Simply Disturbing

Title: iBouncer
Category: Games

heidi_klum_12WEB Look … I’m the first one who can appreciate a simple paddle ball breakout app, but there is something quite disturbing about bouncing a dog’s head around on your iPhone screen. Thinking I’ll probably avoid sharing this app with little ones as  it might cause long term ill effects in children. Not sure if  the developer is either a dog  lover or a cat lover – guess an argument can be made either way.  Honestly, I would rather play bouncing Oprah or Rush Limbaugh heads … or how about bouncing Bill Gates and Steve Jobs heads … mmmm, bouncing Heidi Klum heads.

iBouncerScreen     iBouncerScreenB

And on a final note, bravo to the developer for this genius piece of marketing fluff:

Like Texas Hold’em, iBouncer is a game that takes only a minute to learn, but a lifetime to master!

Whoah, slow down there sparky! You must be confused with brain surgery or rocket science. Texas Hold’em does NOT take a minute to learn (mental note – invite developer to next poker tournament) and iBouncer does NOT take a lifetime to master. I can see it now … coming soon to ESPN … World Series Of iBouncer.

February 9, 2009 | Filed Under Games | 4 Comments 

The Wacky Ox

update: all download codes have been claimed – thank you

It’s been said before, the iPhone is a remarkable device. Heck, I barely even use the thing as a damn phone. And why should I, when the real purpose of the iPhone is making you a better person, while improving the quality of your life. $199 is a small price to pay when an iPhone and its 18,000+ apps can pretty much make everything in your life better:

Need to lose weight? – Got Apps For That! – (oink oink pig app)
Need to quit smoking? – Got Apps For That! – (lung age calculator app)
Need to relax? – Got Apps For That! – (attaining zen app)
Need to hail a cab? – Got Apps For That! – (taxi hold’em app)
Need to track your menstrual cycle? – Got Apps For That! – (iflow app)
Need to track your labor contractions? – Got Apps For That! – (birth buddy app)
Need to pee? – Got Apps For That! – (shy bladder app)

photo by FatoOoma Qatar~'s There is NOTHING the super iPhone can’t handle. Ok – maybe the above are just too easy … quit smoking, child birth, peeing … all a piece of cake. How about a tough one – a krappy marriage.

Need to save your marriage? – Got Apps For That!

Yup, we sure do! Thanks to Blue Ox Technologies and their Wacky Apps Collection (seriously, that’s what they named it – I think they did it on purpose to appear on KRAPPS), your iPhone is now a portable and cost effective marriage counselor. We’re talking the Marriage Saver For Men and Marriage Saver For Women apps (the Ox is smart … it’s that whole “men mars, women venus” thing). And the concept is so simple, yet brilliant … marriage sucks? … just push one of the app’s marital rescue phrases and the app does the talking – BOOM! – happy marriage once again. I mean just look at the phrases below – who can resist? – I’m already feeling that “you had me at hello” vibe all over again!

Marriage Saver For Men     Marriage Saver For Women

But like I said, the Ox is smart … saving marriages is a very noble thing, but why stop there?

Need to make friends? – Got Apps For That!
Need to advance your career? – Got Apps For That!

The Ox’s Yes Man (aka brown-noser, suck-up, kiss-ass or doormat) app and its amazing phrases will do the job.

Yes Man 
It’s a raging and crazy Ox! It won’t stop there – more help from the Ox.

Need to a back bone? – Got Apps For That!
Need some balls? – Got Apps For That!

The Ox’s Just Say No app and its incredible phrases will escalate your assertiveness while regaining your self-confidence. Wait a minute – kinda sounds like the Ox got lazy on this one and simply re-worked the Marriage Saver app.

Just Say No

Free apps to KRAPPS viewers!
The Ox was kind enough to provide KRAPPS with promo codes which will allow our viewers to download apps for free. Simply leave a comment below indicating which app you’d like (Marriage Saver Men, Marriage Saver Women, Yes Man or Just Say No) and whatever else you want to speak. 3 codes per app. US iTunes only. No shirt, no shoes – no dice.

February 6, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 44 Comments 

Think Different???

Title: Tic Tac Toe
Category: Games

AppleLogoThinkDifferent In 1997, Apple introduced an advertising slogan, “Think Different”. This slogan was the basis for various television and print ads. The basic message of “Think Different” was that Apple saw genius in those individuals with no respect to status quo … the “crazy” ones … the “different” ones … those outside the norm. Apple viewed these individuals as those who push the human race forward, who change things … thus aligning Apple with these “Think Different” brilliant minds and challenging everyone to “Think Different”, change the world.

