KRAPPS vs KRAPPS

written by guest author Tim Giron (follow on Twitter @timgiron)

funny-cat-fight I came across a couple of apps today that I thought were related, but then found out are quite different.  So, I decided to pit them against each other and figure out which one would win in a fight.


KRAPPS presents “Rumble In Our Jungle” … iOops vs iWhoop!

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First up is iOops, which presents a blank starfield screen (reminding me of an H.P. Lovecraft story) and an invitation to touch the middle of the screen.  Then, as the app description says, the “beast hide inside iPhone” will “come out and bite your finger” to which you will presumably exclaim “Oops!” though I was more apt to mutter “What the?” myself.

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The next contender for our street fight throwdown is iWhoop! which is a cool little soundboard app with some Southern fried phrases, ten to be exact.  You dial in the desired phrase and then engage the clever can of Whoop! to let fly the sound, the delivery of which reminded me of the Dukes of Hazzard.

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An important part of winning a street fight is the crew that you bring to the rumble.  Given that iOops reminds me of Lovecraft’s stories, it gets Cthulhu.  And, given that iWhoop! has a Dukes of Hazzard vibe, it gets the whole Duke clan.  While this matchup may appear to favor iOops, we must take into consideration that Cthulhu is not known for reliably showing up on time and them Duke boys have gotten out of some pretty sticky situations.  Advantage iWhoop!

For application startup times, iWhoop! is the clear winner.  Less than two seconds to offer someone a Knuckle Sandwich or the hilarious Karate sound.  Comparatively, iOops takes around eight seconds (presumably, locating the “beast hide inside iPhone” is not so easy as one might imagine).  Advantage iWhoop!

For ongoing entertainment value, I will have to give the nod to iWhoop! as well.  Once you’ve gotten everyone in your immediate vicinity to touch the screen and experience the “beast hide inside iPhone” for themselves, the novelty of iOops quickly wears off.  Not so with iWhoop!.  In fact, while writing this post, I discovered that you can “stack” the sounds for interesting combinations.  Advantage iWhoop!

The judges have reached their decision …
iWhoop! defeats iOops by unanimous decision at Rumble In Our Jungle!

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April 16, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment, Guest Authors | 2 Comments 

POOP

NakedKRAPPS Every now and then an app comes along that is so utterly moronic and lame that as writers, we simply let the app do the talking for us. No clever title … no intro paragraph hook … no LOL pictures … no witty commentary or catchy conclusion. Just straight up, raw, unadulterated iPhone application. Sort of like Naked Juice (no added sugar or preservatives) …. call it Naked KRAPPS – the 100% all natural krappy application.

Congrats to the folks at BarnacleJive Software for releasing the POOP app. As with all Naked KRAPPS, we’ll let the app do the talking. First we present the POOP description …

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Next we have a few POOP screenshots …

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And in conclusion we simply would like to applaud Apple for approving yet another integral application which enhances and adds value to the App Store. The world is a better place and our lives are now complete knowing that at our fingertips we have several hundred variations for the word POOP. Searching for nirvana? Just download POOP and experience the ultimate euphoria Apple has to give.

April 15, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 23 Comments 

Recap: Week Of Apr 6

In case you missed any of the festivities, quick links to this week’s articles.

Apr 7: Cheap Bastards – advice, enjoy life and don’t sweat the small stuff
Apr 8: For Your Confident Life – a life changing app! it’s freaking amazing! don’t miss it!
Apr 9: Just Gimme A Beer – the iPhone is making us more anal, obnoxious and idiotic
Apr 10: Little Help Please – do you have some serious issue? maybe this app can help
Apr 11: Appy Newz Launched! – Appy Entertainment’s first app, find out our first impression

April 12, 2009 | Filed Under Recap | Leave a Comment 

Appy Newz Launched!

