The iPhone Can Now Make Your Breasts Bigger – Pissed Off Boob Job Surgeons Demand Recall

Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ … keep dat bullshit ROLLIN’!

Aside from Apple’s bullshit response to the iPhone 4 antenna issue (you’re holding it wrong) … there’s another disturbing trend out of Cupertino lately. Although the App Store has been cleansed from overtly sexual applications, Apple is perfectly fine with approving apps that are total scams … hair growth, wart removal, fat burning and more. There’s an app that helps you quit smoking by changing your cigarette’s flavor to ass … and of course the iPhone would not be revolutionary unless it made your penis happy and fixes erectile dysfunction. Oh and speaking or erections … there’s even an app which allows users to send hard-on’s to their friends as gifts – NOT KIDDING!

And now it’s time for boobs, breasts and titties … call ‘em what you want, the iPhone can now make them BIGGER with the Breast Enlargement Project application. HA!

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Claiming to end the flat chest era with this app, Breast Enhancement Project promises to deliver bigger boobs after just 10 days of use. Apparently the app plays magical music … and if you listen to this magical music 20 times a day, for 30 seconds at a time … you’ll magically make you melons grow BIGGER!

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Breast Enhancement Project even gives you an exact ROI … (20x/day x 30sec/day) x 10days = 100 minutes or 3 centimeters (approx one inch) of of boob growth … YEAH!

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Of course there are the usual disclaimers … Breast Enhancement Project states that if you have a negative attitude, the magic music will not grow your titties … “as long as you believe "Breast Enhancement Project" , the fact will be confirmed.” AMEN!

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[Disclaimer – Breast Enhancement Project is a serious application and is not meant to be used as a joke or gag. Like the aforementioned bullshit scam apps, Apple has classified Breast Enhancement Project as a Utility application, thus avoiding the obvious bullshit apps in the Entertainment category. CAPICHE?!]

Comments

  • I'm sure those are properly licensed characters from The Cleveland Show as well!

  • why yes, of course!

  • Matthew S. Sunday

    Not that I agree with approving these types of apps, and disapproving things like Google Voice… but, I just saw a news special on tv the other day that concerned this “boob noise”. Apparently, hidden in the frequency is the sound of a baby crying. There is supposed to be a bodily reaction that occurs to this sound, and a woman's breasts will swell slightly as if they were ready to feed…

    Not condoning, just sayin…

  • ok, certain sounds make you want to pee and even lactate to nurture a crying baby … fair enough … not too big of a stretch … but erections & bigger boobs, man, that's a tough one to swallow … but fun to write about 🙂

  • Matthew S. Sunday

    Agreed… even this is ridiculous… but, I just found it funny that an app was released a week after a tv special about it…

  • Just came and read, this is wow! I was seek from many blogs, but here is the best, I love it.

  • bluee eyes

    why did they take the breast enlargment app away ? this sucks.. it says its not available anymore ? someone tell me why please ..

  • Checkboxrise

    It’s not that serious Wow. I was just looking for the name of the app to see if it exsists . I’m sure it’s gone now because of all the whiney people. Get lives. Peace n grease

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    the great blog, I’m reading them for a while, thanks for the new posts!