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Quick KRAPPS vol 3

Presenting another edition of Quick KRAPPS. Click here for vol 1 … Click here for vol 2

all download codes have been claimed – thank you

Most are aware of gross sound effect KRAPPS like farts, grunts, vomit and burbs. But only the true KRAPPS aficionados know that these bodily function apps are just the tip of the KRAPPS iceberg. For example, what about all those straight up weird, bizarre, freak and creepy apps? They need some love too …

Remember those freak looking rubber martians? You would squeeze them and their eyes, nose and ears would pop out? Yeah, freaking weird and a disturbing visual. Well thanks to Keyvisuals and their Martian Madness app, you now have 24/7 access to your very own psycho martian. Just touch the screen and watch the sucker’s head explode. Keyvisuals claims Martian Madness is a stress reliever … KRAPPS claims Keyvisuals is just as freaky as their Martian Madness app.

    

Moving on … how about those Saw movies? You know, the horror flicks where dude saws off his own body part in order to live. Freaking disturbing, but certainly has a place in this world as Saw V (yeah, there are four other “hack your own limb off” episodes) grossed over $62.8 million, making it the top-grossing horror franchise of all time. So why not a place on the iPhone, thought the developers at Reandevou Software. Yeah, why not? Let’s throw a sound activated, mouth moving Jig Saw puppet (character from Saw) on people’s iPhones … it’ll be awesome to scare the shit out of these folks. Thanks Reandevou, now we can krap our pants anytime. The heck with those urine assistance apps we previously wrote about … throw out the raspy prune juice … get the Jig Saw Puppet krap assistance app – your bowels will thank you for it.

More freaky KRAPPS? You got it … presenting the iVoodoo app from the creepy folks over at oeFun Inc. Simple concept … import someone’s image from the camera roll into iVoodoo and go off on sticking this prick with a pin. Take a read of iVoodoo’s description:

iVoodoo is the answer to your magical and spiritual needs. In today’s society it can be difficult to whip out a voodoo doll and stick it full of pins … That’s where iVoodoo comes in. Just launch the app and you’ll be manifesting destinies in no time at all.

Uhhh, yeah … ok … WEEEEEEIRD! But actually it’s a very well developed app: customize 5 dolls, 7 different pins, a pin management system and more. Which basically means somebody takes this voodoo stuff very seriously …. Uhhh, yeah – ok – WEEEEEEIRD!

And on our final freaky note, we’ll leave you with Crazy Metal Head from eZone.com. Positioned as your personal head banging buddy … just touch the screen and crazy metal will begin to bang his head. eZone states you can bring crazy metal to concerts or just talk to him. Huh? Ok – for sure – I want to party with this guy!

Section 3.3.12

Title: iStrip
Category: Entertainment

update: all download codes have been claimed – thank you

The developers are Rock Cottage Industries have bumps, cuts and bruises on their heads. Why? … because for months they’ve been banging their heads against the hard walls of their rock cottage. Why? … because sometimes the app approval process is painfully long, frustrating and simply unfair.

The Rock Cottage boys specialize in iPhone clock apps – Tokyo Time, Crazy Clock, Black Clocks and White Clock are their products. And like many, they noticed a distinct “shift” in Apple’s approval standards … think farts, vomit, pee, boobies and other KRAPPS. So with Apple opening this “Approval Door”, the boys attempted to jam their way into the App Store based on nostalgia … a vintage strip pen.

But not so fast … Apple slammed the door on the Rock boys and thus the head banging therapy. But can you blame them? Farts and Jiggling Boobies are approved – but not a vintage bathing suit model strip pen? Come on … iStrip provides significant historical and educational value – I think? But Apple didn’t see it that way … boobies can jiggle, but iStrip was rejected based on Section 3.3.12 of the iPhone SDK Agreement:

“Applications must not contain any obscene, pornographic, offensive or defamatory content or materials of any kind (text, graphics, images, photographs, etc.), or other content or materials that in Apple’s reasonable judgement may be found objectionable by iPhone or iPod touch users.”

