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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
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- Recap Week Of January 3
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How Much Does Steve Jobs Really Love You?
Last month during the iPhone 4 Antennagate damage control press conference, Steve Jobs must have said “We Love Our Users” several million times (which personally feels kind of creepy … like we’re Apple drug addicts or something and Jobs is our pusher – hmmm, guess this is sort of true – ewww).
We didn’t quite mind this proclaimed love affair until Jobs made the following statement …
We love our users so much we’ve built
300 Apple retail stores for them
LOL – stop the bullshit Steve, you’re killing us smalls … cnet reports the REAL reason you built 300 Apple stores = $2.58 billion in quarterly revenue. Hahaha … that’s a $$ whole $$ lot $$ of $$ lovin’$$ !
Sicko For iPhone Lives Up To Expectations – Grossest App In The App Store
[WARNING: do not read this article before, during or immediately after a meal – thank you for your attention in this matter]
First came the fart apps … followed by vomit … then the overtly sexual bikini girl apps … with some psychic healer applications thrown in for good measure. Let’s hope this next app doesn’t start a new App Store copy cat trend … Sicko.
Nothing really clever or slick about Sicko … it’s exactly as the app describes:
The most disgusting, horrifying and gross medical images around. Gross yourself and your friends out with blood and gore and many horrific and shocking injuries and infections.
THE SICKEST APP IN THE APP STORE!
The only purpose of Sicko is to serve up healthy portions of gunshot wounds, tooth decays, open sores, gangrene and an assortment of other appetizing pleasantries.
Although we completely disagree with the positioning of the app … we highly recommend Sicko to all those demented freaks who get off on these types of shocking and disturbing images. However like we said … the app is being marketed all wrong. Sell Sicko as a “curb your appetite” / “weight loss” application and you’re in for App Store $$ GOLD $$ !
Motivated By Sex Sells Principle, Veteran Developer Publishes His Best App Ever!
Developer Alain Fernandes is a rock star. Dude started programming 30 years ago on the programmable Texas Instrument calculator TI-57 at the tender age of 13 . His resume is quite impressive … experience in both PC and Mac OS / OSX environments, ten years of mobile and personal assistant programming, Atari, GameBoy, Xbox, Wii, PSP, DS … name a platform, he programmed on it. Mainly a video game coder and with hundreds of published titles to Alain’s credit … programming is his true passion.
Of course now rock star Alain is an iPhone developer as well. He actually retired from “corporate” coding and now works for himself … as an independent called In The Pockets.
And after 30 years of kick ass coding experience … what kind of insanely awesome offerings can we expect from Alain? Try the super cool A Art Of Pocket Light – Sexy iPhone application …
A Art Of Pocket Light – Sexy is similar to the billions of flashlight / light bulb applications found in the App Store … but with one amazing twist … when illuminated, the light bulb displays the word “sexy” … yeah and that’s it. EPIC WIN!
Hmmm … 30 years of programming? We’re thinking dude is obviously burnt out (no pun intended). And for those of you desiring more of Alain’s work, check out the “Love” and “Passion” versions of A Art Of Pocket Light … WOOT!
This Is What Geek Porn Looks Like [Video] – plus Recap Week Of August 9
Subscribe to our RSS feed and/or download the 100% free KRAPPS iPhone app … it’ll make you feel better!
In case you missed any of our perfect iPhone chaos, quick links to this week’s articles.
August 9: Circuit Board iPhone iOS 4 Wallpapers – Twice The Geeky Coolness [Download]
August 10: Learn Oral Sex The Apple Way With C*********s 101 [NC-17]
August 11: We Downloaded iSwimNude Because We Like To Swim Naked!
August 12: FU Apple Results In Huge Sales, Then Quickly Banished – Camera+ Pulled From App Store
August 13: White iPhone 4 Delay, The Real Reasons – Evil Orcs, White Supremacists & More [Comic]
August 14: This Is Why Steve Wozniak Rocks! [Video]
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Oh No! Geeks Gone Wild!
LMAO! From Revision 3 Internet Television … this is what happens when geeks get all sexed up and start shooting XXX videos.
