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- Here’s To The Crazy Ones
- Despite Female Moans, SexLife Trailer Fails To Arouse [Video]
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- Adventure, To The Max! [iPhone Game Review]
- epic – The Toolbox iPhone iOS 4 Home & Lock Screen Wallpaper Set [Download]
- Recap Week Of January 3
- Sexy Star Wars Pinups – EWWW!
- Weird Stuff From Japan – iPhone 4 Sushi Case
- MegaMan iPhone iOS 4 Home Screen Wallpaper Collection [Download]
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Weighing Yourself With An iPad Easier Than With An iPhone [Concept]
With apps like Finger Scale, Touch Scale and iScale … using your iPhone as a digital scale to weigh stuff is a reality.
But obviously due to the its diminutive size, using an iPhone as a digital scale is fairly impractical. While it’s nice to weigh envelopes, coins or diamonds … what we really want to weigh is the KRAPPS temple, our smokin’ hot bod. The shit below simply doesn’t work …
But as Steve Jobs describes the iPad as “magical” … so are its possibilities … like iWeight found over at Thili …
Although just a concept … you know some developer will attempt to capitalize on human stupidity and submit iWeight for approval. Don’t laugh … Apple did approve the genital wart healing app, Wart Healer, so it’ll be no surprise if iWeight appears shortly at an App Store near you.
(via Walyou)
Werewolf Me – Steve Jobs & Oprah Never Looked So Good
Today we salute werewolves … the Rodney Dangerfield’s of the monster world … werewolves get no respect. Recently, werewolves have totally fallen out of vogue …replaced my the latest flavors of the month, zombies and vampires.
“MEH”, we say … “screw those trendy zombies and vampires – we’re sticking with the lady who brought us to the dame … werewolves rock!”
And what better way to celebrate werewolves than with Werewolf Me [iTunes $1.99] … the only iPhone app that will transform a face photo into a Wolf Man.
Simply upload a picture with the in-app camera or from the photo library … and in seconds your friends, family or whoever will be transformed into a super cool werewolf. The transformation can be immediate or for a more realistic approach, according to the moon phase.
HA … Steve Jobs and Oprah never looked so good (or the same)!
Farting Grandmas Prove Apple’s Commitment To Quality Apps
“Intermediate layers between the platform and the developer ultimately produces sub-standard apps and hinders the progress of the platform.”
The above quote is from Steve Jobs in response to TaoEffect CEO Greg Slepak. In layman’s terms … developers can only write iPhone apps using Apple approved languages (Objective-C). Now if you read between the lines … Apple is basically saying Adobe Flash sucks. By banning Flash from the iPhone, Apple is ensuring quality applications.
LMAO … avoiding sub-standard apps? … ensuring quality? WTF Apple … pay attention to KRAPPS, where we avoid the sub-standard and only review the highest quality the App Store has to offer … like Farting Grandmas.
Sure you can’t have Flash on your iPhone … but you can take comfort in watching grandmas fart. Sub-standard app? Nah … not on the revolutionary iPhone!
iPhone Moves Nuts, Dominoes And Other Stuff With This Useful App
As awesome as it may seem, the iPhone has plenty of shortcomings … you can’t sync to iTunes via Wi-Fi, no tethering and don’t even think about viewing Flash on your iPhone. Although these items are pretty significant drawbacks, our biggest beef with the iPhone is the fact that it can’t move things. We won’t even begin to tell you how many times we needed a device to move stuff like wine corks, a pile of nuts or a cigar. It infuriates us to move such items with our hand when clearly this is a job for the revolutionary iPhone.
Well thank God some sensible developers feel our pain. The brilliant minds at Qneo (same folks changed the world with the iPhone Blower app) recently launched Magic Mover and changed out life for the better.
Magic Mover uses the iPhone’s vibration function to move things … press the start button, the iPhone begins to vibrate and a mini bulldozer magically moves whatever item you place to the side of the iPhone.
Agreed … this sounds too good to be true. Shun the non-believer … per Qneo’s demo videos, with Magic Mover, the iPhone literally gets pushy.
Remember that frustrating pile of nuts we talked about? Frustrations be gone with the Magic Mover …
And we bet you hate all that extra effort it takes knocking down dominoes. Hate be gone with the Magic Mover …
So next time you have to spend half a second sweeping off Peanut M&M’S or moving a pencil a quarter of an inch, save time and energy …. let Magic Mover do your dirty work. And no, not that kind of vibrating dirty work. Remember, Apple no longer allows overtly sexual applications.