AppyNewzGirl Congrats to the folks at Appy Entertainment on the launch of their first iPhone application – Appy Newz – born April 10, 2009 at 1:35am. We’ll have a complete review of Appy Newz in a few days (we’re having too much fun playing around with it to stop and write an article) … but for now our initial impression can be summed up in two words – IT ROCKS! Trust us, for a $1.99 (cheaper than a latte) it’s beyond a solid value. So honestly, to heck with our review, CLICK HERE to buy it now. We promise you’ll love it – unless your whack or something. If you need more convincing, CLICK HERE to view their entertaining web site – or just check out their awesome video below. 

 

April 11, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS, Entertainment, News | Leave a Comment 

Little Help Please

Similar to fart apps, there are a ton of Self-Help apps for the iPhone. Everything from quit smoking – to lose weight … From stop snoring – to improve self esteem and many more. Guess developers figured out it’s fairly easy to leverage a person’s shortcomings to make a buck … but we digress. Anyways, if you have a deficiency, the iPhone is your savior and can help fix it. And really, nothing is impossible to overcome with the iPhone – as we proved by our recent report – the iPhone can help prevent balding.

drunk444 So a nifty little self-help app caught our eye … myBadHabits from BeblowSquared. The purpose of myBadHabits is to visually monitor your progress at eliminating bad habits. The user enters their bad habit (or habits for the really jacked up) and every day, updates the app with their daily result. The app then displays a very nice progress chart tracking the number of days you are bad habit free. Especially motivating is the green and red status bars – if the user is “slipping”, a red status bar is displayed as a constant reminder that you are a loser.

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Overall, a sound concept and we’ve seen it enough to become believers … the iPhone can help solve any problem life delivers. And it seems like the folks at BeblowSquared are believers as well … just look at these claims …

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Whoa … time out … rewind … “Do you drink too much and wake up on your front lawn?” … huh? Ok – the iPhone may be able to prevent hair loss … but keeping it real … if you are in the habit of waking up on your front lawn after being completely obliterated from alcohol – well my friend, you have some serious issues that no iPhone will be able to fix. Better to save the buck ninety nine and put it towards checking yourself into the Betty Ford Clinic.

robbing11 Ok, next item … “Do you borrow money from your kids to support your gambling habit” … huh? We don’t care Apple approves … there will never be an app that will help you overcome your gambling addiction if it’s to the point where you are stealing from their kids. Try this … google “gambling addiction” and click on the first result entitled “Gamblers Anonymous” … the rest is up to you.

But here’s the kicker – so obviously myBadHabits attempts to help people kick whatever destructive habit they may have. Fair enough – props to BeblowSquared for the effort. But when you touch the Information button within the app, a screen appears of other apps available for purchase from BeblowSquared. And the first option for purchase, the myParlay app – an app that assists you in sports betting. Uh – ok … BeblowSquared might want to mix in a Beer Efficiency app which helps you get drunk as quickly as possible. LOL … indeed … myParlay and Beer Efficiency, the perfect complimentary apps to myBadHabits!

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April 10, 2009 | Filed Under Lifestyle | 1 Comment 

Just Gimme A Beer

stevebeer We’re beginning to think this whole iPhone thing is way overrated. Think about your life before the iPhone – pretty simple and straightforward. No tip calculator apps – thus no sweating over the exact amount of a gratuity to the penny. No hail a taxi app – just stick out your arm and flag down a cab. No suntan turn over app – just roll over whenever. No split up multiple expenses over a group of people app – you’d just come up with a ballpark figure and be done with it.

But the iPhone has changed all that … and in our opinion … making people more anal, obnoxious and idiotic.

Take for example the age old practice of drinking beer and getting drunk. Pretty easy, right? Step 1 – go to store. Step 2 – buy beer. Step 3 – open beer. Step 4 – drink beer. Repeat steps 3 and 4 until smashed. Simple enough, agreed. But NO … the iPhone has even screwed that up. Enter the latest “jack up your life” app – Beer Efficiency from Inner Four.

