavors at freaking Baskin Robbins.
Guess where All-American Girls and Country Cowgirls are selling like hot cakes (or better yet, cold sushi)?
Yep, those apps are doing gangbusters in Korea, Hong Kong, China, Philippines, etc. Looks like No Tie Software is performing their own cultural exchange program. What’s your favorite flavor of 4ZONEZ? First 5 viewers tells us in the comments section win the stated 4ZONEZ app (promo code only redeemable in the U.S. App Store. Apple’s rules, not ours).
Recap: Week Of September 21 (plus hanging with Aladdin at Disneyland)
In case you missed any of the festivities, quick links to this week’s articles.
September 21: JeePee Madness – Experience Amsterdam For Free
September 22: Pocket Shot – We’re Still Talking About An App, RIGHT?!?
September 23: Most Offensive App Ever – As Seen In The Wall Street Journal
September 24: Need A Lumbar Puncture? Don’t Worry, There’s An App For That!
September 25: Press Releases That Don’t Suck
September 26: Corner Office – Payin’ the Cost To Be the Boss
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Bonus Round 
Special shouts to our boy Ace Marrero! Ace is an actor and currently plays the leading role of Aladdin in Disney’s “Aladdin – A Musical Spectacular” at Disneyland in SoCal (actually it’s California Adventure, but whatever). Ace is also a loyal KRAPPS reader (that’s him wearing the killer cool KRAPPS t-shirt) and an extreme iPhone fanatic. When Ace learned we were huge Disneyland fans (we have season passes … it makes us happy), he kindly offered to arrange VIP Seating and a post-show Meet & Greet with the cast of Aladdin.
True to its name, the musical was spectacular. Being a Disney production, we expected nothing less. Disney is like Apple, they have the Midas touch … everything they do simply kicks ass.
The writers frequently change portions of the show’s script to mention current pop culture. References of … Kanye West being a jackass, Twitter, Octomom, Amy Winehouse, Jon and Kate Gosselin, etc … were all strategically placed into Aladdin for a hysterical effect. And of course, an iPhone reference as well … the Genie describing to Aladdin three wishes that are not allowed:
“You can’t wish for three more wishes. You can’t wish to have someone fall in love with you. You can’t wish to bring someone back from the dead … although if you have an iPhone, I’m sure there’s an app for that.”
LOL … anywhoo … Ace rocked the Disneyland house. And being seated front row of the 2,000+ seating capacity Hyperion Theatre was a freaking thrill. We now have a huge appreciation for the musical’s 18 scene changes, 250 costume changes and 28 cast members’ efforts … never knew this, but those peeps are hustling up there and sweating their asses off. Like running a freaking marathon … artsy fartsy style, of course.
So if travel ever finds you at the “Happiest Place On Earth”, be sure to check out KRAPPS fan Ace Marrero absolutely killing it as Aladdin. You can also follow Ace on Twitter @NotoriACE (cute, see what he did there?) or check out his acting showcase web site at AceMarrero.com.
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