 
No doubt about it … a moving, thought provoking and inspirational message.

Flash forward 11 years. Enter the iPhone App Store. Do a quick search with these 3 words: Tic Tac Toe …. you will be floored with the results. WTF – OVER 50 TIC TAC TOE APPS! Nothing against a good old fashioned battle of tic tac toe … but geeez loueeez … is it really necessary to have 50+ tic tac toe apps?

Snowman Tic Tac Toe – Tic Tac Dough – Tic Tap Toe – Kate’s Tic Tac To – Pirate Tic Tac Toe – Tic Tac Premium – Tic Tac Touch – Santa’s Tic Tac Toe – Net Work Toe – Elect Tac Toe – Tic Tac Joe – Tom And Jerry Tic Tac Toe – Tic Tac MyToe … the list goes on and on!

tom jerry ttt    pirate ttt    snowman ttt    elect ttt    halloween ttt

But why stop at these 50+ fine offerings? There’s still plenty of room for KRAPPS like:
tictacho from the iPhone family –  Tic Tac iToe
menstrual cycle tracker –  Tic Tac Flo
naughty naughty –  Tic Tac (fishnet) Hoe
time keeping – Tic Toc Toe
anti-drug awareness – Tic Tac (just say) No
Christmas 2009 – Tic Tac Ho! Ho! Ho!

Come on Apple – stop the madness – enough already. I fail to see how an endless option of tic tac toe apps is genius. Tic Tac Joe is not pushing the human race forward. Kate’s Tic Tac Toe (and exactly who the heck is Kate? and why did she feel it necessary to bless us with her presence?) is not changing anything except diluting your App Store with KRAPPS. Hey Apple, take a refresher course about your corporate identity … enough KRAPPS … Think Different!

February 5, 2009 | Filed Under Games | 4 Comments 

Speechless

Title: Pocket Jockey
Category: Games

Pocket Jockey Icon Rarely does something leave us speechless. The Pocket Jockey iPhone app, coupled with this demonstration video, pretty much floored us from the moment we pushed play. What is Pocket Jockey? How does it work? We don’t know – nor do we care … all we know is the video involves two girls, spanking, slapping, bed bouncing and more. No more questions – Just push play!

 

PS – MarinaGirl1985, please contact us immediately for a job position at KRAPPS.

February 4, 2009 | Filed Under Games | 6 Comments 

History Was Made, Sort Of

Title: iPee and Shy Bladder
Category: Entertainment

Due to budget cuts and a skeleton crew here at KRAPPS, we typically run one article per day. Well for the first time in our history, we are breaking budget and calling in our writers to work overtime. Why? We’ll explain below …

Apple Portable Potty With the recent onslaught of total KRAPPS like farts, burps, vomit, flushing toilets and more … we secretly have a guilty desire of a URINE app. However, the KRAPPS staff is divided on the feasibility of this issue:

Yea-sayers: if Apple approved bodily functions like farts, burps and vomit, why not urine?
Nay-sayers: no way! urine is too crude and vulgar, even for Apple’s standards of late.

So last night, February 2, 2009, at approximately 10:14 PM, history was made … not one, but two urination apps were released: iPee and Shy Bladder. The nay-sayers were in total shock. The yea-sayers rejoiced like over zealous Steelers fans. We’re talking history!! … Apple stoops to a new low!! … Urine will change the world!!

But hold on … don’t judge an app by its cover. Upon further review, iPee and Shy Bladder are not exactly the bladder movement sound apps we were expecting … rather it’s a bladder movement assistance app. Huh??? Yes, you heard correctly … launch iPee or Shy Bladder and the app will assist in opening your “Stuck Door” wide open:

iPee-Screen

Shy-Bladder-Screen
So next time you experience public stage fright, you can now look like an even bigger IDIOT by whipping out your iPhone, setting it on top of the urinal, launching the iPee app with its blaring white water rapids simulation … all while you pee freely. So maybe history was not made, but iPee and Shy Bladder are certainly ground breaking in terms of lame.

February 3, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 19 Comments 

anti-KRAPPS – BurnBall

Title: BurnBall
Category: Games

BurnBall and KRAPPS t-shirt contest – see end of article for details

DFH logo We at KRAPPS love a good beer. Anchor Steam, Sierra Nevada, Fat Tire, Chimay … all good stuff and since these are “big boy” brewers, they should be available at a store near you. But what about the little guys – the microbreweries? Yeah, if you don’t make an effort and look a bit closer, you’ll miss gems like … Three Floyds, Bells, Speedway, Westvleteren, Victory, Dogfish Head and others … all tasty brews which are limited in production and distribution.

