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- Chocolate, Doodle & Gold – iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper 3-Pack [Download]
- iPad Children’s Book “Farting Animals” Ensures Future Generation Of Fartaholics
- Have Fun – Be A Turd – Play DoodleDumps For iPhone
- Racy Pictures Of Apple Fanboy John Gruber Surface (Disturbing)
- Internet Happy Pills, It’ll Make You Feel Better – plus Recap Week Of August 23
- Polaroid Official iPhone App, InstantCam, Is An Embarrassing Failure
- Hang Your Apps Out To Dry With This Unique iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper [Download]
- Essential “I’m Crushing Your Head” Functionality Now Available On iPhone With AutoCrush
- 1990 vs 2010 – How Did We Survive Without The iPhone?
- Warning – New Nigerian Scam
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Have Fun – Be A Turd – Play DoodleDumps For iPhone
Maybe it’s just us, but there’s something refreshing about iPhone games that incorporate turds. In the past we’ve featured PooPong (think Atari Pong with flying poop) … Bathroom Racer … and that’s about it. Our brief observation … the App Store needs more poop and less sex education. Thankfully the folks at Blast One hear us and created a new iPhone game which is hysterically entertaining … DoodleDumps [iTunes $0.99].
Now if you’re thinking DoodleDumps is just another App Store embarrassment, nothing could be further from the truth. This doodle genre game provides hours of simple – but totally addictive – gameplay … not to mention top-notch programming, a killer original soundtrack (from Jazz / Alternative Rock musician Eve Wheeler) and ridiculously comical graphics. All this DoodleDump goodness comes at the bargain price of 99 cents.
When you’ve finally had enough of being an Angry Bird or a Fruit Ninja … live a little – be a turd! DoodleDumps provides the unique opportunity of playing a piece of shit as it skids and slides down a roll of toilet paper. Your mission is to keep yourself (the poop) safe … jumping over paper gaps, dodging pesky holes and avoiding a messy “Death by Splatter” all over the bathroom floor (ouch!).
Along the way, you’ll be presented with a number of power ups to collect and be treated to some special game modes like the legendary “double rainbow” mode (love it when a game can cleverly incorporate an Internet meme) or the epic “angel wings mile high” mode.
The developers are fully committed to making DoodleDumps even more awesome as the next update will include Dueling Turds mode (slalom racing against AI players), three levels of difficulty and so much more. So it’s time to shut up Talking Carl and stop giving a rat’s ass Where’s Waldo … drop the 99 cents, download DoodleDumps and see how fun being a turd can be.
The Gravedigger For iPhone – Human Or Zombie, Who Will You Be?
(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)
When I first heard that there was a game called The Gravedigger [iTunes $1.99], I presumed it to be monster truck rally kind of thing. Then I heard that the game was developed by a group from Brazil and it features zombies which really piqued my interest. Reading the description, I learned that you can play either as the humans or the zombies, so when I fired up the game for the first time, I decided to go the undead route. This is accomplished by choosing the gravedigger’s side (vs the priest’s).
Choose quick game to get a feel for the controls with a simple goal: kill the priest before his followers kill the gravedigger. The zombies fare better when they attack in groups, so you’ll want to build up a few before you send them off against the club, torch and gun wielding humans. The gravedigger makes new zombies by tending to his graveyard, giving them a help up out if the ground. You can also make new zombies by killing a human and turning them. The priest appears to make new followers by visiting their homes and reading the bible to them.
In campaign mode, you are given a series of tasks to complete for each level. In this mode, you can also recruit additional zombies by hanging around outside their houses. I guess the inhabitants just all of a sudden up and decide to turn, because they’ll come out of the house ready for action. If you don’t get to the house in time, you get angry mobs armed to the teeth instead. In later rounds, your zombie minions will auto-attack anything that comes near, so you’ll need to pay attention or they will quickly get themselves into trouble.
The art and music for this game is top notch, but the gameplay feels a little clunky at times and a bit repetitive. After playing several rounds, I expected to encounter new characters or at least new abilities and power-ups. The Gravedigger is available for $1.99 via the App Store.
Hey Soldier, You’re Looking a Little Sheepish – Saving Private Sheep [iPhone Game Review]
(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)
From the opening salvo of the old timey newsreel intro to the hilariously impossible to understand ovine leader, General Sheepard, to the sometimes dastardly difficult puzzles that comprise the gameplay, Saving Private Sheep [iTunes $0.99] by Bulkypix is a winner on many levels.
The game starts you off easy, with a few basic levels that outline the mechanics of attaining your goals. Don’t be fooled by these introductory levels, however, the puzzles will quickly ramp up. The basic idea is that you are presented with a sheep soldier that is resting upon a structure. By carefully removing the elements that the structure is made of, you attempt to get the sheep onto solid ground. One false move, however, and he’ll tumble over the side and be devoured by the wolves. In later levels, the sheep must make it across chasms to reach safety, requiring careful and precise timing of falling elements.
There were several levels that took me multiple tries to get through (like the first time I had to flip the sheep into the air to get him to safety). It is also important to pay attention to any levels where the General gives you pointers. These levels introduce new concepts that are key to success, like when a wolf appears in sheep’s clothing which changes your goal to *trying* to dump the "soldier in disguise" over the side.