Unboxing Porn – iPad Edition … it’s sexy, seductive and HOT HOT HOT!
This Is Why Steve Wozniak Rocks! [Video]
In case you missed it … Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple, turned the big SIX-O on Wednesday. Why should you care? Because Woz is the most awesome person in the entire computer industry. He’s not one of those typical C-Suite arrogant pricks … Woz is totally cool, likeable and approachable. Heck, dude camped out overnight in front of an Apple Store to purchase both the iPad and iPhone 4 … just hanging out with us common peeps.
Anyways, be sure to check out the Steve Wozniak tribute music video below … That’s Just The Woz. It’s really good stuff and drives home the message of why Woz is a universally loveable icon by geeks worldwide. That’s Just Woz is written and performed by Jonathan Mann … same guy whose music video was featured by Apple at the beginning of their iPhone 4 Antennagate press conference.
Oh – and get this … Woz’s wife, Janet, is also super cool. She commissioned this song as a birthday gift for her husband … STRONG!
White iPhone 4 Delay, The Real Reasons – Evil Orcs, White Supremacists & More [Comic]
Still holding out for a white iPhone 4 in 2010? Haha … good luck! Try 2011, if that.
And what’s the deal behind the delay? Reports speculate a variety of reasons … shortage of glass, bent frames resulting in misaligned phones, white paint not thickening … MEH - bull*cough*shit!
Well, we finally discovered the REAL reasons for the white iPhone hold-up via The Joy of Tech. It’s not just one factor, but a combination of the following … white supremacists, faulty teeth whitening strips (we always thought those things sucked), evils orcs, white trash (they’re always up to no good), white bread-like packaging and more.
So next time you read some white delay report on Gizmodo, Tech Crunch, Wired, et al … call out their crap because the truth has set you free …
FU Apple Results In Huge Sales, Then Quickly Banished – Camera+ Pulled From App Store
Now here’s an interesting sales technique … submit application update for approval – Apple rejects update – release the update anyways by hiding it from Apple. The result? $$ HUGE $$ SALES $$ AND $$ PROFIT $$ !
If you haven’t heard … TapTapTap, developers of the wildly popular camera application Camera+, submitted to Apple a cool feature that would let users take pictures by pressing the iPhone’s volume button. The feature was called VolumeSnap and it was immediately rejected by Apple. For complete details, check out TapTapTap’s blog.
Ok, so whatever … VolumeSnap rejected, life goes on … NOT!
TapTapTap decided to take matters in their own hands. They sent out an encrypted message on Twitter (later deleting the tweet after 30 minutes) which translated into a cheat code. In Mobile Safari, type the URL – camplus://enablevolumesnap – and the rejected VolumeSnap feature is enabled (to switch it off, enter – camplus://disablevolumesnap).
Well obviously on the Internet nothing stays a secret, hidden or undetected. Every website and their mother published the news about the VolumeSnap enabling code … stating, “get Camera+ while you still can – it probably won’t last long.” Hmmm … clear call to action, strong sense of urgency … a perfect sales pitch. And that it was!
Prior to the VolumeSnap issue, Camera+ sales were on a decline. After previously reaching the #6 overall paid app, Camera+ slipped to #23. But at the time of this writing, Camera+ is currently at their all-time high of #3 overall.
Camera+ is also at their current all-time high for top grossing apps, #2 overall … up from their #30 pre-VolumeSnap position.
Which is exactly the point of our article. Camera+ is an extremely successful application, with reported net sales well over a half a million dollars. So why the f**k would TapTapTap risk having their extremely profitable application pulled and thus halting an important source of revenue? Sure they received a HUGE boost in sales, but at what price? Perhaps TapTapTap decided they would no longer support Camera+ and this was their final “sales promotion”? Hopefully there’s a method to TapTapTap’s madness because guess what …
UPDATE – As we were writing this article and verifying the latest rankings for Camera+ … Apple pulled the app. But it’s not like we (or the developer) knew this wasn’t coming. So the question still remains … WTF was TapTapTap thinking?!?
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