Hello! … KRAPPS! … Wake Up! … Focus! …. folks come here for iPhone talk and don’t really give a rats behind about beer >>> Wait for it … we have a point.

Point is, we all know and love the “big boy” app developers … EA Mobile, SEGA, Freeverse, gameloft, etc. All these guys pour 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified applications. But like our beer mantra … don’t miss out on the little guys … the microdevelopers!

Anti-Krapps-Seal-v2GIF One such “do not miss” microdeveloper is IMS and their awesome 100% anti-KRAPPS Certified iPhone game BurnBall. BurnBall is an arcade game where the player attempts to block off parts of the screen with the BurnBall character (his name is Roy) while avoiding evil robots. The soundtrack rocks, graphics are top-notch and it feels like you are transformed into the BurnBall Icon BurnBall comic book world. Once you block off 75% of the screen, you advance to the next level. Simple enough (there are three levels of difficulty – Easy, Hard and OMG) … but very addicting. IMG was genius to leverage Web 2.0 and introduce a BurnBall Facebook fan page coupled with an online community where worldwide BurnBall high scores are posted. For more BurnBall fun, check out the video:


BurnBall and KRAPPS T-Shirt Contest
IMS was kind enough to provide us with BurnBall promo codes. KRAPPS is also kicking in love, a KRAPPS t-shirt. Follow the steps below to enter the contest …

Step 1: Open a Facebook account
Step 2: Click here and become a fan of the Facebook BurnBall page
Step 3: Submit/Upload a fan photo with the following text: I found BurnBall on KRAPPS.com (ideas: take a picture of yourself holding a “I found BurnBall on KRAPPS.com” sign … create a “I found BurnBall on KRAPPS.com” sign in Photoshop, Picknik.com, etc.)

Deadline to enter the contest is Friday, February 6, 11:59 PM PST. A panel of 17 celebrity judges (including BurnBall Roy & Fake Steve Jobs) will determine the winners. Be creative.

1st Place = BurnBall promo code & KRAPPS t-shirt (if you already have a BurnBall code, you still will style with your bitching KRAPPS t-shirt and the code will go to a runner-up)
2nd Place = BurnBall promo code
3rd Place = you’ll win something cool, we just haven’t figured it out yet

Winners will be notified on Monday, February 9. Good luck!

BurnBall Screen 1       BurnBall Screen 2

February 3, 2009 | Filed Under anti-KRAPPS | 14 Comments 

Finding Zen

Title: iFlush Toilet
Category: Entertainment

update : all iFlush Toilet download codes have been claimed – thank you

What’s with iPhone farts these days? So popular … are they really that funny? Farts are certainly a hot topic here at KRAPPS … and we’ll admit, the subject is getting old. So let’s move on to bigger and better KRAPPS … like toilets? Yeah … TOILETS … toilets need love too and can be just as cool as those silly farts.

funny-toilet-1   funny-toilet-3   funny-toilet-2

Waht? No love for the toilet? Da shame! The folks over at iTech Development Systems beg to differ. They figured, what better way to “celebrate” the iFart than release its natural extension … the iFlush Toilet app. Now I know what you’re thinking … flushing toilet sound, YAWN! But you got it all wrong. You see, there is something magical and soothing about the sound of a flushing toilet. Forget Koi Pond, jump on the iFlush Toilet:

iFlush-Desc-Final 
Ahhhhh, relax … just what every Zen Garden needs … a toilet. But hold on, it gets better. You see, not only will you be able to reduce your stress level with iFlush … you’ll be able to flush away your problems. So what’s buggin’? … your ex? Rush Limbaugh? mimes? Paris Hilton? lolcats? Barney? … flush their pathetic image right down the krapper.

iFlush Screen 2    iFlush Screen 1

LOL … oh geez … be careful not to step in something when you walk through the App Store, it’s getting awfully crowded with KRAPPS.

Free iFlush Toilet app to KRAPPS viewers!
iTech Development Systems was kind enough to provide KRAPPS with promo codes which will allow our viewers to download iFlush Toilet for FREE. Simply fill in the rest of the message below and tweet on Twitter. Basically we’d like you to recommend a cool Twitter user you follow (similar to #followfriday) so we and others can check them out …

tweet this >>   Follow @KRAPPS for iPhone humor & @

We will then direct message you the download code while supplies last. Make sure you follow us on Twitter – @KRAPPS – so we can direct message you the code

February 2, 2009 | Filed Under Entertainment | 21 Comments 

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