The military theme carries throughout as you move across the campaign battlefield map and try to achieve medals for your best scores. The in-game music and sound effects also follow this theme. Global leaderboards are available via OpenFeint integration.
The iPhone and iPod Touch version is just 99 cents [iTunes] with two additional campaigns available via InApp purchase for 99 cents each. There is also an iPad HD version for $3.99 [iTunes], which I have not yet played, but it sports 20 new levels that were designed just for the device.
Farts, Zombies, Evil Unicorn, Pope, Chuck Norris, Hitler – All In One Epic iPhone Game
We rarely (if ever – too lazy to verify) preview apps that haven’t been released. But when we saw this next iPhone game over in the “Upcoming Games” section of TouchArcade … well, it had us at the title –> Almost Everything That Is Wrong With The App Store Combined In One Game.
So here’s the deal … in September, Mutant Games is planning to release a game which incorporates all the overplayed themes in the App Store … mainly farts and zombies. Appropriately, the game will be called … Farts VS. Zombies.
Seriously, Farts VS. Zombies will be epic. Stuff like The Evil Unicorn, Hitler, The Pope, Chuck Norris and other ridiculous nonsense will be included as well. And to destroy the oncoming aforementioned adversaries, your only weapon is … YOUR ASS! Hopefully by the September launch date rolls around, Mutant Games will include our other App Store faves like boobs and orgasms.
Farts VS. Zombies will be priced at $1.99 and judging by the ball busting hysterical trailer below … it’ll be worth every freaking penny! (watch the must-see trailer … it’s awesome)
Say Yep! to Yipe! 5: Attack of Idle Hands [iPhone Game Review]
(written by guest author Tim Giron. follow Tim on Twitter @timgiron)
If you like RPGs (the role playing games kind, not the rocket-propelled grenade kind) with a sense of humor, then you’ll want to check out Yipe! 5: Attack of Idle Hands. It’s an old saying that "idle hands are the devil’s pawnshop" and here, Idle Hands refers to a demon that’s been terrorizing the land. I haven’t yet met him in the game yet, but I’m pretty sure I’ll need more than my current weapon, a rusty pitchfork, to get past him.
The Yipe! franchise has been around for quite some time with Mac and PC games dating back over 10 years. The iPhone game gives you a full-blown, big feel adventure right in the palm of your hand. The game is currently on sale for 99 cents [iTunes $0.99] and there is also a free version [iTunes Free] with an in app purchase to turn it into the full game.
You start out by choosing a character icon and then selecting one of three archetypes: Sneaky, Superhero or Brains, each of which highlights one of the traits of strength, dexterity or intelligence. Once you’ve got your character built, it’s time to go adventuring. Stopping by the castle for a quick chat with the king, he laments the state of his kingdom which is being overrun by zombie bunnies. Since there’s gold for the brave adventurer who takes on the quest of the day, you sign up and then proceed to run amok. Along the way, you’ll fight all manner of beasties and (hopefully) grab more gold and experience to level up. If you can survive long enough, you can come back to town and upgrade your weapons and armor or buy some grub to sustain you on the road. Yes, I have paused right in the middle of a fight to eat a cheeseburger and replenish my hit points!
The fighting is pretty straightforward and each character type has a few special skills that can be employed to give you an edge. Hilariously, some of the monsters won’t even take notice of you if you are a lower level character. You can choose to fight them anyway, but you will definitely lose. Better to choose your early battles wisely, grab the loot and go shopping before you face off against the Monster Mouths or the Boss Zombie Bunny.
The storyline is well crafted, the art is top notch and the music and sounds add to the fun. Normally priced at $1.99 [on sale – iTunes $0.99 or Free Lite Version], there’s a lot of entertainment for your gaming dollar here.
Dig Dug iPhone iOS 4 Wallpaper [Download]
Similar to Apple’s recent introduction of the Retro Games section in the App Store, we’ve accidentally on purpose began our own old school collection … Retro Games iPhone 4 iOS 4 wallpaper. But unlike most retro iPhone games, our collection won’t cost you a dime because we’re sharing our vintage nuggets for FREE.
Our home screen wallpaper collection started with Pac-Man (we went a little nuts and collected 9 different versions) … then Ms. Pac-Man … next up was Donkey Kong … and now, the latest addition to our family, the classic arcade game published by Namco in 1982 – Dig Dug.
We found this awesome Dig Dug iPhone wallpaper on Flickr, created by docrocketpop … poor thing was sitting there all alone, looking lost and sad … we just had to bring it home.
Dig Dug is 640×960 size for iPhone 4. Download directly to iPhone’s camera roll by touching the image, press and hold the image on its new page and select save. Enjoy!
Spanking The Donkey – We’re Still Talking About An iPhone Game, Right?
Nothing really to see here, folks, move along …
It’s a free iPhone game … it’s called Spanking The Donkey [iTunes Free].
To spank the donkey, just shake the iPhone up and down as fast as you can. Be sure to check out the Resistance Mode, “keep spanking to test your endurance and improve your spank during a long spanking session.”
Oh, did we mention it’s called Spanking The Donkey?
Again people … nothing to see here, move along. Our motives were purely selfish … we wanted to be the only non-porn website on the Internet to feature Spanking The Donkey. Yeah, we did mention it’s called Spanking The Donkey, right? LOL.
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