Ok … slow down sparky and your Section 3.3.12! You mean to tell me the approved Bikini Blast app with their girls gone wild models is not objectionable but the iStrip app with their vintage 60’s bathing suit model is offensive content? What a bunch of KRAPPS!

     

Well this Section 3.3.12 nonsense does have a happy ending. It seems all that head banging was worth it as a light bulb went off inside the Rock boys’ bruised up heads: more clothes, make it a game (not an entertainment app), classify the game as age 9+ and change the title to “iStrip – Novelty App”. Guess what? … It worked!

    

Congrats to Rock Cottage Industries for their perseverance and “Never Say Die” attitude. The App Store is a better place now with iStrip – Novelty App in it. (hint, hint: iStrip allows the user to load custom clothing from the camera roll … the possibilities are endless)

Free iStrip to KRAPPS viewers!
Rock Cottage Industries was kind enough to provide KRAPPS with codes which will allow our viewers to download iStrip for FREE. Simply tweet the following message on Twitter:

Visit the new @KRAPPS Facebook Page. Become a fan for exclusive giveaways & more >> http://is.gd/iSzi

We will then direct message you the download code while supplies last. Make sure you follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so we can direct message you the code.

Videos We Digg

In case you missed it yesterday, a couple of pretty entertaining iPhone videos were released at College Humor and The Unofficial Apple Weblog (TUAW).

College Humor’s “Cell Phone Reunion” finds the iPhone at a reunion, basically poking fun at all other cell phones and making an ass out of himself.

 

TUAW ran a feature similar to our The Toothless One Speaks article where we honored the first 48 fart apps. There are now over 60 fart apps since we ran our story and TUAW gives an updated look at these various fart options, including a fart medley video.

 

Good App Gone Bad

Title: BobbleHead
Category: Entertainment

In June 2007, Rihanna released the “Good Girl Gone Bad” album which since has gone 2x  Platinum in the US. In October 2008, the JES Group released the BobbleHead app which is a relatively entertaining bobblehead application. Similar to Rihanna, on November 10, 2008, the JES Group released another app – Good App Gone Bad – with shocking similarities in functionality to their initial  BobbleHead release, with one glaring exception – sticker price = $14.99.

Either someone at JES or Apple was seriously drunk when inputting BobbleHeads’ price or JES is clearly one sandwich short of a picnic. I can only imagine the conversation which took place during the BobbleHead app strategy meeting:

“Guys, our BobbleHead app is kicking some serious ass. We have 40 App Store user reviews averaging 4 and a half stars – this is golden. Seriously guys, we are the Pandora Radio of BobbleHead apps! And get this … there are 6 bobblehead apps in the App Store – and we are #1 – we rock! Think about this, if we play our cards right, we could make millions of dollars, quit our day jobs and cruise MySpace all day for chicks. I swear, we are brilliant – chicks will dig us because we will have loads of money – we’ll be Superbad. Guys, call me crazy, but I say we raise Bobblehead’s price by 1,414% … hey, we might as well strike when the iron is hot. Raise it from 99 cents to $14.99. Brilliant – one thousand four hundred and fourteen percent! We have the #1 bobblehead app, we rock, we are brilliant, chicks will dig us … let’s do this!”

And now we conclude with commentary from real-life BobbleHead user “diehardyankeesfan”:

Recap: Week Of Feb 2

Obviously there are a lot of KRAPPS in the App Store keeping us busy. So naturally … a ton of articles here at KRAPPS. Hard to keep pace with this information highway? We hear ya! Introducing a new column called “Recap” … quick links to the previous week’s articles. Recap will typically run Sundays (yeah we know it’s Tuesday, we just thought of the idea today).

Feb 2: Finding Zen – who knew a flushing toilet could be so soothing
Feb 3: anti-KRAPPS BurnBall – love this iPhone game, find out why
Feb 3: History Was Made, Sort Of – a urine app, enough said
Feb 4: Speechless – featuring a not to be missed video demonstration
Feb 5: Think Different – Apple is so forgetful sometimes, we joggle their memory
Feb 6: The Wacky Ox – got problems? the Ox can help!