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What is this Beer Efficiency app? Well it’s a bit confusing to us mere mortals since the geeks really geeked it up … but we think we get the gist of it. Through a way too involved mathematical formula, Beer Efficiency calculates the amount of beer you must consume to get intoxicated the quickest and cheapest while consuming the fewest calories.

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So like the app says … “This all gets confusing pretty quickly. So we made it simple. Just enter a beer you normally drink and how much of it you drink to reach a state of inebriation. Then enter the available beers and their prices and will determine which beer is best for saving money or watching your calories and will tell you how much of that particular beer you need to drink to reach a state of inebriation.”

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WTF? This is nuts … when has getting drunk become so freaking complicated, calculated and science-like? Oh yeah, since the introduction of the iPhone … see what we’re saying … way overrated.

geekbeer1 Here’s some beer advice, it’s free and no iPhone required: want Cheap Beer? – drink Lucky Lager or Pabst Blue Ribbon … want Low Calorie beer? – drink a Light beer, they’re all about the same, 100 calories per 12 ounce serving … want Get Drunk Quick and Cheap beer? – drink Mickey’s or Olde English 800. See how simple … why complicate matters with that damn iPhone?

And on a final note, per Beer Efficiency … “The goal of this app is to help you to realize that not all beer has the same alcohol content and that you should be extremely careful not to become intoxicated on one brand of beer when you are used to how another brand affects you” … HUH? Whatever bro … key word = EFFICIENCY … get drunk as quickly and cheaply as possible … blah, blah, blah.

April 9, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 27 Comments 

For Your Confident Life

iPhoneHair Ok folks … step right up … gather around … listen carefully … because boy have we got an absolutely amazing app for you! It’s one of a kind – it’s an original – it will leave you wondering how you ever lived life without it. This featured app is for everyone – for man and woman. A ground breaking app my friends and we are so excited to present it to you.

Let’s start with a simple question … do you have hair? Most of you will answer “Yes”. Another question … do you want to keep your hair? Most of you will answer “Yes”. So it’s been established … most of you have hair and want to keep it. Marvelous! Then what you need to do is immediately purchase the HAIR CLINIC app by Sociag Project. What is this HAIR CLINIC app you ask? Well friends, it’s The World’s First Mobile Hair Clinic System which will help protect your hair for a confident life. Yes … protect your hair for a confident life with HAIR CLINIC … for man and woman!

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Now stop laughing! … Stop it! … Stop it right now! HAIR CLINIC works! Most hair problems such as alopecia and hair loss result from insufficient nutrition of hair roots that is caused by the circulation disorder of the blood around hair roots. HAIR CLINIC generates various types of inaudible high and low frequencies to promote blood circulation around hair roots and as a result, hair roots can receive normal nutrition … thus avoiding hair loss.

PoopHair With HAIR CLINIC, you’re on your way to a life of healthy and abundant hair … and it’s easy. Just follow the simple three step … Step 1: launch app, press the Cleaning button, hold iPhone to your head for 3 minutes to clean pores … Step 2: press the Massaging button, hold iPhone to your head for 4 minutes to promote blood circulation … Step 3: press the Improving button, hold iPhone to your head for 3 minutes to improve function of hair roots. And that’s it … simply hold your iPhone to your head for 10 minutes a day and you will have healthy and abundant hair.

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And here’s the best part! How much would you pay for healthy and abundant hair? $100? $75? $50? Nope, none of those prices … you don’t even have to pay $25 … get this – HAIR CLINIC can be yours for less than $10! Yes – you heard it right … only $8.99 for the HAIR CLINIC app … Your Choice Changes Your Life! Only $8.99 for the amazing HAIR CLINIC app … don’t be a fool – buy it now … a small price to pay for YOUR CONFIDENT LIFE!

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April 8, 2009 | Filed Under Health, Uncategorized | 36 Comments 

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