I Love Hot Dogs – A Tribute To App Store Stupidity
Oh geez, here we go … from the same brilliant minds that brought you the mindless I Love Burgers app, we present yet another App Store all-star … I Love Hotdogs … the tribute app to hotdog lovers worldwide.
Well, the one redeeming quality of I Love Hotdogs is the fact that it rates higher on the Dipshit Scale than its predecessor I Love Burgers. For whatever reason, folks look like bigger asshats when posing for pictures with hotdogs rather than hamburgers.
Of course you’ll always get the moron stuffing 127 hotdogs into their mouth …
Or the wanker who decides a hotdog is the best Halloween costume ever …
Long Duk Dong hotdog cooker? Yes please …
And finally, no hotdog tribute app should be taken seriously without hundreds of sexual innuendos. We are happy to report I Love Hotdogs does not disappoint …
Porn Prevalent Again In The App Store, Despite Apple’s Best Efforts [NSFW]
As we began reporting back in June 2009, Apple has a zero-tolerance policy for porn and nudity in the App Store. Any application found with revealing nipple or crotch-shots, have been nailed with Apple’s ban hammer :
06/25/09 – Hottest Girls … 07/01/09 – BeautyMeter … 07/30/09 – theXchange … 08/21/09 – Check myHottie … 09/15/09 – My X Girlfriend … 01/21/10 – forChan
But as you can see from the above examples, despite Apple’s “No Bra – No Panties – No App Store” rule, pornography manages to sneak past the gatekeeper. Developers continue to risk their good status with Apple in return for full frontal nudity glory.
The latest examples of App Store pornography are from Korean-based developer MSHOT Co., Ltd. They currently have three applications for sale on the App Store … all containing explicit sexual content and nudity … Top Secret 2, Model Pose and Model Pose 2.
The presentation and previews of the three applications in the App Store are very subtle. Their descriptions simply read, “Pocket Girls Series” … while preview screenshots are an enigma as well, encouraging viewers to visit Yashot.com for examples of in-app content.
But make no mistake about it … Top Secret 2, Model Pose and Model Pose 2 contain overtly sexual content to the highest degree. Breasts, nipples, vaginas and ass … name the naked body part, these apps have it.
MSHOT is no stranger to sleaze apps … we’ve covered some really weird shit from them (DVD Room, Mesmerism and Drunken Girls to name a few). However Apple’s war on smut put MSHOT out of business … well sort of. Less than one month after Apple banned over 5,000 overtly sexual apps, MSHOT released Top Secret 2 on March 9. On April 29, their second porn app, Model Pose, was launched. And finally, just yesterday, MSHOT’s third explicit sex app, Model Pose 2, became available for sale on the App Store.
So why do porn apps still exist if Apple is dead set against them? Well there are a few methods, but in MSHOT’s case, it appears they duped Apple. The apps’ images submitted to Apple for approval most likely are hosted on MSHOT’s servers. After the three apps were approved, MSHOT could have simply switched the images to the full frontal nudity variety without Apple’s knowledge.
F*cking with Apple is a losing proposition. Just ask developer Charles Rodriguez … developer of the infamous forChan app. Although forChan did not contain nudity, Apple felt Mr. Rodriguez was not forthright when submitting his app for approval and revoked his developer license. Section 6.1 of the iPhone Developer Program Agreement states … Apple has the right to terminate developer license for dishonest and fraudulent acts, including trying to hide application functionality from Apple’s review.
Does a similar “6.1 Fate” await MSHOT? We repeat … don’t f*ck with Apple … enough said.
Ever Wish You Could Fart On Command? Now There’s An App For That!
From the moment we read the opening line of this app’s description, we knew it belonged on KRAPPS. Or to quote the awesome movie Jerry Maguire … you had me at “hello”. Pocket Fart, you complete us!
Have you ever wished you could fart on command just by lifting your leg?
You know, come to think of it … it would be kind of cool to fart on command. We already have the extraordinary ability to burp on command, so being able to fart on command would give us two superpowers and make us totally irresistible with chicks.
Pocket Fart is no ordinary fart app. Developers Riccardo Roveri and Matteo Cortonesi decided to leverage the iPhone’s accelerometer in an unprecedented way … motion controlled flatulence. Simply stick your iPhone preferably in your pocket and Pocket Fart will then play the butt trumpet based on different types of movements.
We’ve heard of bluetooth and push notification-based fart apps, but using the iPhone’s accelerometer to transform its user into a fart on command superhero is an App Store first. Bravo Riccardo and Matteo … you two kooks are brilliant and we now have our Halloween costume picked out five months in advance … FARTMAN!
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