I Want It All

Title: iToilet
Category: Entertainment

update: all download codes have been claimed – thank you

As a prelude to our iToilet article, please enjoy this 45 second commercial for an actual iToilet. Well maybe not an “actual” iToilet, but with the amount of KRAPPS Apple is approving these days, I don’t see this as a far-fetched product line expansion in a few years.

 

Ahhh, doesn’t that sound nice? … The iToilet. Well in the meantime as we all eagerly await this next can’t miss product from Apple, developer Dennis Nederlof brings us the next best option … the iToilet app … and OH what an app it is! You thought iPhone farts were the shiz? You thought iPhone vomit was the pinnacle of awesomeness? You never thought an iPhone urine app would be approved? And of course, you never even fathomed the idea of a grunting/bowel movement app. Well my friends, KRAPPS is here to tell you this … your world is about to change … starting NOW!

For a mere 99 cents, iToilet will deliver every disgusting, gross, nasty and foul bodily function sound you could ever imagine … all wrapped up into one app. Agreed, the deal of the century! Just check out a few of iToilet’s features:

Nose Blower Sound? – yes, touch the “Blow Your Brains Out” button
Blowing Chunks Sound? – yes, touch the “Drank Too Much” button
Urine Sound? – yes, touch the “Like A Race Horse” button
Dropping The Kids Off At The Pool Grunting Sound? – yes, touch the “Pop A Blood Vessel” button
Grunting Farting Dropping The Kids Off Combo Sounds? – yes, touch the “Bean Burrito” button

    

Enough? Nah … there’s more:

Interactive Toilet Seat
Interactive Flusher
And when you’re done doing your business – a handy Plunger

And how about a little educational bone to top things off – over 20 fun filled toilet facts:

   

So there you have it … the amazing iToilet app. Seriously, ask yourself this question next time you’re about to hit the “Install” button … why settle for just a fart or vomit app when YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL!

Free iToilet app to KRAPPS viewers!
Developer Dennis Nederlof (MicroSECONDS Computer Consulting) was kind enough to provide KRAPPS with promo codes which will allow our viewers to download iToilet for FREE. Simply tweet the following message on Twitter:

Visit the new KRAPPS Facebook Page. Become a fan for exclusive giveaways & more >> http://is.gd/iSzi

We will then direct message you the download code while supplies last. Make sure you follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so we can direct message you the code.

BurnBall Contest Results

Last week, in our BurnBall anti-KRAPPS article, we announced a photo contest in which viewers submitted an image to the BurnBall Facebook Page with the following phrase: “I found BurnBall on KRAPPS.com”. Over the weekend, a panel of 17 celebrity judges (BurnBall Roy, Fake Steve Jobs, etc.) determined the winners.

Contest prizes include BurnBall download codes for the top 3 entries and a KRAPPS t-shirt to the overall winner. Well after seeing all the entries, the BurnBall developer (Tim Haines), being the good guy he is, decided to award all contestants free BurnBall download codes … even if the celebrity judges thought your entry sucked. BIG THANKS to Tim Haines for his generosity! If you haven’t purchased a copy of BurnBall … Do It Now … it’s an awesome game, 100% anti-KRAPPS certified and you’ll be supporting Tim Haines (aka “A Good Guy”). Also, be sure to become a fan on the BurnBall Facebook Page where Tim runs other promotions, giveaways and competitions.

Ok … enough jabbering … here are the winners of the BurnBall KRAPPS Photo Contest:

1^st Place goes to Tim Giron and his awesome impression of the BurnBall Roy character

 
2^nd Place goes to Brandon Andrew and his creepy Burger King inspired entry

 
3^rd Place goes to Jake Mates taking the graphic design approach

 
Runners Up include Keith and Arthur McTaggart’s computer screen

    

Thanks to all those who participated … everyone receives a free copy of BurnBall!

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